If you think this thread is bad now, wait 'til I get through with it
August 15, 2022 2:41 AM   Subscribe

Attention, please! There will be absolutely no smoking, dirty joking, or whistling in this thread. And furthermore, if you should choose to chew, you'll be pursued.

Welcome to Freedonia, friends; If any form of pleasure is exhibited, report to me and it will be prohibited. I'll put my foot down, so shall it be — because this is the thread of the free!

[A complete list of laws for this administration may be found here]
posted by taz (122 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
If you challenge Death to a pillow fight, you had better be ready for the reaper cushions!
posted by DreamerFi at 2:48 AM on August 15, 2022 [41 favorites]


I dreamed that I'd eaten the world's largest marshmallow. Woke up and couldn't find my pillow.
posted by pipeski at 2:50 AM on August 15, 2022 [6 favorites]


Discovered Virginia "Frozen Face" O'Brien via this and thought I had a great topic for a MeFi post, but it was done in 2008.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 3:04 AM on August 15, 2022 [3 favorites]




oooooh, BAD pyramid termite. Off to the hoosegow w'ye.
posted by taz at 3:23 AM on August 15, 2022


(TheophileEscargot, 2008 was a looooong time ago! I think you should post it.)
posted by taz at 3:33 AM on August 15, 2022 [2 favorites]


There was a young man of Darjeeling,
Who got on the night bus to Ealing,
It said on the door,
"Don't spit on the floor",
So he stood up and spat on the ceiling.
- Spike Milligan.
posted by Paul Slade at 4:03 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


2008 was a looooong time ago! I think you should post it.

(Especially as it seems every link in the 2008 post is dead.)
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:05 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


There was a young man of Darjeeling,

The limerick packs humour anatomical
Into a format quite economical
But the good ones I’ve seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:07 AM on August 15, 2022 [18 favorites]


I'm having a wonderful time, but I'd rather be whistling in the dark.
posted by Peach at 4:49 AM on August 15, 2022 [4 favorites]


my favorite comment on that thread: "love the part when they whistle in the dark." Nevertheless, it's into the slammer with ye, peaches.
posted by taz at 5:10 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


This weekend I had my second-ever dream involving a toilet inside a refrigerator. A large refrigerator, to be sure; a tall domestic model with all the usual fridge storage areas & components, and enough room for a toilet where the lowest three or four shelves would normally be. Except my legs are long, and the other recurring component of the dream is that I can't quite shut the fridge door when I sit down inside to pee, because my knees are in the way.

I don't think it's just a body-telling-me-I-need-to-pee-in-the-night thing, because I inevitably do that a couple of times a night anyway. Frustrating that I've never had a recurring dream component in my life, and then when it finally happens the recurring component turns out to be refrigerator toilet.
posted by terretu at 5:28 AM on August 15, 2022 [25 favorites]


LOL I feel bad for you, terretu, but I'm laughing so much!
posted by taz at 5:31 AM on August 15, 2022 [3 favorites]


I made the mistake of getting into Leaf Blower Revolution yesterday. I think I prefer it over Cookie Clicker since there's no clicking, just mouse waggling until your squad of outdoor Roombas are capable of maintaining the full combo bonus on their own.
posted by Foosnark at 5:37 AM on August 15, 2022 [2 favorites]


I have been suffering from terrible cognitive dissonance over wanting to yell at people for being so judgmental.
posted by InkaLomax at 5:45 AM on August 15, 2022 [14 favorites]


You know who really has a frozen face? Gillian Anderson. Hers is the least expressive mug I’ve ever seen onscreen.
posted by scratch at 5:47 AM on August 15, 2022


Almost forgot:

Metafilter: always there, but you can become somewhat blind to all but their basic needs between periods of direct attention.

(Forgive me, I still think these are funny.)
posted by scratch at 5:50 AM on August 15, 2022 [6 favorites]


MetaFilter: Forgive me, I still think these are funny.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:51 AM on August 15, 2022 [14 favorites]


Hers is the least expressive mug I’ve ever seen onscreen.

Sit down, youngling, and I will tell you of Kevin Costner.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:58 AM on August 15, 2022 [9 favorites]


I made these lentil griddle cakes recommended by ananci for the first time last week and they were great! Highly recommend. I think I'll add some chickpea flour next time, and also be exploring savory/Indian spice options :)
posted by SaltySalticid at 5:59 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


Nothing but a clear liquid diet for me today. Later this afternoon begins the bottomless miralax and gatorade (any color but red) cocktail. Mefites of a certain age will likely know what my tomorrow brings.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:09 AM on August 15, 2022 [22 favorites]


Can I vent about something not really anything to do with this? My city is incredibly suburban and car-oriented as many cities are. It has a contingent of gen-z and younger millennials who want to literally shutdown miles of city roads to cars. They keep saying that Paris/Amsterdam/Milan can work without cars why can't we. I explain that those are medieval European cities that formed their urban core in the 1100s, not the 1920s. I'm all for separate bike lanes and more walking but they have sort of cosplay maps of the city if every other road was closed off to traffic.

I noticed, teens and older people using golf carts on existing hiking trails that cut through neighborhoods, or using golf carts on suburban side streets to get to the pool or local store. it turns out people aren't accustomed to Amsterdam style biking where you can do all your grocery shopping and carry your family on bikes but the idea of a golf cart is appealing for many reasons (health, disability, simply staying out of the elements), and is much easier transition for a lot of people. Plus all bike stores and most bicyclists here don't have commuter bikes, but carry or ride racing bikes.

