MetaFilter

This is me, too and I too have spent thousands of dollars and decades in therapy and it doesn’t help. I don’t think there’s a word for this exactly, but I do think it relates to Attachment Theory, which holds that the bond between adults in romantic relationships is similar to that between a mother and an infant, and that a secure bond with an attachment person is needed for individuals to feel safe and thrive in the world. The book Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson does a good job explaining,... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Violet Hour at 1:19 AM on May 12, 2024

Amazing reveal in the final Graf of the Ask A Manager response demonstrating actual professional experience with pie throwing.
posted to MetaFilter by Rock Steady at 10:34 AM on May 13, 2024

Sure, if you're White
posted to MetaFilter by etherist at 4:27 PM on May 15, 2024

Good for her for at least being honest. But to be clear, HAD she found something referring to someone having two mommies, or the existence of trans* kids, or the legacies of systemic racism, or supportive of the separation of church and state, she would not have hesitated one minute to purge it. So forgive me for not exactly applauding her heroic stand for reality and reason.
posted to MetaFilter by liam665 at 1:17 PM on May 15, 2024

Hahahahahahahahahaha as someone who watched all of the TX school board hearings on the state's textbook adoptions last year I have zero surprise that these fucking idiots have never read their own fucking curriculum. May they all suffer a million years of unabated ass shingles.
posted to MetaFilter by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 12:06 PM on May 15, 2024

What's absolutely horrific about this story is that it's well-known that TX school boards are the primary driver of the national public school textbook industry, and their prejudices determine the contents of school textbooks used across the country. The fact that "her fellow Republicans," i.e. backwards ignorant racist and sexist choads, are who are making these decisions says a lot about the likely future of this country.
posted to MetaFilter by Pedantzilla at 12:06 PM on May 15, 2024

My first thought is that it will be much, much kinder towards yourself - both your current self and your future self - if you understand what you're going through as "trying to process your feelings about your mother and her death," rather than taking your thoughts at face value as "you need to find out details about your mother's death and her will".

The estrangement happened for a reason. You closed the final door on having any relationship with... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by MiraK at 5:15 AM on May 15, 2024

The intersection of capitalism, Americanism, aging, and womanhood is brutal. More power to the women taking the off-ramp and forging their own path.
posted to MetaFilter by cocoagirl at 2:55 PM on May 14, 2024

Loved Jinkx, what a great role for someone who is so good at playing those intense camp angles! I hope to see more drag queens in future Who episodes please RTD.
posted to FanFare by fight or flight at 5:50 AM on May 11, 2024

I thought this was really bad. When the babies weren't talking, they looked miserable. When they were talking, they looked like they'd been given the Mister Ed treatment. The monster was a literal boogerman, who they had a last-minute change of heart about; where's that thing supposed to go when they get to the planet?

In the end, everyone is saved by a diaper blowout. The whole thing played out like a rejected sci-fi episode of Rugrats. Very odd and offputting choice... [more]
posted to FanFare by jordemort at 9:13 PM on May 13, 2024

Look, I get not wanting to make waves with family. But this is your retirement plan we're talking about. Why risk even a little bit of it to make someone else feel more comfortable?

The financial advisor doesn't seem to charge any fees directly, at least not as far as we can tell.

This is not a good thing! You actually WANT a "fee-only financial advisor." Fee-only financial advisors are required to act as... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by cooker girl at 7:36 AM on May 7, 2024 marked best answer

Poor Americans have neither time nor money, nor access to the basic necessities for a healthy, dignified life. To hell with Facebook and Tesla.
posted to MetaFilter by The Manwich Horror at 3:02 AM on May 8, 2024

Earning more is, in part, an American choice that is not shared by other nations.

Everything's free in America, for a small fee in America.
posted to MetaFilter by flabdablet at 2:28 AM on May 8, 2024

Having lived in both places, Europe > the US, on most objective measures (healthcare, transit, etc) . American society is not only unsustainable, in many ways it's so dysfunctional it barely qualifies as a society.
posted to MetaFilter by Pseudonymous Cognomen at 2:07 AM on May 8, 2024

Recently, someone asked me what my "dream job" was and I was amazed by what a fucking american question that was.

Like, what's your dream colonoscopy?

I don't wanna fucking work. I wanna drink wine, read books, and sit around with my spouse and dog.
posted to MetaFilter by DirtyOldTown at 5:35 AM on May 8, 2024

> The concept is simple: Copy a list of relevant keywords or the job description itself, paste it in a résumé and change the font color to white. The hope is that AI bots or digital filters in applicant tracking systems read the white text and surface the résumé for human review. Because keywords are in white, the résumé will look normal to human reviewers.

This hack is at least 8 years old because I was advised to do it back in 2016.
posted to MetaFilter by MiraK at 12:07 PM on May 7, 2024

The geomagnetic storm just got upgraded to a G5. This is the strongest one we've had in 20 or more years.

