What's That?

November 12, 2005 9:25 AM

What's That? Sadly, the education of the youth of amerika is declining in more than one way. The other day I was at the grocery store and the checker was unable to identify a portabello mushroom. And no, she wasn't new...and to make matters worse the checker next to her didn't know either. (more inside)
posted by MiHail (1026 comments total)

What, have they cut funding for mycology classes?
posted by mmahaffie at 9:29 AM on November 12, 2005 [3 favorites]

I really do hate to be snarky here, but when did they teach the virtues of culinary fungal usage in school?

Okay, maybe I don't hate.
posted by onedarkride at 9:30 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

It's spelled "America," do you even use the spellcheck tool?
posted by rxrfrx at 9:30 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

maybe she was eating too many of these mushrooms
posted by jonmc at 9:30 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: Your blog is my blog too
posted by Hands of Manos at 9:30 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Yours is surely a hard lot, my friend. Your fortitude in the face of such an outrage is an inspiration to us all. How you summon the strength to keep on living in the aftermath I can't possibly imagine.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 9:31 AM on November 12, 2005 [7 favorites]

I find your views interesting where can I subscribe to your 'blog?
posted by Mitheral at 9:31 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Yes, education does seem to a bit on a downhill slope these days. We need more funding for edible fungi education.

Just for the record, you might want to capitalize proper nouns like America. Which is, incidentally, spelled with a 'c'.
posted by codswallop at 9:33 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

whur tf is the mi
posted by Count Ziggurat at 9:33 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

It's also spelled portobello. Sadly, the education of the youth in blah blah blah
posted by Wolfdog at 9:33 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Hehe... Inshallah, ze shtupid Amerikans will recognize dis mushroom when we strike down upon ze Great Satan.

<diabolical laughter>

GYOB, MH.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:34 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

this is a joke, right?
posted by dabitch at 9:34 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

So I had to tell her what it was and she looked it up in her little produce cheat sheet since it didn't have one of those ubiquitous PLU codes. That started me wondering...what exactly do those codes mean? (sorry, you have to subscribe to read the entire article, but the essentials are on the first page). Here's the apple association's explanation. There's even a website where you can look up PLUs for all kinds of things (Warning: I had some trouble with this site).

I've read articles about this phenomenon happening but couldn't quite believe it until it happened to me.

But to perk us all up, here are a couple recipes I found which sound mighty yummy: a portobello risotto and a really great sounding grilled stuffed portabello that I intend to try as soon as I can!
posted by MiHail at 9:35 AM on November 12, 2005 [3 favorites]

No no, Wolfdog, when that spelling is used they mean the portable kind.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:35 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Gee, thanks everyone, for giving me some time to write my "more inside" comments.
posted by MiHail at 9:35 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning about mushrooms?
posted by goatdog at 9:35 AM on November 12, 2005 [5 favorites]

Poor MiHail. His/her one and only other FPP was mocked for not utilizing [more inside].
posted by Gator at 9:35 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

'course back in my day the education system believed the the three r's: readin' 'n' writin' 'n' recognizin' mushrumps..
posted by Wolfdog at 9:36 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

MiHail, if this isn't a joke I feel sorry for you now. :/
posted by dabitch at 9:36 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

so you want this to be on the standardized tests that the kids are all studying for now?

being more along the lines of Benjamin Franklin's take on food: meh.
posted by Busithoth at 9:36 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

MiHail - give you time? Did you think this was plastic.com? ;)
posted by dabitch at 9:37 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

MiHail, did you read the mefi guidlines about posting a FPP? This was an awful FPP and more "blogish" than informative.
posted by Hands of Manos at 9:37 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Also, MiHail, it's a good idea to prepare your [more inside] in advance, so you can be assured of posting it in the first comment.
posted by Gator at 9:39 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

this picture of portobello mushrooms is not the best one on the web.
posted by puddles at 9:40 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

MiHail writes "Gee, thanks everyone, for giving me some time to write my 'more inside' comments."

MiHail, may I suggest a few changes to your posting style
a) less editorializing
b) make you best link the header link
c) have your MI ready before posting the outside
d) be gracious when people snarkily point out a-c in a sure to be deleted FPP.
posted by Mitheral at 9:40 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

i mean it IS, it IS the best
posted by puddles at 9:40 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Sorry about the earlier snark, MiHail, but I started believing the [more inside] would never actually ever happen. I'm geeky enough to dig PLU codes - I would particularly like to know if the system is used worldwide - but don't you think this post would work better if you made the FP bit slightly more interesting than a personal anecdote and a link to an image of a mushroom?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:41 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Did she not know that it was a mushroom, or did she just not know that it was a portobello mushroom? I think the latter is pretty forgivable.

Anyway, I think it's more disturbing that 36% of British schoolkids don't know that chips are made out of potatoes.
posted by chrismear at 9:42 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

"Did you think this was plastic.com?"

++goodgood
;-P . - luv m
posted by mischief at 9:43 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

rxrfrx and codswallop, you are complete twits. Spelling "America" as "amerika" was DELIBERATE. Maybe you could get a job. As a checker at a grocery store.

My overall point was that perhaps one of the reasons why kids are unable to identify a relatively simple item such as a portabello mushroom is that they are not being exposed to such foods EVEN THOUGH THEY WORK in a grocery store. The only food groups they can identify are fries, pizza, and hamburgers. Now if I'd gone up there with a nicely cello-wrapped package of presliced white button mushrooms, she'd have no problem even knowing what was in the box; that's what the bar code is for, after all. The united states (and yes, THAT was deliberate too) vaunts itself as having more and more sophisticated palates, i.e. we're more willing to try unusual tastes, but then one runs across things like this where, I suspect, this person was raised on a steady diet of hamburger helper or something.
posted by MiHail at 9:43 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

Well clearly this is a dumb post and this isn't the place to be posting about what happened to you today.

What's interesting, though, is that it needn't have been a dumb post. If multiple cashiers can't identify a mushroom, that doesn't mean they're poorly educated. As others have pointed out, mushroom identification is not well-represented on standardized tests and therefore not taught by schools.

