Choire Sicha Reviews The Hangover
June 9, 2009 7:00 AM   Subscribe

"What struck me the most were their clothes. The men, in particular, seemed not even dressed, in their baggy, below-the-knee silvery gym clothing, and synthetic t-shirts and cheap flip-flops from China. These were clothes that were worn without any intention; these were the clothes they wore when they did not have to wear clothes ... it’s not so much that they suffer economically, or suffer intellectually, though these of course can happen, but that they suffer due to lack of 'story,'" Choire Sicha on The Hangover.
posted by geoff. (153 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
constructed to give people with little narrative in their lives some huge outsize narrative. Nothing this exciting will ever happen to the audience.

Well, there was that time I fought off all those terrorists in the skyscraper. And I was barefoot!
posted by Joe Beese at 7:05 AM on June 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


And so movies like The Hangover, which is about four men having an outlandish adventure, just seem so obviously constructed to give people with little narrative in their lives some huge outsize narrative. Nothing this exciting will ever happen to the audience.

This is also why people watch sports.
posted by orville sash at 7:06 AM on June 9, 2009 [5 favorites]


This is why people hunt the most dangerous game.
posted by Mister_A at 7:09 AM on June 9, 2009 [18 favorites]


The byline says Choire Sicha. I could have sworn it was Miranda Priestly.
posted by netbros at 7:10 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Who was that girl? I could not bear to look behind me. She was clearly either unbelievably stupid, or so deep in thrall to her uterus, that, either way, I wonder how she can put on shoes in the morning.

Ha! That's a great freaking line.
posted by nosila at 7:11 AM on June 9, 2009


People always say that people are the most dangerous game. I disagree, I think it's people, who hunt people, who are the most dangerous game, of them all.
posted by I Foody at 7:14 AM on June 9, 2009 [14 favorites]


This is why people hunt the most dangerous game.

Man ...atee?
posted by Midnight Rambler at 7:14 AM on June 9, 2009


You know what else suffered from a lack of story? The article. I sat down with the author, prepped for a narrative. I felt as if I were about to be treated to a dissection of something: the film, its audience, anything, but then there's the uterus hypnosis and the article does not end so much as there just ... stops being more article to read.
posted by adipocere at 7:15 AM on June 9, 2009 [37 favorites]


"so much so that it actually frightened and/or confused this audience, I think. It was really beyond."

This thing is about 600 words of the laziest bullshit I've ever read. I may well agree with the premise of the "article," but I'm not even positive what that premise is. It really is beyond.
posted by OmieWise at 7:15 AM on June 9, 2009 [12 favorites]


And so movies like The Hangover, which is about four men having an outlandish adventure, just seem so obviously constructed to give people with little narrative in their lives some huge outsize narrative. Nothing this exciting will ever happen to the audience.

And yet... haven't a lot of us had one of those silly little adventurous road trips, where it seems that every moment tumbles forward into the next? Where a minor complication early in the journey snowballs into something which seems huge by the end? Where one of the participants makes a bad decision or two and suddenly everyone else is involved in trying to help avoid the consequences?

Yes, most bits of real life end up being more like an early, chatty Linklater film than anything else, but the narrative of "the road trip gone horribly awry" has been around since at LEAST Homer's time.
posted by hippybear at 7:16 AM on June 9, 2009 [10 favorites]


Hm, third one to latch onto this quote, okay then. Anyway:

And so movies like The Hangover, which is about four men having an outlandish adventure, just seem so obviously constructed to give people with little narrative in their lives some huge outsize narrative.

So, okay, I wrote some pretty thin "critical essays" too when I was a college sophomore, but this one is remarkably tone deaf; it seems to have everything exactly backwards. If anything, the I-bankers and lawyers and other well-off young twits who work in blue Oxford shirts all week and actually walk the streets in gym clothes all weekend (where was the rip on the baseball caps, by the way?) have, if anything, the strongest narrative going on in America these days. They went to college, did at least moderately well, got a good job in the city, and probably either already own a condo or are well on their way to saving the down payment. Sure it's a banal narrative, but it's also one of the most powerful tropes in American culture, essentially the last shards of the "American Dream" that seems so out of reach for nearly everyone.

I haven't seen "The Hangover" so I can't really give an in depth critique about what these guys' guffawing over it says about them or the movie, but the fact is this "essay" could've been written about any piece of slapstick Hollywood escapism, which reinforces my impression that the author is just venting spleen instead of, you know, actually thinking hard about anything.

And:

Who was that girl? I could not bear to look behind me. She was clearly either unbelievably stupid, or so deep in thrall to her uterus, that, either way, I wonder how she can put on shoes in the morning.

Ah, zero to acontextual sexism in 9 paragraphs. Brilliant.
posted by rkent at 7:16 AM on June 9, 2009 [13 favorites]


I Foody: "People always say that people are the most dangerous game. I disagree, I think it's people, who hunt people, who are the most dangerous game, of them all."

People who hunt people are the luckiest people in the world.
posted by Joe Beese at 7:16 AM on June 9, 2009 [12 favorites]


this article is, equally, suffering from a lack of story. she's complaining about people dressing down at a movie theatre and generally being entertained by a silly movie, and plastered on either side of her site are huge ads for PAUL BLART: MALL COP, with 15 MORE MINUTES OF FART JOKES!!!
posted by Mach5 at 7:16 AM on June 9, 2009 [6 favorites]


She was clearly either unbelievably stupid, or so deep in thrall to her uterus, that, either way, I wonder how she can put on shoes in the morning.

So this guy is kind of an asshole, then.

I am personally not into dresses and babies, but I'm not going to call a random person stupid (especially to the level he takes it) because she makes a few two-word comments in a movie theater. Granted, I thought there were a lot of other things to focus on in the film other than baby + wedding, but if she did say anything else audible at any other point during the film, I would somehow not be surprised if he disregarded them.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 7:16 AM on June 9, 2009


I can't wait to read Choire Sicha on A Plate of Beans.
posted by borkencode at 7:19 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


When the author wrote this, she was at home, sitting at her computer, wearing her PJ's.

