YAD KCOL SPAC

October 21, 2008 9:00 PM

OCTOBER 22 IS INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY!!! EVERY YEAR WE GET TOGETHER AND MAKE SALMON FOR TOAST, EVERY YEAR WE GET A CROCKETY BLOAT, EVERY YEAR WE GET DRUNK ON THE DOCKS, AND EVERY YEAR WE HAVE SEX WITH OUR CAPS LOCKS!!!!!!
posted by chrisamiller (256 comments total)

HOORAY!!! IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ALL YEAR!!!!!111

NOW WITH MORE RON PAUL?!?!

PREVIOUSLY
PRE-PREVIOUSLY
PRE-PRE-PREVIOUSLY
PRE-PRE-PRE-PREVIOUSLY
PRE-PRE-PRE-PREVIOUSLY
PRE-PRE-PRE-PRE-TTY PRETTY PRINCESS
posted by chrisamiller at 9:00 PM on October 21, 2008

THE CLOCK IS STRIKING TWELVE EVERYBODY CAPS LOCK!!!!
posted by gubo at 9:01 PM on October 21, 2008

O SHI.
posted by jessamyn at 9:02 PM on October 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

OH GOD DAMN IT.
posted by not_on_display at 9:03 PM on October 21, 2008

In honor of the holiday, a great blog that is sadly no longer active, but he was a dreamer: THIS IS FUN TO MAKE A BLOG ON THE COMPUTER WEBSITE
posted by Del Far at 9:03 PM on October 21, 2008

3... 2... 1.... HAPPY CAPS LOCK DAY!!!!11!11!1
posted by chowflap at 9:06 PM on October 21, 2008

caps are the best goddam it how does this locking of caps work???
posted by everichon at 9:06 PM on October 21, 2008

WHY DIDN'T I THINK TO USE THE CAPS LOCK? MAN I'M STUPID, SO SORRY EVERYBODY, I'VE RUINED THIS THREAD ALREADY.
posted by Del Far at 9:06 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

BAG OF FARTS
posted by bardic at 9:07 PM on October 21, 2008

HOLY FUC.
posted by bjork24 at 9:07 PM on October 21, 2008

IT JUST ISN'T THE SAME WITHOUT THE IMG TAG
posted by b1tr0t at 9:08 PM on October 21, 2008

DON'T GIVE ME NO CRAP WHEN I LOCKS MY CAP, CAUSE I GET MORE HEAD THAN A BASEBALL CAP!
posted by dunkadunc at 9:08 PM on October 21, 2008 [5 favorites]

I'M ON THE COMPUTAH HELP COMPUTAH111
posted by vrakatar at 9:09 PM on October 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

MY NAME IS NOT BARACK OBAMA, AND I ENDORSE CAPS LOCK.
posted by QuestionableSwami at 9:09 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

THIS LINK IS MY NEW FAVORITE WEBSITE SINCE 1995!!1!!
posted by availablelight at 9:10 PM on October 21, 2008

it's still the 21st in this time zone
posted by 445supermag at 9:10 PM on October 21, 2008

EVERYTIME SANTA KICKS THE MCDONALDS LOGO A CAPS LOCK GETS ITS WINGS
posted by chrisamiller at 9:10 PM on October 21, 2008 [4 favorites]

PS THIS THREAD IS USELESS WITHOUT THE IMG TAG.

AND MARQUEE
posted by dunkadunc at 9:11 PM on October 21, 2008

CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 9:11 PM on October 21, 2008

PEITD
posted by mullacc at 9:13 PM on October 21, 2008

does it sitilll conunt if you hold down shift!!!!
posted by archagon at 9:13 PM on October 21, 2008

pleargh. remap your caps lock key to a return key:

xmodmap -e "clear lock"
xmodmap -e "keycode 66 = Return"
xset r 66
posted by oonh at 9:15 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

OMG NOT AGAIN. TOO SOON.
posted by ktrey at 9:15 PM on October 21, 2008

GUYS< REAL MEN DON"T NEED A MACHINE TO MAKE THEIR CAPS FOR THEM>
posted by Riki tiki at 9:16 PM on October 21, 2008

GEE WHIZ, I AM TYPING LIKE MY DAD. NEAT-O!
posted by medeine at 9:17 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

HI IM ON METAFILTER AND I COULD CAPSLOCK A PLATE OF BEANS!!!1!!
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 9:17 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

OHHHH SO THAT'S A CAPS LOCK.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 9:17 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

OMG DOES ANYONE HAVE A MASTERKEY I THINK I LOCKED MY CAPS!!!! MAYBE I NEED A CAPSLOCKSMITH!!!!!!
posted by spiderskull at 9:19 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

I WAS HERE YOU FUCKERS FAVORITE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS BITCH
posted by middleclasstool at 9:20 PM on October 21, 2008 [5 favorites]

I ATE A BOMB :(
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:20 PM on October 21, 2008

CLASP DOCK WHEY
posted by cortex at 9:21 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

CASP LOCK!!!
posted by louche mustachio at 9:21 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

IS THIS SOMETHING ONE WOULD HAVE TO BE ON METAFILTER FOR AWHILE TO KNOW ABOUT?
posted by ktrey at 9:22 PM on October 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

EVERYONE IS INVITED. HAVE SOME TOAST!
posted by louche mustachio at 9:23 PM on October 21, 2008

OONH'S SCRIPT WOULD BE BETTER IF IT WAS REWRITTEN TO REMAP ALL NON-CHARACTER KEYS TO CAPS LOCK
posted by cellphone at 9:24 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'VE MOSTLY BEEN CAPSLOCKED ALL DAY AND MY SHIFT FINGERS ARE TIRED
posted by plant at 9:25 PM on October 21, 2008

BLACK SANTA GONNA FUCK YOU
posted by cellphone at 9:25 PM on October 21, 2008

LOUD NOISES!!
posted by hellojed at 9:27 PM on October 21, 2008

..######.....###....########...######.....##........#######...######..##....##
.##....##...##.##...##.....##.##....##....##.......##.....##.##....##.##...##.
.##........##...##..##.....##.##..........##.......##.....##.##.......##..##..
.##.......##.....##.########...######.....##.......##.....##.##.......#####...
.##.......#########.##..............##....##.......##.....##.##.......##..##..
.##....##.##.....##.##........##....##....##.......##.....##.##....##.##...##.
..######..##.....##.##.........######.....########..#######...######..##....##
.########.....###....##....##
.##.....##...##.##....##..##.
.##.....##..##...##....####..
.##.....##.##.....##....##...
.##.....##.#########....##...
.##.....##.##.....##....##...
.########..##.....##....##...

posted by felix at 9:27 PM on October 21, 2008 [5 favorites]

YOUR MOM USES CAPS LOCK
posted by casarkos at 9:27 PM on October 21, 2008

IT'S NOT CAPS LOCK DAY FOR ANOTHER HALF HOUR
BUT A PLAYER CAN ROLL WITH IT ITT.

QTIYD
posted by dismas at 9:30 PM on October 21, 2008

MAY THE REIGN OF CAPS LOCK NEVER END
posted by grouse at 9:30 PM on October 21, 2008

A few months ago the caps lock on my laptop broke and my cheap-ass bosses were too lazy to fix it for a few weeks. I think I permanently twisted my pinkie from holding down the shift key for hours on end. ON ANY OTHER DAY THAT STORY WOULD BE SAD, BUT NOT TODAY. THANK GOD FOR CAPS LOCK DAY.
posted by lilac girl at 9:33 PM on October 21, 2008

It appears that Metafilter really was populated with 12 year old boys all along.
posted by liquorice at 9:34 PM on October 21, 2008

IN HONOR OF THIS SPECIAL DAY I PRESENT TO YOU THE ADVENTURES OF AGENT HOWIE #2, ONLY THIS TIME ALL IN CAPS!!!

---

AGENT HOWIE SUNK EVEN DEEPER INTO HIS RECLINING CHAIR, A STIFF DRINK IN HIS HAND. AS HE DID THE MEMORIES OF HIS DEAD COMRADES SWELLED ONCE MORE TO THE SURFACE. A DYING FIRE CRACKLED QUIETLY IN THE FIREPLACE NEARBY. WERE IT NOT FOR ITS EMBERS AND THE POURING RAIN OUTSIDE HITTING THE WINDOW OF HOWIE'S MANSION, THE SCENE WOULD HAVE BEEN DEATHLY SILENT. HOWIE WAS A BROKEN MAN.

THE INVASION OF LIECHTENSTEIN HAD FAILED TERRIBLY AFTER THE AGENCY'S ARMIES WERE MET WITH DOGGED RESISTANCE*. IT WAS AN UNMITIGATED DISASTER, BUT THE CONSEQUENCES FOR HOW WERE MORE THAN JUST A BLOT ON HIS PERMANENT RECORD. EVER SINCE HE HAD RETURNED HOME, THAT ONE HORRIBLE IMAGE WHICH HAD MANAGED TO BURN ITSELF INTO HIS RETINAS KEPT HAUNTING HIM. IT WAS BAD ENOUGH TO SEE THE PLATOON HE HAD CO-COMMANDED DIE ALL AROUND HIM, BRAVE YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN TORN TO SHREDS IN A HAIL OF ENEMY BULLET FIRE, BUT IT WAS THE DEATH OF AGENT BABYGURU THAT TORE AT HOW'S SOUL MOST STRONGLY. EVEN NOW HOWIE COULD SEE BABYGURU, HIS LONG-TIME SECRET COLLABORATOR ON PROJECT METAFILTER, DEAD ON THE GROUND IN THE STREETS OF ESCHEN, BLOODY AND WITH A MASSIVE HOLE AT THE BACK OF HIS HEAD. IT WAS AN IMAGE THAT HOWIE KNEW WOULD STAY WITH HIM FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

THE IMAGE CONTINUED TO LINGER AT THE FOREFRONT OF HIS MIND, TORMENTING HIM UNCEASINGLY UNTIL HE COULD BEAR IT NO MORE! "WHY!!!" HE SCREAMED, SLIDING OFF OF HIS CHAIR AND FALLING ONTO HIS KNEES. TEARS STREAMED DOWN HIS FACE. "THAT STUPID KID! WHY'D HE DO IT? IT'S NOT FAIR! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!!" HE PLACED HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS AND SOBBED.

OUTSIDE THE RAIN EASED, BUT THE FIRE CONTINUED TO CRACKLE SOFTLY.

THE ANGER BUBBLED UP INSIDE OF HIM AS HE GRIEVED AND THEN IT VIOLENTLY EXPLODED. IN A FIT OF RAGE HE GRABBED HIS GLASS FULL OF BOURBON AND THREW IT INTO THE FIREPLACE. THE GLASS SHATTERED AS IT HIT THE BRICKS AND THE FIRE WELCOMED THE NEW SUCCOR, ROARING INTO LIFE AND ILLUMINATING THE DARKENED ROOM. IT'S HEAT BEGAN TO LAP AT THE COLD SKIN OF AGENT HOWIE'S FACE AND JUST AS THE FIRE HAD ILLUMINATED THE ROOM, IT SOMEHOW SHONE A LIGHT TO THE ANSWERS HE HAD BEEN SEEKING. IN THOSE ROARING FLAMES HOWIE REALISED THE ANSWER WAS NOT IN THE BOOZE. IT NEVER HAD BEEN. THIS WAS NO WAY TO LIVE. IT WAS AS IF THE FIRE, RENEWED AND ALIVE, WAS A METAPHOR FOR HIS OWN CURRENT PREDICAMENT. A METAPHOR ON HIS LIFE.