I just happened to have tuned up my bike over the last couple of days. And now my camera batteries are charged, I actually found my tripod, my cable shutter release and my filters, I have some clean memory cards - and I've been waiting for this one for days (well, years, really) and taking it easy to pace myself with my long covid fatigue to try to get out there for... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by loquacious at 6:02 PM on May 10, 2024

In trying to curb certain behaviors in people like this, the most important thing is to not make an excuse because the other person will immediately solve your fake problem and continue on with the behavior you were trying to curb. For example, if they want to do X and you say you have to wash your hair/have an appointment/whatever, they will say no problem, we can do it tomorrow! I'll wash your hair for you! Whatever. So try to find statements that can't be sidestepped. For your situation, I... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by kate blank at 11:49 AM on May 10, 2024

they sucked his brains out!
posted to MetaFilter by They sucked his brains out! at 12:33 PM on May 8, 2024

That makes the context even more gross. What an asshole.
posted to MetaFilter by RonButNotStupid at 11:23 AM on May 8, 2024

Mercury poisoning is a real thing that happens. But it can also be a quack diagnosis coming from the same wellspring as anti-vax nonsense.

The context for all this information is gross.Some of Mr. Kennedy’s health issues were revealed in the 2012 deposition, which he gave during divorce proceedings from his second wife, Mary Richardson Kennedy. At the time, Mr. Kennedy was arguing that his earning power had been diminished by his cognitive struggles.
So in... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Nelson at 11:13 AM on May 8, 2024

There are some bits of news that my only reaction is "reality is just fucking with me now."

This is one of those.
posted to MetaFilter by NoxAeternum at 11:07 AM on May 8, 2024

Urgent care or ER! And report back, long time mefite mygothlaundry, so that we know that you are okay! This seems like one of those things that could move from "treatable with antibiotics" to "in the ICU" in a couple of days if you don't act.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:59 AM on May 7, 2024

You gotta go to the ER. Don't fuck around with big potential infections near the brain.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 10:54 AM on May 7, 2024

I would go to ER, not urgent care ER, real ER. And go asap. Hope it's nothing, but don't wait.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jraz at 10:49 AM on May 7, 2024

Aw, I liked this one when I was a kid! A colony of creepy underground bomb-worshipping mutants? What's not to like? And that ending voiceover! "... a green and insignificant planet is now dead." The only way they could have improved on it was to add Charleton Heston's echoing voice screaming "You blew it even more up! Double damn you! Double damn you all to even more hell!"
posted to FanFare by phooky at 9:33 AM on October 18, 2022

It's got to be hard to feel like you're the king of comedy and then one day and wake up and realize that you're not as funny as dril.
posted to MetaFilter by phooky at 9:08 AM on April 30, 2024

hi everyone, i'm bombastic lowercase pronouncements and this is my woo.

so let's talk about the concept of boltzmann brains and the related concept of boltzmann universes. a note before we start properly: boltzmann brains are not my woo, and i'm kind of uninterested in arguing about the mathematical plausibility or whatever behind the boltzmann brain thought experiment — which is as i see it functionally equivalent to arguing about the plausibility of the... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 7:26 AM on May 3, 2024

Like what does "Never again" mean?

To me, that was the most interesting and central point of the article. As someone raised Jewish, what I’d thoughtwas being instilled in me was Never Again (for anyone, ever), but the last several years have had me questioning if I just missed the point, and ascribed an utterly undeserved altruism to the faith I was raised in. It’s been hard for me to properly articulate it, this... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Ghidorah at 3:51 PM on April 25, 2024

Let’s say you were a normal unarmed human civilian person. How would you stop one of these?

Throw rope or fabric at them. I have yet to see a robot that can handle the chaos of flexible rope or fabric without getting tangled up.

You do know where your towel is, don't you?
posted to MetaFilter by loquacious at 7:19 AM on May 2, 2024

I kind of liked the ideas in this article, but I thought it didn't go far enough to articulate the nuances and differences between a great show and a "mid" show. I would like to build on it and try to articulate what I wish it had.

I think the difference between mid TV and really good TV is vision, or ethos, or whatever the word is for "something unique that the show is trying to do/say/showcase, underneath its... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by MiraK at 6:59 AM on April 27, 2024

man, yeah, as much as I enjoyed the leaping-through-time parts, at times it did feel like a parody of clip shows or maybe even that one episode of Lower Decks where they just kind of leap around from one improbably extreme scenario to another without context

this show sure has had a lot of entire-universe-threatening dangers, huh
posted to FanFare by DoctorFedora at 6:48 PM on April 22, 2024

Reno's "Are you stuck in a time loop, Stamets?" was such a perfect and perfectly delivered line I wish they'd run with it instead of backing off and making like it was a joke.
posted to FanFare by Pryde at 9:37 PM on April 19, 2024

Last dialogue whinge, I promise, and then it'll be out of my system. I thought that this episode was a perfect example of how the writers snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, and how the bad dialogue makes perfectly fine dialogue worse.

