No Fee For the Free Thread, Fred

July 25, 2022 2:43 AM

Upon a slitted sheet I sit. Why? I don't know! I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, so here we are. Not everything in life makes sense, man. (This thread may be understood through tough thorough thought, though.)

Oh, and by the way, it's free.

posted by taz (101 comments total)

Slit skirts, Jeanie never wears those slit skirts
I don't ever wear no ripped shirts
Can't pretend that growing older never hurts.
posted by Bee'sWing at 3:04 AM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

Best quote I've heard about economics and recessions this weekend (from the always informative and deeply responsible On The Media):

"Economist Paul Samuelson famously quipped that the stock market had predicted nine out of the last five economic recessions."
posted by abulafa at 3:08 AM on July 25, 2022 [14 favorites]

Slitted sheets beat shitted sleets, is all I'm saying.
posted by flabdablet at 3:46 AM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

Though all I got through tough thorough thought was hiccoughs and a cough.
posted by flabdablet at 4:45 AM on July 25, 2022

Some sweet synchronicity from my Twitter feed just now: How far The Proclaimers were prepared to walk ¹. When he finally gets there and finds out it's closed.

Also, thematically unsynchronous, but a little something for anyone suffering from the Mondays. This kid's got you. Not me, though. Saturday is actually my Monday, so today is my hump day. But I know better than to hope for hump day messages from Twitter.
posted by taz at 5:11 AM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

Colonoscopy tomorrow morning. Liquid diet from now until tomorrow afternoon. How hangry will I get?
posted by Foosnark at 5:28 AM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

Will your doc let you drink (non-red) Ensure Clear or Boost Breeze? They can do wonder for the hangers.
posted by obfuscation at 5:47 AM on July 25, 2022

I’m in the midst of a streak in which I’m dreaming of people in my life who are now deceased. Different people each time. It’s starting to freak me out.
posted by MorgansAmoebas at 5:53 AM on July 25, 2022 [5 favorites]

My daughter has a bad toothache and can't see the dentist before Wednesday, but she still managed to eat my lunch: it was so soft and so flavorful, mum
I know. But still I am thinking of what soup I can make for her tonight. Maybe avgolemono? Maybe I won't do anything because my dog was sick most of last night, and I have had 2x2 hours of sleep in all. And she is an adult chef.
posted by mumimor at 5:54 AM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

I've been having the opposite streak where in my dreams people who are deceased now aren't. It started during covid when I'd have a nightmare about getting someone in bad health to the hospital or doctor's office without risking infection, and then I'd wake up and realize to my perverse relief that they've been gone for years.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 6:00 AM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

I have verbally accepted a promotion to our Electronic Medical Records team! (Epic, for those in the know.)

I could put a wall of text about the process and a second wall of text about all the positive implications of the promotion.

I'll just leave it as I and my entire family are very, very excited.
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 6:05 AM on July 25, 2022 [24 favorites]

Congrats on the new gig!
posted by jquinby at 6:18 AM on July 25, 2022

Have some English pronunciation silliness
posted by rmd1023 at 6:18 AM on July 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

Cat Tax. The grey one is Dante, the black one Lina, they're both newly arrived, sweet, friendly and like cuddles.
posted by signal at 6:33 AM on July 25, 2022 [17 favorites]

Colonoscopy tomorrow morning. Liquid diet from now until tomorrow afternoon. How hangry will I get?

In the same boat; I'm looking forward to broth for dinner.
posted by nubs at 7:29 AM on July 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

Visiting my childhood home, took the bike on 9 mile trail to the University where I'm enjoying a chocolate croissant and a pour-over. Life is good today.
posted by pepcorn at 7:41 AM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

signal, so cute!

Congrats, a non mouse!

In my dreams last night, a pet who died more than a decade ago was stuck in a chair and wouldn't get down. I have always had dreams that dead people/animals are now alive so this is not that notable unless it turns out to be a symptom of a new pandemic.
posted by joannemerriam at 7:50 AM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

One of my mystery snail clutches finally hatched. I'm so proud. They are so tiny, so numerous.
posted by wellifyouinsist at 7:55 AM on July 25, 2022 [7 favorites]

Liquid diet from now until tomorrow afternoon. How hangry will I get?