I'm getting together a group to locate her, remove whatever burr is up her ass, and buy her a heart, a sense of humor, and, if she asks nicely, a soul?
posted by HuronBob at 7:22 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I was just singing that to myself, Joe, as I cleaned my Remington.

I have figured out the premise of this article by the way: Here it goes: The premise is not "Here it goes," that was just me getting ready to tell you the premise: The next thing I write will be the premise: Drumroll: Wait that's not the premise either: I will put the premise in a blink tag, that's how you'll know it:

I, Choire Sicha, am above those people who went to see that same movie that I went to see in the same theater that they went to see the same movie as I in. Sartorially, at least.
posted by Mister_A at 7:22 AM on June 9, 2009 [12 favorites]


Personally, I liked the mention of Anathem as his attempt to make it seem like he actually had a point.
posted by lullaby at 7:22 AM on June 9, 2009


I have a big, wide-ranging, fulfilling and beautiful personal life that does not take place on the Internet! - Choire Sicha.

Not according to this evidence.
posted by permafrost at 7:22 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


*sough* Metafilter's Own *cough*


Oh Mr. Sicha. I embarassed him once as an overzealous teenager pitching a graphic annual. I hope he has forgotten.
posted by The Whelk at 7:22 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


What a stupid ass that writer is. He's criticizing the audience for their banality while simultaneously mouthing the most inane banal judgments of them based on their outfits (and the fact that a women likes weddings and babies).
posted by miss tea at 7:23 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


And so movies like The Hangover, which is about four men having an outlandish adventure, just seem so obviously constructed to give people with little narrative in their lives some huge outsize narrative. Nothing this exciting will ever happen to the audience.

Uh...so, is this a screed against this particular movie, or against filmgoing in general?
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:23 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


During L'Avventura that same girl went from "Oh what a beautiful boat, Oh what a beautiful island," to staring at the screen blankly asking why they forgot about the woman on the island, where did she go, why don't these people have any emotional connections to sobbing for 40 minutes on the alienation of modern capitalism.
posted by geoff. at 7:24 AM on June 9, 2009 [7 favorites]


ok...he needs a name that doesn't make me think he's a woman... change any gender specific word in my above comment as needed..

and, someone take the blink tag away from Mister_blinkie up there....
posted by HuronBob at 7:25 AM on June 9, 2009


There are a lot of assumptions and generalizations made about people as a whole from merely his observations of their clothing. I'm sorry but just cuz you are SBC doesn't mean you get to pull the same bullshit that lame journalists get lambasted for here.
posted by spicynuts at 7:25 AM on June 9, 2009


Oh but on the review, this isn't a movie of the Hangover, it is a review of movies. Movies are more exciting than not movies. Novels too, novels are more exciting than not novels. I find it particularly unremarkable that people are poorly dressed to go someplace that is specifically dark. The movie theater is the least public public place. You are to be unseen and silent. That movies are a social event is sort of bizarre, you go to movies with people because 2 hours after you will have something in common with them, but that's it.

Choire Sicha's observations were so insipid that they made me actually curious about why anyone would care what she (or he if Choire is a man's name) thinks about things. I wikipedia'd her and learned about her affiliation with Gawker and it made some sense. The uterus line was clever but the thesis was particularly banal.
posted by I Foody at 7:25 AM on June 9, 2009 [7 favorites]


These were clothes that were worn without any intention; these were the clothes they wore when they did not have to wear clothes.

Unbelievably wrong. These are the clothes picked out because they look as slouchy and cool as the casual clothes worn by sports stars and rock stars and rap stars when caught by the paparazzi. These are the kinds of clothes that the target demographic wears when they DO think about clothes. The button-downs and dress pants worn Monday through Thursday and the khakis and polos worn on "casual" Fridays are what these men wear when they can't think about the clothes they want to wear, because someone else has told them what's acceptable in an office environment.
posted by xingcat at 7:25 AM on June 9, 2009 [15 favorites]


I really don't understand what I'm supposed to get out of this. Is there a second page I'm not seeing?

Some dudes dress sloppily if they don't have to go to work? Ha ha some women like flowers and babies and weddings (LOL broads amirite)? Most people's lives are fairly mundane?
posted by giraffe at 7:25 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Stay tuned for his revue of the audience of the 8:30 showing of The Hangover.
posted by munchingzombie at 7:27 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


what
posted by Xoebe at 7:28 AM on June 9, 2009


OH FUCK...how did I end up thinking this was Sascha Baron Cohen? Now that I see it's Choire, I'm not surprised. Ex-Gawker twat complaining that Murray Hill people are sheep??? Please.
posted by spicynuts at 7:28 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Summary of article for those who don't want to waste their time.

Some guys wore flip flops to see a movie and the author didn't like it.
posted by storybored at 7:29 AM on June 9, 2009 [11 favorites]


i don't understand why that guy is 'reviewing' this movie.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 7:29 AM on June 9, 2009


Can I just say right now that it is really unfortunate that the author's name is Choire? Choire sounds like the name of someone who would write an article like this.

He probably went home to his house, and called up his sister Lysistrata and moaned effusively. But then his cousine (people like this always have extra "e" cousines), Terpischore texted him lambasting the new Land O' The Lost Will Ferrell "vehicle".

All in all, a very productive afternoon in the Siche household.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 7:30 AM on June 9, 2009 [9 favorites]


Choire is a guys name? someone please s/her/his/g on my comment please.
posted by Mach5 at 7:30 AM on June 9, 2009


This article is about things and stuff, using words and junk. And I'm commenting on it. So, you know. It's an opinion. People are entitled to them so they can say something about stuff. And this is about people and how they dress at movies which are about stories but also about, you know, people. But who are doing more exciting things then you, which is why you're watching them. And then people write on stuff like this that are about that. And you read it. And then it's over.
posted by Smedleyman at 7:30 AM on June 9, 2009 [6 favorites]


up his sister Lysistrata

No father in his right mind would name his daughter Lysistrata.


or Antigone for that matter
posted by The Whelk at 7:32 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Can I just say right now that it is really unfortunate that the author's name is Choire?

