“You’re My Present This Year”: An Oral History of the Folgers Incest Ad
December 16, 2019 1:56 PM   Subscribe

Ten years ago, Folgers coffee first aired their now-infamous “Coming Home” ad. Little did they know, it would go on to inspire everything from parody videos to severely NSFW fan fiction.
posted by blithers (124 comments total) 36 users marked this as a favorite
 
I mean... name something that hasn't inspired severely NSFW fan fiction.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:02 PM on December 16, 2019 [39 favorites]


Catherine Combs, who played the sister, declined to be interviewed for this article.

The only winning move is not to play.
posted by hanov3r at 2:04 PM on December 16, 2019 [89 favorites]


I always thought this commercial was spot-on, as drinking a cup of Folgers is basically the coffee equivalent of kissing your sister.
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:10 PM on December 16, 2019 [47 favorites]


I mean... name something that hasn't inspired severely NSFW fan fiction.

Yep, that's the definition of Rule 34. Welcome to the internet, Folgers.
posted by filthy light thief at 2:11 PM on December 16, 2019 [4 favorites]


I mean... name something that hasn't inspired severely NSFW fan fiction.

The 1924 Boston Red Sox! As far as any of us is aware, anyway.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 2:12 PM on December 16, 2019 [5 favorites]


We put my mom’s ashes in a Folgers container.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:13 PM on December 16, 2019 [16 favorites]


Still trying to figure out how the dude was stumbling around WEST AFRICA and couldn't find any real coffee.
posted by praemunire at 2:15 PM on December 16, 2019 [70 favorites]



Still trying to figure out how the dude was stumbling around WEST AFRICA and couldn't find any real coffee.


colonizers gonna colonize
posted by lalochezia at 2:16 PM on December 16, 2019 [25 favorites]


The 1924 Boston Red Sox! As far as any of us is aware, anyway.

It's too late for 2019 Yuletide nominations, but: challenge accepted.
posted by northernish at 2:17 PM on December 16, 2019 [37 favorites]


This fandom is collectively known as “Folgercest” or “Folgerscest".

every day we stray further from gods light
posted by lalochezia at 2:18 PM on December 16, 2019 [99 favorites]


...it was altogether pretty unremarkable. It’s not something I have a lot of memories about, outside of the fact that ultimately the commercial kind of seems like the brother and sister are going to have sex.

Other than that one thing, what's the big deal?
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:19 PM on December 16, 2019 [21 favorites]



The 1924 Boston Red Sox! As far as any of us is aware, anyway.

It's too late for 2019 Yuletide nominations, but: challenge accepted.


The pinstriped old time uniforms basically help it write itself.

(One's mileage may vary, I guess)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:21 PM on December 16, 2019 [2 favorites]


Still trying to figure out how the dude was stumbling around WEST AFRICA and couldn't find any real coffee.

Maybe instead of being in the Peace Corps, he was actually on an LDS mission, but it turns out his family (and he) aren't that devout. Because they love to drink coffee. And fuck.
posted by The Tensor at 2:22 PM on December 16, 2019 [52 favorites]


Reading the part in the article about the original pitch, it seems like the ad execs had an idea they liked for this setup where the brother comes home after so long that he barely recognizes his sister and vice versa, but they share a family ritual because family! Togetherness! Other things we want people to associate with giving us money! But in order to use it to sell Folgers specifically the younger character had to be old enough to make and drink coffee and it all went downhill from there.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 2:34 PM on December 16, 2019 [19 favorites]


A friend once wrote some Folgers fanfic as a gift to me (it made sense at the time) and it lives on AO3, but since it is short and involves neither fucking nor death, it never turns up in these Folgers Incest Retrospective pieces. Still, I live in hope that one day it will be plucked from obscurity and featured in one of these articles so I can tease my friend about it forEVER.
posted by Stacey at 2:35 PM on December 16, 2019 [13 favorites]




> We never explained why Picard was serving General Foods International Flavors instant coffee in Paris, either.

Q!
posted by WCityMike at 2:41 PM on December 16, 2019 [18 favorites]


... okay who will write the fanfic where Peloton's marketing team gather around this article, reading it out to each other, laughing and sobbing in relief because it really could have been worse for them?

(But also, I'm Doing This Again, note the bunch of dudes behind the ad wondering how on earth anyone's seeing anything OFF in this pristine family relationship! while mostly-apparently-women in the discussion are saying, yeah, there's a tone there, there are signals that we learn to keep an eye out for re: Man Feelings, and this ad has them.)
posted by Tess of the d'Urkelvilles at 2:48 PM on December 16, 2019 [30 favorites]


Still trying to figure out how the dude was stumbling around WEST AFRICA and couldn't find any real coffee.