Heh. Toronto had oppressive heat Saturday, a day when I volunteered and led three tours (and walked ~20,000 steps). I have learned that I cannot drink lots of water while doing tours lest I have to dart off to a bathroom on short notice with a bunch of people trailing along in my wake. I thus freeze a couple of plastic bottles of H2O overnight and sip a bit now and again as they melt.

After my third tour on Saturday, released from my custodianship of a bunch of people, I finally slaked my thirst. The two bottles on me were 600 ml each; I necked these, refilled them at a fountain and emptied them again. I hit a grocery store and bought a litre of milk. Polished off in minutes. I then headed back down toward the lakeshore and got a meal, along with a 600 ml bottle of iced tea.

Back to Union Station, refilled my two bottles of water again, drank those on the train. Got home, drank the pitcher of water that was in the fridge... all told in the four hours or so post-tours I drank nine litres of liquid. I am like a sponge. I wonder how dehydrated I get doing these tours in the quest to avoid having to deal with a full bladder.

It occurred to me today: if nothing else, nine litres of water weighs about seventeen pounds. Huh.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:00 AM on July 25, 2022

They are so tiny, so numerous.

Hey, I was saving those for breakfast! :(
posted by taz at 8:02 AM on July 25, 2022 [9 favorites]

No cat, no snail, mystery pet, brown, makes large (15-20cm) tunnels in garden and near foundation, only actually saw once, didn't pet, seems a bit too brown to be a rat but in that general size. Cute, makes neighbors super paranoid, so win. ;-)

Last years rabbit invasion seems way down.
posted by sammyo at 8:03 AM on July 25, 2022

One of my PTSD symptoms are nightmares, and right now I have them every night. In them, the past and the present are always mixed in weird ways. My long dead grandparents are interacting with my very live dog. Or pets from an other time participate in current affairs.
I don't see the deceased as a problem in my dreams, almost contrariwise: they are always there to protect me and help me. It's all the other stuff. My dreams resemble Piranesi's Carceri,, and I only recently learnt that they were actually images of fever dreams.
posted by mumimor at 8:28 AM on July 25, 2022 [5 favorites]

I had (have I guess, but muuuuuch more infrequently) a reoccurring dream about my mom who passed over a decade ago. Usually it's that she's in her room far away in a large confusing house and I'm lost, or I moved and I forgot that she was just living in our old town and I just need to visit, or that she's in the hospital and I just keep forgetting to go visit her... So those were quite potent and very much not mysterious, guilty daughter dreams. Luckily my reoccurring dreams now are very obviously tied to stress and have a lot less to do with my death and way more to do with finding out I'm enrolled in a class I never attended and grades are due.
posted by wellifyouinsist at 8:36 AM on July 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

i was right last week that my translation trial didn't go well, and so now i'm out of the running for that job. which i wasn't expecting to get anyway - i applied because there was no harm in doing so - but once i started advancing through the process i started to let myself hope, so now i get to deal with being disappointed. alas.

at my current job i actually got to do the job i was hired for back before japan closed down completely: i've done all the interpretation/translation for the last couple of days as our main translator is at home taking care of sick kids. when both of us are at work i do the history introduction talk and then i run around doing background stuff while she does the interpreting. then after the outdoors part i finish up the photo session with the customers while she and the rest of the staff go inside for a quick water break. but the last couple days i've been doing the introduction talk, all the interpreting, and on the first day, i did the photos as well. which meant i didn't get a water break in at all. today i started to feel sick while we were outdoors, and ended up having to really push for somebody else to take the last photos so i could have a bit of a break and get out of the sun for a couple of minutes. but i already had a massive headache and even though i was given a rehydration drink it didn't seem to help. i felt sick through the rest of the work day and all the way home, where i crashed and slept for something like five hours.
posted by emmling at 8:40 AM on July 25, 2022 [5 favorites]

I sometimes dream about my father, who passed away in 1996. In one particularly memorable one, he had actually come back from the dead, like a zombie, and didn't really know who he was and behaved very differently than he ever did in life. It was unsettling even after I woke up.
posted by briank at 8:42 AM on July 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

I very much identify with the kid in taz's link today. As happens occasionally I didn't get much good solid sleep last night, and the next day is never a good one.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:56 AM on July 25, 2022

Will your doc let you drink (non-red) Ensure Clear or Boost Breeze? They can do wonder for the hangers.

