Everything is taller or shorter than the capybara.

December 9, 2021 4:25 PM

CapybaraFilter: Sandra Beasley's Unit of Measure.

Click on the play button to hear Beasley read it to you.
Capybaras previously.

posted by storybored (36 comments total)

Some things are as tall as a capybara, surely.
posted by sagc at 4:34 PM on December 9, 2021

Some things are as tall as a capybara, surely.

Capybaras are, I am pretty certain.
posted by Literaryhero at 4:40 PM on December 9, 2021 [11 favorites]

Is that a European or an African Capybara?
posted by dg at 4:50 PM on December 9, 2021 [2 favorites]

Capybarametric pressure?
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:05 PM on December 9, 2021 [3 favorites]

Here's a story: a few decades back, here in San Diego, there was this panic: A GIANT RAT! Sighted near Miramar NAS (now Miramar MCNAS). So many yuck-yuck-yucks by the local newsjockeys. "Oooh, the giant rat!" Like it was Bigfoot, amirite!

But then a hiker caught a photo of the creature: a capybara lost in the shrub land around Miramar. I don't recall if the origin of the creature was ever determined (lost by the Wild Animal Park? I don't know).

But, ever since, I have felt a fondness for the biggest hamster in the Western Hemisphere.
posted by SPrintF at 5:17 PM on December 9, 2021 [4 favorites]

I believe it is more correctly capys bara.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:21 PM on December 9, 2021 [1 favorite]

Only when it involves cyclopean architecture with a nacreous sheen designed to a non-Euclidian geometry.
posted by y2karl at 5:30 PM on December 9, 2021 [2 favorites]

A few years back some capybaras escaped into High Park from a zoo in Toronto. I was kind of rooting for them, hoping they'd evade recapture, establish themselves and give the raccoons a run for their money.

Yeah, probably not ecologically sound for both the capies and the city, but, giant cute rodents! Eventually they were all rounded up, though.
posted by Clever User Name at 5:49 PM on December 9, 2021 [1 favorite]

I believe it is more correctly capys bara.

I've always used capybarae, but I could be wrong.
posted by Umami Dearest at 6:29 PM on December 9, 2021

Capybarum, isn't it? Just sounds natural.

Then again, I might be confusing the plural with the formal title of the High Court of the Capybara, which rules our land with a just, if fuzzy, countenance.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:33 PM on December 9, 2021

capybarii
posted by lalochezia at 6:55 PM on December 9, 2021

I wonder if guinea pigs ever ride on the backs of capybara. That would be so cute (but probably not be a good enough place to hide).
posted by blueberry monster at 7:05 PM on December 9, 2021 [1 favorite]

" ... made the Kessel Run in less than 12 capybaras".
posted by Chitownfats at 7:29 PM on December 9, 2021

Guinea pig riding a capybara
posted by mbrubeck at 7:56 PM on December 9, 2021 [4 favorites]

A charming poem. Thanks storybored!
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 8:47 PM on December 9, 2021 [2 favorites]

I hear a capybara is about the size of a breadbox.
posted by hippybear at 8:52 PM on December 9, 2021 [1 favorite]

Surely you mean 'a breadbox is about the size of a capybara'?
posted by dg at 9:02 PM on December 9, 2021

A breadbara is the size of a capybox
posted by hippybear at 9:04 PM on December 9, 2021 [2 favorites]

which is also an excellent sockpuppet name, if anyone is in the market
posted by hippybear at 9:05 PM on December 9, 2021

The market is small compared to the number of watermelons a capybara would want to munch on this year.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 9:34 PM on December 9, 2021

Metafilter: a just, if fuzzy, countenance.
posted by storybored at 9:35 PM on December 9, 2021 [4 favorites]

...
capybarae
capybararum
capybaris
capybaris
capybaris

CAPYBARARUM
posted by away for regrooving at 9:56 PM on December 9, 2021

Little know fact that capybara is the plural.

Capybarum is the singular.
posted by nat at 11:47 PM on December 9, 2021

Animals sitting on capybaras.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 1:20 AM on December 10, 2021 [2 favorites]

There appears to be no collective noun for capybaras. At least as of 2018, though the author does suggest a mediation of capybaras.
posted by bonehead at 5:20 AM on December 10, 2021

We have no capybaras in Seattle but we do have Nutria, which are about the same size and evidently far more destructive.
posted by y2karl at 7:42 AM on December 10, 2021

"One day, capybara, the sun will set on my time here."
Well that takes care of my headstone!
posted by winesong at 8:01 AM on December 10, 2021

" the author does suggest a mediation of capybaras."
How about "a fuzzy of capybaras"?
posted by storybored at 10:19 AM on December 10, 2021

A friendship of capybaras.
posted by jeather at 11:36 AM on December 10, 2021

Guinea pig riding a capybara...

With no helmet at that.
posted by y2karl at 3:12 PM on December 10, 2021

Capybara have an aura of indestructible calm around them. Capybara and tardigrades. They will outlive us, and I’m good with that. Thanks for the poem. I sent it to my 14-yr old, who loves capybara.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 4:05 PM on December 10, 2021

such good coconut doggos
posted by scruss at 5:23 PM on December 10, 2021

We have no capybaras in Seattle but we do have Nutria, which are about the same size and evidently far more destructive.

Now I'm imagining herds of 120-pound capybara-size nutria running amok in Seattle. I could see how they might be destructive.
posted by Umami Dearest at 6:55 PM on December 10, 2021

There appears to be no collective noun for capybaras

I'd recommend a "chorus of capybaras," since they make such nice sounds when they sing together. A "choir of capybaras" would also work.
posted by Umami Dearest at 7:07 PM on December 10, 2021

I'd think a smile of capybaras would be appropriate.
posted by hippybear at 9:03 PM on December 10, 2021

Now I'm imagining herds of 120-pound capybara-size nutria running amok in Seattle.

I stand corrected. Nutria are more beaver sized.
posted by y2karl at 11:10 AM on December 11, 2021