Well, to be fair, it's pronounced Cory. Which is a pretty normal name.
posted by spicynuts at 7:33 AM on June 9, 2009


That review was as stupid as the movie sounds. A lack of "life story" because these people arn't dressed up in hipster garb. I bet that they shop at walmart and eat at McDonnelds. News flash: If you actually judge people based on what consumer products you buy, you're worse then a moron who likes vapid entertainment.
posted by delmoi at 7:35 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wow, rarely do I find that all the alternate meanings of a word fit to decribe a person, in this case how the author of that article presents herself:

smug
One entry found.

Main Entry:smug
Pronunciation:\ˈsməg\
Function:adjective
Inflected Form(s):smug·ger; smug·gest
Etymology:probably modification of Low German smuck neat, from Middle Low German, from smucken to dress; akin to Old English smoc smock
Date:1551
1 : trim or smart in dress : spruce
2 : scrupulously clean, neat, or correct : tidy
3 : highly self-satisfied
— smug·ly adverb
— smug·ness noun
posted by Muddler at 7:35 AM on June 9, 2009


Couldn't he have at least gone to Turtle Bay or something afterwards to work up some REAL FUCKING HATE?
posted by The Straightener at 7:35 AM on June 9, 2009


Jeez, it's just a tiny off-the-cuff blog post, nothing to get too worked up over.

As for the sexism part. Hmm. I think feminism (and being a feminist, and I can trot out my years of doing clinic defense, I guess) means that I can call stupid people stupid now. Similarly, there's a saying we used to have in ACT UP, 20 or so years ago: "An asshole with AIDS is still an asshole."
posted by RJ Reynolds at 7:35 AM on June 9, 2009 [17 favorites]


I'm not even positive what that premise is.

The alternate title was In Which the Author Attends a Motion Picture and Finds the Audience to be Most Ill-Attired, Corpulent and Banal, but that took up too much space.
posted by electroboy at 7:37 AM on June 9, 2009 [6 favorites]


High-falutin' prose from someone whose sidebar ads are for Paul Blart: Mallcop. IN STORES NOW!!!
posted by electroboy at 7:39 AM on June 9, 2009 [3 favorites]


what about naming her Electra?
posted by hippybear at 7:42 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


The Whelk: I went to school with a woman named Antigone. She was cool. People called her Tiggy. No, I am not making that up.
posted by The Bellman at 7:42 AM on June 9, 2009


What a cranky blue morning.

The point of the article isn't the erudition of the author's alleged superiority complex or the sideways review of the film (Specifically the performance of Zach Galifinakis).

It's about that moment when you feel complete and total alienation from your culture and every other person, regardless of gender.

Think back, some of you. You remember that moment. The moment you thought had some sort of art to offer the world.

I, for one, will now sit back and wait for this author to share that second most important moment in the life of the artist. In that second moment, the budding artist realizes their connection to absolutely everything.

It's really the only story there is to tell.
posted by SinisterPurpose at 7:43 AM on June 9, 2009 [3 favorites]


RJ Reynolds: "Jeez, it's just a tiny off-the-cuff blog post, nothing to get too worked up over.

As for the sexism part. Hmm. I think feminism (and being a feminist, and I can trot out my years of doing clinic defense, I guess) means that I can call stupid people stupid now. Similarly, there's a saying we used to have in ACT UP, 20 or so years ago: "An asshole with AIDS is still an asshole."
"

Hi RJ! Miss ya around here man. Great stuff as always.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:43 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


the narrative of "the road trip gone horribly awry" has been around since at LEAST Homer's time

hippybear: The idea of the Odyssey as a road trip gone awry is probably the best thing I have ever heard. Thank you so much!
posted by The Bellman at 7:44 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I admit it, I loled.

But really, I think the "I was going to review this movie but it was stupid and you already know what it's going to be about, so instead I'm going to rail about the other people who watched this dumb movie with me" narrative is getting a bit cliche. It's right up there with "guy who hasn't gone to the movies in 10 years bitches about how obnoxious people are at the movies these days."

So, in a way I think this is the perfect review to accompany a movie like The Hangover; it makes you laugh while you're experiencing it, but later on you realize that it was pretty banal and arguably sexist and you feel a little dirty.
posted by Kadin2048 at 7:47 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


So... why is this best of the web a FPP? And why do we care about this dude?

I don't care if he is "metafilter's own", a half-page, poorly-written throwaway blog (?) post is not worthy of the blue. Can I flag this as "lame"? Is there a way to flag it *harder* than a normal flag? Congratulations, geoff. You made all of us dumber.

(munchingzombie did make me laugh, though)
posted by indiebass at 7:48 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


2 points:

1) That baby is pretty cute.

2) I love that at the end of the article, he has only positive things to say about the movie, and still manages to imply that he enjoyed it on a different level than the rest of the audience.
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 7:48 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Generally when I go on road trips though I am not armed to the teeth with the intention of re-kidnapping some broad who absconded with the kid next door.
posted by spicynuts at 7:48 AM on June 9, 2009


Well, you're doin' it wrong, spicynuts.
posted by Mister_A at 7:50 AM on June 9, 2009 [3 favorites]


means that I can call stupid people stupid now

Yep. Present company included.
posted by miss tea at 7:51 AM on June 9, 2009


"Papa Hemingway! Where are the men?":
FOUR YEARS AGO now, this newspaper expressed its discontent at the scruffy, feelings-talking boys that had begun to plague our city, and presumably other urban zones. (It also ends with what has since become a punch line: “With additional reporting by Jessica Joffe.”) But since then, men’s underwear has only become more sculpted, more package-enhancing; men’s thoughts have become smaller and more interior; and so their books have become more miserable, more antisocial.