It's not a huge crop outside of Cote d'Ivoire and even there it's mostly grown for export to countries outside of sub-Saharan Africa. It's not a terribly popular drink unless it's Nescafe.

I lived in West Africa for a couple of years and Nescafe was basically it, unless I wanted to buy stale, burnt beans imported from France at the expat store.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 2:49 PM on December 16, 2019 [62 favorites]


Maybe I'm numbed to incest somehow, but I would have interpreted this in the "soldier coming home" sense it seems to have been written. The glances would not have been meaningful in the way that they're a keystone in the alternate interpretation, they would have been "generic semi-emotional expression in reference to product or service." History suggests I may be more gullible than most.

But you know, I'll cheerlead for the subculture no problem. This is a perfectly cromulent addition to the "Garfield Dog Cum" family of internettia.
posted by rhizome at 2:51 PM on December 16, 2019 [8 favorites]


metafilter: a perfectly cromulent addition to the "Garfield Dog Cum" family of internettia.
posted by dismas at 2:56 PM on December 16, 2019 [30 favorites]


For example, it’s almost universally agreed that the reason the brother joined the Peace Corps was to get as far away from home as possible, trying to outrun his incestuous feelings.

Snort-laughed at that and this fandom is not... unfamiliar to me.
posted by asperity at 2:58 PM on December 16, 2019 [11 favorites]


When this ad was airing, my wife and I had an infant in the house and were not necessarily the quickest on the uptake. I think after seeing it the first time, I said “They said they were brother and sister, right? Because…” and my wife wasn’t sure. Then we saw it again, and the comment was “So that’s how it is in that family.” The vibe was strong. Stronger than Folger's coffee.
posted by nubs at 2:59 PM on December 16, 2019 [40 favorites]


I still can't figure out the part where she points at herself and says "sister!". They obviously needed to do something to establish that she wasn't the girlfriend, but it's so unnecessarily awkward. She could have said "Oh don't pretend you don't recognize your little sister!", or "You're in the right place, favorite brother!".

The shoe-horning of the relationship makes it seem like badly-written porn where they decide after the fact that they want it to be an incest setup. The sensual as hell lighting doesn't help either.
posted by 0xFCAF at 3:03 PM on December 16, 2019 [23 favorites]


I think we all need to acknowledge the ruthless creative brilliance of the Saatchi & Saatchi ad agency for their innovative use of implied incest to create a commercial that has us all talking about Folgers coffee a decade after it aired and surely for decades to cum.
posted by AlSweigart at 3:12 PM on December 16, 2019 [44 favorites]


That was a typo.
posted by AlSweigart at 3:12 PM on December 16, 2019 [76 favorites]


It's not a huge crop outside of Cote d'Ivoire and even there it's mostly grown for export to countries outside of sub-Saharan Africa. It's not a terribly popular drink unless it's Nescafe.

Seconded. I lived in Burkina Faso, which doesn't produce any coffee to speak of, and traveled in Togo next door, which does, and in neither place was Togolese or Ivoirian coffee easy to get - in Burkina, I just didn't have any options, and in Togo I had to drive a couple hours from the nearest city to a monastery that sold their own product. Everyone else was growing it exclusively to export, and all you'd get at the store that wasn't instant was coming in from France* (in other words, yeah, this).

*While I have great love for many things about France and French culinary traditions, frankly an American traveling there is as like to have an "ah, real coffee" moment upon returning as one traveling in West Africa.
posted by solotoro at 3:20 PM on December 16, 2019 [20 favorites]


I remember thinking the ad was pretty weak, and did an awkward job of portraying an awkward (?) reunion. I didn’t (and still don’t) get an incest vibe from it, but... different strokes for different folks, I guess.

What did make me chuckle is the coffee maker, which was our aging-but-still-functioning model at the time. It’s now our decade-older-but-still-functioning model! There may be dumpster fires as far as the eye can see in recent years, but at least one of my many consumer items has outlived its planned obsolescence.
posted by cupcakeninja at 3:28 PM on December 16, 2019 [9 favorites]


That was a typo.

Uh huh.

The shoe-horning of the relationship makes it seem like badly-written porn where they decide after the fact that they want it to be an incest setup.

It's just really weird all around. And it's not just the flirty glance between the two; the implication is that he's been away long enough that he won't recognize his now all grown-up sister. The idea of a a reunion between an older man and a young woman who has grown up from child to interesting in the intervening years is not an uncommon one in stories both romantic and pornographic.