GETTING UP ONTO HIS FEET, HOW COULD FEEL THAT FIRE INSIDE HIS SOUL ROARING TO LIFE ONCE AGAIN. "FUCK IT ALL!" THOUGHT HOWIE. "GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF MAN! REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!" MAKING FULL USE OF THE MENTAL TRAINING PROVIDED TO HIM BY THE AGENCY, HE CLEARED THE CLOUDS IN HIS MIND AND REMEMBERED WHAT IN REALITY HE HAD NEVER REALLY FORGOTTEN. HE WAS NO QUITTER. HE WAS AN AGENT. AN AGENT OF THE AGENCY; A HARDENED PROFESSIONAL WHO WAS TRAINED TO KILL (AND OFTEN DID). HE WOULD NOT TAKE THE DEFEAT IN LIECHTENSTEIN, SNATCHED FROM WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE CLAWS OF VICTORY, LAYING DOWN. NO; IT WAS TIME FOR WHAT HE WAS BEST AT; COLD, BLOODY, MINDLESS REVENGE. AND AS ALWAYS, PROJECT METAFILTER WAS THE KEY TO GETTING IT.

WITH THE KIND OF ENERGY THAT WOULD HAVE SEEMED UNTHINKABLE ONLY MOMENTS BEFORE, HOWIE BURST INTO ACTION AND RAN FROM HIS STUDY TO HIS COMPUTER ROOM, LOCATED IN THE NORTH WING OF HIS PALACIAL MANSION. AND THEN, AS HE HAD DONE MANY TIMES BEFORE HE SWITCHED ON THE COMPUTER MONITOR ATTACHED TO THE SYSTEM WHICH MONITORED THE POSTINGS AND ACTIVITIES OF SEVERAL HUNDRED UNKNOWING MEFITES. SCROLLING THROUGH 'META', HE QUICKLY FOUND WHAT HE WAS AFTER. IT WAS 'THREAD 12516', A SEEMINGLY INNOCUOUS POST THAT DISCUSSED BAUERSFELD AND SNELSON. BUT HOW'S TRAINED EYE KNEW IT MEANT SO MUCH MORE. CLICKING ON THE THREAD AND SCROLLING DOWN THROUGH ITS COMMENTS, IT SPOKE TO HIM IN A LANGUAGE THAT ONLY HE COULD UNDERSTAND (WITH THE POSSIBLE EXCEPTION OF OPERATIVE R). THE THREAD TOLD HIM THAT BABYGURU'S DEATH WAS NOT IN VAIN. IT TOLD HIM THAT THE AGENCY NEEDED TO ACT QUICKLY TO RESTORE ITS HONOUR AND ACHIEVE ITS ULTIMATE AMBITIONS. AND ABOVE ALL IT TOLD HIM THAT THE ANSWER TO ALL HIS PROBLEMS RESTED, PERHAPS IRONICALLY, IN YET ANOTHER PRINCIPALITY.

AND IN THAT MOMENT, THE INVASION OF ANDORRA HAD ALL BUT BEGUN…

* SEE 'THE ADVENTURES OF AGENT HOW #50: LICKED IN LIECHTENSTEIN', WHEREIN THE AGENCY FINALLY INVADES THE PRINCIPALITY BUT FINDS THAT THEIR PRE-WAR INTELLIGENCE WAS GRAVELY FLAWED, WITH TRAGIC CONSEQUENCES.
posted by Effigy2000 at 9:34 PM on October 21, 2008 [9 favorites]

coincidentally, this year's caps locks day also falls on this year's opposite day.
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:34 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

I WANNA MAKE LOVE IN THIS THREAD (HEY!)
posted by dismas at 9:34 PM on October 21, 2008

FLAGGED
posted by Big_B at 9:34 PM on October 21, 2008

NOVEMBRE 5 WRITE IN RON PAUL FOR US PRESIDENT!!!!!!

I don't get what CAPS LOCKs day has to do with Ron Paul. I'm all for wasting votes, especially as an economist, but I'm not sure that I *get it*.
posted by lemonjel at 9:35 PM on October 21, 2008

NO YOU SHUT UP!
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 9:35 PM on October 21, 2008

TODAY THE SONG "TO SIR WITH LOVE" BY LULU TOPPED THE CHARTS. IT STAYED THERE FOR 5 WEEKS IN 1967.
posted by ktrey at 9:35 PM on October 21, 2008

INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCKS DAY IS MY FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR ON METAFILTER.

THIS IS WHY I SPENT THE $5 TO GET AN ACCOUNT.
posted by champthom at 9:35 PM on October 21, 2008

i lOVE cAPS lOCK dAY11111111111
posted by jewzilla at 9:36 PM on October 21, 2008

HOORAY FOR INTERNATIONAL CAP SLOCK DAY. IT IS MIDNIGHT. WHERE IS THE SLOCK ON YOUR CAP?
posted by 5MeoCMP at 9:36 PM on October 21, 2008

I CAN PLZ POP A CAP IN DIS THRED?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 9:38 PM on October 21, 2008

I"D RATHER HOLD THE SHIFT KEY DOWN>
posted by clearly at 9:39 PM on October 21, 2008

Comic Sans Day can't be far behind.
posted by clearly at 9:40 PM on October 21, 2008

HOORAY FOR FAKE INTERNET HOLIDAYS!
posted by brain cloud at 9:42 PM on October 21, 2008

posted by cortex at 9:42 PM on October 21, 2008 [101 favorites]

I AM CRUISING INTO COOL-ZONE!!!

I NORMALLY DO ALL CAPS THE HARD-CORE WAY, BY HOLDING DOWN SHIFT WITH MY LEFT PINKY, BUT IN HONOR OF CAPS LOCK DAY I HAVE SWITCHED TO THE APPROPRIATE BUTTON.

I AM SHOCKED AT HOW VERBOSE MY MEFI POSTS ARE AFTER SEVERAL MANHATTANS.
posted by paisley henosis at 9:44 PM on October 21, 2008

BOO ITS ONLY 10.44 MDT AND MY CAPS LCOK KEY SAYS caps lock ALL HIPSTERYSNIDE LIKE THAT BECAUSE STEVE JOBS SAID SO BUT I DON'T CARE I'LL JUST COME INTO THIS HERE SHOUTY ROOM AND SHOUT ANYWAY!!!
posted by lonefrontranger at 9:45 PM on October 21, 2008

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE CORTEX. AND I LOVE IT.
posted by paisley henosis at 9:45 PM on October 21, 2008

CORTEX IS ABUSING HIS ADMIN POWERS TO WHORE FOR FAVORITES

AND I HALPED
posted by grouse at 9:48 PM on October 21, 2008 [4 favorites]

THE BEST PART IS THAT IMAGES DON'T SHOW UP ON FAVORITES PAGES SO YOU CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT IT FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST REALLY LIKED THAT TIME I SAID ""
posted by cortex at 9:49 PM on October 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

I don't get what CAPS LOCKs day has to do with Ron Paul. I'm all for wasting votes, especially as an economist, but I'm not sure that I *get it*.

THAT'S BECAUSE ALL TRUE RON PAUL SUPPORTERS TALK IN ALL CAPS. FOR INSTANCE, HERE'S MY IMPRESSION OF A DIGG USER:

"RON PAUL RON PAUL RON RON PAUL, RON PAUL!"
posted by champthom at 9:50 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

TONIGHT I TRIED MAKING FAKE MEAT VEAL CUTLETS WITH NUTRITIOUS BRAN FLAKES INSTEAD OF FLOUR. THE BRAN FLAKES BURNED AND SET OFF MY SMOKE ALARM BUT I ATE THEM ANYWAY AND NOW I'M NOT FEELING SO GOOD.
posted by treepour at 9:50 PM on October 21, 2008

CORTEX IS ANTI-IMG-BAN AND PRO-AMERICAN *SALUTES CORTEX
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:51 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

I SAY.

IT HAS BEEN AGES SINCE I HAVE SEEN AN ANIMATED .GIF GRACE THE BLUE. AND THEN I SAW THE POSTED BY. NOT FAIR.
posted by ktrey at 9:51 PM on October 21, 2008

OMG DID I SAY BRAN FLAKES I MEANT YEAST FLAKES
posted by treepour at 9:52 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

WAT
posted by afu at 9:53 PM on October 21, 2008

WHAT.
posted by ktrey at 9:54 PM on October 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

clearly: Comic Sans Day can't be far behind.

IN LAST YEAR'S THREAD:

empyrean: In 2008, comic sans day and capslock day will overlap and the world will end as we know it.

I COULDN'T FIND ANY MENTION OF COMIC SANS DAY ANYWHERE OTHER THAN THERE AND SOME RANDOM GERMAN BLOGS. CELEBRATING EARLY ON THE WEST COAST.
posted by Korou at 9:55 PM on October 21, 2008

I'M COMIC SANS AND I APPROVE THIS TYPEFACE
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:56 PM on October 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

MY BEST BEST PAR-TAY RECIPE!!!!! (LOLLOL)

SALMON TOAST INGREDIENTS
1. CATCH A BIG SALMON
2. STUFF IT IN A 14.5 OZ CAN

* 3 TABLESPOONS BUTTER
* 3 TABLESPOONS ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR
* 1 CUP COLD MILK
* 1 (10 OUNCE) CAN CANNED GREEN PEAS, DRAINED, LIQUID RESERVED
* YUR SALMON IN A CAN
* SALT AND PEPPER TO TASTE

DIRECTIONS

1. IN A SAUCPAN OR SKILLET, MELT BUTTRE OVER MED HEAT. WHISK (I LIEK THAT WORD WHISK) IN FLOUR, STIRRING A LOT UNTIL A SMOOTH PASTE IS FORMED. ADD MILK A LITTLE BIT AT A TIME AND SAVE PEA LIQUID, STIR A LOT WITH NO STOPPING UNTIL A SMOOTH THICK GRAVY IS FORMED. (MMMMMMMM, GRA-A-A-AVY)
2. FLAKE SALMON INTO A BOWL, BRAKE APART ANY LARGE PIECES. STIR SALMON AND PEAS INTO SAUCE WITH A BIG WOOD SPOON & DONT SQUASH THE PEAS!!!!!111! COOK UNTIL HEATED THROUGH. ADD SALT AND PEPPER THE WAY U LIKE IT.
3. TOAST BREAD IN TOASTER OVEN. IF U LIEK BUTTER, USE BUTTER AND TOP WITH SALMON SPREAD.
4. SHARE IT WITH YOUR DRUNK-ON-THE-DOCKS FREIENDS ON CAPS LOCK DAY FOR FUN111!!
posted by madamjujujive at 9:58 PM on October 21, 2008 [5 favorites]

ANOTHER WEST COAST EARLY CELEBRANT REPORTING IN.

IT WOULD BE COOL TO HAVE COMIC SANS DAY, CAPS LOCK DAY, AND TALK-LIKE-A-PIRATE DAY ALL ON ONE DAY.

OR WOULD IT CAUSE A BLACK HOLE?
posted by rtha at 9:58 PM on October 21, 2008

I HAVEN'T CAPS LOCKED FOR AGES... WOO HOOO ... DANCES
posted by infini at 9:58 PM on October 21, 2008

DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE TIME FOR SOME STORIES GUY
posted by Burhanistan at 9:59 PM on October 21, 2008

I ONLY HAVE A CAPSLK KEY. CAN I STILL PLAY? HUH? HUH?
posted by gingerbeer at 10:01 PM on October 21, 2008

NOTE: HELP MAINTAIN A HEALTH, RESPECTFUL DISCUSSION BY FOCUSSING COMMENTS ON THE ISSUES, TOPICS, AND FACTS AT HAND--NOT AT OTHER MEMBERS OF THE SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Citizen Premier at 10:01 PM on October 21, 2008

OH SHIT ITS HERE OMG OMG OMG

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON
posted by Rhaomi at 10:01 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

METAFILTER COMIC SANS DAY: September 14, 2007
posted by clearly at 10:02 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

EXTERMINATE ALL RATIONAL THOUGHT
posted by Curry at 10:03 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

posted by clearly at 10:04 PM on October 21, 2008

APPARENTLY CORTEX DIDN'T LEAVE THE IMG TAG GATES OPEN
posted by clearly at 10:05 PM on October 21, 2008

HEY WHY ISN'T THE LABEL ON THE CAPS LOCK KEY IN CAPS
posted by plant at 10:05 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

AS PUTIN REARS HIS HEAD AND COMES INTO THE AIR SPACE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WHERE--WHERE DO THEY GO? IT'S ALASKA. ALL OF 'EM, ANY OF 'EM THAT HAVE BEEN IN FRONT OF ME OVER ALL THESE YEARS. IT'S JUST RIGHT OVER THE BORDER. I'LL TRY TO FIND YOU SOME AND I'LL BRING 'EM TO YOU. I'M THE MAYOR, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT UNTIL THE COURTS TELL ME I CAN'T. WELL, LET'S SEE. THERE'S -- OF COURSE -- IN THE GREAT HISTORY OF AMERICA RULINGS THERE HAVE BEEN RULINGS...
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:05 PM on October 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

MAINTAIN A HEALTH!