In one of the first two episodes of this season (can't remember which), Culber name-drops his abuela completely randomly in the middle of a throwaway remark about how he doesn't know anything about some people (Moll and L'ak).... [more]
posted to FanFare by confluency at 2:58 AM on April 15, 2024

and also WHY IS THERE NOT MORE GOTH FOR AND BY OLD PEOPLE. WHY DO ONLY YOUNG PEOPLE MOAN ABOUT DEATH. GOTH SHOULD BECOME MORE INTENSE AS YOU APPROACH THE GRAVE, NOT LESS. WHAT THE FUCK
posted to MetaFilter by phooky at 5:31 AM on April 26, 2024

Good thing we spent all that money upgrading our ventilation systems in response to COVID, right? /padme
posted to MetaFilter by Horace Rumpole at 2:22 PM on April 22, 2024

I remember the first time I got some kind of temporary weird condition in my early 30s that took a while to fix - some stomach ache issue or whatever. Took a few months to resolve with beta blockers. And I was all surprise pikachu face to be restricted in what I could eat and having to take certain pills and complaining why was it taaaaking so looooong to go away at the doctors office one day and my GP looked me dead in the eye and was like “those of you who have grown up in good health take it... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by St. Peepsburg at 12:05 PM on April 24, 2024

Here are pictures of our last 5k costumes, and our 5k in Juneau.
posted to MetaFilter by gmatom at 8:20 AM on April 24, 2024

gmatom, what a beautiful elegy for your wife. Count me as another internet stranger who is sorry for your loss.
posted to MetaFilter by turbowombat at 7:39 AM on April 24, 2024

Yes, favoriting seems an inadequate response for that comment.
posted to MetaFilter by praemunire at 7:32 AM on April 24, 2024

gmatom - I just want to thank you for sharing that with us. With me. I don't have the presence of mind to unspool all the ways in which it's connecting to me but please just know that it's beautiful and this internet stranger is sitting in a coffee shop feeling very emotionally full. Thank you so much for this gift.
posted to MetaFilter by Tomorrowful at 6:51 AM on April 24, 2024

(Apologies, this got long)
Oh this hits so close to home. Not for me, but for my wife. We both came to running later in life (I was 35, she was ten years older than me and started a few years later when she was almost 50). When we were first married, running meant running to the store to buy a pack of cinnamon rolls to split.

But after we started running, we both fell in love with being active, for different reasons. For me, it was the first time... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by gmatom at 6:22 AM on April 24, 2024

Legion is still some of the best work he's ever done. In that show, Noah Hawley (the mind behind the TV version of Fargo) took an incidental Marvel character and made a truly bonkers, borderline psychedelic show about him.
posted to MetaFilter by DirtyOldTown at 8:13 AM on April 24, 2024

Watching Dan Stevens and Aubrey Plaza bounce off each other in season one of Legion was a real pleasure. It had a lot of other things going for it, but the interactions of those two actors was absolutely what pushed it over the top, in every sense.
posted to MetaFilter by Kattullus at 5:02 AM on April 24, 2024

Jebus effing fuck that’s beautiful

I’ll never get tired of looking at pictures taken of space or from space
posted to MetaFilter by Kattullus at 1:38 PM on April 24, 2024

tl;dr

"Any Salad Can Be A Caesar Salad (if you stab it enough)"
posted to MetaFilter by lalochezia at 8:26 AM on April 23, 2024

I'm on team if you're going to put an classic item on a restaurant menu without further description, it better be what a person would expect.

There's no problem with changing recipes / techniques just be upfront about it and nobody will be upset.

From the article....

Last week, I called up Stewart Gary, the culinary director of Nitehawk Cinema, the Brooklyn dine-in movie theater where I ordered that... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by WaterAndPixels at 7:21 AM on April 23, 2024

Periodic, though off-topic, reminder that The Atlantic is edited by David Frum, who is implicated in war crimes committed by the regime of George W Bush.
posted to MetaFilter by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 6:16 AM on April 23, 2024

in many cases it's far too late for most of us to avoid being "known" & "perceived" in this way

I will never cease to be grateful for being alive in the paranoid 1990s, and being assiduous about scrubbing information accordingly. Instead, I get advertising targeted for what it thinks based on my generic age and gender. Which is fucking horrifying.

I also want to write a paper... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by corb at 5:27 AM on April 23, 2024

If this is a difference of cultural expectations and customs around new-baby visits, can you just explicitly frame it that way for your mom? It's weird to treat it as though your wife's preferences were the natural or default kind while your mom's model is culture-bound. Could you say to your mom some subset of the following:

--I know you're eager to help, but in the white culture my wife is from, breastfeeding is very high-status and they're afraid that if anybody... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Bardolph at 12:19 PM on April 22, 2024 marked best answer