Building on that, they've been apart so long he might not recognize her...where does this level of affection come from that she would call him her "present"? If they are that close, I can't believe there wasn't a regular exchange of communication - letters, pictures, email, whatever. And if they exchanged pictures, he would recognize her - so he should know who this is. But he apparently doesn't. The level of affection and excitement present in this case starts to imply something else, perhaps a secret crush.

Next is the weird timing: he's coming home after years and years away. Long enough for her to grow up into someone he doesn't recognize. You would think the whole family would be excited about this, and would be there to welcome him. But no - instead, it's just his sister, up early, with the parents still in bed. It creates an appearance of these two stealing some time together, conspiring to have a few moments with just the two of them.
posted by nubs at 3:33 PM on December 16, 2019 [25 favorites]


People are dreadful. There isn't any hint of incest in that ad that I can discern. In the resounding words of moralist Gomer Pyle, "Shame, shame, shame!".
posted by Chitownfats at 3:34 PM on December 16, 2019 [8 favorites]


“So that’s how it is in that family.”


An everyday morning for The Aristocrats!
posted by CynicalKnight at 3:37 PM on December 16, 2019 [7 favorites]


She could have said "Oh don't pretend you don't recognize your little sister!"

Would wager an earlier version of this did have that much exposition, but every second counts when ad time costs money and you need to hurry up and show the coffee!

How can we spend as little time as possible establishing the relationship?

"Sister!"
posted by asperity at 3:39 PM on December 16, 2019 [9 favorites]


his now all grown-up sister

Usage Note: In this context, the standard phrasing would be that the sister is "all growed-up".
posted by The Tensor at 3:40 PM on December 16, 2019 [11 favorites]


I don't remember this ad before but I would never have gotten anything untoward out it. I'm ashamed of you people.
posted by octothorpe at 3:42 PM on December 16, 2019 [4 favorites]


drinking a cup of Folgers is basically the coffee equivalent of kissing your sister.

This is also true for the Bob's Burgers definition of "kissing your sister."
posted by Strange Interlude at 3:45 PM on December 16, 2019 [3 favorites]


I'm ashamed of you

Dad?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:50 PM on December 16, 2019 [23 favorites]


^^^ *points at self*

SON!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:53 PM on December 16, 2019 [47 favorites]


AN ORAL HISTORY OF THE 2019 PELOTON HOLIDAY HORROR AD

Today, in the year 2029, it is hard to believe that the Peloton Holiday Horror Ad of 2019 is ten years behind us. When the commercial first came out, we were like, “Wait, he bought her what? Who is she talking to? Why is she filming herself?” Now that the Peloton Holiday Horror Ad is Hollywood’s top-grossing franchise, with over $80 billion in ticket, home media, and horror exercise bike sales, it’s hard to believe that our entire world was shaped by one terrible Christmas commercial.

We gathered the talent responsible for creating the Peloton Holiday Horror Ad to create this oral history.
Bobby Colgate, producer: When [producer] Danny [Bajonious] first came to me, he said, “Listen, the idea is simple. A man buys his wife an exercise bike. Market research shows that many men are unhappy and that it’s easy to convince them that the problem is unhappy women.” So why not have a man give an exercise bike to a woman? He could make the woman happy.

Danny Bajonious, writer: Bobby loved the pitch. He was like, “Let’s take it to the next level. Let’s have the woman be really afraid. Like Halloween for Christmas.”

Colgate: I had just watched The Nightmare Before Christmas, and seriously for the whole next year I was convinced I really was Jack Skeleton [sic]. It made a lot of sense at the time, Skeleton/Peloton. My first idea, dancing skeleton men riding a fleet of Pelotons, was rejected for being too close to the music video for “Around the World” by Daft Punk. So we leaned on the horror angle rather than the skeletons.

Danny Elfman, Oingo Boingo: They had me write a suite of of uptempo pumpkin-themed orchestral pieces. They were never used, except for “Flight of the Pumpkins,” which was a DVD bonus on Texas Peloton Massacre.

Billy Pteters, Peloton husband actor: The whole thing was amazing. The only direction I got was, “Just undersell it. The action speaks for itself. You’re such an asshole, you know it and the viewers know it, so don’t go overboard. We want everything to read realistically right up to the eldritch horror.” And then Monica just nailed it.
[Peloton wife actress Monica Ruiz declined to be interviewed for the story.]
Pteters: I actually died between the first and second Peloton Graveyard movies. Thankfully the studio was able to use technology to bring me back to life. I can only hope that one day similar technology is available for women, but they are so complicated, so who knows.