CAP SLOCKING MAKES GOOD HEALTH! HEALTH FOR AND WITH THE SLOCK, CAP IT AND TWEE!

OPEN THE MAIN VALCES, LIEUTENANT, WE ARE COMING IN TO LAND!11!
posted by 5MeoCMP at 10:06 PM on October 21, 2008

METAFILTER COMIC SANS DAY: September 14, 2007

NO GODDAMMIT IT'S AUGUST 23RD 2007

YOU WERE THINKING OF METAFILTER FONT HAX DAY
posted by cortex at 10:06 PM on October 21, 2008

AND CAPSLOCK EXISTS THAT ONE MAY RECOVER THE SENSATION OF LIFE; IT EXISTS TO MAKE ONE FEEL THINGS, TO MAKE THE CAPS CAPPY. THE PURPOSE OF CAPSLOCK IS TO IMPART THE SENSATION OF THINGS AS THEY ARE PERCEIVED AND NOT AS THEY ARE KNOWN. THE TECHNIQUE OF CAPSLOCK IS TO MAKE OBJECTS 'UNFAMILIAR,' TO MAKE FORMS DIFFICULT, TO INCREASE THE DIFFICULTY AND LENGTH OF PERCEPTION BECAUSE THE PROCESS OF PERCEPTION IS AN AESTHETIC END IN ITSELF AND MUST BE PROLONGED. CAPSLOCK IS A WAY OF EXPERIENCING THE CAPSLOCKNESS OF AN OBJECT: THE OBJECT IS NOT IMPORTANT.

Victor Shklovsky "Capslock as Technique"
posted by exlotuseater at 10:07 PM on October 21, 2008 [4 favorites]

AND TODAY THE SONG "GROOVY KIND OF LOVE" BY PHIL COLLINS TOPPED THE CHARTS. IT STAYED THERE FOR 2 WEEKS IN 1988.

CAPSLOCKTIMEZONES.
posted by ktrey at 10:08 PM on October 21, 2008

ITS BEEN CAPS LOCK ALL DAY IN AUSTRALIA SUCKERS. AND DON'T TELL ME THAT SHIT THAT YOU'LL STILL BE CAPS LOCKING LATER, BECAUSE THAT DOESN'T COUNT AS I'LL HAVE GONE TO BED.
posted by bystander at 10:08 PM on October 21, 2008

NOW YOU KNOW AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE.

the other half is learning when to use the technique profitably.
posted by exlotuseater at 10:08 PM on October 21, 2008

CUE CORTEX BREAKING OUT COMIC SANS IN 3....2....1....
posted by clearly at 10:09 PM on October 21, 2008

LEAVE 1000 UNMARKED IMG TAGS DOWN BY THE OLD RAILROAD TRACKS OR THE PUPPY GETS IT!!!

           ____,'`-, 
      _,--'   ,/::.; 
   ,-'       ,/::,' `---.___        ___,_ 
   |       ,:';:/        ;'"`;"`--./ ,-^.;--. 
   |:     ,:';,'         '         `.   ;`   `-. 
    \:.,:::/;/ -:.                   `  | `     `-. 
     \:::,'//__.;  ,;  ,  ,  :.`-.   :. |  ;       :. 
      \,',';/O)^. :'  ;  :   '__` `  :::`.       .:' ) 
      |,'  |\__,: ;      ;  '/O)`.   :::`;       ' ,' 
           |`--''            \__,' , ::::(       ,' 
           `    ,            `--' ,: :::,'\   ,-' 
            | ,;         ,    ,::'  ,:::   |,' 
            |,:        .(          ,:::|   ` 
            ::'_   _   ::         ,::/:| 
           ,',' `-' \   `.      ,:::/,:| 
          | : _  _   |   '     ,::,' ::: 
          | \ O`'O  ,',   ,    :,'   ;:: 
           \ `-'`--',:' ,' , ,,'      :: 
            ``:.:.__   ',-','        ::' 
               `--.__, ,::.         ::' 
                   |:  ::::.       ::' 
                   |:  ::::::    ,::' 

posted by chrisamiller at 10:10 PM on October 21, 2008 [6 favorites]

HAPPY APPLE DAY!
posted by ktrey at 10:11 PM on October 21, 2008

IT TURNS OUT THAT MODERN OPERA REALLY BLOWS

GAWD
posted by nasreddin at 10:14 PM on October 21, 2008

ÒÔH θΜG ÇÅÑ HÄŽ NÀP ÓN KÊYBØℜD
posted by nickyskye at 10:19 PM on October 21, 2008

/\
()))
((()
\/
()
(~~~))~~~)
) (( (
( (( )
) )) (
( (( )
) )) (
O============O
)\\\\\/////(
)/////\\\\\(
O============O

PRAY FOR PUPPY.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 10:30 PM on October 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

I WILL DO A LITTLE DANCE ON MY TABLE IN BAD HIGH HEELS WITH PANTS ON MY HEAD AND A HAT ON M,Y BUM! LOLLOLLOL. I AM ENDLESS SEPTEMBER AND I WANT A BIG BOWL OF CIDER WITH A FRUITY GARNISH!
posted by Jilder at 10:37 PM on October 21, 2008

I will not be sucked into using ALL CAPS - ZOMG THERE I GO, I DIDN'T REALISE IT WOULD FEEL THIS AMAZING! THIS IS SOME KIND OF CRAZY AWESOME THING! IT'S LIKE THE SCALES HAVE FALLEN FROM MY EYES AND I'VE FINALLY DISCOVERED WHAT REAL LIFE IS ALL ABOUT. ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!

ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!ALL CAPS! ALL THE TIME!
posted by crossoverman at 10:43 PM on October 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

HAY GUYS I'M REALLY AMAZED THAT WITH THIS ECONOMIC DOWNTURN ALL THE RON PAULTARDS HAVEN'T COME OUT OF THE WOODWORK SCREAMING ABOUT HOW DR. PAUL WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG. OR MAYBE THEY DID AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT BECAUSE I NEVER READ DIGG ANYMORE. I DON'T KNOW. I SURE LOVE THIS DAY, THOUGH.
posted by Caduceus at 10:45 PM on October 21, 2008

CAP'N LOCK

PRODUTOS OF PORTUGAL AND CRAZY SCIENCE
posted by painquale at 10:55 PM on October 21, 2008

THIS CAME FROM A BOX OF CAP'N CRUNCH CEREAL. CAP'N'S LOCK!
posted by painquale at 10:58 PM on October 21, 2008

THIS A GOOD THREAD TO BREAK OUT THE CANDLEJACK MEME, DON'T YOU GUYS THI
posted by Caduceus at 11:00 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

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COOCCCCCCCCCCoo::..        .   . 8OOOCCooccccccc:::::::::::::::.:...:::::c:::cc:cc::.                        ...
CCCCCCCCCCCoc:...          .     oOOCOCCoccc::::::::.::::::::..... :::::::c:cc:ccc::                            
CCCCCCoCCoc.::..          ...    .OOCCCCooooc::.:..::::.: :.... ..:::::::c:cc:cccc:.                            
:c::...c:::......        . .. .   oCOCCCooococ:.. .......... .  :.:::::::c:ccccccc.                             
ccccc:::.......                   .oCOCCooooccc:...    .    ....:.:::::c::c:cc:c::.                             
Oocc::.:..  ..                     :oCCCoooooocc:....  .  ....::::::::::cc:ccccc:.                              
c:.:..... ... .  .            .     :oCCoooooocc::::.:.:....:.::::c:c:cc:ccccccc:                               
::.... ... ..  .                     :CCCoooooooc::::::::::::::::c:c:c:c::ccccc:.                               
. . . .     .                .        :Cooooooocc::::::::::::.::::::::c:::cccc:.                                
 .            .            .    .      :ooococoocc::::::::::::::::::c:::ccccc:.                                 
                                        .cooccccccc:::::::::::::cccc:c::c:cc:.                                  
             .                .          .coooccccc::::::::::::ccc::c:::::::.                                   
. .                                       .:ccocccccc:::::::::cc::cc:ccc:::                                     
                                 .          :cccc:::::c:c::c:::c:cccc:::.:                                      
.              .                      .      .:c:c::::cc::::c:::cccccc:..                                       
 .                                             ::::::::::::c:::ccc::::.                                         
                .                               .::c::::c:c::cccccc::.                                          
                 .                                ::::::::::cc:ccc:.                                            
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posted by killdevil at 11:08 PM on October 21, 2008 [7 favorites]

AGENT HOWIE APPROVES OF CAPS LOCK
posted by killdevil at 11:09 PM on October 21, 2008

CAPS IN ROT-2 IS ECRU
LOCK IN ROT-ANYTHING IS NOTHING

CAPS
CAPE
CARE
CORE
CORK
COCK
LOCK

SPA CLOCK
LACK COPS
CLAP SOCK
COCKSLAP

I CANT GET A PALINDROME THO
posted by painquale at 11:15 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

TIHS THRED LOOKS AWSOME IN COMIC SANS EVERYBODY SHOULD RY IT SRSLY./
posted by not_on_display at 11:18 PM on October 21, 2008

REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAW LOST HIGHWAY IN THE THEATER ON A DATE WITH THAT CUTE PUNK ROCK GIRL WHO NEITHER OF YOU HAD ANY IDEA WHY SHE WAS WITH YOUR PLAIN WHITE BREAD VANILLA ASS AND WHO YOU DIDN'T CALL BACK RIGHT AWAY AND WHO THEN GOT PISSED AND RIGHTFULLY SO AND TOLD YOU TO GET LOST BUT SHE WAS A GREAT KISSER SO WHAT WERE YOU THINKING I MEAN SHE HAD THE "THREE LEGS OF MAN" TATTOOED ON HER STOMACH AND RODE A MOTORBIKE, ANYWAY IN THE MOVIE THERE'S THAT PART WHERE THE COPS AT LEAST I THINK THEY WERE COPS SAID WHILE SURVEILLING THAT DUDE THAT HE "GOT MORE PUSSY THAN A TOILET SEAT" WELL I KINDA LAUGHED BUT THAT SAYING HAS KIND OF BUGGED ME SINCE AS THOUGH I DON'T HAVE THAT "EQUIPMENT" WHEN I SIT ON THE TOILET UNLESS THINGS ARE GOING REALLY WRONG MY GENITALS DON'T ACTUALLY TOUCH THE SEAT WHICH MEANS THAT THE SEAT, WHEN SAT ON BY A WOMAN OF THE FEMALE PERSUASION DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET ANY, I MEAN IT'S NEARBY AND KINDA PROBABLY HAS AN OK IF WEIRD VIEW AND ALL BUT WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT "PUSSY" NEARBY ISN'T MUCH MORE HELPFUL THAN LIGHT YEARS AWAY, REALLY--I'VE STOOD NEAR DEBBY HARRY AND NEARBY JUST KINDA WAS MEH WHEREAS RIGHT THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH BETTER EVEN IF THE WAIT STAFF WOULD HAVE RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND SOME DINERS INCLUDING DEBBY HERSELF WOULD HAVE BEEN PUT OFF THEIR FOOD, BUT I SUPPOSE THAT'S AN OK PRICE TO PAY FOR "PUSSY" WHICH ISN'T A WORD I USE NORMALLY BUT SINCE THIS IS REALLY ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT AND APPARENTLY THAT'S THE TERM IT PREFERS I GUESS I'LL RUN WITH IT, BUT I STILL WOULDN'T EVER USE THE TERM, FOR EXAMPLE, ON THE PHONE WITH MY MOTHER BUT I GUESS I PROBABLY WOULDN'T USE PROPER SCIENTIFIC ANATOMICAL TERMS EITHER SINCE I'D RATHER BE REJECTED BY THOUSANDS OF CUTE PUNK GIRLS THAN HAVE A SINGLE PHONE CALL WITH MY MOTHER WHERE THE CONVERSATION INVOLVES ANYONE'S GENITALS BUT ESPECIALLY HERS OR MINE OR MY FATHERS OR MY BROTHER OR HIS WIFE OR KIDS OR REALLY ANYONE'S UNLESS SHE KNOWS DEBBY AND HAS A C. 1980 POLAROID WHICH REALLY SEEMS UNLIKELY BUT I DO ADMIT I WOULD STICK AROUND FOR THAT PARTICULAR STORY.
posted by maxwelton at 11:23 PM on October 21, 2008 [7 favorites]

i'm not joining in until someone tells me what a crockety bloat is.
posted by sexyrobot at 11:23 PM on October 21, 2008

