Chang: conservative mystical warrior
September 22, 2005 12:31 AM   Subscribe

Don't blame me, I voted for Chang! Jeb Bush to the Florida legislature: "Chang is a mystical warrior. Chang is somebody who believes in conservative principles, believes in entrepreneurial capitalism, believes in moral values that underpin a free society. "I rely on Chang with great regularity in my public life. He has been by my side and sometimes I let him down. But Chang, this mystical warrior, has never let me down." WTF? But is it really that weird coming from a family with a long history with the Skull and Bones Society
posted by afflatus (47 comments total)
 
Weird.
posted by delmoi at 12:37 AM on September 22, 2005


I read this and felt embarrassed for our country.

Very dumb.
posted by teece at 12:43 AM on September 22, 2005


I don't know; I kind of feel comforted by the idea that our highest levels of government are controlled by people who subscribe to imaginary mystical warriors and belong to secret societies that require them (allegedly) to masturbate into a coffin.

Mind you, this is comforting because it explains why everything is so f'd up.

Isn't it fun to be a prole?
posted by davejay at 12:50 AM on September 22, 2005


his "mystical warrior" friend.

I had a mystical warrior friend. His name was Abe Grundfuddly and he had a laser sword. He disappeared mysteriously shortly after I turned seven though.
posted by kosher_jenny at 12:57 AM on September 22, 2005


I loved this part:

Here are Bush's words, spoken before hundreds of lawmakers and politicians: "Chang is a mystical warrior... [etc.]"

Translation: Hey... look, we know it sounds like some bullshit story made up by The Onion or something you'd see debunked on Scopes, but we're for real here. He actually said this. In front of witnesses, if you can believe it. As a matter of fact, a whole lot of witnesses. And video cameras. And yes, we checked the video tape and it wasn't faked. This is real; we shit you not. Oh god, just read the transcript.
posted by Clay201 at 1:00 AM on September 22, 2005


One Nation, Under Chang.
posted by nightchrome at 1:08 AM on September 22, 2005


"Oh... Bob Dole George Bush dun't need this"
posted by NinjaPirate at 1:14 AM on September 22, 2005


To those of us of an atheist turn it's just as sad when someone references god in public. This is just another mentally deficient dipstick waving his hands about looking for someone to help him with reality. The worst part is that he is speaking to a character from Star Trek -

"taH pagh taHbe'
posted by longbaugh at 1:18 AM on September 22, 2005




as someone who was once an atheist (now agnostic) I'd say it's not exactly the same. People who are christian just believe something I didn't, and now am not sure about either way. I also felt that people who looked at religious folk derisively were at about the same level of absurdity as chang lovin' bush, here.
posted by shmegegge at 2:45 AM on September 22, 2005


Helpful Euphemisms for Awkward Situations

"Someone left the barn door open"
"White City is open for business"
"Jeb, you've Unleashed Chang for all to see"
posted by maryh at 2:46 AM on September 22, 2005


Chang couldn't help Gov. Jeb's daughter Noelle with her crack problem? Chang must die!
posted by zaelic at 2:52 AM on September 22, 2005


Not just Noelle - haven't all his kids been arrested at least once?
posted by bashos_frog at 3:11 AM on September 22, 2005


Interestingly, "Unleash Chiang" was a right-wing cry in the 50s/60s, relating to letting Chiang Kai-Shek loose on mainland China.

From http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/1999/may12/performance-512.html

"He said former President George Bush must have employed a similar strategy when he invited Plimpton to play horseshoes at the White House. Prior to throwing each ringer, Plimpton said, Bush would whisper "Unleash Chiang," apparently in reference to freeing Chiang Kai-shek, or "Remember Iowa," referring to the primary where he'd been soundly defeated by Bob Dole."
posted by Hartster at 3:36 AM on September 22, 2005


Maybe that is what drove Dubya to this.
posted by archaic at 3:47 AM on September 22, 2005


Thanks Hartster. That information (wiki here) gives this story an even stanger cast.
posted by maryh at 4:11 AM on September 22, 2005


So with Katherine Harris no longer the Secretary of State, will Chang count the votes in 2006/8?
posted by Vidiot at 4:14 AM on September 22, 2005


From the article:

The saying was apparently quite popular with Gov. Bush's father, and referred to a legendary warrior named Chang who was called upon to settle political disputes in Chinese dynasties of yore.

The phrase has evolved, under Gov. Jeb Bush's use, to mean the need to fix conflicts or disagreements over an issue. Faced with a stalemate, the governor apparently "unleashes Chang" as a rhetorical device, signaling it's time to stop arguing and start agreeing.


He seems to be using Chang as a concept, not as though he believes there is this invisible dead chinese guy following him around talking to him.
posted by Bort at 4:24 AM on September 22, 2005




Chang's nothing, I voted for Kodos.
posted by thanotopsis at 5:23 AM on September 22, 2005


Chang +e = Change?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:27 AM on September 22, 2005


Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by Otis at 5:32 AM on September 22, 2005


I, for one, welcome our mystical Chinese warrior overlords!

it had to be done!
posted by mwhybark at 5:43 AM on September 22, 2005


I also felt that people who looked at religious folk derisively were at about the same level of absurdity as chang lovin' bush, here.

Why, because some fundamental elements of life and existence need answering? So then why is "Chang" a worse explanation than God?