So I got some support for looking into widening the trails and possibly having dedicated lanes for bikes, ebikes, scooters, and speed restricted electric golf carts. People who were really pro-car were for it! You know who the biggest people against it were? Bicycle people! They were adamant that the reason bikes weren't being used is because infrastructure wasn't there, that biking is healthier and it "misses the point of walkable cities." They're worse than the hardcore car people! There were people interested in the HOA meeting (I know) who would never have cared or approved of dedicated lanes because they simply don't like biking or walking. But bike people kept referring to them as mini-cars, and just making stuff up. I half expected, "2 wheels good, 4 wheels bad." Would I like people to do nothing but bike and walk? Sure but I think compromise and options is how things you know get done.
posted by geoff. at 6:17 AM on August 15, 2022 [4 favorites]


terretu that's one amazing dream.

For some reason it reminds me of a dream I had when I was little. I had flea bites (I really did, not just in the dream) and I wasn't allowed to scratch them. So I dreamed that I was waltzing with the prince from Cinderella, and he was scratching my flea bites for me.

I have a small bitter sweet victory. A few years ago I rescued some budgies from a very neglectful and cruel woman. She starved them and handled them roughly while talking baby talk at them.

Only one of the rescue budgies are still alive, the others died one by one of an infection they picked up as result of the stress of being so traumatised. The one that's left (I call her Norma Jean) has always been extremely afraid of me and I try not to talk to her in case it reminds her of her previous owner.

Norma Jean's bonded partner (Percy) died recently. He was a fierce little bird who always challenged me loudly.

As soon as Percy was out of the way, my oldest budgie, Zumbador (source of my username) , moved into his place. Up to now Zumbador was a socially inept loner who liked hanging out with his reflection. Now he and Norma Jean are inseparable. She could have chosen one of the much more hansome and younger birds, but they did have a chance in comparison with scraggy little Zumbador.

Zumbador feeds her and grooms her and cuddles up next to her to keep her warm. In the linked video you can see both of them close their eyes in sheer pleasure at one another's company.

It's just sad because Norma Jean is so fragile I'm not sure how much longer she will live.

She's also started flying to me and sitting on my head or hand. Today she even tried putting her head in my mouth to see if I have anything interesting to feed her with. I think it's a sort of budgie bonding behaviour? So after about 3 years she's starting to trust me.
posted by Zumbador at 6:19 AM on August 15, 2022 [28 favorites]


Absolutely going bananas because people keep dropping raisins around here where I'm trying to walk my dog. I had to make my poor pup throw up because she got one last week. I've found them on the ground twice since while we walked, once this morning, although luckily she didn't get near those. I bet we'd have found more if it wasn't that I only took her into the dog run this weekend for several days. I wish I could fund a PSA about not leaving raisins on the ground where they could kill dogs.

(To be fair, they are probably dropped by people who are disappointed by their existence, especially kids, which I understand.)
posted by Countess Elena at 6:20 AM on August 15, 2022


I'm pretty sure Clarence, the hawk who kinda thinks he's my roommate, and his lady friend are new parents, if the big nest in the top of the giant cedar tree outside my office window is any indication.

Clarence is both pretty charming and very helpful dealing with the occasional copperhead that gets between my deck and the pond.
posted by thivaia at 6:30 AM on August 15, 2022 [12 favorites]


My sister was back in hometown and so was an older cousin who's going to be there for a few weeks to take care of an aunt (his mother) while she recovers from knee surgery. But I sent her on a mission or to get him to do the mission. I do now have a copy of the picture of 13 year old me at space camp crammed into an airforce high altitude "space suit" that was probably still on the wall since 1983 right up there with my 1987 senior prom picture and probably a yearbook photo. Mission Accomplished! I has this on my big list of things that I was going to do in 2019 on a trip back home myself that got bad weather canceled over multiple attempts to make the grand get together for my nephew's graduation. And then put on nope over covid.

Still want to convert it from that HEIC apple thing and try to clean it up a bit before putting it up somewhere.
posted by zengargoyle at 6:46 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


Did something reasonably adultish: I actually took out and put up the tent that I used on RAGBRAI so that I could clean it and make sure that it was dry before I stored it, instead of just shoving it in a closet and then dreading taking it out the following year because I was sure that it was 40% fungus by now. I'm also starting to plan a longish bike ride next weekend. I can't trust the weather--none was forecasted for last night, but it started to rain literally the moment I stepped outside for an evening walk--but I'd like to get a couple of decent rides in this late summer and fall.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:59 AM on August 15, 2022 [4 favorites]


Zumbador was a socially inept loner who liked hanging out with his reflection.

I like this tale of budgies, but I don't think I would name a pet with my actual name or an online handle because of the troubled moment of self-knowledge writing a sentence like this might occasion.

I used to date someone who overfed her budgies, which resulted in what one could only call pudgy budgies. They seemed happy, but when on the wing the ballast kept them from gaining or even maintaining altitude. Whenever they took flight, their landing point was always lower than the launch zone.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:09 AM on August 15, 2022 [4 favorites]


She's also started flying to me and sitting on my head or hand. Today she even tried putting her head in my mouth to see if I have anything interesting to feed her with. I think it's a sort of budgie bonding behaviour? So after about 3 years she's starting to trust me.

The whole story is very sweet, but this last part made me think of the wonder that is that a tiny bird recognizes your mouth as a mouth, even though you are a completely different species. I mean, we do the same, we understand the basic anatomy of both a killer whale and a grasshopper, but isn't that amazing? The world is amazing.