I hadn't heard of those. I bet they'd be fine!
posted by Foosnark at 8:59 AM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

I didn't walk 500 miles nor 500 more, but yesterday afternoon I did set out on a pleasant barefoot walk on a sunny winter's day and didn't get home until quite late at night by which time I was cold enough that my fingers didn't work any more and I'd done 20+km.

Feet held up pretty well. There's a bit of glass or a thorn or something in one of them but it feels small enough that it will work its own way out in a week or so.

Definitely had its moments. I've not done a barefoot night walk as long as that before and I've pulled up fairly stiff and sore but the sky was completely clear, there was no moon, and the Milky Way was magnificent.

Sure makes a change from this time last year, when I was heavy enough that a walk down to the shops and back (<1km) would have involved a longer recovery period than this one looks like it's going to.

My severe fasting regimen seems to have stalled, but my excellent new GP has just hooked me up with a prescription for liraglutide. It's not supposed to kick in properly until I've ramped up to full dose in another four weeks, but I'm already feeling definite signs of appetite suppression on it so I expect the fasting will come easier again quite soon.
posted by flabdablet at 9:00 AM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

Oh, and if anybody knows of questions they think it would be useful for me to ask the surgeon I'm having my initial consult with tomorrow to get something done about a gall bladder containing "calculi measuring 18 x 20mm at the body/fundus" per the ultrasound report, please do share.
posted by flabdablet at 9:04 AM on July 25, 2022

Teaching a summer school course for credit recovery - because students are enrolled in the course, they have to take the state exam. So they had us all in another wing of the building for the exam, the old wing with no central air, and one window AC unit that only cooled the back row of desks in a straight line. It was brutally hot and since kids can't exit the exam until everyone is done, there was a lot of "tell me who isn't finished yet??" (Of course I won't; everyone gets the full time) and so on until the test was over.

Not as bad as working outside in the heat (my husband is doing that all summer), but man this heat wave cannot end soon enough. I am pregnant so it felt extra hot in that room today.
posted by subdee at 9:21 AM on July 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

I'm a couple of sleeps away from a much-delayed family trip and I'll be seeing aunts and uncles and cousins and friends from childhood, and I will pack the cremated remains of my parents to share with the Atlantic Ocean. Also, some cremated remains of a beloved dog who outlived them both but passed away in January. So I'm packing them away tonight, because there is no way I'm exceeding the one item of carry-on with the way the airlines are sending luggage hither and yon.
posted by elkevelvet at 9:23 AM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

The tough coughs as he ploughs the dough. He's not a pheasant plucker but a pheasant plucker's mate.
Reasonable weather in this neck of the woods, but unreasonable responses to various pandemics that continue to spread. I wonder if I had a smallpox vaccine as a child if that will help against monkeypox.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 9:26 AM on July 25, 2022

So that's 3 of us having colonoscopies tomorrow. Huh, seems like an older person version of the birthday problem
posted by drewbage1847 at 9:49 AM on July 25, 2022 [6 favorites]

ah, the classic Three-Body Problem
posted by elkevelvet at 10:12 AM on July 25, 2022 [10 favorites]

I found what appears so far to be an excellent and pertinent biography of Tina Modotti. Like almost everyone else, I only knew her as a model in a photograph by Edward Weston, and I wonder if she as been as completely elided from his Daybooks as Steinbeck's wife was from The Log from the Sea of Cortez.
I can't immediately lay hands on my copies of the Daybooks to find out.
posted by the Real Dan at 10:18 AM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

I wonder if I had a smallpox vaccine as a child if that will help against monkeypox.