Sentient Peloton bike, exercise bike actor: This was when I was first becoming sentient, so it’s a little hazy. My neural net had been trained on UPC codes and all I remember of the director was a big bar code yelling “no blood until the third-act showstopper.” But when I linked my shame-processing module with a fear-response activator on the last day of shooting, I knew this was the start of something big.

President Jack Peloton, Peloton bike inventor [not interviewed; quoted via official tweet]: Human scum will all fear badly!!

Bajonious: It’s amazing that not only did this commercial launch the entire Peloton horror franchise, it’s also responsible for Jack’s rise to power.

President Peloton [official tweet]: Witch hunt!!! Bloodshed woodshed hamberder!!! I GOT IT FOR YOU

Bajonious: After President Peloton died, and the scientists used technology to bring him back to life, I was honored when the National Archives and Records Administration chose to include the Peloton 2019 horror commercial in his official neural net training.
Billy Pteters returns this fall in Blockchain Peloton Necromancer IV. President Peloton is currently appearing on the pro rally circuit in anticipation for the next election in 2950 AD.
posted by compartment at 3:56 PM on December 16, 2019 [105 favorites]


Oh my god IRFH stahp
posted by loquacious at 3:56 PM on December 16, 2019 [1 favorite]


"...oh, Dad..."
posted by The Tensor at 3:57 PM on December 16, 2019


Also I'm switching to tea immediately.
posted by loquacious at 3:57 PM on December 16, 2019 [3 favorites]


I mean... name something that hasn't inspired severely NSFW fan fiction.

So far I've seen zero Trump fan fiction or parody porn AND I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND PLAY WITH BONE RUNES IN YOUR GIBLETS IF YOU SPOIL THAT FOR ME ESPECIALLY IF THAT INVOLVES ANYTHING INCEST.
posted by loquacious at 3:59 PM on December 16, 2019 [20 favorites]


I saw this article earlier, commented to my husband "Huh, I remember this ad. I didn't think it was incesty!" and then rewatched the ad, and... yeah, incest.
posted by sarcasticah at 4:13 PM on December 16, 2019 [1 favorite]


There's nothing that could be written into a Trump incest fanfic that he hasn't already implied himself. Takes all the creative fun out of it.
posted by phunniemee at 4:13 PM on December 16, 2019 [18 favorites]


Let's get down to brass tacks: What's in the box?
posted by 0xFCAF at 4:40 PM on December 16, 2019 [7 favorites]


Pain.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:43 PM on December 16, 2019 [21 favorites]


Gwyneth Paltrow's head egg.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:44 PM on December 16, 2019 [9 favorites]


The vibe was strong. Stronger than Folger's coffee.

Part of the hilarity was that the incest vibe was so strong and, if anything, the sister was hitting on her brother—it’s not just the end line, but the way she says it! And it’s even more cringe-y after reading that they wanted to convey the sister growing up in the “blossoming into a woman” sense rather than “last time I saw you you were only yea high” sense.
posted by sallybrown at 4:46 PM on December 16, 2019 [7 favorites]


The best part of growing up
Is two siblings with one cup.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:49 PM on December 16, 2019 [73 favorites]


so glad I'm not the only one who found this commercial hot
posted by some loser at 4:50 PM on December 16, 2019 [15 favorites]


Jack Stratton [writer of writingdirty.com, author of the fanfic story “Waking Up”]: I love coffee. I am really into coffee and Brooklyn coffee culture. So in my story, I tackle the coffee question, because I don't personally like Folgers (or any coffee that isn't freshly roasted and ground right before making it.) My two goals were to play out the subtextual incestuous flirtation and get them drinking better coffee.

Hey everyone we can close our browsers and go home now because we finally found the worst person on the Internet
posted by lorddimwit at 4:57 PM on December 16, 2019 [18 favorites]


I always thought this commercial was spot-on, as drinking a cup of Folgers is basically the coffee equivalent of kissing your sister.

Because it’s the internet I still have no idea how you feel about coffee.
posted by Bovine Love at 5:13 PM on December 16, 2019 [40 favorites]


So far I've seen zero Trump fan fiction or parody porn

I mean I promise not to share it but I assure you that it exists.
posted by aspersioncast at 5:13 PM on December 16, 2019 [3 favorites]


If it's not meant to be sexual, what was that <1 second flash of a woman getting out of bed in a darkened bedroom with light just beginning to come through the windows. I assume it was the sister, but the woman's hair seemed too curly.
posted by jamjam at 5:26 PM on December 16, 2019 [1 favorite]


It's supposed to be mom, who woke up to the smell of Folgers. Even outside the incesty vibes, it's a really bad remake of the original "Peter comes home."