And thus, the cycle completes itself. He's become the very animal he railed against and given us an antisocial "how did these lazy, badly-dressed small-minded people get on my lawn??" misery-filled rant, peppered with a couple of misogynistic observations.

To think that his essays used to be considered "Best of the Web". It's sad, really.
posted by zarq at 7:51 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wow. Those ads really do advertise fifteen more minutes of fart jokes.

:(
posted by youarenothere at 7:52 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Well, to be fair,...."

We really try to avoid that...
posted by HuronBob at 7:54 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]



The Whelk: I went to school with a woman named Antigone. She was cool. People called her Tiggy. No, I am not making that up.



Fun story, I read a lot as a kid (shocking!) so I came across a lot of words I knew but just never said aloud. I was in High School English and feeling pretty good about myself cause I did all of the reading for the class over the summer. When I teacher asked everyone what they read over the summer I proudly raised my hand and said

"Well I loved Anti-Gon."

She stopped, gave me a long look and said.

"You mean An-tig-on-ne?"

And then I wanted to die.
posted by The Whelk at 7:54 AM on June 9, 2009 [13 favorites]


I'm sorry but just cuz you are SBC doesn't mean you get to pull the same bullshit that lame journalists get lambasted for here.

Southern Baptist Convention?
posted by Afroblanco at 7:55 AM on June 9, 2009


I laughed when the men in the movie abused the baby.

Yeah, that's always hilarious. Asshole.
posted by jbickers at 7:55 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


I felt as if I were about to be treated to a dissection of something: the film, its audience, anything, but then there's the uterus hypnosis and the article does not end so much as there just ... stops being more article to read.

Did you also spend several seconds blinking at the bottom of the page, searching in vain for a link to "page 2" because you were convinced there should have been one? It took me a few seconds to accept that "...wait, that really is the end? Wow."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:57 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


And so movies like The Hangover, which is about four men having an outlandish adventure, just seem so obviously constructed to give people with little narrative in their lives some huge outsize narrative.

For those who might question what my narrative is, it's really quite simple; I'm a hipster, you're a prole. I'm cool, you suck.

Needless to say, my narrative will never be accessible to ill-dressed, baby-fancying louts like you, so you may as well sit in the theater and accept your entertainment as the only narrative you deserve.

Next week, if you don't write too many nasty letters, I might actually deign to review the movie.

posted by pyramid termite at 8:01 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


You motherfuckers are just preaching to the Choire at this point...
posted by Mister_A at 8:02 AM on June 9, 2009 [8 favorites]


And so movies like The Hangover, which is about four men having an outlandish adventure, just seem so obviously constructed to give people with little narrative in their lives some huge outsize narrative.


I read the review a few minutes ago, and didn't comment then, so it's probably been said, but my immediate reaction was "Well, duh! It's a movie, right?" Isn't that what 95% of Hollywood movies are designed to do from the outset before the script is even embarked upon? This could even be said about the truly great films, to some extent. The huge, outsize narrative of Under the Volcano made me sit down and think hard.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:02 AM on June 9, 2009


Metafilter: why people hunt the most dangerous game
posted by ArgentCorvid at 8:03 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


"...[the great unwashed] suffer due to lack of “story.”

How much story do you get to have in your tamed life, when you are doing the opposite of hunting buffalo on the plains, say, when you are sitting in an office for eight hours a day, with no interest or input in the corporate super-structures whose machinations control your working life?


Quite a bit, actually.

If you look closely enough, you'll find that everyone has a rich, compelling story. That these people may be unaware of it, or think their stories aren't rich and compelling, that's the sad part. To assume that other folks lack "story" in their lives because you can't see it means only that you share in their failing. Just look, goddammit. The stories are right in front of you.

Yeah, most of us don't have tales of tigers in hotel rooms or hanging off of helicopter skids a thousand feet above the French coast as Algerian gangsters try to kill us.* That means nothing. If the surfaces of everyday peoples' lives seem uniform, then look closer -- because it's in the fine details where the differences, and the beauty, and the value, can be found. That's where the meat of life and individuality can be found. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there.

*I do, but I admit my experiences fall well outside the norm. Buy me a gin sometime and I'll tell you about 'em.
posted by Harvey Jerkwater at 8:07 AM on June 9, 2009 [15 favorites]


People who hunt people are the luckiest people in the world.

Until they become hunted by the people who hunt people who hunt people. That's when they have to ask themselves how lucky they feel.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:07 AM on June 9, 2009 [5 favorites]


I bet Choire Sicha hates Francis Bacon, too.
posted by aught at 8:08 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


So not only do I have to get off your lawn, but I have to dress up to do so?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:09 AM on June 9, 2009 [7 favorites]


It was a blog post, folks. By an internet-famous person. geoff. linked to it, but he didn't say "OMG PAULINE KAEL IS RISEN". Choire's post is redeemed, for me, by the mental link I made between the current vogue for shapeless athletic clothing and what people were wearing in Idiocracy.

Free, smug, breeder-flicking condescension on a Tuesday morning? I'll take it.

* sips single-origin shade-grown fair-trade coffee *
posted by everichon at 8:11 AM on June 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


I was going to comment on the link from the post, but then I read the comments in this thread. It's like I was reading the the post with the exact group of people that were meant to complain about it. It was like these people, who were too jaded to actually go to a theater and describe how other people were losers, used the post itself as a place to hang their snark. And then some woman posted a comment. Then some other stuff. And then I just got distracted and trailed off...
posted by snofoam at 8:11 AM on June 9, 2009


That was really beyond.
posted by Skot at 8:12 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Um I'm confused is the author saying the movie was bad or that the audience that saw the movie was bad or that she is a douche or all of the above? Seriously who goes to a movie like "the hangover" expecting to see an oscar worthy film and then somehow be in the company of some of the greatest intellectual minds society has to offer?
posted by Mastercheddaar at 8:15 AM on June 9, 2009


They had bad skin and wore too much makeup. They didn't look very good.

