The treesweater

April 9, 2006 5:56 PM

The TreesweaterTonight while I was out on a smoke break, I looked at the tree and thought, “Man, that is one sad tree. It looks cold and wet and pathetic. It needs a sweater!” Make your own
posted by arcticwoman (42 comments total)

I really want to learn how to knit now.
posted by philcliff at 6:33 PM on April 9, 2006

That's cute.
posted by thirteenkiller at 7:02 PM on April 9, 2006

philcliff: my thoughts exactly.
posted by whatzit at 7:16 PM on April 9, 2006

At the secret santa before last somebody gave me a pen with a sweater. Saddest Christmas ever.
posted by Citizen Premier at 7:27 PM on April 9, 2006

my girlfriend just swooned when she saw that. I think she now wants a tree as an addition to the family...
posted by rawfishy at 7:28 PM on April 9, 2006

This actually made me laugh out loud for some reason.


posted by killdevil at 7:32 PM on April 9, 2006

So is that the same tree as in the other pictures? Because this one has had its arm amputated! Poor guy!

From the comments on the link, I found Knitta Please. That "Born to Knit" tattoo is so badass.
posted by redteam at 7:49 PM on April 9, 2006

Oh Turdblossom? Bring me my DICTATORSHIP SWEATER!!
posted by loquacious at 7:49 PM on April 9, 2006

A smoke break? Smoking what, exactly? :)
posted by aeschenkarnos at 8:07 PM on April 9, 2006

Depressing. Sorry, cute fans. I don't mind sweaters on people, dogs, cats or rocks. But trees? Ughhh. I would not have to be drunk to feel an urge to tear a sweater off a tree. Please to not anthropomorphize my friends the trees.
posted by kozad at 8:28 PM on April 9, 2006

I wish I had that kind of spare time.
posted by HTuttle at 8:56 PM on April 9, 2006

This actually made me laugh out loud for some reason.

I know, the tree sweater combined with the "Lesbian Bed Death" headline... awesome.

The "Born to Knit" tattoo in the link from redteam... is it real?
posted by arcticwoman at 9:37 PM on April 9, 2006

I believe it is, arcticwoman. I found it elsewhere.

Found this one, this one, this one, and this one, too.
posted by redteam at 10:15 PM on April 9, 2006

How does the tree take the sweater off?
posted by null terminated at 10:16 PM on April 9, 2006

null terminated writes "How does the tree take the sweater off?"

It shouldn't be a problem. It never gets that hot in Seattle.
posted by mr_roboto at 10:34 PM on April 9, 2006

Knitters rock. Who knew? I am reminded of when I learned that librarians were cool.
posted by arcticwoman at 10:48 PM on April 9, 2006

It's a nice idea, but it's pretty useless without an umbrella.
posted by Malor at 11:37 PM on April 9, 2006

Librarians are hawt. Holy cow. I had such an unbearable crush on one particular librarian at the main branch in my hometown. But I was, oh, 14 at the time.
posted by loquacious at 12:49 AM on April 10, 2006

That's brilliant.

Umm, pardon my geekiness, but I don't understand the topology in play here. For planning purposes, the branches and trunk of the tree (before pruning) can be modeled as extending to infinity. How was the sweater (we antipodeans would call it a jersey) applied to the tree? Is it really a cardigan?
posted by wilberforce at 2:39 AM on April 10, 2006

wilberforce: fron tbe iink:
I went home and whipped one up, it only took an hour and a half to knit. Then another fifteen minutes or so, standing outside in the cold at half past midnight, stitching it up.
she avoided the infinities, a powerful knitter indeed.
posted by carsonb at 3:03 AM on April 10, 2006

If you were particularly fierce, you could knit the sweater right onto the tree, right? Slower than the actual method, no doubt, but you have to admit the lack of seam would be mighty cool.
posted by Richard Daly at 4:50 AM on April 10, 2006

> I went home and whipped one up, it only took an hour and a half to knit. Then
> another fifteen minutes or so, standing outside in the cold at half past midnight, stitching it up.