You know, I actually stared at cortex's pic post for a few seconds before my brain switched on and RECOGNIZED THERE WAS AN IMG IN THE THREAD (C WUT I DID THAR).
posted by ninjew at 11:30 PM on October 21, 2008

WRITING HTML IN CAPS LOCK MAKES ME SO NOSTALGIC.
posted by Korou at 11:40 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Cantdosleepy at 11:43 PM on October 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

OH GOD IT FEELS SO GOOD.
posted by Rangeboy at 11:58 PM on October 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

SO ITS OK TO COMMENT DRUNK NOW??????////DDDW4E2343R4O3IIUYR389UR983
posted by ws at 12:04 AM on October 22, 2008

PEOPLE, ON CAPS LOCK AWARENESS AND SUPPORT DAY, PLEASE SPARE A THOUGHT FOR OUR differently-cased FRIENDS.
posted by pivotal at 12:21 AM on October 22, 2008

i and others who never use caps scoff at your yelling
- all our words are poetry this way mark 10.22.8
posted by msalt at 12:36 AM on October 22, 2008

I CAME TO METAFILTER FOR THE INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION, BUT STAYED FOR INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by MrMustard at 12:50 AM on October 22, 2008

A CAPITAL IDEA!
posted by lapolla at 1:16 AM on October 22, 2008

GUILE INVISIBLE THROW (SF2 ORIGINAL)

GUILE ON THE LEFT

HOLD BACK 2 SECONDS LIKE CHARGING FOR A SONIC-BOOM, FORWARD, BACK, FORWARD + FIERCE&ROUNDHOUSE

YOUR OPPONENT IF NO MORE THAN 1/2 SCREEN AWAY, WILL FALL TO THE GROUND AND INFLICT SIGNIFICANT "THROW DAMAGE" WITHOUT YOU EVER TOUCHING HIM/HER. AND WHILE ON THE GROUND YOU CAN REPEAT THE TRICK!!=
posted by churl at 1:17 AM on October 22, 2008

THIS WAS A VALUED RUG.
THIS WAS, UH--
THIS WAS A VALUED, UH.
WERE YOU LISTENING TO THE STORY, DONNY?
WERE YOU LISTENING TO THE DUDE'S STORY?
SO YOU HAVE NO FRAME OF REFERENCE, DONNY.
YOU'RE LIKE A CHILD WHO WANDERS IN IN THE MIDDLE OF A MOVIE AND WANTS TO KNOW--
THERE'S NO FUCKING REASON--HERE'S MY POINT, DUDE--THERE'S NO FUCKING REASON--
HUH?
HUH? NO! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING--I'M NOT--WE'RE TALKING ABOUT UNCHECKED AGGRESSION HERE--
FORGET IT, DONNY. YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
THIS CHINAMAN IS NOT THE ISSUE!
I'M TALKING ABOUT DRAWING A LINE IN THE SAND, DUDE.
ACROSS THIS LINE YOU DO NOT, UH--AND ALSO, DUDE, CHINAMAN IS NOT THE PREFERRED, UH. . . ASIAN- AMERICAN. PLEASE.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU--
YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT! THIS CHINAMAN IS NOT THE ISSUE, DUDE.
JEFF LEBOWSKI. COME ON. THIS OTHER JEFFREY LEBOWSKI. THE MILLIONAIRE.
HE'S GONNA BE EASIER TO FIND ANYWAY THAN THESE TWO, UH. THESE TWO . . .
AND HE HAS THE WEALTH, UH, THE RESOURCES OBVIOUSLY, AND THERE IS NO REASON, NO FUCKING REASON, WHY HIS WIFE SHOULD GO OUT AND OWE MONEY AND THEY PEE ON YOUR RUG. AM I WRONG?
AM I WRONG!
THAT RUG REALLY TIED THE ROOM TOGETHER, DID IT NOT?
DONNY! PLEASE!
THAAAT'S RIGHT DUDE; THEY PEE ON YOUR FUCKING RUG.
WAY TO GO, DUDE. IF YOU WILL IT, IT IS NO DREAM.
THEODORE HERZEL.
STATE OF ISRAEL. IF YOU WILL IT, DUDE, IT IS NO--
HUH? OH--CYNTHIA'S POMERANIAN. CAN'T LEAVE HIM HOME ALONE OR HE EATS THE FURNITURE.
I'M SAYING, CYNTHIA'S POMERANIAN.
I'M LOOKING AFTER IT WHILE CYNTHIA AND MARTY ACKERMAN ARE IN HAWAII.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "BROUGHT IT BOWLING"?
I DIDN'T RENT IT SHOES.
I'M NOT BUYING IT A FUCKING BEER.
HE'S NOT GONNA TAKE YOUR FUCKING TURN, DUDE.
FIRST OF ALL, DUDE, YOU DON'T HAVE AN EX, SECONDLY, IT'S A FUCKING SHOW DOG WITH FUCKING PAPERS.
YOU CAN'T BOARD IT. IT GETS UPSET, ITS HAIR FALLS OUT.
FUCKING DOG HAS PAPERS, DUDE.--OVER THE LINE!
OVER THE LINE, SMOKEY! I'M SORRY. THAT'S A FOUL.
EXCUSE ME! MARK IT ZERO. NEXT FRAME.
THIS IS NOT NAM. THIS IS BOWLING. THERE ARE RULES.
THIS IS A LEAGUE GAME. THIS DETERMINES WHO ENTERS THE NEXT ROUND-ROBIN, AM I WRONG?
AM I WRONG!?
SMOKEY MY FRIEND, YOU'RE ENTERING A WORLD OF PAIN.
MARK THAT FRAME AN EIGHT, YOU'RE ENTERING A WORLD OF PAIN.
A WORLD OF PAIN.
HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY?
AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES? MARK IT ZERO!
MARK IT ZERO!
YOU THINK I'M FUCKING AROUND HERE? MARK IT ZERO!!
THIS IS A LEAGUE GAME, SMOKEY!
posted by churl at 1:26 AM on October 22, 2008 [8 favorites]

CASPLOCKDAY!
posted by Jofus at 1:35 AM on October 22, 2008

CROCKETY BLOAT IS SOM WIERD ARSED REKURSIVE SHIT
posted by dangerousdan at 1:44 AM on October 22, 2008

OH MAN GUYZ I THINK MAH KEYBOARD IS BROKEN

ALSO I LOVE YOU ALL
posted by Schlimmbesserung at 1:47 AM on October 22, 2008

THIS IS A BUNCH OF CRAP, I WOULD NEVER JOIN IN ON A MADE UP FAKE INTERNETZ HOLIDAY, I MEAN SERIOUSL.....OH.
posted by gcbv at 1:51 AM on October 22, 2008

SEMI-RELATED STORY: I DIDN'T KNOW THIS BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL HIM e.e. ANYMORE.
posted by wendell at 2:13 AM on October 22, 2008 [3 favorites]

キャップスロックの日！１！１！１！１！１！１！１！１！１
posted by gen at 2:23 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

THERE'S PROBABLY NO GOD. NOW STOP WORRYING AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE
posted by randomination at 2:32 AM on October 22, 2008 [4 favorites]

OH YES YES YES. FINALLY YES. IT IS ONE OF MY TOP 4 FAVORITE HOLIDAYS IN THE YEAR. I LOVE IT MORE THAN I LOVE MY FRIENDS WHO REFUSE TO ENGAGE WITH ME IN THE ONLINE TEXTUAL DISCOURSE OWING TO THE FESTIVE NATURE OF THE DAY. SERIOUSLY. CAPSLOCKDAY CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER. EXCEPT WHAT'S UP WITH THIS RON PAUL SHIT, I'M JUST GLAD THE ELECTION IS NOT TODAY BECAUSE THEN I WOULD FEEL SO BAD WHEN I VOTED FOR RON PAUL BECAUSE A SPECTACULAR DAY ENDORSED HIM AS OUR ALL CAPS LEADER AND I OF COURSE WAS COMPELLED TO FOLLOW. CAPS. CAPS! THIS IS THE POWER OF LANGUAGE.
posted by unknowncommand at 2:35 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

THIS IS YOUR BROWSER ON AOL. HI, MOM.
posted by chuckdarwin at 2:37 AM on October 22, 2008

MY COLLEAGUE'S CAPS LOCK KEY HAS ACTUALLY BECOME STUCK DOWN. ON INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY. I HAVE TRIED EXPLAINING TO HER THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS EVENT, BUT SHE JUST WANTS TO CALL IT. SHE DOES NOT KNOW HOW BLESSED SHE IS.
posted by MrMustard at 2:45 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

HOLY SHIT GUYS, I LIVE FOR THIS DAY! CAN WE ALSO HAVE PICTURES BACK JUST FOR THIS THREAD PLEASE KTHXBAI
posted by Sijeka at 2:47 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

BOB DOLE!
posted by fixedgear at 3:37 AM on October 22, 2008

FINALLY!
posted by whuuuu at 3:41 AM on October 22, 2008

8========================================o)

HAPPY ENDINGS FOR EVERYBODY!!!
posted by bardic at 3:46 AM on October 22, 2008

YOU GUYS!!! I MEANT TO BE HERE WHEN IT STARTED, BUT THEN I ATE TOO MUCH FOR DINNER AND FELL ASLEEP!

NOW I'M AWAKE AT AN UNGODLY HOUR OF THE MORNING AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I LOVE YOU ALL AS MUCH AS IS POSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE WHO NEEDS A CUP OF TEA REALLY BADLY.

OH, HEY.

MY TEA POT IS WHISTLING.

TEA.
posted by sparkletone at 3:50 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL. LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL. LET THE GOOOOOOD. TIIIIMES. ROO-OOOLLLLL
posted by the dief at 3:50 AM on October 22, 2008

I'M GETTING A NEW COMPUTER TODAY. PACKAGE TRACKING, PLUS MY KNOWLEDGE OF UPS' SCHEDULE FOR DELIVERIES TO MY APARTMENT SUGGESTS IT WILL BE HERE IN ABOUT 6-8 HOURS.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD IT FEELS TO KNOW THAT I'LL BE ABLE TO CELEBRATE CAPS LOCK DAY ON A VIRGIN KEYBOARD.

YEAH.

