The holiday card I didn't know I needed.
December 23, 2023 9:16 AM Subscribe
NYTimes notices the Hallmark Christmas movie meme trend and analyses the movies. gift link
Hallmark Christmas movie meme search, image search
Hallmark Christmas movie meme search, image search
Don't touch formulaic films. They are loved for their charm and not for their logic)
posted by SemHorney at 10:06 AM on December 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by SemHorney at 10:06 AM on December 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
As a person who doesn’t watch much TV I’m amazed there have been 424 Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies just sine 2017. Who watches all this stuff?
posted by beagle at 10:07 AM on December 23, 2023 [15 favorites]
posted by beagle at 10:07 AM on December 23, 2023 [15 favorites]
Same here, beagle.
posted by doctornemo at 10:29 AM on December 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by doctornemo at 10:29 AM on December 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
I really, really like the phrase "Hallmark of the Beast."
posted by doctornemo at 10:29 AM on December 23, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by doctornemo at 10:29 AM on December 23, 2023 [8 favorites]
Who watches all this stuff?
From 2021: ‘Tis the season: A deep dive into Hallmark and Lifetime holiday viewership (Samba.tv, Amanda Festa).
And from a few days ago: MAGA women want a Hallmark "home for the holidays" fantasy — but their votes run their kids off (Salon.com, Amanda Marcotte).
...i'm going to resign myself to making christmas tree ornaments in fuckberg for the rest of my life...
posted by MonkeyToes at 11:04 AM on December 23, 2023 [13 favorites]
From 2021: ‘Tis the season: A deep dive into Hallmark and Lifetime holiday viewership (Samba.tv, Amanda Festa).
And from a few days ago: MAGA women want a Hallmark "home for the holidays" fantasy — but their votes run their kids off (Salon.com, Amanda Marcotte).
...i'm going to resign myself to making christmas tree ornaments in fuckberg for the rest of my life...
posted by MonkeyToes at 11:04 AM on December 23, 2023 [13 favorites]
They neglected to mention how many of those women have a sassy black friend.
posted by nushustu at 11:05 AM on December 23, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by nushustu at 11:05 AM on December 23, 2023 [8 favorites]
For some reason the Ottawa area and specifically Carleton Place, a small town aout 50 km outside of Ottawa has become something of a film centre for these things. So much so that the local Film office has a specific Christmas productions page. Kind of bonkers, but I guess there are worse niches than being Whoville.
posted by bonehead at 11:06 AM on December 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by bonehead at 11:06 AM on December 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
I'm addicted to the Hallmark Christmas (see Fanfare this year, I watched ALL the new ones this year) because it sure beats my holiday reality.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:54 AM on December 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:54 AM on December 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
Gretchen Weiners has done pretty well for herself.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 12:45 PM on December 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by fluttering hellfire at 12:45 PM on December 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
I'm sorry this comment is late, there are birds.
posted by tommasz at 1:28 PM on December 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by tommasz at 1:28 PM on December 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
I see these (I think) sometimes when channel surfing, they are uncanny valley things with actors who faintly resemble famous actors but aren't them. It's eerie. They also seem to use a lot of CGI to digitally recreate places that actually exist.
posted by chavenet at 1:34 PM on December 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 1:34 PM on December 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
Don't touch formulaic films. They are loved for their charm and not for their logic
Sure but I think the article wasn’t disrespectful of the viewers? And it’s often fans who will be the first to point out the cliches, whether we’re talking about Hallmark movies, Star Trek, or slasher films.
posted by smelendez at 1:53 PM on December 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
Sure but I think the article wasn’t disrespectful of the viewers? And it’s often fans who will be the first to point out the cliches, whether we’re talking about Hallmark movies, Star Trek, or slasher films.
posted by smelendez at 1:53 PM on December 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
I had no idea there were 424 (or more) Hallmark Christmas movies. I thought there might be 24. Oh yeah and then #25, The Gay One. It's fascinating there's just so many of them. And per the NYT article, with more variance in the formula than you might first think. But all so bland, even the gay one.
posted by Nelson at 2:12 PM on December 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Nelson at 2:12 PM on December 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
Why does everything feel cryptofascist these days?
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 3:30 PM on December 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 3:30 PM on December 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
OK, So they aren't cinematic wonderments. They serve a purpose I'm sure.Pure escapism.No complicated plotline.Beautiful scenery and oft times a decent musical score...This 77 yest old gay man enjoys them...Still waiting for my prince to show up in my town...
posted by Czjewel at 3:49 PM on December 23, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by Czjewel at 3:49 PM on December 23, 2023 [10 favorites]
"Who watches all this stuff?"
My wife. She loves them. She's quite aware of their formulaic-ness and flaws, but binges on them during the holiday season while knitting or whatnot. I don't get it, but I don't really have to I suppose.
She was watching one the other day that had Lea Thompson and Christopher Lloyd. Made me a bit sad to see Lea Thompson relegated to a role as the mom of the protagonist in one of these, but everybody's got to pay the bills. I wonder if they need a middle-aged grumpy IT stereotype for the productions....
posted by jzb at 3:49 PM on December 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
My wife. She loves them. She's quite aware of their formulaic-ness and flaws, but binges on them during the holiday season while knitting or whatnot. I don't get it, but I don't really have to I suppose.