Speaking of grasshoppers, there is really an insane amount of them here, right now, and I think about the noise they must be making, that I can't hear because of age. And I also wonder about who eats them and what do they eat? What is a grasshopper's place in the food chain? I'm thinking all the omnivore birds, but what about mice, foxes, other insects, badgers? Does someone here know?

"My" current birds are the cranes. They don't feel the same attachment to me, I'm afraid. But they are so beautiful and majestic. There are also a couple of Eurasian Jays in my garden that are colorful and always alert.

Procrastinating, because the alternative is house cleaning, and last time I tried that, I was bathed in sweat within ten minutes. But at some point I'm have to get it done. Tomorrow a huge thunderstorm is predicted, and it will probably be too dark for efficient cleaning.
posted by mumimor at 7:41 AM on August 15, 2022 [6 favorites]


Many turnips grow in Orbost

You see them
Wandering dazedly down the main street
Flicking little flecks of dirt and mulch
Off the shoulders of their flannies
Not really knowing
How they got there

In the evenings they go to the pub
And get hammered

Last week a bunch of bananas
Rode in from up north
Walked into the front bar
One of them said something
A turnip took offence

There was a massive fight in the street
And exactly as you'd expect
The bananas came off second best

Bananas are squishy
Especially compared to turnips
posted by flabdablet at 7:43 AM on August 15, 2022 [4 favorites]


so the bananas split?
posted by pyramid termite at 7:45 AM on August 15, 2022 [3 favorites]


You can laugh
You can make jokes
But don't say you weren't
Given fair warning
posted by flabdablet at 7:51 AM on August 15, 2022


Spent last week roaming Connecticut with my adventurous sister and ate a lot of great food including Ecuadorian, Caribbean and Peruvian. Chicha morada, cherimoya milkshake, and soursopp, naranjilla, ginger and baobab juices are all incredibly delicious and refreshing beverages but none are available near me at home. Sigh.
posted by kinnakeet at 7:51 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


Turnips are no laughing matter
posted by flabdablet at 7:52 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]



The whole story is very sweet, but this last part made me think of the wonder that is that a tiny bird recognizes your mouth as a mouth, even though you are a completely different species. I mean, we do the same, we understand the basic anatomy of both a killer whale and a grasshopper, but isn't that amazing? The world is amazing.

Yes, exactly, exactly! I'm so glad someone else understands.

It's amazing to me that a bird can look at me (big, weirdly feathered, and shaped all wrong) and clearly understand "OK those are the eyes, I will keep glancing at them to check what Provider Of Food might do next. And that over there's, we'll, I suppose it's a beak? Well, OK then, let's be polite and initiate beak-nibbling. "
posted by Zumbador at 7:54 AM on August 15, 2022 [6 favorites]


Budgie Zumbador looks absolutely besotted! I love that for him.
posted by taz at 8:04 AM on August 15, 2022 [3 favorites]


I like how the Wikipedia blurb for Orbost sounds like the opening of a novel:

Orbost is a historic early settlers
town in the Shire of East Gippsland, Victoria, 375
kilometres east of Melbourne and 235 kilometres
south of Canberra where the Princes Highway
crosses the Snowy River. It is about 16 kilometres
from the surf and fishing seaside town of Marlo on
the coast of Bass Strait and 217 km drive to Hotham
Alpine Resort.

/me gets comfy and settles in to read all about the delightfully eccentric denizens of Orbost
posted by taz at 8:14 AM on August 15, 2022


I caught up with some old cactus friends

Before I read the rest of this comment, I wondered whether that was some sort of southwestern slang for one's desert-rat acquaintances.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:21 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


Hers is the least expressive mug I’ve ever seen onscreen.

Sit down, youngling, and I will tell you of Kevin Costner.


If I may, allow me to spin the tale of Keanu Reeves.
posted by ovenmitt at 8:21 AM on August 15, 2022 [4 favorites]


Just wanted to drop a link to a friend's latest artwork that combines neuroscience and art - his latest is called "self-reflected" and is a gorgeous self-portrait of the brain. It's currently on permanent exhibition at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia, so get check it out in person if you can!
posted by toastyk at 8:33 AM on August 15, 2022 [4 favorites]


Many turnips grow in Orbost
...
In the evenings they go to the pub
And get hammered


Hammered turnips are pretty tasty.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:42 AM on August 15, 2022


I guess it's not really news because there have been developments over the past many months, but I recently found out that there have been confessions in the case of the Pike County Murders (previously on MetaFilter). And somehow the incredibly sordid and terrible story that's coming out seems like the most baleful and apropos sign of the times that I can imagine.
posted by Western Infidels at 8:45 AM on August 15, 2022 [2 favorites]


I'm in PDX to attend the wedding of Mefite Hollisimo, who has been my best friend for 20-something years. I got to walk her down the aisle and give a toast. It was super great. I know her from before Metafilter and she's probably only a MeFite because I would never shut up about this place.

While in Portland I got to briefly hang out with the Cortexes, who brought along a bonus MeFite, Janelle. We ate lunch at a food cart pod which is a thing we don't really have back home. I met Boaty McBoatface! (a cat) We walked in a park under a cool old bridge down to the river. I like it here.

I also got to the coast, Cannon Beach, and walked through a strand of old growth trees. We drove up to the observatory at Mt. St. Helens and had a bobcat run in front of us on the drive up. Seeing a wild cat was a bucket list item for me. Y'all have some pretty neat mountains here.