They looked beat-up. And the stuff they wore was thrown together and cheap.

A lot of pantsuits and double-knits.
posted by porn in the woods at 8:15 AM on June 9, 2009 [3 favorites]


Whats wrong with a lack of craziness and drama in your life? Heck, I'm lucky I dont have the problems and misadventures my parents did or the poorer members of my social circle have today. Having a calm life is a luxury and a privileged. Its a shame the spoiled writers of the world can't accept this. Im not looking forward for more essays from people who have never been truly poor or truly been in some kind of trouble.
posted by damn dirty ape at 8:15 AM on June 9, 2009


People who hunt people are the luckiest people in the world.

Everytime I read this line, it's sung in my head by Barbra.
posted by hippybear at 8:18 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hunting people is wrong, even if Barbara sings about it.
posted by everichon at 8:21 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Who is this "Barbara" of which you speak? Ms. Streisand let us all know very early on that her name is Barbra.
posted by hippybear at 8:23 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I don't hunt for sport, I hunt for food.
posted by Mister_A at 8:24 AM on June 9, 2009


The other night I was watching TV and a car-rental commercial came on and I genuinely found it funny so I laughed at it and then I went back to watching TV.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 8:26 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]




her name is Barbra

* googles *

Holy shit, I learn so much from Metafilter. It gives, and it gives.
posted by everichon at 8:28 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


As for the sexism part. Hmm. I think feminism (and being a feminist, and I can trot out my years of doing clinic defense, I guess) means that I can call stupid people stupid now.

Nope, no deal. That post was full of big douchy sexism and here's why. I don't have much regard for your conception of yourself as a "feminist," I care about the words you actually write, particularly in a quick one-off blog post, which tend to be more revealing. Check this out:

Who was that girl? I could not bear to look behind me. She was clearly either unbelievably stupid, or so deep in thrall to her [____], that, either way, I wonder how she can put on shoes in the morning.

There are many things you could've put in the blank that would've been non-sexist, or at least predominantly directed to a cultural critique. Such as "copy of US Weekly," or "crowd of sorority friends." But you went straight for the uterus. Which, I'm sure you're aware as a clinic worker, is a female sex organ. Saying that women are acting stupid because of their sex organs has really formed a core of sexism since at least the early Victorian period. I'm sure it was all you could do to avoid using the actual word "hysteria" - that doesn't make your text non-sexist.

furthermore:

Similarly, there's a saying we used to have in ACT UP, 20 or so years ago: "An asshole with AIDS is still an asshole."

Yeah. There was a developmentally disabled guy in my high school who was an absolute jerk to everyone he met. And if the folks at school had called him an asshole, they would've been right on. But when they called him a "fucking retard," that was mean-spirited and exhibited bias against the handicapped. Thus with the "uterus" statement.
posted by rkent at 8:28 AM on June 9, 2009 [10 favorites]


National Lampoon's Vacation prefigures O Brother, Where Art Thou in its reinterpretation of They Odyssey, recontextualized for a particular socioeconomic American milieu.

*drags on clove cigarette*
posted by shakespeherian at 8:36 AM on June 9, 2009 [5 favorites]


This is a 30-second-article trying very hard to be witty and insightful.

The witty punchline is: There is an audience member who is either stupid or uterus-enthralled.

The central insight is: Comedy is "constructed to give people with little narrative in their lives some huge outsize narrative".

Lacking wit and insight, at least I can enjoy the brevity and irony.
posted by xod at 8:38 AM on June 9, 2009


The Whelk: I went to school with a woman named Antigone. She was cool. People called her Tiggy. No, I am not making that up.

Antigone Parker? I think she used to be in my dorm at Brown.
posted by jonp72 at 8:38 AM on June 9, 2009


Saying that women are acting stupid because of their sex organs has really formed a core of sexism since at least the early Victorian period.

Why pluralize women. He said that about a woman. I take it as a play on a man thinking with his dick which is comparatively cliched. I thought the article was awful (and written by a woman) but I didn't think it was sexist.
posted by I Foody at 8:41 AM on June 9, 2009


Dumbass, no one thinks with their uterus, they think with their ovaries.
posted by kathrineg at 8:43 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: The opposite of hunting buffalo on the plains.
posted by zarq at 8:43 AM on June 9, 2009


Me and the wife are actually going to eat people for dinner tonight. Bagged 'em yesterday during the hunt. And then we're going to eat other people tomorrow night. And you know what? We are not ashamed of this at all. It's all part of our new and exciting lifestyle, our new narrative. Wheeee!

We don't like abusing babies, though. Not cute.
posted by zaelic at 8:44 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Oh god, look at these people I'm in a theater with.

Oh god, look at these people I'm in

HAHA THAT CAR DOOR JUST SLAMMED INTO THE BABY

HAHAHAHAH

Oh god...
posted by naju at 8:51 AM on June 9, 2009 [6 favorites]


Nope, no deal. That post was full of big douchy sexism and here's why...

Just to moderate this a bit, I want to be clear that I'm not debating RJ Reynolds' feminist-feeling, clinic-working bona fides. I'm sure he feels and does all those things. I'm not trying to call him a sexist, as a person. My point is more that those characterizations are not relevant to the fact that the statement in the post came off as incredibly sexist - which can be the case regardless of a person's true inner feelings or self image.
posted by rkent at 8:53 AM on June 9, 2009


I bet Choire Sicha hates Francis Bacon, too.

Actually, this is prime Bacon rhetoric right here. OH LOOK AT THE STUPID ILL-DRESSED PEOPLE WATCHING THE IDIOTIC FILM! HOW SUPERIOR AM I! ALSO, THIS WOMAN IS STUPID BECAUSE OF HER UTERUS!