They edited down the commercial so tightly for everything but the bashful, eager glances between the brother and sister.
posted by muddgirl at 5:30 PM on December 16, 2019 [7 favorites]


Other than that one thing, what's the big deal?

Right? You fuck one sibling...
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:32 PM on December 16, 2019 [20 favorites]


Apropos of nothing, I was surprised visiting Peru all the coffee you could find was instant. I mean, it's PERU. But there you go... Now when I drink that stuff I always think of Peru, which is basically the best thing possible that can possibly happen chocking down instant coffee. So I got that going for me. Now we return to your regularly scheduled preversion.
posted by hilberseimer at 5:34 PM on December 16, 2019 [7 favorites]


I lived in West Africa for a couple of years and Nescafe was basically it,

This was my similar experience all over Indonesia where there are picturesque plantations growing great beans for export.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:40 PM on December 16, 2019 [3 favorites]


If there isn't an incest coffee porn video, then the folks at Pornhub have clearly lost a step.
posted by Ber at 5:43 PM on December 16, 2019 [4 favorites]


Definite undertones. She's sitting on the counter (as if she's a treat for him). She's holding her crotch with her left hand while looking at him. She sticks the bow on him, tells him he's her present this year (she wants to unwrap him).
posted by fings at 5:44 PM on December 16, 2019 [9 favorites]


I just love that we can now say "Folgers Incest Ad," and pretty much everybody knows what you're talking about.

Oh, brave new world...
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:44 PM on December 16, 2019 [10 favorites]




Full disclosure, the first time I saw this ad it was I was serving in the Peace Corps. More specifically, I was watching the ad in my mother's kitchen after saving every vacation day I had to spend Christmas and my birthday at home. I'd only missed one Christmas with mom and that was because I didn't have enough leave saved up during my first year of service to go home. I hadn't seen my family for about 18 months--the longest stretch I'd gone in life without coming home. At the airport, my mom literally called me her present that year.

Fuller disclosure, as someone who grew 6 inches and three cup-sizes over my eighth grade year I understood how a teenage girl could become unrecognizable over a short period of time.

All that to say, this ad never read like incest to me. I thought it was a touching, refreshing taking on the typical solider returning media. It felt like Folgers was recognizing that there were other ways to serve that required sacrifice and time away from family. In short this ad was made for me--just me, apparently.
posted by CatastropheWaitress at 6:01 PM on December 16, 2019 [37 favorites]


I lived in West Africa for a couple of years and Nescafe was basically it, unless I wanted to buy stale, burnt beans imported from France at the expat store.

Also, Peace Corps volunteers are broke and good coffee is expensive. In Malawi, coffee farms were relatively new and priced for tourists, expats, and state department employees. Volunteers who drank offee asked friends and family to send over grounds. Otherwise we learned how to do cool things with powdered milk, Ricoffy, and too much sugar.
posted by CatastropheWaitress at 6:16 PM on December 16, 2019 [8 favorites]


"What are you doing?" is a question that seems to lead to all sorts of taboo situations...it's one of those consent-seeking questions that gives an out if there's an innocent misunderstanding...or clarifies ulterior intentions. "You're my present" is just the next step in the dance...he needs to choose his next words wisely, but then the parents swing in and break up the vibe.
posted by Chuffy at 6:27 PM on December 16, 2019 [10 favorites]


I only watched the exxxtended version and it made perfect sense.
posted by bendy at 6:31 PM on December 16, 2019 [1 favorite]


That was a typo.
posted by bendy at 6:31 PM on December 16, 2019 [22 favorites]


Really, they just could have edited out the lingering glance closeup shots of both of them and the thing would have lost all the "incest" vibe.
posted by soundguy99 at 6:31 PM on December 16, 2019 [3 favorites]


If there isn't an incest coffee porn video, then the folks at Pornhub have clearly lost a step.

I care about the people of metafilter so I was willing to jump on this particular grenade. While I'm not going to try to search my way to "victory," immediate direct searches like "coffee incest" or "folgers incest" returned zero hits.

Kinda wish I knew how to feel about this.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 6:39 PM on December 16, 2019 [10 favorites]


FTA: "One of the very first people, if not the first person, to write about the incesteous undertones in the ad was Alexa Marinos. “Is it just me,” she asked on her now-defunct blog, Cleveland Is a Plum, “Or does Peter want to bang his little sister?”"