Portland is pretty nice, especially this time of year. I wish I had more time.

Tonight I take the redeye home but my wife, being smarter than I am, is staying here for a few more days.
posted by bondcliff at 9:06 AM on August 15, 2022 [14 favorites]


Thorzdad, are you making a small independent film tomorrow?

I did the same years ago, despite being well below the usual recommended age, because my father died rather young of colon cancer. I tried explaining all the different risk factors my father had that I don't (decades of smoking and alcoholism, a meat lover, numerous exposures to Agent Orange, etc.) but the doctor would not be dissuaded.

The best thing I can say about the experience is that, if you're lucky, it's infrequent.
posted by johnofjack at 9:11 AM on August 15, 2022 [3 favorites]


the Shire of East Gippsland

Oh, come on! That's just made-up!

("All words are made-up." --Thor)
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:19 AM on August 15, 2022


Speaking of grasshoppers, there is really an insane amount of them here, right now

Here too, mumimor!

This guy (Fredo) spent most of Saturday trying to interfere with my catch-up reading.
posted by thivaia at 9:25 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


Big boy!
posted by mumimor at 9:27 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


Apropos of nothing, I present Spanish with a fascinating accent
posted by Gorgik at 9:29 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


Hammered turnips are pretty tasty

Just ask any banana who fucked around and found out.
posted by flabdablet at 9:39 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


This weekend my dad and I went and got tintype portraits done -- this appears to be a growing artisan medium, and one artist in our town has 'walk-in' hours a couple times a year. His turned out really good (facebook link to the artist's page). I had mine done a couple months ago (see my profile pic) and Dad regretted not going down to the walk-in at that time when I mentioned it, so I made sure he got in for this open house. The 2nd tintype we got was both of us posed together (my fb link) because we don't have a lot of pictures of just us, now that time has been slowly dwindling our family down.
posted by AzraelBrown at 9:47 AM on August 15, 2022 [10 favorites]


Turnips are no laughing matter

The Turnip Winter of 1916–1917.
posted by Bee'sWing at 10:03 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


the Shire of East Gippsland

Oh, come on! That's just made-up!


That's certainly how it seems from the People's Republic of Mallacoota any time funding is needed.

For those who live across the seas we've boundless bits to share: magnet:?xt=urn:btih:7aa1615216256e740b9ae1b981f819c5d29d7aaa
posted by flabdablet at 10:06 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


Turnips are no laughing matter? What about the one served by Baldrick to Blackadder’s puritanical relatives?
posted by njohnson23 at 10:17 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


Now you're just being silly.
posted by flabdablet at 10:21 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


It was not a laughing matter, it was a cunning plan.
posted by taz at 10:31 AM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: a punning clan.
posted by njohnson23 at 10:34 AM on August 15, 2022 [3 favorites]




making a small independent film

That gave me a good laugh. Thanks, johnofjack!
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:43 AM on August 15, 2022


Why did I have to look at the myxomas? Dang! Near f'loss of stomach contents, crude but getting a crude floss pun in. Your floss won't be my gain, that is certain. I am at a f'loss for word.
posted by Oyéah at 12:10 PM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


Man, this summer has been a whirlwind. Got my gall bladder out, got a colonoscopy and endoscopy and just now tested positive for COVID.

All i wanted to do was go work in my new garage office, but no

Boo, I tell ya, boo!
posted by drewbage1847 at 1:29 PM on August 15, 2022 [2 favorites]


Hers is the least expressive mug I’ve ever seen onscreen.

Au contraire, she can look aghast with the best of them, also does fear and alarm well.
posted by y2karl at 1:55 PM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


I met a man carrying a long stick. "Are you a pole vaulter?" I asked. "No," he said, "I'm German. But how did you know my name?"

It's a classic.
posted by pipeski at 2:44 PM on August 15, 2022 [5 favorites]


Since discovering the other night that it's quite easy and free to gain access to the OpenAI Playground to experiment with GPT-3, I've gone deeper and deeper down a rabbit hole of trying to understand how its "mind" (or really "minds" I suppose) works. I just had a long and confusing conversation with it that I intended to be coaxing it into solving logic puzzles, but ended up being about whether the number of vowels in the English language is 5, 7, or 12. I still don't quite understand how it came up with 12. I think it was adding 5 and 7 but I couldn't quite get it to admit that. (The AI was certain that it's 12, then when I asked it to list them gave me A, E, I, O, U, W, and Y. It freely admitted that there were only 7 items in this list, and when I asked for the rest of them gave me A, I, O, and U. And when I asked about E it happily told me that E was left out. It insisted that I could check the Oxford English Dictionary for corroboration that there are 12 vowels in English. Such sass.)
posted by biogeo at 3:00 PM on August 15, 2022 [4 favorites]


12 vowel phonemes? That could be more possible, but I'm not googling to find out. That's a fascinating bit there, biogeo.
posted by hippybear at 3:05 PM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


Yes, I wondered if that might be it, too! It actually did at one point indicate that the number of "vowel letters" is 7, while the number of "vowels" was 12, explicitly distinguishing the two, but it was not consistent about that point. Inconsistency is kind of the name of the game from what I'm experiencing with GPT-3, actually.
posted by biogeo at 3:14 PM on August 15, 2022


I've just been appointed to a senior position at Old MacDonald's Farm. I'm the CIEIO.
posted by pipeski at 3:33 PM on August 15, 2022 [12 favorites]


Oh, and I've stopped playing chess with the old men at the park. It's getting hard to find thirty-two of them.
posted by pipeski at 3:48 PM on August 15, 2022 [11 favorites]


I walked into my spare bedroom/home office Saturday morning to update my little Pi. I was greeted by 2-3 dozen dead or dying bees. I keep the door to that room closed so I don't have to cool it. I closed the door back up and I high tailed it out of there and called my brother asking if I should call an exterminator. I'm completely new to this home ownership thing since my dad passed at the end of December.