THAT'S RIGHT.

VIRGIN.

I SAID IT.
posted by sparkletone at 3:52 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

I AM THE KING OF NORWAY. I HOPE YOUR BIRTHDAY IS FULL OF SURPRISES.
posted by the dief at 3:57 AM on October 22, 2008

CAPPITY CAP CAP CAP.
CAPPITY CAP CAP CAP.
CAPPITY CAP CAP
CAPPITY CAP CAP
CAPPITY CAP CAP LOCK!
posted by litlnemo at 4:02 AM on October 22, 2008

FRIST COMMENT YEAH!!!
posted by tawny at 4:02 AM on October 22, 2008

YEAR OF GLAD

I AM SEATED IN AN OFFICE, SURROUNDED BY HEADS AND BODIES. MY POSTURE IS CONSCIOUSLY CONGRUENT TO THE SHAPE OF MY HARD CHAIR. THIS IS A COLD ROOM IN UNIVERSITY ADMINISTRATION, WOOD-WALLED, REMINGTON-HUNG, DOUBLE-WINDOWED AGAINST THE NOVEMBER HEAT, INSULATED FROM ADMINISTRATIVE SOUNDS BY THE RECEPTION AREA OUTSIDE, AT WHICH UNCLE CHARLES, MR. DELINT AND I WERE LATELY RECEIVED.

I AM IN HERE.

THREE FACES HAVE RESOLVED INTO PLACE ABOVE SUMMER-WEIGHT SPORTCOATS AND HALF-WINDSORS ACROSS A POLISHED PINE CONFERENCE TABLE SHINY WITH THE SPIDERED LIGHT OF AN ARIZONA NOON. THESE ARE THREE DEAMS -- OF ADMISSIONS, ACADEMIC AFFAIRS, ATHLETIC AFFAIRS. I DO NOT KNOW WHICH FACE BELONGS TO WHOM.

I BLIEVE I APPEAR NEUTRAL, MAYBE EVEN PLEASANT, THOUGH I'VE BEEN COACHED TO ERR ON THE SIDE OF NEUTRALITY AND NOT ATTEMPT WHAT WOULD FEEL TO ME LIKE A PLEASANT EXPRESSION OR SMILE.

I HAVE COMMITTED TO CROSSING MY LEGS I HOPE CAREFULLY, ANKLE ON KNEE, HANDS TOGETHER IN THE LAP OF MY SLACKS. MY FINGERS ARE MATED INTO A MIRRORED SERIES OF WHAT MANIFESTS TO ME, AS THE LETTER X. THE INTERVIEW ROOM'S OTHER PERSONNEL INCLUDE: THE UNIVERSITY'S DIRECTOR OF COMPOSITION, ITS VARSITY TENNIS COACH, AND ACADEMY PRORECTOR MR. A. DELINT. C.T. IS BESIDE ME; THE OTHERS SIT, STAND AND STAND, RESPECTIVELY, AT THE PERIPHERY OF MY FOCUS. THE TENNIS COACH JINGLES POCKET-CHANGE. THERE IS SOMETHING VAGUELY DIGESTIVE ABOUT THE ROOM'S ODOR. THE HIGH-TRACTION SOLE OF MY COMPLIMENTARY NIKE SNEAKER RUNS PARALLEL TO THE WOBBLING LOAFER OF MY MOTHER'S HALF-BROTHER, HERE IN HIS CAPACITY AS HEADMASTER, SITTING IN THE CHAIR TO WHAT I HOPE IS MY IMMEDIATE RIGHT, ALSO FACING DEANS.

THE DEAN AT LEFT, A LEAN YELLOWISH MAN WHOSE FIXED SMILE NEVERTHELESS HAS THE IMPERMANENT QUALITY OF SOMETHING STAMPED INTO UNCOOPERATIVE MATERIAL, IS A PERSONALITY-TYPE I'VE COME LATELY TO APPRECIATE, THE TYPE WHO DELAYS NEED OF ANY RESPONSE FROM ME BY RELATING MY SIDE OF THE STORY FOR ME, TO ME. PASSED A PACKET OF COMPUTER-SHEETS BY THE SHAGGY LION OF A DEAN AT CENTER, HE IS SPEAKING MORE OR LESS TO THESE PAGES, SMILING DOWN.

'YOU ARE HAROLD INCANDENZA, EIGHTEEN, DATE OF SECONDARY-SCHOOL GRADUATION APPROXIMATELY ONE MONTH FROM NOW, ATTENDING ENFIELD TENNIS ACADEMY, ENFIELD, MASSACHUSETTS, A BOARDING SCHOOL, WHERE YOU RESIDE.'
posted by sparkletone at 4:08 AM on October 22, 2008 [4 favorites]

BECAUSE IT'S OCTOBER, I'VE BEEN REWATCHING BITS AND PIECES OF THE FIRST SIX SEASONS OF X-FILES.

THEY SAY SEVERAL TIMES EARLY ON THAT MULDER HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. BUT, MAN. HE SEEMS TO FORGET AN AWFUL LOT OF SHIT.
posted by sparkletone at 4:09 AM on October 22, 2008 [4 favorites]

I'VE ALSO BEEN MEANING TO WATCH THAT CALL OF CTHULHU SILENT MOVIE. ANYONE SEEN THAT?

IS MORE OR LESS SCARY THAN A WORLD WITHOUT CAPS LOCK?
posted by sparkletone at 4:10 AM on October 22, 2008

oh no. i'm melting.
posted by fourcheesemac at 4:13 AM on October 22, 2008

oh no. i'm melting.

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG HERE, BUT I'M HAVING TROUBLE DETERMINING WHAT IT IS, EXACTLY.
posted by sparkletone at 4:15 AM on October 22, 2008

I don't get what CAPS LOCKs day has to do with Ron Paul. I'm all for wasting votes, especially as an economist, but I'm not sure that I *get it*.

DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!!
posted by octothorpe at 4:16 AM on October 22, 2008

I DON'T QUITE SEE WHAT'S IN THAT PICTURE, DMD, BUT IF I CROSS MY EYES JUST RIGHT, I THINK MAYBE I SEE A BOAT!!!!
posted by sparkletone at 4:20 AM on October 22, 2008

WHY HELLO, GOOD SIR.

YOU MUST LURK MOAR TO FIND TEH SEEKRITS OF TEH CAPS LOCK.
posted by elfgirl at 4:20 AM on October 22, 2008

OH NOT AGAIN. WE DO THIS SAME IMMATURE BULLSHIT THREAD EVERY YEAR. CHRIST, WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GROW UP?

WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.
METAFILTER?
posted by eriko at 4:33 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

NEVER, OR LATER IF POSSIBLE

AT CURRENT RATES THERE ARE ABOUT 10000 NON CAPS LOCK DAY THREADS FOR EVERY CAPS LOCK DAY THREAD

HOW MUCH MORE GROWN UP DO WE NEED TO BE, AND WHY
posted by plant at 4:44 AM on October 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND I WAS SO EXCITED I COULD HARDLY NOT BE EXCITED

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU CAPS LOCK US EVERY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CANT WAIT TO GET DRUNK ON THE DOCKS
posted by Greg Nog at 4:44 AM on October 22, 2008

ALL YOU HATERS SUCK MY BALLS
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:49 AM on October 22, 2008

PS I FOUND THE BEST DOG I WILL NAME HIS NAME CASP LOCK
posted by Greg Nog at 5:09 AM on October 22, 2008

ROCK OUT WITH YOUR CAPS LOCK OUT!
posted by ahughey at 5:14 AM on October 22, 2008

I MISSED OUT ON THIS LAST NIGHT BUT I WAS PROBABLY TOO TIRED TO YELL ANYWAY :D:D:D:D:D:D

ALSO LESS PUNCTUATION MORE EXCLAMATION PLZ
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 5:18 AM on October 22, 2008

I WILL PAY SOME ONE CASH MONEY FOR THIS THREAD TO BE ABOUT
CAPS
LOCK
CAPS
LOCK
posted by Greg Nog at 5:23 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

GIRL, I'LL TAKE YOU TO A MOVIE SHOW
WE CAN SIT IN THE BACK AND I'LL JACK YOU OFF!

I CAN'T GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU WANT
BUT I CAN TAKE YOU TO A RESTAURANT
AND IF YOU'RE NOT HUNGRY, I'LL JACK YOU OFF

IF YOUR MAN AIN'T NO GOOD
COME ON OVER TO MY NEIGHBORHOOD
WE CAN JUMP IN THE SACK AND I'LL JACK YOU OFF

IF YOU'RE TIRED OF THE MASTURBATOR
LITTLE GIRL, WE CAN GO ON A DATE, UH
AND IF YOU LIKE, I'LL JACK YOU OFF

I'LL JACK YOU OFF, JACK YOU OFF
I'LL JACK YOU OFF, JACK YOU OFF
I'LL JACK YOU OFF

I ONLY DO IT FOR A WORTHY CAUSE
VIRGINITY OR MENOPAUSE
YOU'LL HAVE AN INSTANT HEART ATTACK IF I JACK YOU OFF

IF YOU REALLY REALLY WANNA BE A STAR
WE GOTTA DO IT IN YOUR MAMA'S CAR
NAKED IN A CADILLAC, I'LL JACK YOU OFF

IF WE CAN'T FIND NO PLACE TO GO
GIRL, I'LL TAKE YOU TO A MOVIE SHOW
WE CAN SIT IN THE BACK AND I'LL JACK YOU OFF

I'LL JACK YOU OFF, JACK YOU OFF
I'LL JACK YOU OFF, JACK YOU OFF
I'LL JACK YOU OFF

YEAH!
YEAH, YEAH, I'LL JACK YOU OFF
ALRIGHT, SAY IT
GET SOME, WANT SOME (HEAD)
I'LL JACK YOU OFF

IF YOU AIN'T A CHICKEN, BABY, COME HERE
IF YOU'RE GOOD, I'LL EVEN LET YOU STEER
AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU CAN JACK ME OFF

YEAH (THAT'S RIGHT)
I'LL JACK YOU OFF, HEY
YEAH!
(SOMETIMES)
I'LL JACK YOU OFF!
posted by sparkletone at 5:23 AM on October 22, 2008

I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THE ASCII ART. SADFACE.
posted by elfgirl at 5:27 AM on October 22, 2008

JUST MY 2 CENTS. MORNING HERE IN MY LITTLE CORNER OF THE WORLD.
posted by bjgeiger at 5:29 AM on October 22, 2008

LAX COPS!
posted by Sailormom at 5:35 AM on October 22, 2008

I CUT OFF MY HAND BECAUSE CAPSLOCK MAKES ME FUCKING SICK SHOULD I GOT TO THE HOSPITAL OR WHAT PLEASE HOPE ME STAUNCH THE BLEEDING
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:41 AM on October 22, 2008

I'LL CAPS YOUR LOCKS.
posted by arcticwoman at 5:50 AM on October 22, 2008

I DISABLED MY CAPS LOCK KEY THROUGH A REGISTRY HACK, SO I HAD TO TYPE ALL OF THIS WHILE HOLDING DOWN THE SHIFT KEY.
posted by burnmp3s at 5:55 AM on October 22, 2008

IN THE YEAR 1826, ONE MONSIEUR CHABERT ... PERFORMED THE FOLLOWING FEATS AT THE WHITE CONDUIT GARDENS: HAVING PARTAKEN OF A HEARTY MEAL OF PHOSPHORUS, WASHED DOWN WITH A COPIOUS DRAUGHT OF AXALIC ACID IN A SOLUTION OF ARSENIC, HE DRANK OFF A JORUM OF BOILING OIL, AND WITH HIS NAKED HAND HELPED HIMSELF TO A SERVING OF MOLTEN LEAD BY WAY OF DESSERT. ON ANOTHER OCCASION HE WALKED INTO A FIERY FURNAC, STAYED IN SOME CONSIDERABLE SPACE OF TIME, AND CAME OUT WHOLE AND UNBURNED. HE REPRESENTED THE FURNACE AS HOTTER THAN IT REALLY WAS, THOUGH, AS A MATTER OF FACT HE TOOK WITH HIM A RAW BEEFSTEAK AND BROUGHT IT OUT BROILED TO A TURN. [VIA]
posted by Skorgu at 5:58 AM on October 22, 2008