It should help! They are very similar viruses.
posted by Bee'sWing at 10:56 AM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

that's 3 of us having colonoscopies tomorrow

things are looking up
posted by flabdablet at 11:06 AM on July 25, 2022 [5 favorites]

ah, the classic Three-Body Problem

Imagine a perfectly spherical, frictionless colon.
posted by loquacious at 11:12 AM on July 25, 2022 [8 favorites]

In uniform?
posted by flabdablet at 11:15 AM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

flabdablet: My guess would be in a hospital gown.
posted by QuakerMel at 11:22 AM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

Hunh! Must be a month for depressing or weird dreams. I woke up having dreamed of a pivotal point in my life that would have changed everything, if I only had acted on what I really wanted to do. There would have been so much less abuse and sadness in my life. Probably would have been a completely different person. My abusive maternal aunt I lived with after my parents died was haranguing me again about being deliberately bad and disruptive and just like my worthless father. She accused me of not wanting to be with her and ask if I wanted to go live with my paternal Nana. Nana wanted me. I desperately wanted to be with her. "Do you? Is that what you're after?" I hesitated, afraid it was a trick, that I would really be excoriated. And I muttered, "No." I so wish I had defied her and said yes, if only to throw her often-voiced 'Christian charity' back in her face. If it was a trick, I could still have run away, repeatedly if necessary. Eventually I think I could have prevailed, with my uncles and Nana on my side. But I was a cowed pre-teen, not defiant or brave. I always had had a small regret, but I woke up knowing explicitly how many things it would have changed and really feeling what an impact it could have had. Eh, it's hell to get older and have regrets. I have never been defiant and brave. I went down the easiest path all my life, and was agreeable, rather than fighting or preserving. I've been working on putting that feeling away, but all the comments on dreams reminded me. *le sigh*
I've talked about it, and now it's time to let it go.
posted by BlueHorse at 11:39 AM on July 25, 2022 [8 favorites]

So that's 3 of us having colonoscopies tomorrow

To my fellow members of the July 26 colonoscopy club: Bottom's up & I hope that everything comes out clean in the end.
posted by nubs at 11:50 AM on July 25, 2022 [7 favorites]

I still have to schedule my colonoscopy so thank you all for reminding me.

On another note, today is my birthday and I may or may not have Covid (two positive antigen tests, one negative PCR. Go figure.). I feel ok, but on the doctor's advice, am isolating until tomorrow, so I'm catching up on horror movies today.
posted by holborne at 12:01 PM on July 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

Happy Birthday holborne!!!
posted by mumimor at 12:10 PM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

I had two negative home tests last week which led me to going to work the entire time while my positive PCR was taking way too long to process. This week I’m already on a scheduled vacation which is turning out to be mostly sitting/lying on the couch too tired to do much of anything else. This fatigue is some real shit.
posted by obfuscation at 12:15 PM on July 25, 2022

You guys, I'm getting a giant bear painted on my garage! This is both a spontaneous and very much non-spontaneous decision, as I've had a sticker with this piece of art for years that I love, from well before the artist got into mural painting. And then our garage got tagged this summer and the big box hardware store refused to rent us a pressure washer for pressure washing brick (apparently there's a really high risk of damaging the mortar between brick), so this weekend I randomly thought hmm, what if I had a giant bear there instead of the world's laziest, my-can-of-black-spraypaint-is-dying-but-let's-hit-one-more-wall graffiti? And turns out, not only CAN I have a giant bear on my wall, but I can have a giant bear on my wall basically immediately because the artist also loves that bear and has been wanting to revisit it in large format for a long time. So now we will be the GIANT BEAR HOUSE. I'm texting everyone I know in the neighborhood with small kids to come see the giant bear go up, because obviously.
posted by deludingmyself at 12:48 PM on July 25, 2022 [20 favorites]

I spent the last week traveling, and an astonishing amount of that week actually in transit for what should have been a very straightforward trip. 5 broken planes (2 cancelled flights, 2 repaired, 1 declared able to fly without repair), a weather delay, a headcount discrepancy delay, an uneven load delay, luggage sent to a different terminal without notice, and finally a broken train track that the transit agency decided to solve by replacing a ten car subway with one small city bus circling between stations three stops apart. (Eventually refreshing the lyft app found a driver and I made it home.) If you are superstitious, I'd avoid traveling with me in the future. I love airports. I don't love spending hours in crowded airports during a COVID surge when the restaurants are closed and the vending machines are empty and all the wall plugs are taken. But, I'm still testing negative at the moment.