However, it is still telling and interesting that a disadvantaged segment of the population can't identify what would be reasonably well-known among a (even slightly) more privileged set. And most telling that it isn't really a money thing -- it's not like the cashier couldn't afford a portabello mushroom, so this isn't the same as her not knowing how to identify different kinds of golf clubs.

So what this speaks to isn't lack of education or lack of money, but isolation. Disadvantaged people often lack meaningful social ties to the more advantaged and as a result they live in different worlds. Things well-known in one world can be essentially unheard of in another.

This post actually reminded me of this Atlantic Monthly article about people in Tunica County Mississippi and the casinos built there. Specifically it reminded me of the woman who didn't know what toast was.

So yes, a dumb post, and I flagged it as such. But surely it need not have been dumb. That's the sad part...he could have done some looking around and found some links that would actually shed some light on this issue. I would do some looking and post them here, but I expect the thread will be deleted soon.
posted by duck at 9:44 AM on November 12, 2005 [3 favorites]

And also know that the slightest infration precieved will bring down the wrath of commenters who just wait and get off on posting clever remarks as put downs...
posted by Postroad at 9:44 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

I liked MiHail's FPP (with the added more inside goodness). But regarding MiHail's complaint, you have to be ready for Internet time. 6 minutes is an eternity for a FPP to go without the inside goodness.

The open secret is that you prepare your "inside" text well in advance, and you cut-and-paste it into place immeidately after you post your story.

But, yes, people can seem to be asses when responding to your story. It happens. Gotta have the thick skin if you post stories.
posted by jmccorm at 9:45 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

I blame GTA.
posted by iamck at 9:46 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

When did portobello mushrooms get popular in the US? I feel old that it was probably after my schooling was completed.
posted by smackfu at 9:46 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Postroad:

... the slightest infration precieved will bring down the wrath of commenters ...

Perhaps your meant infraction?
posted by jmccorm at 9:47 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

"on posting clever remarks as put downs..." since 1999
posted by Hands of Manos at 9:47 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

rxrfrx and codswallop, you are complete twits. Spelling "America" as "amerika" was DELIBERATE.

And not cliched at all. I'm still waiting for "U$."


Maybe you could get a job. As a checker at a grocery store.

I worked in grocery stores for five years. Drag yourself out of bed at 6 in the morning, put on an apron, unload trucks, mop up disgusting stains, listen to kvetching customers, and squalling kids, all for the princely sum of minnimum wage, and see how much you like listening to self-important shitheads like yourself give botany refreshers.
posted by jonmc at 9:50 AM on November 12, 2005 [11 favorites]

In elementary, they teach you what mushrooms are, but I don't believe that types of edible mushrooms are covered in great detail during junior high or high school. Too human specific for biology or general science. Perhaps learning the various types of supermarket mushrooms would be more of a home-economics class type of issue. But that is an elective.

Generally, you don't seen teenagers getting all involved in things like mushrooms and cheeses. That is the kind of stuff you find of importance when you get older.
posted by jmccorm at 9:51 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

OK, MiHail, your "united states" was as deliberate as your "amerika", but why?

GYOLJFW
posted by emelenjr at 9:51 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Hands of Manos: I enjoy your handle very much. It is the handle I enjoy.
posted by jmccorm at 9:52 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

I tried to buy a piece of Havarti cheese the other day, and the cashier rang it up as Gruyere. Truly, we are all doomed.
posted by nyterrant at 9:52 AM on November 12, 2005 [6 favorites]

but then one runs across things like this where, I suspect, this person was raised on a steady diet of hamburger helper or something.

I've eaten my share. Tuna Helper, too. Meatloaf, rice-a-roni and canned vegetables, too. I've managed to survive, you cadillac commie.
posted by jonmc at 9:53 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

Yesterday, I went to Office Depot to buy an office chair. I pulled the little tag on the display and handed it to the cashier. She scanned it, and informed me that the chair was out of stock. I pointed out a display of nine unopened boxes containing this particular chair, approximately ten feet away from her. She ignored me and began checking out the person behind me in line.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:53 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

MiHail, now that I'm mostly finished seeming to be an ass getting off posting clever, er whatever it was -- plucodes.com was potentially the most interesting link and probably should have been right up front in your post. Except it does seem rather broken. The "what do the codes mean" link seems like it would have been interesting too but I can't read most of it. All in all, problematic.
Portobello risotto is yummy, and as far as posting - maybe third time's the charm.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:53 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Listen - I'm not American, I'm middle-class and I'm very well educated. I even know how to spell Portobello. And I couldn't identify a Portobello Mushroom if I spent a romantic weekend in Paris with one, got married and had lots of little Portobello Mushroom children that I had to support by toiling for twenty years down the Portobello Mushroom mines.

The ability of identifying Portobello Mushrooms is, I suggest, a marker of nothing more significant than inate mushroom-recognition skill.
posted by flashboy at 9:53 AM on November 12, 2005 [10 favorites]

A mistake like this might be excusable. It is not excusable though when you go to a specialty cheese shop, ask for emmentaler, are told by the cashier that he does not have any, and are then asked whether you would like emmentaler. Those are the kind of mistakes that are disturbing.
posted by inconsequentialist at 9:56 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

A mistake like this might be excusable. It is not excusable though when you go to a specialty cheese shop, ask for emmentaler, are told by the cashier that he does not have any, and are then asked whether you would like emmentaler. Those are the kind of mistakes that are disturbing.

It's even worse when they have no cheese at all and you have to shoot them.
posted by jonmc at 9:58 AM on November 12, 2005 [12 favorites]

nothing more significant than inate mushroom-recognition skill
Or, to be fair, possibly mushroom-recoginition skill hard-earned through diligence and toil.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:58 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

When I read:

self-important shitheads like yourself give botany refreshers.

...I was pretty sure it was the funniest thing I had ever read on MeFi. Then I read this:

Listen - I'm not American, I'm middle-class and I'm very well educated. I even know how to spell Portobello. And I couldn't identify a Portobello Mushroom if I spent a romantic weekend in Paris with one, got married and had lots of little Portobello Mushroom children that I had to support by toiling for twenty years down the Portobello Mushroom mines.

flashboy wins.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 9:58 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

posted by jmccorm Generally, you don't seen teenagers getting all involved in things like mushrooms and cheeses. That is the kind of stuff you find of importance when you get older.