Oh, man, I used to read that blog all the time, although I don't really remember the Folger's bit. (Speaking of marketing campaigns that didn't go as expected, the blog title is a bit of a snarky take on an early 80's attempt at promoting Cleveland via the phrase "New York’s the Big Apple, but Cleveland’s a Plum”. Which, uh . . . . yeah.)
posted by soundguy99 at 6:40 PM on December 16, 2019 [4 favorites]


Even if porhub has yet to host Folgerscest (my iPhone predictive text entered that, btw) they do have coffee mugs for sale.

You’re welcum.
posted by sara is disenchanted at 6:52 PM on December 16, 2019 [2 favorites]


God, people make the biggest deal out of nothing.
posted by waving at 7:01 PM on December 16, 2019


Brotherrrr, I’m stuck in the coffee machine.
posted by Bovine Love at 7:03 PM on December 16, 2019 [3 favorites]


So, wait. Am I the only guy in the world who has a relationship with his little sister where there is absolutely no way we can ever see each other enough, and every time we get together it's "you're my present" time?
She's been my little sister for sixty years at this point, and every time we get together the connection is so profound that words are almost superfluous. Sex (ewww!) would ruin that connection. It's not just an "old people" "O.K. Boomer" thing because I've felt this way from the start.
Seriously. What's wrong with people? Have you never had a profound connection with someone of the opposite sex and not wanted to fuck them? Is that part of the problem we have with misogyny in this world?
Honestly, I'm flummoxed by this whole thing. And disturbed. But mostly flummoxed.
Sheesh.
posted by Floydd at 7:15 PM on December 16, 2019 [11 favorites]


Does she gaze at you bashfully? And when she meets your eyes, you look down? C'mon, these are classic flirt moves.

They didn't have to edit this commercial this way. Compare it to the editing in the original. No (comparatively) long closeups.
posted by muddgirl at 7:26 PM on December 16, 2019 [19 favorites]


Cinema has a language my dude. It has tropes, it has shorthand. Did they mean to invoke common romantic framing in what they shot? No, I'd take them at their word on that. Did they happen to do it anyway? Yes. Did people recognise that? See thread.
posted by dumbland at 7:27 PM on December 16, 2019 [36 favorites]


... okay who will write the fanfic where Peloton's marketing team gather around this article, reading it out to each other, laughing and sobbing in relief because it really could have been worse for them?

Everyone involved in that ad is getting six figure bonus this holiday season. Don’t believe me? Count up how many times the word “Peleton” shows up in this post about Folgers Coffee.
posted by sideshow at 8:22 PM on December 16, 2019 [7 favorites]


Kenya: coffee for export, as discussed above. People will give you strange like for ordering coffee black. I'm pretty sure my aeropress and quasi smuggled bags of uncut beans were the best coffee available in the college town I lived in.

Ethiopians, though, love coffee like no one else. Sometimes, you are sort of in a rut in life, and then you get a change of scenery, and are like, damn, this is my pack. Ethiopia. Never just for export.
posted by kaibutsu at 8:29 PM on December 16, 2019 [8 favorites]


It's supposed to be mom, who woke up to the smell of Folgers

It's supposed to be mom, who woke up next to the uncle to the smell of Folgers

FTFY
posted by dobbs at 8:53 PM on December 16, 2019 [19 favorites]


So messed up...
posted by Windopaene at 9:09 PM on December 16, 2019


Sex
posted by sugar and confetti at 9:52 PM on December 16, 2019 [3 favorites]


That was a typo
posted by sugar and confetti at 9:52 PM on December 16, 2019 [20 favorites]


Final entry of the GQ piece:
Matthew Alan: To be honest, that is probably still the job that I get recognized for the most. I have so much respect for Folgers because of that commercial.
Matthew Alan may be right; he is the kind of generically good-looking thirtyish white guy that I can never recall, and when I looked him up to see if I had seen him in anything else, I learned I’d watched him in a major supporting role in a bunch episodes ofCastle Rock, which I watched... last week.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:01 PM on December 16, 2019 [4 favorites]


All y'all're nasty.
posted by biogeo at 10:33 PM on December 16, 2019 [4 favorites]


I was really hoping Catherine Combs hadn't been driven out of acting by the reaction to the commercial, and was happy to learn she has continued to act on the stage and in movies and TV. And for all the Trek (and Robot Jox) fans out there, her father is none other than Jeffrey Combs.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 10:41 PM on December 16, 2019 [17 favorites]


To quote William Etty, “to the pure, all things are pure”
posted by bifurcated at 12:53 AM on December 17, 2019 [5 favorites]


We put my mom’s ashes in a Folgers container.

hottt
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 2:54 AM on December 17, 2019 [7 favorites]


That was a typo.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 2:54 AM on December 17, 2019 [14 favorites]


Another message I'm getting from the encounter is, "Sister" got a lot of awful and disappointing presents during his years with the French Foreign Legion or whatever.
posted by Ashenmote at 3:08 AM on December 17, 2019 [1 favorite]


Meatfilter: That was a typo
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 3:18 AM on December 17, 2019 [18 favorites]


We've secretly replaced the brother's coffee with blatant incestuous undertones.