It was really fun to see colleagues I haven't seen in person in more than 3 years, and to actually be in an unfamiliar place again. I haven't been lost in a long time, geographically at least. And, I did randomly stumble across a choreographed dance performance before a thousand person audience in a museum fountain.
posted by eotvos at 1:17 PM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

re: vivid dreams, I once came to visit a good friend just in time to console him, he'd awakened from a dream of having a daughter he lost in birth and was overwhelmed with grief, just starting to recover from sobbing in his dream, just coming back to his waking mind. That changed me, I can't imagine what it did to him at the time.. he was not a father (and never had been).. I think how we grew apart and he's a father of two kids since about 5 years ago now.

dreams are powerful
posted by elkevelvet at 2:33 PM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

When I was a kid, watching mystery snail eggs hatch was a wonderful thing.

Now I'm old enough to give colonoscopy advice. First, make chicken stock from scratch. Eat the chicken before your fast, but then strain your broth through a fine sieve and enjoy it on the first night- you will not be hangry. The next day for me is Gatorade, alas, but also a good quality green tea and a miso broth. [I appreciate knowing about Boost Breeze- that will replace the Gatorade! My next colonoscopy will be soon.]
posted by acrasis at 2:37 PM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

PS- Younger people, please do not delay your first colonoscopy. I got mine at 50 on the dot and it saved my life.
posted by acrasis at 2:39 PM on July 25, 2022 [4 favorites]

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posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:40 PM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

I think those clear drinks you are talking about may have enough protein in them, they make poop. Check with the doc's office about them before you potentially disrupt your fast.
posted by Oyéah at 2:59 PM on July 25, 2022

@Oyèah, my prep instructions specifically call out the Boost Breeze for the clear diet day.
posted by drewbage1847 at 3:04 PM on July 25, 2022

I am supposed to make an appointment for a colonoscopy, so I am with you all in spirit.

Meanwhile, I have somehow managed to lose my car key. I do not have a spare, which is about the sort of forward-thinking one expects of an academic.
posted by thomas j wise at 3:42 PM on July 25, 2022

Yeah, they’re pretty standard part of the colonoscopy instructions for docs who want their patients not to be miserable. They explicitly comply with “clear liquid diet” guidelines.

(I strongly recommend you drink them ice cold and/or mixed with another beverage like juice or iced tea. They’re not… great.)
posted by obfuscation at 3:53 PM on July 25, 2022

IM WAITING TIL CHRISTMAS.
posted by clavdivs at 5:02 PM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

My recurring dream is me sitting in the backseat of my car trying to drive it. Of course, I fail miserably but never seem to crash.
posted by kathrynm at 5:09 PM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

Yeah, they’re pretty standard part of the colonoscopy instructions for docs who want their patients not to be miserable.

I guess I have one of the sadistic ones. But I managed okay so far on just sugar free lime Jello, apple juice and white cranberry juice.

I just chugged glass #5 of (generic version of) Nulytely though. It's definitely got what plants crave (and I don't). I don't think I'm going to want anything lemon-lime flavored for several weeks after this.
posted by Foosnark at 5:09 PM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

My recurring dream is me sitting in the backseat of my car trying to drive it. Of course, I fail miserably but never seem to crash.

In my own recurring dream I'm in the driver's seat, but can barely reach the brake (although I can apparently reach the accelerator just fine). Like kathrynm I don't crash either, somehow, but it's frightening.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:45 PM on July 25, 2022

Goddamn. A close friend who attended the same conference I just got back from yesterday tested positive for COVID for the second time in two months. She's the most careful person I know: four shots, always wearing very good masks indoors, doesn't breath when removing the mask to drink, drove a long way specifically to avoid planes. There is literally nothing short of avoiding buildings altogether or wearing scuba gear that would be an improvement. Despite having been within a meter of her most of the time and engaging in a much riskier superset of her exposure - spending tens of hours in planes and airports, eating meals with large groups of people, unmasking when speaking or chairing sessions, spending time in a crowd at a music festival - I'm still testing negative. I'm kind of surprised.