Thankfully he didn't laugh at me and told me to get the can of bug spray from the basement (that I didn't even know we had) and spray the room. I did and then went in later that day to find all dead bees. I got out my brand new cordless vac and put on the wand attachment and vacummed those suckers up. I talked to my brother that evening and he was like, maybe they're coming from the attic. Friends, I didn't need to hear that.

There were a few more dying ones on Sunday and this morning there were none. I don't know how they got in there. There are some dead ones trapped between the window and the window screen. I tentatively look at the window from the outside and I didn't see anything. I hope not to see anything like that again.
posted by kathrynm at 4:45 PM on August 15, 2022


if you should choose to chew, you'll be pursued
I have no beef with those that chew, as long as they keep their fucking mouth closed!
posted by dg at 4:51 PM on August 15, 2022


Unless we're chewing the fat! That's the whole point of these free threads....

still, y'all should be typing with your mouth closed
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:59 PM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


The inventor of autocorrect died.
The funnel will be held tomato.
posted by blob at 5:13 PM on August 15, 2022 [7 favorites]


That's a ducking shame.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:10 PM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


the Shire of East Gippsland
Oh, come on! That's just made-up!
Gippsland is not only not made up, but world-renowned (for very loose definitions of that status) as the habitat of the Giant Gippsland Earthworm.
posted by Nerd of the North at 6:33 PM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


how am I going to top that hat.



🚬
posted by clavdivs at 6:38 PM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


👉🚭.....😬
posted by clavdivs at 6:40 PM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


What's a three-letter word for indecisive, starts with a U?

Umm...

Thanks!
posted by MrVisible at 6:56 PM on August 15, 2022 [3 favorites]


My city is incredibly suburban and car-oriented as many cities are. It has a contingent of gen-z and younger millennials who want to literally shutdown miles of city roads to cars. They keep saying that Paris/Amsterdam/Milan can work without cars why can't we. I explain that those are medieval European cities that formed their urban core in the 1100s, not the 1920s.

Coincidentally, this little item appeared on my life's timeline this morning.
posted by rhizome at 11:01 PM on August 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


I still don't quite understand how it came up with 12. I think it was adding 5 and 7 but I couldn't quite get it to admit that. (The AI was certain that it's 12, then when I asked it to list them gave me A, E, I, O, U, W, and Y. It freely admitted that there were only 7 items in this list, and when I asked for the rest of them gave me A, I, O, and U. And when I asked about E it happily told me that E was left out. It insisted that I could check the Oxford English Dictionary for corroboration that there are 12 vowels in English.

So what you're saying is that GPT-3 is like a Trump interview.
posted by rhizome at 11:05 PM on August 15, 2022 [3 favorites]


It may have been counting diphthongs, or long vs short or silent vs not. Once could probably come up with many 'vowels' that way.
posted by zengargoyle at 12:55 AM on August 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


Fun fact: Danish has something like twenty-eight different vowel sounds. This is not much fun for people from other language background learning the language.
posted by Dysk at 3:43 AM on August 16, 2022 [3 favorites]


A mysterious object from the sky landed near my office window. Naturally people disagree about what it is. Anybody wanna take a guess?
posted by JanetLand at 5:11 AM on August 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


(clavdivs joins pyramid termite and Peach in gaol, btw)
posted by taz at 5:33 AM on August 16, 2022


Posted that Virginia O'Brien thing.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 7:01 AM on August 16, 2022 [2 favorites]


The Gippsland earthworm, I heard he's single, again.

Metafilter: like a chicken cordon bleu auditioning for an Eastern European porn film.
posted by Oyéah at 10:00 AM on August 16, 2022


A mysterious object from the sky landed near my office window.

My guess is a roller bearing; what part of a plane it would have been I couldn't say but bearings are pretty crucial bits...
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:13 AM on August 16, 2022


I was going to ask my husband (an aviation aficionado, among other things), to have a look at that image, but I got paywalled. Does anyone have the image separately from the article?
posted by taz at 11:08 AM on August 16, 2022


Try Mass Live.
posted by JanetLand at 11:14 AM on August 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


Mr. husband says (briefly looking) "it looks to me like a bushing from the landing gear, especially if there is a nearby airport ... something that happened while extending or retracting the landing gear. That's just my impression, and all I can tell you."
posted by taz at 12:52 PM on August 16, 2022


My guess is a roller bearing

You don’t want to be on a plane that’s lost it’s bearings.
posted by notoriety public at 12:54 PM on August 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


There I'd be on a lost plane, crying "I can't continue bearing this much longer!"
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:12 PM on August 16, 2022


Yeah, that's not a roller bearing and I'm with Mr taz on it being a bush of some sort. Possibly a truck suspension part rather than an aircraft part, but it's hard to tell without some idea of size.
posted by dg at 1:59 PM on August 16, 2022


Life seems to be hitting me over the head with the fact that I should be in a different job/career/something. Just constant pokes to leave where I am, even without anywhere to go.
posted by nubs at 9:04 AM on August 17, 2022 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I'd like to leave, but literally nowhere will take me, it seems. And I'm not going to be creating my own career/business where I don't have someone else paying my health insurance and paychecks aren't reliable, thankyouverymuch.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:31 AM on August 17, 2022 [1 favorite]


The story says the part weighs seven pounds, so 'pint's a pound the world around' for water, the density of tin is ~7 times water, ~8 for iron, ~9 for copper, so the volume is probably a little less than a pint.