If you referred to all the guys as "she" and tossed in "Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends" it would be straight out of the Francis Bacon playbook.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:57 AM on June 9, 2009


This is why people hate film criticism.
posted by vibrotronica at 9:02 AM on June 9, 2009


We don't like abusing babies, though. Not cute.

Bruising toughens the meat.
posted by vibrotronica at 9:05 AM on June 9, 2009


Eh, I never got any good stories from hunting. You drag ass out of bed before dawn, tiptoe up to the stand, wait silently for your prey to wander by. If your first shot doesn't kill you might have to track them through the woods for awhile. I mean, yeah, we speed around the mountain in old Jeeps and make it all dramatic on the weekends when the tourists are paying for the big game tour, but that's just for show. It's not that exciting if you're doing it right. Not to mention the dirt scented soap, yuck.

Which is why all the humans we serve at the lodge are actually raised on my organic farm. We can efficiently slaughter them in the barnyard, stock the meat locker, and move on to real adventures.
posted by little e at 9:06 AM on June 9, 2009


Eureka! I'll criticize what the people in the audience are wearing! It's the biggest new frontier since the talkies, or perhaps 3d.
posted by box at 9:09 AM on June 9, 2009


Looking at the author's blog:

In answer to your question: Nope! I really don't care if I have to march with misguided Libertarians and Trustafarians and other poorly-clad people who insanely think the World Bank is going to issue a new pan-North American coin or that Ayn Rand was right or that Lyndon LaRouche is anything but a wingnut moron or that beating on drums and playing hacky sack is an awesome thing to do. I do not really care about Leonard Peltier or the Kurds or the World Zionist Movement or whatever the hell the leftists are all lathered up about these days. I don't care if I have to be arm in arm with unwashed pronoun-averse gender separatists or weird so-right-they're-left and vice versa people from Vermont in clogs. I will wear a tie or maybe a kicky preppy polo shirt, weather depending, plus I have to stop by Christie's in the morning to see this fabulous Hockney painting first. The point is: the structure and the effects of the financial bailouts are entirely wrong. These mistakes are disgusting. There is very little benefit accruing to the working people either in the U.S. or the world, and I wonder if there will be much at all.

(emphasis mine)

Note the repeated mentions to what the people are wearing, their hobbies, and stereotypes. And if we look at the man's twitter, we see such bon mots as:

A Mexican served me lunch! Am I going to die?

I'm a feminist! I'm allowed to hit women! Tonight is going to be great.

I hate the unwashed masses as much as the next person, mainly when they're drunk, but I'd rather be a prole than an asshole.
posted by zabuni at 9:14 AM on June 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


This tool is like those goth kids who shop at hot topic but spend hours reasoning how they're not one of THOSE people who shop at hot topic.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 9:17 AM on June 9, 2009 [3 favorites]


"That post was full of big douchy sexism and here's why"

Look, sometimes bitches are just stupid, see?
posted by Smedleyman at 9:22 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ah. So this guy's whole persona is one big put-on, right?
posted by naju at 9:25 AM on June 9, 2009



Ah. So this guy's whole persona is one big put-on, right?


WINNER!! Give that guy a cigar. He got his start (or made his name, whichever came first) writing for Denton's empire (Gawker). That pretty much says all you need to know.
posted by spicynuts at 9:32 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I really feel kind of bad for poor Choire at this moment. He wrote a blog post, probably never intended it to be read outside the circle of people who normally read his blog, and suddenly this wonderful, intelligent community of which he is a paid member has called him more names than I would ever want to have directed at me in a lifetime. I mean, it does sort of make a case of using the "friends-only" feature of one's blog more often, but does he really deserve THIS much hate?
posted by hippybear at 9:33 AM on June 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


This is why people hate film criticism.

They may indeed hate film criticism, but the linked article ain't that. Besides a couple of zings, it's about as deep as the local TV station's weather person/culture & arts correspondent's run down of movies opening this week, with some fairly trite misanthropic observations promising much more than the author is willing or capable of delivering.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:35 AM on June 9, 2009


That's funny. When my wife and I saw The Hangover this weekend, I didn't see any baggy-clothed twenty-somethings. I did see a couple of elderly women watching the movie. We weren't sure they were entirely clear what the premise of the movie was prior to buying the tickets though. Does this mean I can write a "review" of the film in which I write five words about the film, and five hundred words lambasting the elderly for being easily shocked, unaware and/or forgetful? Somebody please say yes. I have this bitingly sarcastic line in mind where I say something about how the one lady was so totally enslaved by her Alzheimer's meds.
posted by caution live frogs at 9:36 AM on June 9, 2009


I really feel kind of bad for poor Choire at this moment. He wrote a blog post, probably never intended it to be read outside the circle of people who normally read his blog

He's a professional journalist, and that isn't his personal blog--it's a professional project. (Hence the big splash banner advertising for Paul Blart: Mall Cop.)

Once again, if you write something and publish it in a professional space, it's not the same as writing something in your private LiveJournal or on your FaceBook page.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:47 AM on June 9, 2009


Until they become hunted by the people who hunt people who hunt people.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
posted by The Bellman at 9:51 AM on June 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


To be fair, no one likes Trustafarians, Libertarians or people from Vermont. And babies do make people stupid. And anyone who pipes up with "Cute!" in the middle of a movie can be assumed to be sort of an idiot.
posted by electroboy at 9:52 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


I find Zach Galifinakis hilarious, even his beard, maybe especially his beard.
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:55 AM on June 9, 2009


WHO SHALL HUNT THE HUNTERS?

Hunter.
posted by Mister_A at 9:58 AM on June 9, 2009


Eh, I never got any good stories from hunting.

you have to make them up just like ted nugent does
posted by pyramid termite at 10:08 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sounds like this writer was wildly intimidated by the audience she was sharing the theater with.
posted by walrus hunter at 10:09 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


This is nowhere near "Best of the Web". This is a lame, sexist, poorly-written piece of blog trash masquerading as a movie review. I can't believe he got paid for this.