Wear a mask. Demand that your city government to be smarter than rocks. I'm getting tired of trying to cheer up friends in quarantine. I'm getting tired of telling people I hope their lingering symptoms will fade with time.
posted by eotvos at 5:45 PM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

Having so far avoided contracting the plague, mostly due to being anti-social and having worked from home for almost the entire pandemic, I'm heading into the combined epicentre of contagion and perpetual airport chaos fuckery otherwise known as Sydney tomorrow for the rest of the week. Wish me luck.
posted by dg at 5:49 PM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

I was a cowed pre-teen, not defiant or brave

And you exercised that cowed pre-teen's best available judgement and did what that cowed pre-teen saw as necessary in the moment to avoid further abuse that that cowed pre-teen had been systematically taught good reason to fear.

When kids are in circumstances where they're dependent on their abusers for their essential life needs, they do what it takes to survive.

Your life almost certainly would have been less hard had you not been raised by an abuser, but the blame for that needs to be fully sheeted home to the abuser, not to the cowed pre-teen they should have been nurturing instead of abusing.

Whenever you find yourself feeling regret for acting as you did at what really only seem to be critical choice points in hindsight, give that cowed pre-teen all the credit they deserve for having made it possible for you still to to be around to have those feelings.

And good on you for risking the derision or indifference that too often follows when people open up about this stuff. That takes guts.
posted by flabdablet at 6:14 PM on July 25, 2022 [6 favorites]

Bluehorse, I don't know if it helps, but I would be very surprised if your Aunt asked that question of you in good faith, and no matter what you answered, she would not have honoured your choice if it meant giving you agency and allowing you to evade her control.

Whatever you answered, she would very likely have manipulated the situation to have the same outcome as it did.
That choice you seemed to have was most likely an illusion, and a way for her to make you feel responsible for the abuse that was, in fact, completely her doing.

kathrynm I have those backseat driving dreams too!

My good news is that my sister's Maine Coon cat Oscar, aka Drogman, doesn't have cancer. He's less than a year old and had a growth in his mouth. He's an amazing creature. Like an enormous, goofy, fluffy dragon.

In that picture he's in a cage because he managed to injure his knee, and isn't supposed to move around too much.

He's quite amazing. Purr machine.
posted by Zumbador at 8:44 PM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

I believe Oscar is considering your viability as his next meal.
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 9:50 PM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

Oscar is lovely. I would not want to get on the wrong side of him, however. I can see the dragon.
posted by BlueHorse at 9:56 PM on July 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

Oscar is NOT HAPPY about another vet visit…

Not really happy about you taking his picture either.
posted by Windopaene at 10:45 PM on July 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

I had freaky dreams during the early part of the pandemic. Being in hotels and tourist spots with lots of people, where I would freak out and say to myself, “I’ve got to get out of this place”.

Have also had many driving dreams, where I will be backing out of a parking space, and can’t get out of reverse, and start heading into another parked car. Or driving at night, hitting a curve, not being able to adjust, and slowly heading over the edge. Or the really weird one I had a couple of nights ago, where I was sort of hanging out of the open driver car door while Ms. Window was maneuvering the car around in a parking field, like an overflow lot at a concert, and then somehow, (the door changed to opening from the front, instead of the back), got too close, and completely sheared off the door. I was freaking out, and then realized I was dreaming, and could just wake up, which I did.

Dreams are bizarre.
posted by Windopaene at 10:56 PM on July 25, 2022

My driving dreams are usually "goddamit I can't find the exit" which is not that far from actual driving, at least in TX.

I know I've woken up with some weird dreams lately but I almost never remember them.