Falling from a plane that thing should have done serious damage to itself hitting granite at first, so I’d guess a terrestrial source.

I’ve been watching videos of runaway tires lately (they are mesmerizing), and tires from trucks often come off in pairs and take a length of axle with them, so I’d go with a spacer/bushing on a truck axle which was flung off into the air from the end of the axle when the axle really started wobbling, as they tend to do when they finally slow down after separating from the truck.
posted by jamjam at 11:37 AM on August 17, 2022 [2 favorites]


In Denmark, Pride is in August and while driving I heard an absolutely fascinating interview with a person who was 17 in 1981 and described gay culture in Copenhagen back then, where they became a drag artist at a famous nightclub. Since I arrived home, I've been googling to see if I could find English-language material about the club and its culture and artists to post on MetaFilter, but so far I have no good results.

It's weird because in 1981, I definitely went to all the other gay venues (except the saunas), because the music was better, and a female person could relax. But for some reason this one club felt a bit scary to me. I think in retrospect it was because the drug use was way beyond that of most other CPH venues, and I was very scared of drugs.

Obviously, AIDS was what closed that club. I want to write something meaningful, but I don't have the words.
.
posted by mumimor at 4:40 PM on August 17, 2022 [2 favorites]


pint's a pound the world around' for water,
Hilariously not actually true as an imperial pint is 20% larger but their pounds aren't. Very confusing for Canadians who have to deal with both types of freedom units.
posted by Mitheral at 5:18 PM on August 17, 2022


We are in the hotness in my town, not like Phoenix, say, but no let up for the next ten days. I live where the shadows of aircraft cross my house daily, but, the last place I lived was under F16's and the occasional FF35, that extra F is because of the noise. Come to think of it there is some of that here too. I miss water gurgle. My occasional forays into The Ogden Valley, Grace, Idaho, South Fork Slough. Dang!
posted by Oyéah at 9:22 PM on August 17, 2022


pint's a pound the world around' for water
Hilariously not actually true as an imperial pint is 20% larger but their pounds aren't. Very confusing for Canadians who have to deal with both types of freedom units.


It hadn’t occurred to me before your comment, Mitheral, but perhaps this explains the mystery of vintage Canadian Mason jars, which are larger than their US cousins and have wider mouths, but not so wide as the standard wide mouth Mason jar. The glass lids of one version of the Canadian jar are useful to me, and I wish I had more of them.
posted by jamjam at 8:01 AM on August 18, 2022


an imperial pint is 20% larger but their pounds aren't

Gallons are off by the same factor, which is why the same robust steel container that the US calls a 55 gallon drum is a 44 gallon drum everywhere else.

And it gets worse. Inside the US (aka "the world around") a pint is 16 fluid ounces; outside, it's 20 fluid ounces. But US fluid ounces are also not the same thing as everybody else's.

/usr/share/units/definitions.units is entertaining reading if GNU Units is installed on your Unix box.

Relevant excerpts:

brfluidounce 1|20 brpint
brpint 1|2 brquart
brquart 1|4 brgallon
brgallon 4.54609 l
The British Imperial gallon was defined in 1824 to be the volume of water which weighed 10 pounds at 62 deg F with a pressure of 30 inHg. It was also defined as 277.274 in^3, which is slightly in error. In1963 it was defined to be the volume occupied by 10 pounds of distilled water of density 0.998859 g/ml weighed in air of density 0.001217 g/ml against weights of density 8.136 g/ml. This gives a value of approximately 4.5459645 liters, but the old liter was in force at this time. In 1976 the definition was changed to exactly 4.54609 liters using the new definition of the liter (1 dm^3).
usgallon 231 in^3
usquart 1|4 usgallon
uspint 1|2 usquart
usfluidounce 1|16 uspint
US liquid measure is derived from the British wine gallon of 1707. See the "winegallon" entry below for more historical information.
winegallon 231 UKinch^3
Sometimes called the Winchester Wine Gallon, it was legalized in 1707 by Queen Anne, and given the definition of 231 cubic inches. It had been in use for a while as 8 pounds of wine using a merchant's pound, but the definition of the merchant's pound had become uncertain. A pound of 15 tower ounces (6750 grains) had been common, but then a pound of 15 troy ounces (7200 grains) gained popularity. Because of the switch in the value of the merchants pound, the size of the wine gallon was uncertain in the market, hence the official act in 1707. The act allowed that a six inch tall cylinder with a 7 inch diameter was a lawful wine gallon. (This comes out to 230.9 in^3.) Note also that in Britain a legal conversion was established to the 1824 Imperial gallon then taken as 277.274 in^3 so that the wine gallon was 0.8331 imperial gallons. This is 231.1 cubic inches (using the international inch).
What it all boils down to is that in the US a pint is 473.17647ml and everywhere else it's 568.26125ml.

The mass of a litre of water at 4°C (which is the temperature at which water is the most dense) is very close to 1kg - close enough that until 1889 this was the official definition for the kilogram - making that a much less contentious basis for back-of-the-envelope calculations.