YOULL BE FINE JUST CRACK THE TOP OFF A COLD ONE AND SALUTE THE CAPS

SLAYER, BITCHES
posted by Cantdosleepy at 5:59 AM on October 22, 2008

SPARKLETONE IT IS A PICTURE OF ME IN THE FLOWER OF MY YOUTH (14 IN 1992) BACK WHEN I WAS JUST STARTING OUT IN MY CAREER AT BEING A DICK ON THE INTERNET .
posted by dmd at 6:23 AM on October 22, 2008

DON'T KNOCK CAPSLOCK OR I'LL CLEAN YOUR CLOCK!
posted by PsychoKick at 6:25 AM on October 22, 2008

• THERE'S NOTHING MORE YOU CAN LEAVE BEHIND
• SO FORGET ABOUT SEEING, GET INTO YOUR MIND
• EVERYTHING LOOKS BETTER WHEN THE WORLD IS BLACK
• GRAB A FORK, MAKE THE FIRST ATTACK
• LIGHTS OUT!
• POKE POKE, POKE YOUR EYES OUT
• LIGHTS OUT!
• PUT A PEN IN YOUR HAND, POKE YOUR EYES OUT

posted by milquetoast at 6:27 AM on October 22, 2008

OMG 4CHAN IS BLUE.
posted by lunit at 6:27 AM on October 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

ДА ЗДРАВСТВУЕТ ДЕНь МАЮСКУЛОВ!
posted by languagehat at 6:40 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

i don't understand what is going on here. halp. please halp.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:40 AM on October 22, 2008

DOES THIS CAPS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?
posted by sixswitch at 6:47 AM on October 22, 2008

I'M STILL WAITING FOR SYS RQ DAY, JERKS
posted by Sys Rq at 7:03 AM on October 22, 2008 [3 favorites]

I'M NOT SHOUTING, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S SHOUTING
posted by Spatch at 7:04 AM on October 22, 2008

OH HAI! I HERD IT WAZ SPACE CLOCKS DAY
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:06 AM on October 22, 2008

http://capslockday.com

FAIL
posted by lunit at 7:08 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did

Women and men(both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

ANYONE LIVED IN A PRETTY HOW TOWN
(WITH UP SO FLOATING MANY BELLS DOWN)
SPRING SUMMER AUTUMN WINTER
HE SANG HIS DIDN'T HE DANCED HIS DID

WOMEN AND MEN(BOTH LITTLE AND SMALL)
CARED FOR ANYONE NOT AT ALL
THEY SOWED THEIR ISN'T THEY REAPED THEIR SAME
SUN MOON STARS RAIN
posted by jenkinsEar at 7:10 AM on October 22, 2008

I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I WAS HERE. AGAIN. OH LAWD IT IS SO RIGHT.
posted by Stynxno at 7:13 AM on October 22, 2008

69TH FAVOURITE ON CORTEX'S GIF, WORSHIP ME PPL PLS

ALSO IT IS WOMBAT DAY TODAY
posted by altolinguistic at 7:14 AM on October 22, 2008

AS THE TORCHBEARER FOR THE 2005 POST I APPLAUD AND RECOMMEND THIS NEW GENERATION OF POSTER
posted by Jairus at 7:21 AM on October 22, 2008

FURST
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:23 AM on October 22, 2008

ДА ЗДРАВСТВУЕТ ДЕНь МАЮСКУЛОВ!

ONCE AGAIN RUSSIAN CAPS LOCK DAY IS UNDERMINED BY THAT DAMN LITTLE SOFT SIGN.
posted by Kabanos at 7:24 AM on October 22, 2008

I THOUGHT THAT WAS "H FLAT"
posted by Sys Rq at 7:27 AM on October 22, 2008

IN RUSSIA CAPS LOCKS YOU
posted by elfgirl at 7:28 AM on October 22, 2008

I PUT ON MY WIZARD HAT FOR CAP SLOCK DAY.
posted by emjaybee at 7:28 AM on October 22, 2008

☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭
MY FACE WAS EATEN BY GNOMES
I ACCIDENTALLY THE ASCII
posted by dmd at 7:32 AM on October 22, 2008

U SHLD PUT ON YR CLAP SOCK INSTEAD THIS THRED HAS AN AIDS AFAIK
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:33 AM on October 22, 2008

I DISABLED MY CAPS LOCK KEY THROUGH A REGISTRY HACK

*GASP* BLASPHEMAY!! HERETIC! TAR AND FEATHER THEM EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FEATHERS WELL COVER THEM WITH DISCARDED SHIFT KEYS

CAPS LOCK DEVOTEES NEED NOT SHIFT KEYS. SHIFT KEYS ARE FOR THE WEAK SHIFT KEYS ARE A SLIPPERY SLOPE AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOULL BE USING COMMAS PROPERLY (AND CLOSING YOUR PARENTHESIS
posted by chrisamiller at 7:39 AM on October 22, 2008

I put some super glue under your Caps Lock key. Thought you might want to know.
posted by daniel_charms at 7:47 AM on October 22, 2008

You are all weirdos.
posted by yellowbinder at 7:54 AM on October 22, 2008

CAPS LOCKED AND LOADED
posted by TwelveTwo at 7:55 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

HOLY CRAPS MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN ON CAPSLOCKDAY.

THAT EXPLAINS WHY SHE IS ALWAYS YELLING?!
posted by WinnipegDragon at 7:59 AM on October 22, 2008 [5 favorites]

GIVE HER A CROCKETY BLOAT!
posted by languagehat at 8:10 AM on October 22, 2008

I WILL NOT LOWER CASE
LOWER CASE IS THE MIND KILLER
LOWER CASE IS THE LITTLE DEATH THAT BRINGS TOTAL OBLITERATION
I WILL FACE THE LOWER CASE
I WILL LET THEM PASS OVER ME AND THROUGH ME
AND WHEN THEY HAVE GONE PAST I WILL TURN THE INNER EYE TO SEE THEIR PATH
WHERE THE LOWER CASE HAVE GONE THERE WILL BE NOTHING
ONLY CAPS WILL REMAIN
posted by elfgirl at 8:10 AM on October 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

RIGHT NOW I AM GIVING THANKS FOR THE PART OF CAPS LOCK DAY WHERE YOU WAKE UP THE DAY AFTER THE NIGHT OF CAPS LOCK EVE AND YOU DON'T WANT TO BE IN CALIFORNIA ANYMORE.
posted by unknowncommand at 8:11 AM on October 22, 2008

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! STOP WITH THE DAMN YELLING ALREADY!

AND GET OFF OF MY LAWN!
posted by gingerbeer at 8:17 AM on October 22, 2008

IS IT YET THE DAY OF CTRL-ALT-D
posted by JHarris at 8:17 AM on October 22, 2008

sparkletone: I'VE ALSO BEEN MEANING TO WATCH THAT CALL OF CTHULHU SILENT MOVIE. ANYONE SEEN THAT?

I HAS COPY. IS GRET. FOLLOWS BOOX XACTLY.
posted by JHarris at 8:26 AM on October 22, 2008

NAP
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:32 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

MY NAME IS B1FF. I AM L33T. GIVE ME WAREZ.
posted by porn in the woods at 8:34 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

YOU KNOW, EVER SINCE I MOVED TO ENGLAND, I HAVE HEARD PEOPLE RIPPING ON SOME WOMAN I'VE NEVER HEARD OF CALLED KERRY KATONA. SO, I WAS LIKE 'FUCK, DUDE. HOW BAD CAN THE BITCH BE?' SO, IN MY STATE OF ADVANCED BOREDOM, I WIKIED HER.

KATONA HAS BEEN CRITICISED FOR SMOKING DURING HER PREGNANCIES. SHE WAS SPOTTED HAVING A CIGARETTE WHILE PREGNANT WITH HEIDI IN 2006, WHICH LED TO KERRY'S SPOKESMAN ADMITTING THAT SHE WAS STILL SMOKING FOUR CIGARETTES A DAY AND "DESPERATELY TRYING TO STOP ALTOGETHER."

HOWEVER, SHE ALSO ADMITTED ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION THAT SHE WAS STILL SMOKING DURING HER FOURTH PREGNANCY IN 2007. SHE ALSO SAID THAT SHE HAD CONSUMED ALCOHOL DURING THIS PREGNANCY. HER COMMENTS RESULTED IN THE FOUNDATION FOR THE STUDY OF INFANT DEATH (FSID) WARNING KATONA THAT HER BABY IS UP TO 15 TIMES MORE LIKELY TO DIE FROM A COT DEATH AS A RESULT OF HER SMOKING. THE BRITISH HEART FOUNDATION ALSO PROVIDED PUBLIC WARNINGS WHICH CONDEMNED KATONA'S DECISION. KATONA CONTINUED TO DEFEND HER BEHAVIOUR AFTER THESE STATEMENTS WERE MADE.

IN AUGUST 2007, IT WAS CLAIMED THAT KATONA HAD REFUSED TO TAKE A DRUGS TEST TO PROVE THAT SHE WAS FIT TO LOOK AFTER HER CHILDREN.

IN THE LATER MONTHS OF 2007, IT APPEARED THAT KATONA'S POPULARITY WITH THE PUBLIC HAD DECLINED. SHE WAS VOTED THE SECOND WORST CELEBRITY MOTHER IN A POLL IN SEPTEMBER, WAS FORCED TO DENY BEING ON DRUGS FOLLOWING AN UNUSUAL APPEARANCE ON GMTV IN OCTOBER, AND IN NOVEMBER, SHE WAS VOTED THE MOST IRRITATING INDIVIDUAL IN BRITAIN. IN DECEMBER, HER ICELAND ADVERTISEMENT WAS VOTED THE SECOND WORST CELEBRITY AD. LATER IN THE MONTH, SHE SAID THAT SHE FELT "VICTIMISED" BY THE PUBLIC AND INSISTED THAT SHE DID NOT DESERVE TO BE CALLED A BAD MOTHER.

APPEARING ON THE 12 FEBRUARY 2008 EDITION OF CHANNEL 4'S RICHARD AND JUDY SHOW, KATONA ADMITTED THAT SHE HAD TAKEN COCAINE, BUT CLAIMED THAT SHE HAD NOT TAKEN ANY DRUGS FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS. SHE ALSO CLAIMED THAT THE PRESS WERE CONSTANTLY MAKING UP STORIES ABOUT HER AND THE REPORTS OF HER LOSING HER POSITION AS SPOKESPERSON FOR THE ICELAND CHAINSTORES WERE UNTRUE AND THAT SHE WAS IN THE PROCESS OF RENEWING HER CONTRACT WITH THEM.

APPEARING ON THE 22 OCTOBER 2008 LIVE EPSIDODE OF ITV'S THIS MORNING SHOW, KATONA'S SPEECH APPEARED TO BE SLURRED PROMPTING VIEWERS TO PHONE IN DURING THE INTERVIEW TO ASK IF SHE WAS OK.

FAIR PLAY. I CAN SEE THAT THE LADY MIGHT HAVE A COUPLE OF TINY, WEENSY WIDDWE ISSUES. MAYBE SHE AND THAT NICE WINEHOUSE LADY COULD START A BAND OR SOMETHING. THAT'D BE PRETTY UNCONTROVERSIAL. I'M SURE NO ONE WOULD NOTICE AT ALL. OR FOLLOW THEM WITH CAMERAS. OR PUT PICTURES OF THEIR COOTERS ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE DAILY MAIL. OR MAKE A REALITY SHOW ABOUT HER GETTING A BREAST REDUCTION.