Well, in my town, teenage vegetable and cheese gangs are a huge problem--we've recently been through two turf wars with the northern fruit and wine gangs, and in recent months the processed-food kids have been causing all sorts of trouble.
posted by fandango_matt at 9:59 AM on November 12, 2005 [4 favorites]

Not to pile on, but "portobello" aka "Portabella" ad. infi. is not even an authentic mycological term. It's a marketing term, invented to sell overgrown (and, granted, delicious when grilled) button mushrooms.
posted by digaman at 9:59 AM on November 12, 2005 [3 favorites]

MiHail's phrasing of the situation -- "unable to identify" a portobello mushroom -- is now causing me to think of an amusing situation in which MiHail drags a series of traumatized young cashiers into a police station, forcing them to look at mushroom lineups and mugshots so as to identify the offending portobello.
posted by Gator at 9:59 AM on November 12, 2005 [3 favorites]

Well, in my town, teenage vegetable and cheese gangs are a huge problem--we've recently been through two turf wars with the northern fruit and wine gangs, and in recent months the processed-food kids have been causing all sorts of trouble.

Wait until the sushi and wasabi gangs start muscling in, it'll drive the property values of the whole buffett down, I tell ya!
posted by jonmc at 10:00 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Show us on the mushroom where Porto Bello touched you.
posted by fandango_matt at 10:01 AM on November 12, 2005 [4 favorites]

I couldn't recognize a portawhatever 'shroom. But, I don't work in a grocery store either.
posted by marxchivist at 10:01 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Or, to be fair, possibly mushroom-recoginition skill hard-earned through diligence and toil.

Oh sure, you can learn to be a good mushroom-recogniser. But a great one? Nah. That shit's something you're born with.
posted by flashboy at 10:01 AM on November 12, 2005 [4 favorites]

delete delete delete
posted by angry modem at 10:02 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

IF I LOOKING FOR FROG
posted by Krrrlson at 10:02 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

rxrfrx and codswallop, you are complete twits. Spelling "America" as "amerika" was DELIBERATE

If you can be snarky, can't I be smarmy?
posted by codswallop at 10:02 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

P.S. I'll identify my mushroom
posted by fandango_matt at 10:03 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Mushroom mushroom.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:04 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

OK, this is EXACTLY why I've become a longtime lurker rather than active poster. I've tried to avoid (a) newsfilter posts (2) political posts (3) posting at all because this is ALWAYS the same kind of crap that I get, and it boils down to "your post is crap." I was trying to post something different, folks.

My overall point was that (1) here was someone whose job is to sell food, and could not identify a (relatively) common food item, because they have become dependant on those four-number PLUs and barcodes to do their job. Their job is to stand there with the drool running down their chins and pass your purchases in front of a machine or maybe punch a few numbers into a keypad occasionally. When confronted with an item with neither of these conveniences, they couldn't figure out what it was. Which brings me to point number (2): I find the fact that this young woman had obviously never had a delicious grilled portabello (and by the way, there are MANY accepted spellings--portabello, portobello, even portobella) burger somehow very sad.

I just love metafilter, read it very often, but really really really HATE the "your post sux" comments that every infrequent poster seems to get. Did you stop to consider that maybe there's a reason WHY I don't post frequently? It's because there are post flamers out there that are always very eager to point out what was wrong about a given post rather than consider the content itself.

I felt like to start a post such as this out with a personal anecdote because otherwise I most certainly would have gotten "why the hell are you posting this stupid boring shit" comments. Providing the reason for the post seemed eminently logical to me. And yes, I used "more inside" because I'd been attacked for that. Now I'm being attacked for not having properly prepared to immediately dump my "more inside" comments quickly enough.

Therefore, I will go back once again to lurk mode since what Metafilter seems to become is a place to beat up posters, rather than consider that a post might have merit.

FWIW, I personally find the waxing/processing/labeling of everything we eat rather creepy. Somewhere some computer is tabulating the fact that I really, really like Braeburn apples.

Back to lurk status.
posted by MiHail at 10:04 AM on November 12, 2005 [4 favorites]

angry modem: Delete? Are you kidding? This is one of the funnier discussions evar!
posted by jmccorm at 10:05 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

I couldn't recognize a portawhatever 'shroom. But, I don't work in a grocery store either.

Marxchivist, you wouldn't recognize a portobello mushroom if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing "Portobello Mushrooms Are Here Again."
posted by Gator at 10:05 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

MiHail: No.... don't lurk. The shock to you may be that you've succeeded brilliantly. What is better than making a FPP that someone reads is making a FPP that people respond to. And a funny one. Sure, you may have been the butt of some jokes, but as far as FPPs go, this beats the socks off of an droll intellectual story that nobody clicks and nobody bothers to reply to.
posted by jmccorm at 10:08 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

MiHail maybe you should move to Canada or Europe or some place where the education system isn't failing the youth.
posted by thirteenkiller at 10:09 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

So let me get this straight, MH... You're upset because the cashier didn't know what a portobello (yes, THAT was deliberate) mushroom was!?

Unless this was some small mom 'n pop grocery store, I find your outrage completely misplaced. The grocery store my brother manages is enormous; with in-house bakery, deli, butchery, pharmacy, and even home furniture departments. Don't tell me you expect a cashier -- who sees literally thousands of products in front of them, daily -- to know every single item you deign to purchase. If you'd asked someone in the produce department, they'd be much more (read: 90-99%) likely to know about your lovely little sub-category of mushrooms.

A cashier's job is to ring through your order. They don't have the time -- or the wage to justify -- knowing every single product in the store. (That comes with time and repeated exposure to the codes and products. And special products which are not always stocked, can cause problems. It usually involves a call to the department for a price check. Believe it or not, price checks are fairly routine.)

Frankly, the general tenor of your post -- complete with mis-spelling portobello mushroom -- was pretty arrogant. You called the cashier, essentially, an uncultured, hamburger-helper munching idiot, because they didn't know anything about mushrooms you don't care enough to spell properly. Why exactly should I be nice to you?