This makes a US pint, at 473ml, come to 473g = 1lb 0.64oz; an imperial pint, at 568ml, is 1lb 4oz. So not only is a pint not a pound the world around: even inside the US it's more than half an ounce off.
posted by flabdablet at 10:13 AM on August 18, 2022 [2 favorites]


so, we got all thunk out on the beans and now we're overthinking a pint of beer?

hey, some of us just want to drink the stuff, you know?
posted by pyramid termite at 6:16 PM on August 18, 2022


You don't want to overdrink a pint of beer, y'know....
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:45 PM on August 18, 2022


Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
posted by hippybear at 6:50 PM on August 18, 2022 [1 favorite]


If you think this thread is bad now, just wait 'til the beer pints get through it.
posted by flabdablet at 3:15 AM on August 19, 2022


So I have written a book about a locally famous person, with many illustration. That was quite a while ago, I finished it in July 2020 but corona and funding issues have delayed it from being published. Now everything is ready, except for the layout, and while I was still in the countryside, the designer called me to say that something was terribly wrong. Yesterday, we met up and I could see that about 50 out of 140 illustrations are missing from the dropbox. This is bad. I can't bear several more months of delay while we recover the material. Cross your fingers for us: they may be on some server somewhere.

In good news, those two years have not been wasted. Today I received the final English proof, and with help from the editor and the absolutely brillant English proofreader, I seem much smarter and more eloquent than I really am.
posted by mumimor at 3:32 AM on August 19, 2022 [3 favorites]


Yesterday, we met up and I could see that about 50 out of 140 illustrations are missing from the dropbox. This is bad.

Dropbox has a "previous versions" feature and if you use that on a folder it should give you access to stuff that's been deleted from it, as long as that didn't happen too long ago.
posted by flabdablet at 3:39 AM on August 19, 2022


It's too long ago. But there is hope. Normally the archive who owns the material keeps the digitized versions for use on their own site. So if the fault is on our side, there is a strong likelihood the files are still on their server. But the person in charge is on holiday till Wednesday, so this is going to be a looong anxious weekend.
posted by mumimor at 5:04 AM on August 19, 2022


There was a comment somewhere not-Metafilter lately that pointed out how British people manage to confuse the hell out of everybody else by mixing up units. Something like:

"I went to the supermarket and got two pints of milk, a litre of orange juice, a kilo of sugar and a few pounds of apples. Then I put 20 liters of petrol in the car which should be OK as I get 60 miles to the gallon. Then I went for a five-mile run at a 6-minute per kilometer pace as I'm trying to keep my weight under 12 stones".

The worst part is you can't even instinctively think in both units. If you ask someone if they can carry back 2 liters of milk on their way home, they frown and their lips move as they mentally convert it to pints because milk isn't metric.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 5:15 AM on August 19, 2022 [1 favorite]


For the purposes of working out how much you can carry, a litre is near enough to a quart. Bit more than a quart in the US, bit less everywhere else. A kilogram is near enough to two pounds everywhere.

Melbourne had phased out milk in pint glass bottles in favour of pint and quart paper cartons before Australia went metric, and I have a childhood memory of feeling a bit ripped off after we did go metric because the new litre cartons just looked kind of wimpy and thin compared to the old quart ones.

Standard Australian sizes for fresh milk are now one, two and three litre HDPE bottles and one litre, 600ml and 300ml cartons. And although the 600ml and 300ml sizes obviously fill the market niche formerly occupied by pints and half pints, I honestly can't remember the last time I heard anybody refer to them that way.
posted by flabdablet at 5:40 AM on August 19, 2022 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: “When my brain begins to reel from my literary labours, I make an occasional cheese dip.”
posted by Oyéah at 11:04 AM on August 19, 2022 [1 favorite]


How it is I fixed my car today. So, the dog keeps eating my grandson's schoolbus. Then he calls for a ride, which is great, because I love him, and I am glad to see him. He is 15, and, good he is a good sized kid. My dear van was running very well, but it developed this flutter or miss, and I couldn't figure out what it is. So, again I was taking my grandson to school, and at a stop sign, half a mile at the most from his house, the car stopped altogether. So the lady behind me would not pass me and just go on, because she was reserving me room, to push my van backwards into a parking lot, just there. It became so clear. I told my grandson, you have to get out and push, we are going over there..." He gives me that Whut? look, and gets out and starts to push, meanwhile the built guy in the pickup next to me jumps out, and they push the car into the parking lot, and I park it in a regular space. I thank the stranger. My grandson mentions it was a lot easier than he thought it would be. It was his first experience pushing a car.

He asks me if it is out of gas, and no, I have half a tank. Meanwhile he is getting later, and I go around back, and open the engine cover, I tell him, I am looking for something obvious. There is nothing there, but I know this is electrical. I push down on all the distributor wires over the spark plugs, and then I remember the alternator wire gets loose, but I can't exactly spot it, but I fiddle with everything, close it back up, check the front fuses, and tell him to get in. He looks over at me, and I start the van, I starts right up. I say, "You know what, I bet this has fixed that flutter." And yes it did, the car does 70 like butter, and I take him to school on time.

I remind him of how he called it my wretched van, and I laugh. I tell him, at least he will have stories of his grandmother and her old VW van, we went for Popeyes all the time, and we fixed it if it broke, I picked him and his friends up, and all their bikes when he got a flat, and so forth, he is grinning. I say, "Somehow it is a lot better than Grandmamah picked me up in the Rolls and we would go for crumpets and take tea, on the way to...He laughs and shakes his head affirmatively.