Frankly, we think he got the better end of the deal.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:20 AM on December 17, 2019 [12 favorites]


her father is none other than Jeffrey Combs.

Well, then, given some of her father's best known roles (Re-Animator) I suppose we should count ourselves lucky that commercial wasn't even more disturbing . . .
posted by soundguy99 at 4:40 AM on December 17, 2019 [8 favorites]


Quote from the guy who cast the ad: I suppose, had I thought at the time, “this is going to be a 10-year incest joke,” I would’ve made some more mental notes.

Ow my sides
posted by azpenguin at 5:07 AM on December 17, 2019 [4 favorites]


Sometimes in life we must just folge on ahead past the uncomfortable things. Don’t live in the past, sister. Be the present!
posted by Servo5678 at 5:57 AM on December 17, 2019 [8 favorites]


It's supposed to be mom, who woke up next to the uncle to the smell of Folgers

Meanwhile, the golden retriever.... *record scratch*
posted by Wolfdog at 6:09 AM on December 17, 2019 [2 favorites]


Well, then, given some of her father's best known roles (Re-Animator) I suppose we should count ourselves lucky that commercial wasn't even more disturbing . . .

Now I'm imagining the commercial with two Vorta and oh god I'm one of those kind of Trekkies now.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:35 AM on December 17, 2019 [7 favorites]


I came for the marketing and incest jokes, but I'm leaving with a firmer grasp of the realities of coffee production and retail availablility in various West African nations

Great site, keep it up y'all
posted by captain afab at 6:57 AM on December 17, 2019 [61 favorites]


I had forgotten that J.M. Smucker owns Folgers. They are super conservative- the agency I worked for had them as a client for a while, and they wouldn't even let us run their spots on game shows (because gambling).
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:27 AM on December 17, 2019 [3 favorites]


I had never seen this before, and wow, yes, the incest is strong.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:39 AM on December 17, 2019 [1 favorite]




> Well, this post puts this particular madness into an unsettling new light.

Get up you sleepyhead / you can sleep when you are DEAD
(a copy with a few more pixels)
posted by WCityMike at 7:57 AM on December 17, 2019 [4 favorites]


Fly fly fly! *off key tootling*
posted by loquacious at 8:09 AM on December 17, 2019


Next is the weird timing: he's coming home after years and years away. Long enough for her to grow up into someone he doesn't recognize.

I never thought he never really failed to recognize her; it's just a pretense to communicate "wow, look at how much you've grown!"

Which, of course, only adds to the incestuous subtext.
posted by Gelatin at 8:49 AM on December 17, 2019 [2 favorites]


The Folgers incest commercial is like a Chicago winter... it comes around every year and yet somehow it's always still worse than you remember it.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:29 AM on December 17, 2019 [9 favorites]




i regret to inform you they are leaning into it.


God it seems like it was just last week we were horrified that the brands were getting horny-weird on twitter and now they've gone more mainstream.

Oh yeah it was just last week.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:50 AM on December 17, 2019 [2 favorites]


Floydd: Honestly, I'm flummoxed by this whole thing. And disturbed. But mostly flummoxed.

I think it's what Aza Azdaema, one of the fanfic authors interviewed for the piece, said: I really think Folgercest is a peak example of fandom at its best. It's wildly creative, absurd, transformative. It really has relatively little to do with the source material, and everything to do with the meaning we have ascribed to it.

I was generally pleased by this article because journalists usually use the "voice of fandom" as a way to take cheap shots at people in fandom, but the quotes they pulled from fannish interviewees were really thoughtfully chosen and represented the particular people-who-do-Yuletide side of fandom well.
posted by capricorn at 10:45 AM on December 17, 2019 [9 favorites]


We put my mom’s ashes in a Folgers container.

It is a modestly-priced receptacle...
posted by Chuffy at 11:35 AM on December 17, 2019 [4 favorites]


"Just because we're horny doesn't mean we're saps!" OK this is getting mixed up a little
posted by rhizome at 2:52 PM on December 17, 2019


i regret to inform you they are leaning into it.