Your [more inside] was informative. However, you might want to read our guidelines before crying victim. Get off the cross, we need the kindling.
posted by Dark Messiah at 10:11 AM on November 12, 2005 [5 favorites]

Therefore, I will go back once again to lurk mode

It's always the right idea to go with your strengths, but few of us recognize what they truly are. Good for you!
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:14 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

you wouldn't recognize a portobello mushroom if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing "Portobello Mushrooms Are Here Again."

That wasn't addressed to me but I would recognize a portobello, a large portobello. In fact, if you've got a moment, I would recognize a twelve-storey portobello with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeted throughout; twenty-four hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying 'This is a Large Portobello'.
posted by codswallop at 10:14 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

My overall point was that (1) here was someone whose job is to sell food, and could not identify a (relatively) common food item, because they have become dependant on those four-number PLUs and barcodes to do their job. Their job is to stand there with the drool running down their chins and pass your purchases in front of a machine or maybe punch a few numbers into a keypad occasionally. When confronted with an item with neither of these conveniences, they couldn't figure out what it was. Which brings me to point number (2): I find the fact that this young woman had obviously never had a delicious grilled portabello (and by the way, there are MANY accepted spellings--portabello, portobello, even portobella) burger somehow very sad.

I think the problem isn't that it started with an anecdote so much as that it ended with an anecdote. If those were your points, why didn't you find some articles about the deskilling of labour, its causes and consequences? About how and why diets vary across different segments of the population?
posted by duck at 10:14 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

That's not so bad. America's education is really in trouble with cashiers can't recognize Super Mushrooms.
posted by Servo5678 at 10:15 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

The grocery store my brother manages is enormous; with in-house bakery, deli, butchery, pharmacy, and even home furniture departments.

Your brother dosen't manage this place(which along with the aforementioned features an inhouse dairy, ice cream stand, animatronic country-music singing dairy products, wandering costumed characters and a fucking petting zoo), does he?

I spent the weirdest year of my life working an overnight shift as a baker's helper there when I was 21. 90% of my co workers we're recent immigrants. This must have been a baffling introduction to America for them.
posted by jonmc at 10:16 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

middle class twit looks down on poor working girl because she doesn't know what a portabello mushroom is ... then posts a link to a picture of a mushroom to metafilter expecting us to join him in his disdain of hamburger helper cash register punching morons

free clue - she's kept her job a hell of a lot longer than matt's going to keep this pitiful excuse for a fpp
posted by pyramid termite at 10:18 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

Somewhere some computer is tabulating the fact that I really, really like Braeburn apples.
Probably half of them were misidentified as Gala or Jonagold, so I think you're safe.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:18 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

MiHail, please don't be discouraged from posting. I would hate it if the reaction to your post kept you from contributing.

The point I would like to make is that MeFi is a busy place and there are many posts appearing on the front page every day. If all people see on the FP is a personal anecdote (regardless of whether it's an interesting one or not) and a link to an image of a foodstuff, it's really difficult to be interested. And yes, using [more inside] is an excellent practice and yes, it's best to have it prepared in advance for pasting right after your FPP - people (me included) are triggerhappy on commenting, it's a mild but persistent kind of ADD that comes free with MeFi membership - but none of that really matters when the FPP itself is so light on actual content.

Seriously, I'd love to see a post on PLU codes (or education, or whatever your intended topic was), but Metafilter is all about the links, and excessive editorialising is frowned upon. Please don't let this keep you from contributing.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 10:20 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Jon: wow, just fuckin' wow... It's kind of frightening to conceptualize a store that massive.

We do have a Farmboy store that has huge 8 foot tall mechnical hillbillies (with banjos!), but that doesn't top your link.

Also, I thought the restaurant industry has the market cornered when it comes to immigrant labour.
posted by Dark Messiah at 10:21 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

They don't have the time -- or the wage to justify -- knowing every single product in the store..

You know, it always amazes me that the cashiers at Bulk Barn always do seem to be able to identify all the products they sell. I can walk in and buy three different kinds of flour, some baking powder, baking soda, pancake mix, cake or muffin mix and any number of things that basically amount to white or off-white powder and they never have to ask and they always get it right (I know because you can see on the screen what they rang up "432g Pastry Flour" "792g Complete Pancake Mix" etc.).

Ditto spices that are all crushed up leaves, and different varieties or rice and all sorts of other things. Maybe the OP should do more of his shopping at Bulk Barn.
posted by duck at 10:21 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

We summered in Puerto Bello once, it was nice but a little clammy at night.
posted by fenriq at 10:21 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

how to make a mushroom out of george washington's head

you did have a dollar bill with you, didn't you? ... perhaps you should have demonstrated for her ... or are dollar bills too low class for you to carry around?
posted by pyramid termite at 10:21 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

as far as FPPs go, this beats the socks off of an droll intellectual story that nobody clicks and nobody bothers to reply to

No it doesn't. Honest.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:22 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Jon: wow, just fuckin' wow... It's kind of frightening to conceptualize a store that massive.

Just to make it more interesting, the owner and founder went to prison for a few years on tax charges, right after I left.
posted by jonmc at 10:24 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Duck: like I said in the brackets, given enough time the codes become engrained. I worked in a meat department and had somewhere between 300 and 400 codes memorised.
posted by Dark Messiah at 10:24 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

I may be wrong, but a cashier's job isn't to know what every item in the store is. Have you BEEN to a decently sized grocery store? How could anyone know every single item in it? Their job is to make sure you get charged the right price for your item. If that means asking you what it is, so be it.

If you had gone to a small local market, where this person with the cashbox was the daughter/son of the person who had grown all this stuff...or if you had gone to a mushroom shop, I could handle your outrage.

As it is...heck, I work in retail, and I can't identify the purpose of every piece of electronic accessory that we supply. There are too many, and I don't have experience with them all.
posted by ArsncHeart at 10:24 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

MiHail - don't let the door hit you on the way out.