Today I got tired of my apartment and quarantine and ate a fast food dinner in a parking lot that looked towards the mountains. I'm still not over having mountains to look at. But you have to be in the right spot to get a decent view.
posted by emjaybee at 11:17 PM on July 25, 2022

My driving dreams often involve bridges and causeways during a storm, or which dip underwater and/or which have unreasonable angles and cause the vehicle to go flying.

There's also a road trip caravan dream (often involving a paper road map) but that one's both less freaky and less common.
posted by Foosnark at 3:11 AM on July 26, 2022

Speaking of slitted sheets, would love all your best tongue-twisters.

Current fave: "I'm not the pheasant plucker; I'm the pheasant plucker's son. I'm only plucking pheasant til the pheasant plucker comes"
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 3:32 AM on July 26, 2022 [1 favorite]

A close friend who attended the same conference I just got back from yesterday tested positive for COVID for the second time in two months.

I have contracted COVID myself. I traveled to Denver this past Thursday. I wore my mask and was as careful as I could be, but 90%+ of travelers weren't masking, flight attendants weren't masking, etc.

I am triple vaccinated, and fortunately my symptoms seem to just be "bad cold".

People just don't care anymore.
posted by Fleebnork at 4:31 AM on July 26, 2022 [1 favorite]

I_Love_Bananas, I learned that one ages ago as "I'm not the fig plucker or the fig plucker's sone, but I'll pluck figs 'til the fig plucker comes."

My current favorite (though not that difficult in my opinion) is "Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager managing an imaginary menagerie."
posted by taz at 4:31 AM on July 26, 2022

(I like it that one is instructed to imagine an imaginary menagerie manager, because if you are imagining that person, they are already imaginary ... but the difference is you are imagining them as a real menagerie manager, which you are not to do. You must imagine them as imaginary. Likewise, the menagerie.)
posted by taz at 4:35 AM on July 26, 2022 [1 favorite]

All the sheets are brown
And the pheasants plucked
The guy who walked for miles
Kneels 'cause he's out of luck.
A pet was dead so long
In a chair is stuck
Colonoscopic dreaming
At SYD, a chaos fuck
posted by othrechaz at 4:52 AM on July 26, 2022 [3 favorites]

I give you two Danish tongue twisters :
Får får får? Nej får får ikke får, får får lam
And
Bispens gipsgebis
They are both completely child safe, I never grew old enough to learn the racy ones.
posted by mumimor at 5:37 AM on July 26, 2022

So, no Han plukker frugt med en brugt frugtplukker?
posted by taz at 6:26 AM on July 26, 2022 [1 favorite]

Welp, my kiddo is officially a causality of middle school toxicity - he is quitting sport A (which he has played for years and loved) and trying sport B instead, as the team members of sport A have relentlessly harassed him in conditioning sessions to the point that he takes no joy in playing. I'm not looking forward to this year.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 6:43 AM on July 26, 2022 [1 favorite]

Good luck to the colonoscopists. I had my colon removed earlier this year (+rectum, anus) so that’s one thing I’ll never have to worry about again. I also, of course, never give a shit any more.
posted by Phanx at 7:28 AM on July 26, 2022 [9 favorites]

When I was a kid, my mom was extremely excited about the sheets poem. Mairzy Doats was another favorite. I was never really excited by either, but I'm glad it makes people smile.
posted by eotvos at 8:01 AM on July 26, 2022 [1 favorite]

(I like it that one is instructed to imagine an imaginary menagerie manager, because if you are imagining that person, they are already imaginary ... but the difference is you are imagining them as a real menagerie manager, which you are not to do. You must imagine them as imaginary. Likewise, the menagerie.)

And on top of that, I always took it to mean that the "imaginary menagerie" that this imaginary manager was managing was one that said manager was imagining in their own mind. (insert Inception joke here)
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:26 AM on July 26, 2022 [1 favorite]

Well. We had storms in the area this morning, and the doctor can't make it in.

So I did all the unpleasant bowel prep for nothing :( and have to do it again :( :( :(
posted by Foosnark at 9:20 AM on July 26, 2022 [3 favorites]

STL area?? Those rain totals are WILD.

I’m so sorry you had to do the prep for naught. :(
posted by obfuscation at 9:41 AM on July 26, 2022

I'm ready to murder a cheeseburger, y'all.