Say what real parents say. "You'll grow into it, dear."

posted by jfuller at 5:10 AM on April 10, 2006

Japanese trees wear vests made of straw.

(Sorry, couldn't find any better pictures on the 'net)
posted by Bugbread at 5:18 AM on April 10, 2006

It's odd-- I don't like "twee" stuff and I hate that particular bright red color, but somehow this is working for me. You know what would be really twee? If I were to knit a sweater for my stone pig. Yet I can't stop thinking about it....
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:02 AM on April 10, 2006

"It's odd-- I don't like "twee" stuff.." posted by Secret Life of Gravy.

Same twee allergy here, and odd too that I refuse to dislike this as well...I figure it's the modesty of the gesture, and the thought that some kid might notice it and wonder if elves are at work.

Hell, I'm going soft.
posted by Jody Tresidder at 6:21 AM on April 10, 2006

You should do it Secret Life.

They've also tagged a stone at the Great Wall of China.
posted by missmerrymack at 6:29 AM on April 10, 2006

Hah, that gave me a big grin. I love it.
posted by Marit at 6:30 AM on April 10, 2006

Not only are there a bunch of hawt, young librarians in my town, but several of them knit, too. (The most adorable librarian in the world lives here, but she's married.)

Knitting has been kinda trendy for a while now. See knitty.com and the popularity of the Stitch 'n Bitch books. I learned to knit a bit with an ex, but never attempted a sweater. (Note to single librarians: I work in book publishing and bake bread, too!)
posted by D.C. at 6:47 AM on April 10, 2006

I don't knit, only crochet. =(
posted by raedyn at 7:20 AM on April 10, 2006

This is great. And here's some meanie knitting art for twee-haters, from the comments at Erika's blog.
posted by mediareport at 8:11 AM on April 10, 2006

They knit the thing, so it's open in the back, then they wrap it around the tree and knit shut the back of it.

The "Born to Knit" tattoo in the link from redteam... is it real?

The whole 'fierce knitters' meme is kind of overdone. I got my coffee served to me yesterday by a particularly antisocial towny with 'knit' and 'purl' tattood across her knuckles.

My wife started crocheting. I watched her one night, picked up a hook and got started.
It is fascinating, watching the thing that you want to make appear in front of you. But the time, jeez. Plus, it's not like I could tell any of my friends about it. Can you imagine? Sitting at the bar -
"So, Balrog? What'd you do this weekend?"
*Silence*
"I...uh...I made this hat..."

The only thing I'm even remotely proud of are my yarn-pants. And I can't wear them outside of the house.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:42 AM on April 10, 2006

oh my god! i must go make tree sweaters now!
posted by trishthedish at 9:45 AM on April 10, 2006

I wouldn't be surprised if it's hard on the bark - retaining moisture against it. It seems akin to dressing up dogs to me - disrespectful anthropomorphism...
posted by fairmettle at 12:07 PM on April 10, 2006

Balrog, you need to come hang out with our knitting group...we have several gentlemen knitters (& crocheters)!

See also: Cleveland tree sweaters on my knitting site.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:11 PM on April 10, 2006

I agree with fairmettle. Just as I am against dog sweaters, so too must I be against tree sweaters.
posted by graventy at 3:53 PM on April 10, 2006

But not stone Pig sweaters, right? Right?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:27 PM on April 10, 2006

I am STILL laughing over YARN PANTS!!! Thank you Balrog, for putting all sorts of freaky images in my head...
posted by batgrlHG at 6:54 PM on April 10, 2006

The pedestrian gaped in surprise, then hold up his copy of The Stranger to the tree, confirming it was the same treesweater.

Okay, that's hilariously cute.

... But how did she get the sweater on the tree?!
posted by blacklite at 10:08 PM on April 10, 2006

(Oh, I see)
posted by blacklite at 10:09 PM on April 10, 2006

I am bound for Asia, and will spread the faith.
posted by dreamsign at 10:59 AM on April 11, 2006

Wait guys, How did she Get It On The Tree!?!?!1
posted by odinsdream at 5:42 PM on April 17, 2006

OHSS! I see.
posted by odinsdream at 5:42 PM on April 17, 2006