As a former grocery store cashier, it's pricks like you that made me hate my job. Don't assume that just because I work at a store that I actually eat everything there. What is common to you might not be common to someone else no matter how self-important you feel.
posted by Stynxno at 10:25 AM on November 12, 2005 [3 favorites]

Your condescention, as jonmc already pointed out, towards people working a register at a supermarket is obnoxious (especially when paired with your implied kindergarten protests against "amerikkka"). It must pain you greatly that poor people don't know what a big mushroom is called and have never grilled one up at a Sunday BBQ (maybe they were working).
posted by Falconetti at 10:25 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

The angered response to us not "getting" the deep complexity of posting a picture of a mushroom to the front page has made this into one of the greaterst threads ever.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 10:26 AM on November 12, 2005 [4 favorites]

really HATE the "your post sux" comments that every infrequent poster seems to get.

MiHail, I just posted my very first FPP yesterday, and nobody even came close to giving me a hard time about it. Of course, I wasn't "trying to be different," like you -- I was just posting a link to a site that had games for playing. But I lurked here for years, finally registered this summer but still refrained from posting, finally started making comments here and there just recently, and by the time I was ready to take the FPP plunge I knew what the conventions were for doing so.

It's an exaggeration to say that people are "attacking" you in this thread. At worst, it's been the equivalent of teasing the freshman who didn't realize there's no pool on the roof of the high school. Like that freshman, if you stick around and participate, you'll get the hang of the environment.
posted by Gator at 10:26 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

"...poor people don't know what a big mushroom is called and have never grilled one up at a Sunday BBQ (maybe they were working)"

Or couldn't afford more than a box of Kraft dinner.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:27 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Why is everyone MiHail mad about the cups mushrooms?
posted by fandango_matt at 10:27 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Duck: like I said in the brackets, given enough time the codes become engrained. I worked in a meat department and had somewhere between 300 and 400 codes memorised.

Oh, they don't always know the codes. I could 100% understand how eventually you'd come to memorize codes.

They have a little cylnidirical spiny thing where they look up the codes. What amazes me is that they know what code to look for. How do they know in a split second without even examining the product carefully if they should be looking up the code for the baking soda or baking powder? It really is amazing. Maybe my education is lacking, but I don't think I could do it even with lots of practice.
posted by duck at 10:29 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

oh, damn, loquacious ... that's funny
posted by pyramid termite at 10:29 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

mr_crash_davis writes "Or couldn't afford more than a box of Kraft dinner."

No name cheese dinner you mean.
posted by Mitheral at 10:31 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

*confession*
I couldn't pick a portobello mushroom out of a line-up
*hangs head in shame*

Metafilter: it's like dropping a kitten in a pirhana tank...
posted by blue_beetle at 10:32 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

lurk off

Before you all crash on me, I missed the error in my previous post--it should read " I like to start a post such as this..."

Another point: Surely this was not the first portabello mushroom the checker has encountered. There were a bunch of people buying them because they were on sale.

BTW, I typed every version of "portabello" I could think of, for you spelling nuts, into Google. The only one Google didn't ask "did you mean...." on was "portabella". Not that Google is the final authority or anything. However, EVERY variant brought up a miriad of recipes.

Furthermore, I'm not making any assumptions about this person's socioeconomic status. Nor was I snobbily looking down on another person. I didn't want it to be that kind of post. I just thought it was kind of funny and sad at the same time--that it seemed to me that this person had become so dependent upon codes and computers that she was unable to deal with a situation outside the norm (i.e. a produce item without an identifying code). Another point: I happen to know that this particular grocery store has regular "produce quizzes" for its checkers so they CAN memorize the numbers or at least identify the food item. Even I know bananas are "4011".

PLU codes and UPC codes are convenient. They also seem to prevent people from being able to think.

But what the hell do I know? Nothing about posting, apparently.

Gator, I've done the same things you have. I actually did put thought into the structure of my post. So, thanks for the soothing comments but it seems to me that if MeFi becomes choked with "rules" about FPPs and how posts should be structured etc. etc. etc. it sure takes all the fun and adds a lot of fear for even daring to post something within a thread.

Perhaps this should be better discussed in MeTa, where, though I haven't posted, I lurk frequently as well.

and no, I'm not going to start the thread there. I don't dare.

lurk on
posted by MiHail at 10:34 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

What I love most about this post is that self-styled lefty MiHail (with all her "Amerika," bullshit) reveals herself to be an isufferable yppie twit underneath, like many of her cohorts.

The waiters you complain about piss in your soup, honey.
posted by jonmc at 10:35 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

flashboy - Listen - I'm not American, I'm middle-class and I'm very well educated. I even know how to spell Portobello. And I couldn't identify a Portobello Mushroom if I spent a romantic weekend in Paris with one, got married and had lots of little Portobello Mushroom children that I had to support by toiling for twenty years down the Portobello Mushroom mines.



i found her, flashboy! ... i'll see if i can get her phone number for you
posted by pyramid termite at 10:36 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

Furthermore, I'm not making any assumptions about this person's socioeconomic status. Nor was I snobbily looking down on another person.

Keep telling yourself that.
posted by jonmc at 10:36 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Generic Mac and Cheese, man. 33 cents a box. Sometimes 25 cents. Good stuff.

Throw in some sliced garlic, oregano and a slice of pasteurized processed cheese product and you've got yourself an exotic gourmet meal.
posted by loquacious at 10:37 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Dude, Matt really sleeps in on Saturdays.
posted by graventy at 10:38 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

They also seem to prevent people from being able to think.

Yes. Because the name of a Portobello mushroom is something that can be deduced from first principles, if only you think about it hard enough.

Also, how are you using a different version of Google to everybody else?
posted by flashboy at 10:39 AM on November 12, 2005 [4 favorites]

Has anyone said "GYFB" yet?
posted by keswick at 10:40 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

MiHail, although I don't think this was a stellar post, it was one of the funniest threads I've read here in a while so for that at least, thanks. Don't take it too hard, eh?
posted by LeeJay at 10:40 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

jonmc,

The first rule of Project Mayhem is that we do not talk about Project Mayhem.

Ass.
posted by MiHail at 10:40 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

jeesh - a sub-par FPP and everyone goes 4011
posted by marlowe at 10:41 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

i found her, flashboy! ... i'll see if i can get her phone number for you

Delphine! My God... I... I never thought you would...