Or maybe a salad with nuts.

Or a rice cake.

Anything
posted by drewbage1847 at 10:03 AM on July 26, 2022 [1 favorite]

This video of Ted Cruz with rock star shit going on behind him onstage is...quite something.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:03 AM on July 26, 2022 [3 favorites]

So I did all the unpleasant bowel prep for nothing :( and have to do it again :( :( :(

That’s been my fear all morning Foosnark, the clinic cancelling…I’m sorry it happened to you.
posted by nubs at 10:56 AM on July 26, 2022

I got lucky. My doc just called to move up my appointment.

That’s 30 minutes closer to food. Any food.

(And seriously, Foosnark, I think I’d cry and require way more time before the second round
posted by drewbage1847 at 11:20 AM on July 26, 2022 [1 favorite]

I guess I was "lucky", in a way - the excessive pre-prep nonsense for my colonoscopy a few years ago got me feeling cruddy enough that I wasn't remotely hungry. So much so that I still didn't feel hungry for hours afterward.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:47 AM on July 26, 2022 [1 favorite]

I didn't make it.
posted by biogeo at 8:56 PM on July 26, 2022 [7 favorites]

Hugs, biogeo.
posted by mumimor at 10:29 PM on July 26, 2022 [1 favorite]

I’m so sorry.
posted by obfuscation at 4:03 AM on July 27, 2022 [1 favorite]

I'm so sorry biogeo. Hugs to you.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 4:44 AM on July 27, 2022 [1 favorite]

biogeo: I'm very sorry.
posted by rmd1023 at 7:31 AM on July 27, 2022 [1 favorite]

Sorry to hear that, biogeo. Hugs.

In colonoscopy news, I told the nurse to be gentle with me as it was my first time. My learning is that the preparation is worse than the procedure itself. Still feeling the calorie deficit.
posted by nubs at 9:22 AM on July 27, 2022 [3 favorites]

yes it is.
posted by drewbage1847 at 10:18 AM on July 27, 2022

My daughter has just gone into labour. I want to run over there, but don't want to add to the general confusion...
posted by mumimor at 12:53 PM on July 27, 2022 [3 favorites]

Big baby boy has arrived! He is wonderful, of course, and so is his mum. I'm so proud of her, it all went so fast that there wasn't time for the epidural. But she was just happy though and through.
posted by mumimor at 6:24 AM on July 28, 2022 [8 favorites]

Congratulations mumimor! That's amazing.
posted by Zumbador at 6:50 AM on July 28, 2022 [1 favorite]

Congratulations, mumimor!
posted by biogeo at 7:42 AM on July 28, 2022 [1 favorite]

Had a colonoscopy (plus stomach scope) in January because of anemia. My anemia hasn't resolved so I'm to have a capsule endoscopy soon to check out my small intestine. I'm more than a little curious about how I'm going to retrieve that capsule.

In other news, James Thurber was my favorite writer once but I hadn't read any in decades. So this week I read The Owl in the Attic and Other Perplexities and it is absolutely delightful but sadly long out of print.
posted by neuron at 1:28 PM on July 28, 2022 [1 favorite]

As is my occasional wont (a word which, curiously, autocorrect does not like) in these threads, music recommendations. All links to Bandcamp.

Rubber Oh - Strange Craft. A side project from noise rock behemoths Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs and - always good for a side project - nothing like the mothership. Instead, we get delightful psych-pop with intriguing constraints (two bass guitars, no cymbal washes, single notes only on guitar). Infectious, fun and slightly daft.

Marconi Union - Signals. Always good to find a quality ambient act and, on the strength of this, I'm now exploring their back catalogue

Kuunatic - Gate of Klüna. "Tribal psych," apparently, which sounded like bullshit until I listened. Intriguingly odd with quasi-ritual drumming, traditional Japanese instruments, insistent bass and cosmic synths.
posted by deeker at 1:04 PM on July 29, 2022

We had a petting zoo party at my work for someone's retirement. It was adorable.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:31 PM on July 29, 2022 [3 favorites]