OK, SO THAT LAST ONE WAS TRUE, BUT STILL. SHE SEEMS LIKE A REAL SWEETHEART. AND I BET SHE USES CAPS LOCK *ALL THE TIME*. IT'S EASIER WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO WITH A HUGE FUCKING BUZZ ON.
posted by chuckdarwin at 8:36 AM on October 22, 2008

AND NOW THE SHIPPING FORECAST ISSUED BY THE MET OFFICE, ON BEHALF OF THE MARITIME AND COASTGUARD AGENCY, AT 1130 ON WEDNESDAY 22 OCTOBER 2008.

THERE ARE WARNINGS OF GALES IN VIKING NORTH UTSIRE SOUTH UTSIRE FORTIES CROMARTY FORTH TRAFALGAR FITZROY SOLE LUNDY FASTNET IRISH SEA SHANNON ROCKALL MALIN HEBRIDES BAILEY FAIR ISLE FAEROES AND SOUTHEAST ICELAND.

THE GENERAL SYNOPSIS AT 0700:
ATLANTIC LOW 986 MOVING RAPIDLY NORTHEAST, EXPECTED ICELAND 957 BY 0700 TOMORROW. NEW HIGH EXPECTED CENTRAL EUROPE 1030 BY SAME TIME.

THE AREA FORECASTS FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS:

VIKING NORTH UTSIRE SOUTH UTSIRE FORTIES CROMARTY FORTH WESTERLY BACKING SOUTHERLY, 5 OR 6 INCREASING 6 TO GALE 8, PERHAPS SEVERE GALE 9 LATER. ROUGH OR VERY ROUGH, OCCASIONALLY HIGH LATER EXCEPT IN CROMARTY AND FORTH. SQUALLY SHOWERS, RAIN LATER. MODERATE OR GOOD, BECOMING POOR.

TYNE DOGGER FISHER GERMAN BIGHT HUMBER THAMES:
WESTERLY BACKING SOUTHERLY OR SOUTHWESTERLY, 5 TO 7, PERHAPS GALE 8 LATER. MODERATE OR ROUGH IN TYNE AND THAMES, OTHERWISE ROUGH OR VERY ROUGH. SHOWERS, SQUALLY AT FIRST. MODERATE OR GOOD.

DOVER WIGHT PORTLAND PLYMOUTH:
WEST BACKING SOUTHWEST, 4 OR 5 INCREASING 6 OR 7, PERHAPS GALE 8 LATER IN PLYMOUTH. SLIGHT OR MODERATE, BECOMING MODERATE OR ROUGH, OCCASIONALLY VERY ROUGH IN PLYMOUTH LATER. SHOWERS, SQUALLY AT FIRST. MODERATE OR GOOD.

NORTH BISCAY:
NORTHWESTERLY BACKING SOUTHWESTERLY, 4 OR 5, INCREASING 6 IN FAR NORTHWEST LATER. MODERATE OR ROUGH. SHOWERS. GOOD.

SOUTH BISCAY:
NORTHEASTERLY VEERING SOUTHEASTERLY 4 OR 5. MODERATE OR ROUGH. SHOWERS. GOOD.

SOUTHEAST FITZROY:
NORTHEASTERLY 6 TO GALE 8 DECREASING 4 OR 5. ROUGH OR VERY ROUGH. SHOWERS. GOOD.

NORTHWEST FITZROY SOLE LUNDY FASTNET IRISH SEA:
WESTERLY BACKING SOUTHWESTERLY, 4 OR 5 INCREASING 6 TO GALE 8, PERHAPS SEVERE GALE 9 LATER. ROUGH OR VERY ROUGH, BECOMING VERY ROUGH OR HIGH EXCEPT IN IRISH SEA. SHOWERS, RAIN LATER. GOOD BECOMING MODERATE OR POOR.

SHANNON:
SOUTHWEST 5 TO 7 INCREASING 7 TO SEVERE GALE 9. VERY ROUGH BECOMING HIGH. SQUALLY SHOWERS THEN RAIN. GOOD BECOMING POOR.

ROCKALL MALIN HEBRIDES BAILEY:
MAINLY SOUTHWEST 5 TO 7 INCREASING 7 TO SEVERE GALE 9, OCCASIONALLY STORM 10 FOR A TIME. VERY ROUGH BECOMING HIGH. SQUALLY SHOWERS THEN RAIN. GOOD BECOMING POOR.

FAIR ISLE:
SOUTH OR SOUTHWEST 5 TO 7 INCREASING 7 TO SEVERE GALE 9, PERHAPS STORM 10 LATER. VERY ROUGH BECOMING HIGH. SQUALLY SHOWERS THEN RAIN. GOOD BECOMING POOR.

FAEROES:
SOUTH OR SOUTHWEST 5 TO 7 INCREASING 7 TO SEVERE GALE 9, PERHAPS STORM 10 FOR A TIME LATER BEFORE DECREASING WEST OR SOUTHWEST 5 OR 6. VERY ROUGH BECOMING HIGH. SQUALLY SHOWERS THEN RAIN. GOOD BECOMING POOR.

SOUTHEAST ICELAND:
SOUTHWESTERLY 5 OR 6 BACKING SOUTHEASTERLY 7 TO SEVERE GALE 9, VEERING SOUTHWESTERLY LATER. ROUGH OR VERY ROUGH, BECOMING HIGH LATER. OCCASIONAL RAIN. MODERATE OR GOOD, BECOMING POOR.
posted by grouse at 8:39 AM on October 22, 2008 [5 favorites]

WIZARD PEOPLE, DEAR READERS
BRAD NEELY

‘KINGS AND BEARS OFTEN WORRY THEIR KEEPERS.’

CHAPTER 1

PRIVET DRIVE. THE OMINOUS FOG MAKES THE NIGHT-TIME EVEN MORE HOARY AND MYSTERIOUS THAN USUAL HERE IN SUBURBAN BRITANNIA. OUT FROM THE SHADOWS OF GOD KNOWS WHAT DIMENSION STEPS THE OLDEST WIZARD IN THE BOOKS, THE NEAR-DEAD DUMBLEDORE. HE IS CLEARLY A POWERFUL BEAST AND WALKS WITH DIGNITY DESPITE HIS AGE AND ATTIRE.

HE SEES A CAT THAT HE KNOWS RIGHT BEFORE HE SETS TO WORK. HE PRODUCES A WIZARD’S TOOL KNOWN AS THE STREET DARKENER, AND, WITH A PRACTICED ANGLING OF THE ARM, BEGINS TO SIPHON AWAY THE CLARITY MADE FROM MANKIND’S BULBS. MAGICAL DEEDS ARE AFOOT, DEAR READERS, MAGICAL DARKNESS A MUST.

THE ATMOSPHERE COMPLETE, THE CAT, NOW PROTECTED BY SHADOWS, TRANSFORMS INTO WHO ELSE BUT PROFESSOR HARDCASTLE MCCORMICK, AN OLD FRIEND AND ALLY OF DUMBLEDORE, THE HALF-DEAD. SHE IS TRULY A GREAT WIZARD, ALSO, AND POSSESSES MANY A SKILL THAT MIGHT AID IN TO-NIGHT’S RANDOM ERRANDS.

THEY SPEAK GRAVELY OF TO-NIGHT’S HORRIBLE DECISION. AND, DEAR READERS, TRUST ME, THEIR WORK TO-NIGHT IS DUBIOUS. WHAT ARE THEY TO DO? ARE THEY REALLY GOING TO GO THROUGH WITH TO-NIGHT’S DESPERATE PLAN? THE CHOICE IS CLEARLY IN POWERFUL HANDS, AS DUMBLEDORE PONDERS WITH HIS GIGANTIC BRAIN.

JUST THEN, A LIGHT APPROACHES IN THE CLOUDS. SHREDDING THROUGH THE STRATUS DESCENDS NO OTHER THAN HAGAR THE HORRIBLE, A HUGE MAN THAT, IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW BETTER, YOU MAY MISTAKE HIM FOR A GIANT, HAIRY TRUCK. HE IS DUMBLEDORE’S GOFER AND NOW, PERCHED UPON HIS SKY LEOPARD, HAGAR SEEMS AT THE END OF AN ERRAND THAT HAS ALMOST BESTED HIM.

BUT LO! OUT FROM HIS MANLY PAP, HE PRODUCES THE MOST POWERFUL BABY IN THE UNIVERSE. DUMBLEDORE ACCEPTS THE SWADDLED CHILD LIKE THE DELICATE BUTTON OF AN ATOMIC BOMB. HIS BOWELS TENSE. NO FALSE MOVES HERE.

HARDCASTLE MCCORMICK PLEADS WITH DUMBLEDORE NOT TO GO THROUGH WITH THE PLAN. WHAT PLAN, YOU ASK? WELL, THEY ARE GOING TO LEAVE THIS VERITABLE WEAPON OF THE GODS, THIS PARADOX OF BABINESS AND POWER, RIGHT HERE, ON A FRICKIN’ MUGGLE’S DOORSTEP!

BUT ‘SHHH’, SAYS DUMBLEDORE TO THE BABY, AND ‘SHHH’, HE SAYS TO THE LADY. AS HAGAR GNASHES HIS TEETH IN INNER CONFLICT AND ALMOST DROWNS IN SNOTTY, FEARFUL TEARS, HIS MASTER DUMBLEDORE TELLS HIM TO WAIT IN THE FRICKIN’ CAR IF HE HAS TO.

AND THE BABY IS LEFT, THE BABY WITH THE MOST TELLING OF SCARS, THE BABY THAT IS THE SEED OF POWER, THE BABY THAT IS THE INHERITOR OF THE HORRIBLE, HOARY HAMMER OF THE GODS, HARRY, THE WIZARD WHO WAS DESTINED TO VANQUISH ALL EVIL, AND, IF HE SO WISH, BRING IT BACK AGAIN!

HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S STONE!
posted by chuckdarwin at 8:46 AM on October 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

THE QUICK BROWN FONZ JUMPED OVER POTSY
posted by parmanparman at 8:47 AM on October 22, 2008

CHAPTER 2

HARRY POTTER WAKES TO THE SOUND OF HIS EVIL AUNT BANGING ON HIS BEDROOM’S TINY DOOR. HIS ADOPTED FAMILY TREATS HIM SO POORLY HE CAN BARELY KEEP FROM INCINERATING THEM WITH ANY NUMBER OF SPELLS HE KEEPS HIDDEN WAY UP HIS SLEEVES.

HARRY’S ROOM IS COOL, THOUGH. HE’S CLEARLY MADE THE MOST OF IT, UNLIKE HIS COUSIN, ROAST BEEFY, WHOSE BIRTHDAY HAPPENS TO BE TO-DAY. THE COUSIN HAS NO IDEA OF THE POWER HE IS TOYING WITH. HE IS INDEED A MEAN LITTLE PUKE, WHO IS BORDERLINE RETARDED AND MUST SHOUT MOISTLY EVERY STUPID SENTENCE HE MANAGES TO PIECE TOGETHER.

AS HARRY PREPARES BREAKFAST, TOTALLY MAGIC-FREE AND LABOR-INTENSIVE, HIS VOMIT-INDUCING UNCLE, GIGGLE SNORT, LOOKS ON AS THE EVIL MOTHER DOES THE BLIND MAN BIRTHDAY DANCE WITH ROAST BEEFY. THE LIVING ROOM TURNS OUT TO BE FULL OF PRESENTS FOR THE NONPLUSSED ROAST BEEFYWEEFS.

OF COURSE, IT IS NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ENOUGH. CHUNKS OF DEMANDS SPLATTER ON HIS PARENTS’ FACES. HARRY MUST STAY CALM AND REPRESS HIS URGES OF IGNITING THE HOUSE IN A DEMONSTRATIVE FIREBALL, ENDING THE LIFE OF THESE THREE LITTLE PIGS. BUT OUR WOLF REMAINS COOL.