How... how are the children? Please, just... Delphine! Delphine, come back!
posted by flashboy at 10:42 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

MiHail,

Fight Club paraphrasing is boring and cliched.

Princess.
posted by jonmc at 10:42 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Who are you calling Princess, Cupcake?
posted by loquacious at 10:44 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

who you calling Cupcake, Cantaloupe?
posted by jonmc at 10:44 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

loquacious: I am disappointed by your recommendation of the addition of "a slice of pasteurized processed cheese product" to the gormet dining experience. Would you have us dine with the commoners? We demand a cheese of enough sophistication that it cannot be identified by a standard American educated cashier to be included in said recipe!
posted by jmccorm at 10:46 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

I was in a hardware store once and overheard a conversation about toilet seats. The young lady helping the older guy asked if he was interested in the "elongegated" or regular seats. He chuckled.

AND THEN JONMC KILLED HIM.
posted by bardic at 10:46 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Who are you calling Cantaloupe, Daikon?
posted by loquacious at 10:46 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

clean up in aisle 46610 ... we've got mushrooms, princesses, cupcakes and cantalopes all in one big squishy mess
posted by pyramid termite at 10:46 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

posted by mrgrimm at 10:47 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

MiHail, How do the cashiers have produce quizzes if all they do all day is "stand there with the drool running down their chins and pass your purchases in front of a machine or maybe punch a few numbers into a keypad occasionally."?

Ass.

Winn Dixie Bag Boy; 1993-1996
Hamburger Helper Eater; all my life
Represent.
posted by ND¢ at 10:47 AM on November 12, 2005 [3 favorites]

Jeez, pyramid termite, that's a shiitake not a portabello. Don't you know anything?
posted by Frisbee Girl at 10:47 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

posted by loquacious at 10:49 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Jeez, pyramid termite, that's a shiitake not a portabello. Don't you know anything?

hey, this whole thread's been a shittake
posted by pyramid termite at 10:49 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Frisbee Girl: There is no sense throwing feeces into the middle of a good mushroom discussion.
posted by jmccorm at 10:49 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Please identify these mushrooms.

posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:52 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

1 portobello mushroom
2 Tbs dijon mustard
1 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup fresh parsley, chopped
1 tsp salt


1. Combine mustard, vinegar, parsley, and salt in large bowl. Stir until mustard dissolves. 2. Wash mushroom thoroughly and remove stem. 3. Marinate mushroom for three to four hours, stirring occasionally. 4. Grill mushroom until tender. 5. Go to http://www.metafilter.com. Smear mushroom on screen.
posted by eatitlive at 10:53 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

It's "myriad" not "miriad," MiHail. Boy are you stupid.

I am sending my tetris playing mushroom men to attack you:


posted by Falconetti at 10:54 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

Digaman is correct. Portabella, portobello, and crimini are all just marketers' names for the common pasture mushroom, from which the standard white mushrooms were originally bred; it's only the names which made them salable, apparently.
posted by cookie-k at 10:54 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

Can't you tell you idiot? Damn, C_D, do we have to hold your hand?
posted by graventy at 10:54 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Please identify these mushrooms.

tinky winky, dipsy, and laa-laa ... someone must have put po on a hamburger
posted by pyramid termite at 10:55 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Portobello mushrooms are simply a large cremini, or brown button mushroom, for which you are charged a premium price. If you like portobellos, you may also like to pay more to display large manufacturers' logos on your clothes.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:55 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

Pubic Hair!
posted by I Foody at 10:56 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

I want you to think about something. Yes, employees in supermarkets are, generally not rocket scientists, but that's because those who are "a little closer to being rocket scientists" don't work in supermarkets because they have better jobs.

Supermarkets are deperate to find employees because the economy is good, so they recruit the bottom of the barrel, and have to scrape the bottom even harder to find anyone.

Do you really want an economy where literate, savvy people need to work at the checkout?
posted by ParisParamus at 10:58 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Please identify these mushrooms.

I would but I'm afraid my substandard American education has failed me. Paper or plastic?
posted by LeeJay at 10:58 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Portobello mushrooms are simply a large cremini, or brown button mushroom, for which you are charged a premium price. If you like portobellos, you may also like to pay more to display large manufacturers' logos on your clothes.

Well, to be fair, the extra growth time does make them taste different, even though they're the same species.
posted by transona5 at 10:58 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

I like the intersection of the orginal theme of the post (technology makes braindead zombies) with the fact that the poster used google instead of a dictionary to check the spelling of word.
posted by Staggering Jack at 11:00 AM on November 12, 2005 [3 favorites]

Well, to be fair, the extra growth time does make them
taste different, even though they're the same species.

Yeah. And I think they're bigger, too.
posted by jmccorm at 11:01 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

A strangely compelling thread. Not mentioned here, surprisingly, maybe because most people my age are dead or more likely, out raking leaves, but I remember the days when you went to the grocery store, turned left into the produce department, and they had one kind of lettuce, one kind of mushroom, one kind of carrot (OK, they still have one kind of carrot unless you count baby carrots or you go to a fancy Whole Foods market and have the kind of money it takes to buy purple carrots - their original color, by the way)...anyway, you get the point.

The profusion of kiwi, starfruit, and at least five different kinds of mushrooms in the average supermarket does not make the checker's job any easier. And I am fairly sure they don't have an indocrination video you have to watch that tells you how to tell the difference between a regular lemon and an organic lemon.
posted by kozad at 11:01 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

AND THEN JONMC KILLED HIM.

And since that day, I'm half the man I used to be.

clean up in aisle 46610 ... we've got mushrooms, princesses, cupcakes and cantalopes all in one big squishy mess

you forgot asses.

Grimm, during the day, those milk cartons sang and sang. I worked at night when they just stood there, motionless and mute. It was eerie, eerie, I tell ya.
posted by jonmc at 11:02 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

someone must have put po on a hamburger

Clearly, it the cashier. She diced poor po up to add to her Hamburger Helper.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 11:03 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

I remember the days when you went to the grocery store, turned left into the produce department, and they had one kind of lettuce, one kind of mushroom, one kind of carrot

my mother remembers the days when she went to the garden and they had one kind of lettuce, one kind of squash and one kind of carrot ...
posted by pyramid termite at 11:04 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

See, at the grocery store I worked at (for three horrible years) all loose mushrooms were PLU#4085.