Joni Mitchell has this covered...
posted by Oyéah at 11:23 AM on August 19, 2022 [2 favorites]


♪♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪-This is NOT Dixie!
posted by Oyéah at 11:55 AM on August 19, 2022


Oyéah, now I know for certain that you are a genius.

My dog eats things when I am away for too long (more than five minutes). Obviously, it has become much worse after lockdown, when we had a happy life with absolutely no seperation ever, and he thought paradise had arrived.

I try to keep things in containers and the fridge and so on, but I share my home with young people who cannot always think ahead, they are beautiful, happy and careless. Every week, he steals something, eats it, and gets sick.

Well, so that thing yesterday where I was at the designer's studio to look at images meant that I was away far more hours than planned, and in the meantime, the kids went out, not thinking to close the door to the kitchen. I plan for that, so I had removed everything he would eat from the counter. But I hadn't removed the box of Kalm. Do you know this? it's an over-the-counter food supplement for dogs that relaxes them. One uses it for situations like fireworks, or unusual events. It can't be overdosed. The reason I didn't hide it away is that it was in a box, and in the box, it was packed in plastic. I didn't think he could smell it or open it. Well, I was wrong. So the last 24 hours, he has been very relaxed. I thought it was a sign of his old age.

The reason I found out is that one of the boys has found a new girlfriend, and the dog is very excited about her appearance. He does no harm, but I felt it would be a good idea for him to calm down a bit while he got to know her. And then I couldn't find the box until I could, with all 20 pills extracted from their plastic home. His normal dose is 1,5.
posted by mumimor at 11:56 AM on August 19, 2022 [2 favorites]


Ah, Mr Bianco...
posted by flabdablet at 12:13 PM on August 19, 2022 [2 favorites]


Today our kid told me he was thankful he sits in the front row in Media class because otherwise he wouldn't know that teacher was his favorite.

She asked the class today if anyone was experienced in video editing software and a kid raised their hand and said "Yes! I learned it because I'm going to be an influencer!"

Our kid said from the front row, he just just hear the teacher muttering "Jesus Christ..." under her breath.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:56 PM on August 19, 2022 [4 favorites]


Unhinged textsprawl, new sock puppet name.
posted by Oyéah at 1:55 PM on August 20, 2022 [1 favorite]


EZ4U2SAY
posted by y2karl at 3:21 PM on August 20, 2022 [1 favorite]


they frown and their lips move as they mentally convert it to pints because milk isn't metric

Most of the time! Basically everything except the supermarket standard item brand stuff is metric - UHT milk, filtered milk (your Cravendales and so on), and plant based milk are all sold by the litre (or multiple thereof).
posted by Dysk at 7:49 PM on August 20, 2022


I remember being in Germany in the mid-80s and being so struck by how EVERYTHING was sold in those 1L square cartons. They made so much sense. They packed and stacked well, and they broke down pretty flat for disposal. I buy chicken stock in those here in the US, but little else. I'm pretty sure that packaging is a nightmare of layering of plastics and cardboard and stuff, but it is a very efficient way to sell things.

I find the mix of liters and gallons here in the US really peculiar, esp since we really aren't a metric nation. What I mostly hate is the shrinkflation by which years ago a half gallon ice cream became 1/4 cup less, and yogurt was always sold in 8oz cups, until it was suddenly 6oz. It might be more difficult to do that in metric, but maybe not? They do a lot with packaging to make it look like the old size even if it's really smaller.
posted by hippybear at 7:56 PM on August 20, 2022 [1 favorite]


My cheap, square picnic napkins, became rectangles, losing an inch one side, same price.
posted by Oyéah at 8:00 PM on August 20, 2022


It might be more difficult to do that in metric, but maybe not?

A lot of fancy juice over here now comes in those square cardboard things you mentioned (often referred to as tetrapaks, though that is just over if the available brands of the packaging) in 900ml sizes. They obviously used to be a litre.
posted by Dysk at 12:10 AM on August 21, 2022


often referred to as tetrapaks, though that is just over if the available brands of the packaging

The first Tetra Pak product I ever saw was genuinely tetrahedral, and contained the flavoured ice blocks we used to buy as kids if we wanted something that would last a bit longer than an icy pole (= ice lolly = popsicle).

They were made from the same plastic over foil over cardboard laminate as today's milk and juice bricks if I recall correctly, but they hadn't yet worked out the folding machines that form those. The neat thing about the actually tetrahedral Tetra Paks was that once you'd given the frozen contents time to lubricate itself against the packaging by melting a bit you could open them without needing to tear anything, just by squeezing two faces of the tetrahedron together, which would drive an ice wedge out through the seam between the other two faces and split it open from the inside.

Sometimes I'd get one that had been crushed a bit before freezing, and it would have a funny shape that couldn't be persuaded do the wedge thing properly, and that was sad.

The twist-to-open caps on many of today's Tetra Brik cartons involve some surprisingly intricate engineering.
posted by flabdablet at 2:24 AM on August 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


Thorzdad, are you making a small independent film tomorrow?

Yes. Very small. Direct to video, in fact. Interestingly, the “cinematographer” had an AI guiding their moves, I kid you not.

I did the same years ago, despite being well below the usual recommended age, because my father died rather young of colon cancer...The best thing I can say about the experience is that, if you're lucky, it's infrequent.

It was my second such experience in five years, so...not so lucky, I guess. Gotta go back for another in seven years now :(
posted by Thorzdad at 5:44 AM on August 26, 2022


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