One thing makes me curious though - a bunch of you initially thought a woman wrote it. Why?
posted by cmgonzalez at 10:10 AM on June 9, 2009


The name seems possibly feminine. Although the content indicates that it's a guy. So says my uterus, and I must obey.
posted by kathrineg at 10:15 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


2) I love that at the end of the article, he has only positive things to say about the movie, and still manages to imply that he enjoyed it on a different level than the rest of the audience.
posted by He Is Only The Imposter


I find that to be rather eponysterical.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 10:31 AM on June 9, 2009


I find Zach Galifinakis hilarious, even his beard, maybe especially his beard.

I find him unbearably, delectably sexy. Especially his beard. Gorgeous, perfect beard.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 10:33 AM on June 9, 2009


Man, digging through someone's twitter feed and previous blog entries for dirt.... is this really what we've come to?

Let's face it, baby-crazy women -- the sort who squeal "cute!" in the middle of a movie every time they see a wedding dress or a baby -- are really annoying. And men are always being called idiots for "thinking with their penises" and doing stereotypically male things.

But ooooh nooo, it's about a woman so obviously it's sexist.

Bah.

But never mind that, have fun with your little shame party. I'm sure that Sicha is doing just fine making actual money from blogging. Y'all are picking through his stuff and calling him names on your own dime.
posted by Sloop John B at 10:36 AM on June 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


It took me a while before I even figured out that this article was about a movie.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:36 AM on June 9, 2009


One thing makes me curious though - a bunch of you initially thought a woman wrote it. Why?

At first I thought Choire Sicha was a woman. My mind leapt to the actress Chloê Sevigny for some reason and locked in on her gender.
posted by ericb at 10:42 AM on June 9, 2009


This article seems to want to use style as substance. Disliking the style means it has no substance. Some people may enjoy it though.
posted by hexxed at 10:45 AM on June 9, 2009


WHO SHALL HUNT THE HUNTERS?

Hunter.


Heh. My college ex-girlfriend's favorite TV show.

One of the more significant reasons for the "ex-" part.
posted by total warfare frown at 10:51 AM on June 9, 2009


Choire Sicha is a douchecunt dickhead, and an awful dresser.
posted by ghastlyfop at 10:54 AM on June 9, 2009


But never mind that, have fun with your little shame party. I'm sure that Sicha is doing just fine making actual money from blogging. Y'all are picking through his stuff and calling him names on your own dime.
No, the issue is that he is a terrible, terrible writer.
posted by ghastlyfop at 10:56 AM on June 9, 2009


People who hunt people are the luckiest people in the world.

People,
People who eat people
Are the luckiest people in the world
children eating other children
A feeling deep in your soul
you eat one half - now you're full
No more hunger and thirst
But first be a person who eats people
People, people who eat people
Are the luckiest people in the world!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:12 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
posted by The Bellman at 9:51 AM on June 9 [2 favorites -] Favorite added! [!]


I see what you did there.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 11:27 AM on June 9, 2009


People on Metafilter are mean. Just sayin'.
posted by MarshallPoe at 11:28 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'd rather be a prole than an asshole.

C'mon, buddy - don't be an assprole.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:51 AM on June 9, 2009


Buffalo shame party.
posted by xod at 11:57 AM on June 9, 2009


Until they become hunted by the people who hunt people who hunt people. That's when they have to ask themselves how lucky they feel.

Then it's a show called Dexter. If you haven't learned anything by watching Dexter, he is the most baddest ass dude and he is the ultimate game.
posted by P.o.B. at 12:13 PM on June 9, 2009


To be fair, Choire came to this movie as a way to hide out from the group of soviet spies he had double-crossed not 5 minutes earlier. Everyone knows Choire to be the debonair elite blogger playboy, who would rather bite down on the cyanide pill in his tooth and take his own life than hob-knob with the ne'er-do-wells and their ilk.

But Choire's present task was worth even a few hours of suffering, punctuated by moments of baby-bashing bliss and simple enjoyment from that Zany Zach. He had stolen mission-critical plans that would save the people of the world from themselves, freeing them from the confines of their mundane existence. He only had to find the beautiful lady-scientist, who cooed only at Choire's impeccable taste in clothing and hair care products, never babies or weddings. Together, they would save this wretched world, and make passionate love in a very classy way.

Blogging about the movie was something to keep his cover. But his tweets are honest, drunken stupidity.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:32 PM on June 9, 2009


“So pretty,” said the girl behind me.
There is a shot of a wedding dress. “So pretty,” said the girl behind me.
Later in the film, there appears a very young baby. “So cuuuute,” said the girl behind me.


it's called subtext - the words she says are "so pretty", the meaning is "dress me up nice, marry me, and I'll give you cute babies. and you have to have sex for that, you know"

the woman is trying to communicate something to her boyfriend in a nice non-threatening manner. Maybe not so stupid?
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:34 PM on June 9, 2009


the meaning is "dress me up nice, marry me, and I'll give you cute babies. and you have to have sex for that, you know"

It doesn't usually take very much. Just so you know.
posted by asusu at 12:42 PM on June 9, 2009


Sorry, I'm not getting what you mean
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:58 PM on June 9, 2009


damn, should have thought a minute more - you're pointing out that it doesn't take a lot of sex to make babies?
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 1:00 PM on June 9, 2009


Here's an idea. Maybe the dress was pretty, and maybe the baby was cute.

Or am I overthinking this?
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:05 PM on June 9, 2009


Years ago, when I was a young lad, I was playing my interpretation of chess* with my sister. She managed to pull off a brilliant move and trap my king with her pawn** which angered me violently. I was not about to let my mighty king be taken by her puny pawn, so I grabbed my king up off the board and crammed it into into my mouth, away from her prying grasp. Of course I had underestimated the distance a hand-carved wooden chess piece would protrude into my mouth, whereupon it hit my gag reflex and I instinctively coughed. The king bounced off of my teeth, rattled back and forth across my tonsils, and then got stuck sideways in my mouth. I panicked and grabbed at my throat (even though I could breathe normally, I was a bit of an actor even at that tender age), and my sister who had been studying choking hazards in 1st grade did the elementary school version of the Heimlich Maneuver on me, causing the king to fire out of my mouth and across the living room.