Honestly, I'm more creeped out by the Harmonizer who is in the shower with the father-in-law than anything else in this ad.
posted by nubs at 3:23 PM on December 17, 2019 [1 favorite]


Like, not in an "ew, two guys in the shower" way but in a "why is someone from Folgers helping someone bathe" way. It feels like a pretty intrusive move for a coffee brand.
posted by nubs at 3:26 PM on December 17, 2019 [1 favorite]


Wait wait wait what wait

I was mildly amused when I saw that after clicking on the special MeFi video window and figured it was from some comedians I'm not familiar with. But it's really from Folgers. And so now it is time to throw the internet into the sea and move on with our lives.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:43 PM on December 17, 2019


Like I'm really really stuck on their editing-room decisions. Usually a coffee commercial saves the loving, lingering close-ups for the actual coffee-drinking scene. But in this commercial they don't even show anyone drinking the coffee! Is that considered old-fashioned marketing now? They can't sell coffee, they have to sell this extremely specific relationship?
posted by muddgirl at 3:57 PM on December 17, 2019 [2 favorites]


Apropos of nothing, I was surprised visiting Peru all the coffee you could find was instant.

We used to call it "No es café."
posted by straight at 4:36 PM on December 17, 2019 [7 favorites]


But in this commercial they don't even show anyone drinking the coffee!

Coffee's for closers! wink wink
posted by rhizome at 5:32 PM on December 17, 2019 [5 favorites]


Wait a minute. The most puzzling part of the new commercial is: who the fuck brews Folgers in a French press what the fuck is even going on here
posted by sara is disenchanted at 5:49 PM on December 17, 2019 [7 favorites]


In related (sorry) news, here is official documentation of Health Canada's regrettable choice to give Jack and Jill matching STIs.
posted by eponym at 7:14 PM on December 17, 2019


Like I'm really really stuck on their editing-room decisions. Usually a coffee commercial saves the loving, lingering close-ups for the actual coffee-drinking scene.

I am finding commercials getting more and more deconstructed all the time. I suspect I first became aware if it living in Montreal in the eighties when I noticed a commercial in French that I knew in English. Same actors -- were they bilingual? No, just clever editing kept us from seeing enough of their spoken dialogue onscreen to register that their lips were not necessarily matching the sounds.

In the last several years when I am in a movie theatre as a captive audience to the preshow commercials, I have taken to either (a) popping in the earbuds and seeing only the video and seeing how long it takes me to work out the product (b) shutting my eyes and seeing if I can deduce the product from the audio alone.

My findings are that (a) is easier because you're pretty much guaranteed to see the logo by the end, although often it takes a while to bring the visuals to anything connected with the product* and (b) a fuck of a lot of commercials have a soundtrack of whistling and ukulele.

*It was trickier in the nineties when everything -- mutual funds, pickup trucks, trade school education, erectile dysfunction medication -- was sold by showing people rock climbing.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:52 PM on December 17, 2019 [5 favorites]


This is true. Take that commercial for the Marines: rock climbing, then fighting a terrible CGI dragon.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:11 AM on December 18, 2019 [1 favorite]


"In the last several years when I am in a movie theatre as a captive audience to the preshow commercials..."

At least at my local theater, the answer is "cars" 95% of the time... And the more inscrutable the commercial, the more likely that it's cars.
posted by kaibutsu at 8:36 AM on December 18, 2019 [1 favorite]


1 I'd like to emphasize the above, which would have been easy to miss: there is apparently a new Folgers commercial that is about family members showering together.

2. I predict a strong rise very soon in TV commercials about incest.

3. Watching the Folgers incest commercial and its many derivations is pretty much my only holiday tradition.
posted by Sterros at 12:26 PM on December 18, 2019 [4 favorites]


Next up, new Folger's spokespeople, Lena Headey and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau.

I don't even know how to look this up, nor do I suppose I want to, but I hope we all are agog at this because incest is pretty darn uncommon. I never had a female sibling but would like to think no matter how "objectively" hot they were it wouldn't have plugged in my percolator...
posted by maxwelton at 1:51 PM on December 18, 2019 [1 favorite]


maxwelton, I suspect the reasons behind the prediction of more commercials with incest is that apparently one of the most popular categories for porn these days is "incest"...and well, sex sells, and if that's what people are going for, then advertising companies gonna do what they do.

I'm just kinda hoping that the Taster's Choice couple isn't revived with a new twist

posted by nubs at 2:27 PM on December 18, 2019


I never had a female sibling but would like to think no matter how "objectively" hot they were it wouldn't have plugged in my percolator...

"I think if your cousin is super-hot, you should be able to fuck one time." --Dave Attel
posted by rhizome at 5:57 PM on December 18, 2019


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