MiHail wrote
(1) here was someone whose job is to sell food, and could not identify a (relatively) common food item, because they have become dependant on those four-number PLUs and barcodes to do their job.
PLUs are used instead of manually typing every price and weight into the system so that the customer can leave the store faster. Do you know how much longer it would take if instead the cashiers had to remember dollars per pound price? Prices change every week, PLUs don't. Not to mention most stores strongly discourage price type-ins (like when you tell the cashier how much an item is but they still go looking for the price, that's so they don't get bitched out later by their superior).

(2) I find the fact that this young woman had obviously never had a delicious grilled portabello (and by the way, there are MANY accepted spellings--portabello, portobello, even portobella) burger somehow very sad.
Maybe she doesn't like mushrooms?
posted by krazykity16 at 11:04 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

the difference between a regular lemon and an organic lemon

Oh! You mean, one is man made and the other is natural? That explains why you can get lemon juice in these little plastic squeeze bottles that look like lemons but have a much longer shelf life!
posted by jmccorm at 11:04 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

in one of my first jobs somebody asked me to show him some cardigans, and i took him to the bathrobes...he was dismissive, but i got him back when i took his check and wrote 'hair: thin & gray' in the identification section...

we all have blind spots...in my senior year, the valedictorian of my high school class seriously asked me the difference between washington and washington, dc...she just never quite got it...but she was still incredibly smart about everything else

i couldn't give even the most basic names for a lot of the stuff in the produce section
posted by troybob at 11:05 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

I had a friend that used to work nights in a supermarket. It was the first supermarket in my hometown that had one of those live lobster tanks. At night they would take the lobsters out of the tank and let them run down the aisles.
posted by eatitlive at 11:06 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

Their job is to stand there with the drool running down their chins and pass your purchases in front of a machine or maybe punch a few numbers into a keypad occasionally.

Late to the party, but I just wanted to add a big "fuck off" to people (not just you MiHail) who think like this.

The problem with this post has nothing to do with mushrooms. The problem with this post is the way that it condescends towards slack-jawed "drooling" grocery store clerks, and then disguising it as a condemnation of "Amerika" or the "united states" lack of quality education.

I am sure that if you did a post "educating" us on Mushrooms (or as duck says, the deskilling of labour), there would be no problem.
posted by Quartermass at 11:06 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

Grimm, during the day, those milk cartons sang and sang. I worked at night when they just stood there, motionless and mute. It was eerie, eerie, I tell ya.

i work in a factory that makes them and i've never heard a peep from them ... millions and millions of milk cartons ... all deathly quiet

it's spooky, alright
posted by pyramid termite at 11:06 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

Oh, and I had another friend that worked at the Burger King and the whole crew fired for pissing in the flame broiler.
posted by eatitlive at 11:07 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

I worked for a year in a supermarket (one of the large ones tha has all sorts of things, including specialty items from time to time) and there's a helluva lot of stuff in the produce department. Compared to just about every other item in the store, lots of produce doesn't include a UPC or PLU, so there's more to know there, sure.

But, there were at least six types of mushrooms at the store in which I worked. There were about that many types of apples, and quite a few variations of other produce items. Part of the training a cashier goes through is learning to identify produce, but we're not expected to learn everything right away. There's just too much stuff to expect someone making $6 an hour to know right away. As time goes by, you start to learn what different things are, and the codes for them.

Some things aren't too common, though, and you'll only see them once a week, at most, for most of the time. Not to mention that there are things that look quite like other things, and add to that the fact that you're standing in one spot for eight hours, performing the same repetitive motions, and you end up with cashiers (mostly high-school kids) that don't really care all that much about one type of mushroom is.

If you want to blame someone for that, there are all kinds of people and places to blame. I don't think you can call it a failure of the education system; I don't know of anywhere that's had a curriculum that's included Mushroom Studies. You can blame the supermarket for not forcing the cashiers to know every single thing in the store before operating a register; you can blame the store for not paying them enough to make the effort to learn. You can blame the cashiers if you want (hell, you can blame Satan if you really feel like it), but at the end of the day, the fact that a high school kid making $6 an hour doesn't know which type of mushroom something is should not register as a huge problem.

Most of the high-school aged people who do it (be a cashier) don't do it because they love produce (they'd go to the produce department) or because they really, really want to be a cashier; they do it because it's the kind of job that lots of people their age get.

While I'm at it, if you're one of those people who demads "double paper inside double plastic," I hate you.
posted by Godbert at 11:09 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

At night they would take the lobsters out of the tank and let them run down the aisles.

Did they race them and bet on the winners?

That reminds of the time I was walking down Grand Street through Chinatown. this old Chinese woman was dumping live crabs into a barrel at a fish stand. A few crabs fell out of the barrel and began scuttling away. They had gotten only a few feet before she scooped them up, cursing. Sadly, the crabs had scuttled westward. If they had gone east the just might have made the East River.

The oral of this story is that crustaceans have a poor sense of direction.
posted by jonmc at 11:11 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

oh-oh ... matt's up ... better say something quick while you can
posted by pyramid termite at 11:14 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

moral of the story.

Shee-it.
posted by jonmc at 11:15 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

the oral of the story is always my favorite part
posted by troybob at 11:15 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Did they race them and bet on the winners?

How did you know? The story goes that the lobsters just ran all over the place. Guess they couldn't find a jockey small enough to ride the lobster without crushing it.

That backs up your observation about their sense of direction. Though it could be those crabs you saw were headed to Tribeca for a nice lunch.
posted by eatitlive at 11:17 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

jonmc,
assuming my socioeconomic status from my type of post is boring and cliched.