She was watching one the other day that had Lea Thompson and Christopher Lloyd. Made me a bit sad to see Lea Thompson relegated to a role as the mom of the protagonist in one of these, but everybody's got to pay the bills. I wonder if they need a middle-aged grumpy IT stereotype for the productions....
posted by jzb at 3:49 PM on December 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
So have we figured out what's killing all these 30-something small town women? Because there are way too many handsome, youngish widowers out there for these big cities girls to meet.
posted by thecjm at 5:02 PM on December 23, 2023 [11 favorites]
posted by thecjm at 5:02 PM on December 23, 2023 [11 favorites]
Something from this list I assume:
https://the-toast.net/2015/06/11/things-women-in-literature-have-died-from/
And, depending on the locale, the effects of Dobbs. I feel like there's an overabundance of single dads in the Hallmark movies.
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 5:51 PM on December 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
https://the-toast.net/2015/06/11/things-women-in-literature-have-died-from/
And, depending on the locale, the effects of Dobbs. I feel like there's an overabundance of single dads in the Hallmark movies.
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 5:51 PM on December 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
I think it must have something to do with that Jessica Fletcher.
posted by bonehead at 9:17 PM on December 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by bonehead at 9:17 PM on December 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
I think all the dead moms are because nobody then has to deal with ex-wives and custody agreements.
Heart of peppermint-barkness: I infiltrated Hallmark town, changing my view of its holiday movies
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:55 PM on December 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
Heart of peppermint-barkness: I infiltrated Hallmark town, changing my view of its holiday movies
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:55 PM on December 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
Don't touch formulaic films.
Have you met MetaFilter?
posted by doctornemo at 10:34 AM on December 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
Have you met MetaFilter?
posted by doctornemo at 10:34 AM on December 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
Hallmark movies are fascist propaganda
Forget "Triumph of the Will" — the most insidious authoritarian propaganda comes in the form of schmaltz (Amanda Marcotte, Salon, 2019)
“ There's plenty of reason that empty-headed kitsch fits neatly in the authoritarian worldview. It's storytelling that imitates the gestures of emotion without actually engaging with real feeling. The Hallmark movie steers clear of the real passion or deeper emotion that tends to be the engine driving more artful fiction. Characters who have real feelings, after all, can prompt empathetic reactions in the audience, and empathy for others is the greatest single threat to the authoritarian mindset. And so schmaltz walks through the paces of "love" without touching on any of the messy but compelling realities of it.”
I think it’s possible to enjoy these movies and also see how they interact with/shape/affirm established ideas about How People Should Be.
posted by MonkeyToes at 12:43 PM on December 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
Forget "Triumph of the Will" — the most insidious authoritarian propaganda comes in the form of schmaltz (Amanda Marcotte, Salon, 2019)
“ There's plenty of reason that empty-headed kitsch fits neatly in the authoritarian worldview. It's storytelling that imitates the gestures of emotion without actually engaging with real feeling. The Hallmark movie steers clear of the real passion or deeper emotion that tends to be the engine driving more artful fiction. Characters who have real feelings, after all, can prompt empathetic reactions in the audience, and empathy for others is the greatest single threat to the authoritarian mindset. And so schmaltz walks through the paces of "love" without touching on any of the messy but compelling realities of it.”
I think it’s possible to enjoy these movies and also see how they interact with/shape/affirm established ideas about How People Should Be.
posted by MonkeyToes at 12:43 PM on December 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
Netflix Won't Stop Making Bad Christmas Movies I actually didn't watch any this year, but yup, that Lindsay Lohan movie was...what it was.
In other news, I watched A Cowboy Christmas Romance, otherwise known as "the Christmas movie with sex in it" and there's barely a literal roll in the hay. I rarely watch Lifetime movies because most of the time I find them pretty meh, and this is somewhat meh. Best part of it was the heroine explaining to a rando hottie in the bar who thinks she's his blind date how she "closes" deals, and then finds out she's been sent there to buy his ranch, but NOW HE KNOWS HER TRICKS! Also, turns out it's really her dad in disguise she's working for because he cut her out of the family ranch and wants to make it up to her by buying her her own ranch! Except it's hottie guy's, so she sells it back to him for a dollar but wants to run it.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:57 PM on December 27, 2023
In other news, I watched A Cowboy Christmas Romance, otherwise known as "the Christmas movie with sex in it" and there's barely a literal roll in the hay. I rarely watch Lifetime movies because most of the time I find them pretty meh, and this is somewhat meh. Best part of it was the heroine explaining to a rando hottie in the bar who thinks she's his blind date how she "closes" deals, and then finds out she's been sent there to buy his ranch, but NOW HE KNOWS HER TRICKS! Also, turns out it's really her dad in disguise she's working for because he cut her out of the family ranch and wants to make it up to her by buying her her own ranch! Except it's hottie guy's, so she sells it back to him for a dollar but wants to run it.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:57 PM on December 27, 2023
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posted by jenfullmoon at 9:24 AM on December 23, 2023 [8 favorites]