I'm with longbaugh on this one.
posted by dreamsign at 5:44 AM on September 22, 2005


My overriding concern is that "unleash Chang" is some *shudder shudder* bedroom talk Jeb devised to alert wife Columba to his amorous intentions for the evening.
The progression from preambulatory smoochy smack to public political oratory, then, would be clear. And, ├ža va sans dire, vomitous.
posted by the sobsister at 6:11 AM on September 22, 2005


First It definitely seems like an inside joke. I don't find anything wrong with that as it seems a lighthearted event.

Second if you substitute Chang with Jesus would this be news. I seems to me that this is how atheists feel about God in the public eye.
posted by Dr_Octavius at 6:17 AM on September 22, 2005


I don't think the Hindus would be unduly fussed, either.
posted by dreamsign at 6:49 AM on September 22, 2005


Who's the mystical warrior private dick
That's a sex machine with all the chicks?
CHANG!
Ya' DAMN right.

"I hear that Chang is a bad mutha -"
"Shut yo' mouth!"
"I'm talkin' 'bout Chang . . ."
"Then we can dig it."
posted by ToasT at 6:49 AM on September 22, 2005


Bush bashers should be aware that Clinton had a similar ritual that involved unleashing Wang.
posted by srboisvert at 6:54 AM on September 22, 2005


Invoking mystical warriors? Next thing you know our politicians will be crowning cult leaders.

Not just Noelle - haven't all his kids been arrested at least once?

I don't think George P. Bush has been arrested (he broke into an ex-girlfriend's house and drove his SUV across their lawn, but they didn't press charges). Jeb 2 has been arrested twice, most recently last week, for public intoxication and resisting arrest.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:03 AM on September 22, 2005


I rely on Eng.
posted by Stoatfarm at 7:15 AM on September 22, 2005


Is 'unleashChang.com' taken?
posted by NationalKato at 7:18 AM on September 22, 2005


The worst part is that he is speaking to a character from Star Trek

I suppose we should be grateful that he only wants to unleash Chang. I'd find it more worrying if he'd said that he wanted to unleash Kodos the Executioner or the Horta.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:19 AM on September 22, 2005


I never knew that ancient Chinese warriors were such big fans of entrepeneurial capitalism.
posted by deanc at 7:20 AM on September 22, 2005


It's a generational thing. Most baby boomers are very spiritual of some type commonly Christian and/or New Age. They have become conservative in old age, but are also very spiritual, a combination which is frightning.
posted by stbalbach at 7:48 AM on September 22, 2005


if you substitute Chang with Jesus...

That's what I assumed was actually going on when I first read the FPP. I thought the writer had replaced all of Jeb's references to Jesus with "Chang" to make the point to those who support the meshing of religion and government that while it's all fun and games while those in power support your religion... just wait until some nutjob decides we as a nation need to follow "Chang".
posted by 4easypayments at 7:51 AM on September 22, 2005


So let's talk about blood oaths. Can public servants who have taken such oaths be relied upon to place their loyalty with their country, or with their blood brothers?
posted by sonofsamiam at 7:53 AM on September 22, 2005


My mystical warrior's name is Boggin Nogginflogger.
posted by Balisong at 8:00 AM on September 22, 2005


This is freaking bizarre.
posted by alumshubby at 8:16 AM on September 22, 2005


Who would win in a fight between Chang and Ramtha?
posted by jrossi4r at 8:25 AM on September 22, 2005


From the first link:
the governor apparently "unleashes Chang" as a rhetorical device, signaling it's time to stop arguing and start agreeing.

Cool! I need a phrase like that. From now on my rhetorical device will be

Here Comes Basil PooPoo Pants

This will be your signal to stop arguing and start agreeing with me.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:11 AM on September 22, 2005


Ancient Chinese secret, huh?
posted by beelzbubba at 9:49 AM on September 22, 2005


"I, for one, welcome our mystical Chinese warrior overlords!"

I designed one of these for the game I'm working on a few weeks ago. He looks really cool. Now I'm gonna tell all our crew that his name is Chang and we need to unleash him.

srboisvert:
one keyboard, please!

"wang" is just a funny word, really.
posted by zoogleplex at 10:17 AM on September 22, 2005


I wonder if this will affect the next gub race in Fla. It probably means he will have a hard time making a presidential bid, which (hopefully) will end the Bush dynasty till the next generation comes along.

Do you realize how long it has been since either a Bush or Dole has not been on either the VP or Presidential ticket?
posted by edgeways at 12:28 PM on September 22, 2005


1972 was the last such election.
Bush sr. ran for VP in '80, '84 and president in '88, '92
Dole for Vp in '76 pres in '96
Bush Jr. Pres '00 and '04
posted by edgeways at 12:45 PM on September 22, 2005


I've got www.unleashchang.com on hold over at yahoo's $4.99 domain name sale -- tell me what you'll do with it and I'll give it to you
posted by mabelstreet at 4:37 PM on September 22, 2005


"My overriding concern is that "unleash Chang" is some *shudder shudder* bedroom talk Jeb devised to alert wife Columba to his amorous intentions for the evening."

1) THAT's your OVERRIDING concern?

2) This "Chang," it vibrates?
posted by RelentlesslyOptimistic at 8:05 PM on September 23, 2005


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