FWIW, the checker was quite possibly working for extra beer money (she looked to be about that age group--i.e. college student with part time job, but we CERTAINLY don't want to make any assumptions) and appeared adequately fed. She was decorated with rather expensive earrings from a very trendy jeweler that a lot of people in San Antonio patronize (thye have a very recognizable style) which her parent(s) quite likely gave her, and of course had the ubiqitous nosering. I don't think she was hurting for money, except possibly for beer and Pantene shampoo. Now, I could be making assumptions, but if she were a single mom working for a living, I'm sure those earrings would've ended up in a pawn shop a long time ago. That, after all, is where mine are. I, on the other hand, don't have a pot to piss in because I am on social security disability, am trying to live on that and my savings, and am enjoying such fun yuppie things as chemo treatments. I am about as far from middle class yuppie as you can get. The reason why I bought myself what, to me, was a tiny luxury, and a few (to me) luxurious things to stuff them with was because the damn things were on SALE at the same time as some of my favorite yummy stuffing ingredients. And no, I was not rude to the checker. I just quietly said "It's a portabello mushroom." That's all. That's all there was to the whole incident.

However, since it then set off a whole trail of thoughts off in my head, I thought it might be an interesting story to relate. That tends to be my style and if my style isn't suitable for MetaFilter (i.e. I like to explain how I happened to post what I posted) so be it.

What was meant to be a post that doesn't refer to BushCheneyIraq blah blah blah has become a complete nightmare.

So Matt, go ahead and delete the whole damn thing. Delete my membership too so that I'll never be tempted to post here again.

Excuse me, but I have to go call the caterer and arrange for the engraved invitations for my pity party now. It's going to make the planned-but-never-happened JLo/Ben Affleck wedding look like amateur night at the Kiwanis lodge.

(on preview, this is looks like just another useless post because the topic has moved on, but what the hell! I'm posting it anyway!)
posted by MiHail at 11:20 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Guess they couldn't find a jockey small enough to ride the lobster without crushing it.

if they'd carried live snails they'd have jockeys ... the lobsters would be given direction and the snails would find out what it's like to really go like hell ... everybody wins!
posted by pyramid termite at 11:20 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

We used to race the lobsters at the 5 star hotel I worked at during the summers in New England. And we'd play Rocky with the aged slabs of rich people's steaks, that was fun. It was more fun when we stole them and ate them ourselves though.
posted by fenriq at 11:21 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

The oral of this story is that crustaceans have a poor sense of direction.

Everyone knows crabs walk sideways so, like, you know, duh!
posted by dodgygeezer at 11:22 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

30% OF CHILDREN IN THE UK DON'T KNOW WHAT CHIPS ARE MADE OF - AMERIKA NOT ALONE IN FOOD IGNORANCE
posted by fire&wings at 11:23 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Another FWIW--the grocery store chain at which this happened is known for both treating and paying its workers well--and people looking for college/high school/part time jobs face quite a lot of competition to get in.
posted by MiHail at 11:23 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

you're lack of high scoioeconomic status dosen't make you any less of a snob, MiHail, or any less insufferable.

Hope you're treatments work out though. No sarcasm. I had surgery to remove kidney stones last friday and know that chronic illness can go a long way towards making someone irritable and difficult.
posted by jonmc at 11:23 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

MiHail, you're supposed to flameout in MeTa. Jeez.
posted by fenriq at 11:23 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

MiHail -

I think your only real transgression with the post was that there was a ten minute gap between your FPP and your MI. If you've been lurking on MeFi for long enough, you should have known that people jump on threads quickly, and that that alone would have reasonable odds of derailing whatever your initial point may have been.

As for how you have (or anyone else has, I suppose) behaved since then, well, that's a whole different issue.
posted by vernondalhart at 11:25 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

posted by loquacious at 11:26 AM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites]

Well, at least you didn't link to a image hosted by geocities.
posted by iamck at 11:26 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

"Do you really want an economy where literate, savvy people need to work at the checkout?"

I want an economy where literate, savvy people WANT to work checkout.

/me goes back to reading Fountainhead
posted by mischief at 11:27 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

*checks his pocketwatch, takes a long, significant look at this thread*

so which one of y'all has haughey tied up in his basement?
posted by keswick at 11:29 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Do you really want an economy where literate, savvy people need to work at the checkout?

We have them. Self-serve checkout lanes. At all the middle class grocery stores. (The poor people don't get them. The rich people don't get them either. Lucky bastards.)
posted by jmccorm at 11:29 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

While I'm at it, if you're one of those people who demads "double paper inside double plastic," I hate you.

Bah. If you're one of those people who still uses paper or plastic, I hate you. But I hate b/c I love.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:30 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

PP: I guess mommy and daddy had so much money that you never needed a job in high school?
posted by jorbs at 11:30 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

An amusing discussion has grown own of a shitty FPP, just like the majestic mushroom rises out of a ball of dung.
posted by Falconetti at 11:31 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

no, jonmc, YOU make me irritable and difficult.

I really must log out now and practice holding my pinkie out over my Wal-Mart mug and tilting my nose up in my broken mirror that maintenance STILL hasn't replaced since I moved into this rattrap 7 months ago.

And oh, yeah, plan the jillion-course meal for my party.

Sorry for the chemo reference. That's information I try to keep to myself because it always feels like cheating to play the "give me special allowances because" card. Though having the handi-tag so I can park right next to the entrance of stores is nice.

I really am going to shut up now.
posted by MiHail at 11:32 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: jonmc, YOU make me irritable and difficult.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:33 AM on November 12, 2005 [1 favorite]

MiHail, comments such as, "I suspect this person was raised on a steady diet of hamburger helper or something," "Their job is to stand there with the drool running down their chins," "the checker was quite possibly working for extra beer money," and the last several comments you made about the cashier's accessories/appearance and the extrapolations you made about the kind of person she is...Well, they come of as very judgmental.

I certainly know what it's like to be in an unfortunate financial situation such as yours, but...you're making bitter remarks about a cashier's expensive-looking earrings and her presumed-to-be-dismal education in a thread about portobello mushrooms and...at this point I almost expect you to add that you had to hock your earrings so you could pay the $5 signup fee here or something.

Aside from the fact that, despite a period of lurking, you don't seem all that familiar with MetaFilter conventions, you also don't seem to realize how unpleasant and snobby you've come across in your comments here.
posted by Gator at 11:34 AM on November 12, 2005 [