For years afterward, I had my sister convinced that when people were talking about the most dangerous game, they were talking about chess and that was why the audience had to sit so far away from the players at the matches.

*note: was not anything like real chess
**note 2: see above note
posted by 1f2frfbf at 1:07 PM on June 9, 2009 [8 favorites]


Kind of surprising seeing this get a post here. I mean, I enjoyed reading it at the time, but it's just a blog post about being annoyed at people in the movie theater, so it's pretty slight.

The comments here, though, it's like a pack of baboons going after another primate that dared to take a piss in their territory. NONE DARE DIRECT THE GESTALTENFORUMCUNT IN ITS HATE. THE GESTALTENFORUMCUNT HATES YOU.

It's straight-up monkey society dynamics without the slightest hint of self-consciousness.
posted by furiousthought at 1:08 PM on June 9, 2009


Not that it means anything, but The Hangover outgrossed Pixar's UP this weekend to claim the #1 slot at the box office.

Apparently most movie-goers don't read Choire Sicha...
posted by destinyland at 1:20 PM on June 9, 2009


Why does this matter?
posted by WeekendJen at 1:31 PM on June 9, 2009


NONE DARE DIRECT THE GESTALTENFORUMCUNT IN ITS HATE. THE GESTALTENFORUMCUNT HATES YOU.

It's straight-up monkey society dynamics without the slightest hint of self-consciousness.


Whoops! Your misogyny is showing!
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:39 PM on June 9, 2009


furiousthought: Most people agree with the notion that American movie goers, on a whole, are loud, obnoxious , and shallow. The ire is mostly generated at trying to write about it in a misogynistic, shallow way. Given a well written piece, we'd probably be discussing what the author was talking about instead of how poorly he talked about it.

As far as looking a person's previous works, I would do the same if it was a political piece in the WSJ or NY Times, it gives context to the person's views. In this case, it shows the author as a bigoted person who judges people by what they are wearing.
posted by zabuni at 1:47 PM on June 9, 2009


Where's the rest of the article? If I'd known it was going to be outtakes from Queer Eye, I would have used the five minutes more productively. When Kenneth Cole makes silvery baggies and flip-flops, Choire will wear them too.
posted by spacely_sprocket at 2:33 PM on June 9, 2009


Kind of surprising seeing this get a post here. I mean, I enjoyed reading it at the time, but it's just a blog post about being annoyed at people in the movie theater, so it's pretty slight.

The comments here, though, it's like a pack of baboons going after another primate that dared to take a piss in their territory. NONE DARE DIRECT THE GESTALTENFORUMCUNT IN ITS HATE. THE GESTALTENFORUMCUNT HATES YOU.

It's straight-up monkey society dynamics without the slightest hint of self-consciousness.


I think you're wildly overstating your case, most likely because you're a fan (or possibly a friend) of this person. Most of us, however, don't know this dude from Adam. And judging by this one piece—the sole specimen of his writing that I myself have ever been exposed to—the guy comes across as neither witty nor incisive, and to be honest, kind of a dick. But, whatever. He got some page views, Blart the Mall Cop got some more eyeballs, and we all got to kill a few minutes from a long, boring day discussing it. Wins all around!
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:48 PM on June 9, 2009


For some reason I'm reminded of The Thumbs of Fate: Burton and Jefferson Meet Roger Ebert at a Party."

"No movie is successful without my all-powerful thumb pointing up!
No movie can succeed when my all-powerful thumb points down...!"

posted by destinyland at 2:52 PM on June 9, 2009


Dumbass, no one thinks with their uterus, they think with their ovaries.

Personally I think with my clitoris.

I don't think I've ever seen a MeFite's work so roasted on MeFi.
posted by orange swan at 2:53 PM on June 9, 2009


Straight-up monkey shame party.
posted by xod at 3:23 PM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I hope evolutionary psychology can justify what appears to be a common trait nowadays: self-righteousness and just place it in the context of some twisted memetic natural selection monstrosity that makes everyone wheeze a collective sigh and dejectedly lose faith in humanity. Is it worthy of derision, to simply to make an observation or comment on something that titillates a person so, as the cute baby did to the random woman? The Privilege of the Grave, indeed.
posted by intelligentless at 4:26 PM on June 9, 2009


Yes, yes, my plan is coming together perfectly. Once I drive down Metafilter below 800,000 page views a month it will void Matt's advertising contracts and he will be forced to sell it to Nick Denton making Cortex and Jessamyn rich beyond their wildest Ana Marie Cox dreams.
posted by geoff. at 4:51 PM on June 9, 2009


geoff., you magnificent bastard!
posted by Mister_A at 5:30 PM on June 9, 2009


Personally I think with my clitoris.


Wait are we talking about makin' babies

or about makin' babies
posted by kathrineg at 7:01 PM on June 9, 2009


There's a potentially good article in there - on the nature of modern life, the disconnect from and tantalising appeal of something, anything, that can be held up as tangible evidence of our individual worth - but it's buried in 500+ words of the most self-centred, self-aggrandising, masturbatory shit you'll read outside of a hipster's blog. Those 500+ words boil down to "I dress and think better than those un-people around me - ergo, I am better. One way I prove this to myself is to deign to sit amongst them while pretending to review movies".

I wonder what he wears, thinks, and does on his downtime?

(Me? I wear jeans and a t-shirt, think uncharitably of self-absorbed wankers, and post on Metafilter. Hey, it gets me through the day ;-)
posted by Pinback at 7:26 PM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I hate that you all are hating on one of my biggest old-skool Mefi crushes, but at least it got him posting here again. He's alive! And in the Blue! /swoon
posted by ifjuly at 10:02 AM on June 10, 2009


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