TO-DAY THE FAMILY IS GOING TO THE ZOO, AND ON THE WAY UNCLE PIG FAT SINISTERLY SUGGESTS A BEATING TO HARRY IF HE SEES ANY KIND OF MAGIC OUT OF HIM. OH HO, DEAR READER! IT LOOKS LIKE UNCLE SALT PORKER HAS SOME IDEA OF OUR HERO’S MAGICAL BRAIN. HIS FACE IS THE WORST.

THE FAMILY SEEMS TO BE HAPPY WITH NOTHING. A GIANT BURMESE LEOPARD-EATING SNAKE BASKS IN FRONT OF THEIR PIGGISH FACES LIKE A POEM, AND, OF COURSE, THEY WANT IT TO DANCE FOR THEM.

BUT NOT OUR HARRY. THE SWEET WIZARD IN REMISSION IS PSYCHICALLY LINKED WITH THE BEAUTIFUL SNAKE-BEING, HAVING DREAMT HIMSELF OF EATING LEOPARDS, BOARS, AND DIK-DIKS. AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW? HARRY CAN ACTUALLY SPEAK WITH THIS CREATURE! WILL HIS TALENTS EVER STOP EMERGING? HARRY, WITH THE SOCIAL GRACE OF A SAINT, IS RELATING WITH THE ORPHANED, CAPTIVE, PIG-HATING SNAKE.

IT IS A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT, INDEED, AND HARRY, FOR ONCE, FEELS IN TUNE WITH THE NATURAL UNIVERSE. THE SNAKE HAS NO PARENTS, IS DANGEROUS, AND IS BEAUTIFUL. HARRY SEES HIMSELF HERE, IN THIS SNAKE, LIKE LOOKING AT HIS IMAGE IN THE MIRROR. IT IS A PERFECT MOMENT.

BUT COUSIN ROAST BEEFYWEEFS NOTICES SOME ACTION, AND RUNS OVER TO SPOIL IT. HARRY TOTALLY LOSES IT AND FRAGS ROAST BEEFY GOOD WITH A GLASS-BE-GONE SPELL! WAH-OOOSH! THE TERRIBLE COUSIN SPILLS HIS ASS INTO THE CAGE AS THE SUPINE BEAST NOBLY ERECTS ITSELF OUT AND IS THANKING HARRY AS HE SLITHERS INTO THE NIGHTMARE HEARTS OF ALL OF THE MUGGLES NEARBY. EVERYONE IS AFRAID OF THIS BEAST BUT HARRY. OF COURSE: HARRY, WHO SEEMS TO BE PART OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE NOW.

AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW, DEAR READER? PROVIDENCE MUST HAVE CAST A GLASS-BE-BACK SPELL! BECAUSE TAKE A LOOK AT THE ZOO’S NEW ACQUISITION! IT IS A PLAY, A TRAGIC COMEDY, THE LAMENT OF ROAST BEEFY O’WEEFY! HA HA! THE FAMILY PORKUMS IS HIT PALPABLY WITH SHAME. YES, HARRY, DO LAUGH ON. LAUGH RIGHT IN THEIR UNTHINKABLE FACES.
posted by chuckdarwin at 8:48 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

I LOVE YOU, GROUSE
posted by altolinguistic at 9:05 AM on October 22, 2008

e. e. cummings is shitting himself, you guys.
posted by grubi at 9:09 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, conSECtetuer adipiscing elit. Etiam placerat nunc ut libero. Phasellus nec elit et libero mattis suscipit. Maecenas vel turpis sit amet urna vulputate tempus. Nullam quis erat et nisl fermentum vulputate. Aliquam non erat. Fusce volutpat sagittis nisl. Nullam diam libero, elementum eget, mollis a, aliquam ac, diam. Maecenas vel augue sit amet dui pRETium gravida. NunC Aliquet dui vel sapien. Suspendisse potenti. Cras risus. Maecenas volutpat blandit mauris. Nunc sagittis aliquam tellus. Aliquam tincidunt semper urna. Nulla lacus magna, mollis a, consequat sit amet, imperdiet eget, erat.

Aenean convallis ante. Donec a mauris eget ante scelerisque suscipit. Donec urna neque, volutpat quis, ultrices sed, lobortis sed, lectus. Morbi elementum nibh. Vestibulum ante iPSum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia Curae; Integer molestie quam nec metus. Quisque sapien quam, condimentum nec, ornare vitae, hendrerit tincidunt, est. Fusce augue orci, suscipit vitae, commodo in, commodo ut, pede. In rutrum arcu sed felis. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Donec in mauris et mauris rutrum dignissim. Quisque mattis. Sed tortor augue, posuere ac, bibendum a, egestas vitae, risus.

Donec risus purus, tincidunt ac, ultrices quis, egestas commodo, turpis. Phasellus dapibus ultrices velit. Ut et neque dictum enim sollicitudin dictum. Phasellus eget LOrem id purus tempus tempor. DoneCK tristique nunc. Suspendisse interdum, quam nec pharetra hendrerit, ligula enim tincidunt risus, vitae bibendum mi nibh et dui. Vivamus eget nisl vitae urna bibendum molestie. Cras varius erat in massa. Cras vel est a ante congue dapibus. Aliquam id leo. Nullam erat. Fusce dictum arcu sed quam.
posted by lostburner at 9:10 AM on October 22, 2008 [5 favorites]

IT'S ALL GREEK TO ME

THIS POST IS THE BEST STRESS RELIEF EVAR

I LOVE YOU ALL
posted by elfgirl at 9:13 AM on October 22, 2008

I'M SORRY, LOSTBURNER. I DON'T REALLY CARE FOR OVALTINE.

AND I NEVER WILL.
posted by sparkletone at 9:15 AM on October 22, 2008

AWESOME.
posted by brundlefly at 9:28 AM on October 22, 2008

HAIL ERIS FULL OF GRACE
HOLY QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE

THE LIGHTS WENT OUT AND
NIKKI STARTED TO GRIND
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:35 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

sparkletone: I'VE ALSO BEEN MEANING TO WATCH THAT CALL OF CTHULHU SILENT MOVIE. ANYONE SEEN THAT?

WAT JHARRIS SAID. IT'S REALLY WELL DONE, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT.
posted by Caduceus at 9:46 AM on October 22, 2008

GODDAMNIT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT MY PROBLEMS
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 9:47 AM on October 22, 2008

AWESOME LIKE A HOT DOG.
posted by elfgirl at 9:49 AM on October 22, 2008

CASP LOCK MAKES ME TALLER
posted by rmless at 9:51 AM on October 22, 2008

OMG CAPS LOCK DAY!!! LOOK AT ME GO OMG JUST YOU WAIT FOR BLINK TAG DAY! BE THERE OR BE SQUARE
posted by Xere at 9:57 AM on October 22, 2008

IT TAKES A LOT TO QUALIFY AS CRAPFLOODING ON CAPS LOCK DAY

CONGRATULATIONS COMMENT-NOW-NOT-HERE-ANYMORE GUY
posted by cortex at 9:59 AM on October 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

MAN I'M SAD I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL AND BE AWAY FROM THIS GLORIOUS THREAD ALL DAY. I'D FORGOTTEN HOW MUCH I LOVED CAPS LOCK. CAPS LOCK TRULY IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME.
posted by Caduceus at 10:00 AM on October 22, 2008

I TYPED ALL MY EMAILS TO MY BOSS WITH CAPS LOCK ON AND HE FIRED ME!!!1!!
I SAID 'C'MON ITS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL!!!!'
HE SAID 'I AM A PIRATE. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.'

DAMN YOU METAFILTER!!!!
posted by cimbrog at 10:03 AM on October 22, 2008

I AM MY OWN BOSS AND I JUST FIRED MYSELF!!
posted by languagehat at 10:11 AM on October 22, 2008

Dormant Gorilla: "GODDAMNIT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT MY PROBLEMS"

I AGREE

SOMEBODY SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT ALL THE PROBLEMS
posted by Rhaomi at 10:12 AM on October 22, 2008

HAI GUYS WHATS HAPPNIN IN THIS HURR THRED
posted by dismas at 10:19 AM on October 22, 2008

DAY KYAPPUSUROKKU!!
posted by not_on_display at 10:20 AM on October 22, 2008

OMG YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND THIS THREAD NOW

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE WAKE ME UP ON MIDNIGHT

I MEAN I COULD HAVE SEEN CAPS LOCK CLAUS MAYBE
posted by Metroid Baby at 11:01 AM on October 22, 2008

HE SAID 'I AM A PIRATE. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.'

YOU SHOULD HAVE STABBED HIM WITH YOUR NINJA SWORD. THAT WOULD HAVE SHOWN HIM.
posted by quin at 11:15 AM on October 22, 2008

SOMETHING AWFUL SPRUNG A LEAK
posted by clockworkjoe at 11:23 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS
posted by PenDevil at 11:26 AM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

HI THERE.
posted by loquacious at 11:41 AM on October 22, 2008

OUT ON THE WILEY, WINDY MOORS
WE'D ROLL AND FALL IN GREEN
YOU HAD A TEMPER, LIKE MY JEALOUSY
TOO HOT, TOO GREEDY
HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME
WHEN I NEEDED TO POSSES YOU?
I HATED YOU, I LOVED YOU TOO

BAD DREAMS IN THE NIGHT
THEY TOLD ME I WAS GOING TO LOSE THE FIGHT
LEAVE BEHIND MY WUTHERING, WUTHERING
WUTHERING HEIGHTS

HEATHCLIFF, IT'S ME, CATHY, I'VE COME HOME
I'M SO COLD, LET ME IN YOUR WINDOW
HEATHCLIFF, IT'S ME, CATHY, I'VE COME HOME
I'M SO COLD, LET ME IN YOUR WINDOW

OOH IT GETS DARK, IT GETS LONELY
ON THE OTHER SIDE FROM YOU
I PINE A LOT, I FIND THE LOT
FALLS THROUGH WITHOUT YOU
I'M COMING BACK, LOVE
CRUEL HEATHCLIFF, MY ONE DREAM
MY ONLY MASTER

TOO LONG I ROAMED IN THE NIGHT
I'M COMING BACK TO HIS SIDE TO PUT IT RIGHT
I'M COMING HOME TO WUTHERING, WUTHERING
WUTHERING HEIGHTS

HEATHCLIFF, IT'S ME, CATHY, I'VE COME HOME
I'M SO COLD, LET ME IN YOUR WINDOW
HEATHCLIFF, IT'S ME, CATHY, I'VE COME HOME
I'M SO COLD, LET ME IN YOUR WINDOW

OOH LET ME HAVE IT, LET ME GRAB YOUR SOUL AWAY
OOH LET ME HAVE IT, LET ME GRAB YOUR SOUL AWAY
YOU KNOW IT'S ME, CATHY

HEATHCLIFF, IT'S ME, CATHY, I'VE COME HOME
I'M SO COLD, LET ME IN YOUR WINDOW
HEATHCLIFF, IT'S ME, CATHY, I'VE COME HOME
I'M SO COLD, LET ME IN YOUR WINDOW
HEATHCLIFF, IT'S ME, CATHY, I'VE COME HOME
I'M SO COLD, LET ME IN YOUR WINDOW
HEATHCLIFF, IT'S ME, CATHY, I'VE COME HOME
I'M SO COLD, LET ME IN YOUR WINDOW
I'M SO COLD
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:07 PM on October 22, 2008

MY FAVORITE DAY!!!! YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!ONEONEONE
posted by joedan at 12:21 PM on October 22, 2008

CAPS LOCK DAY IS RUINED. I STILL HAVE TO HIT SHIFT TO GET AN EXCLAMATION POINT!!!!!!!!
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 12:26 PM on October 22, 2008

THIS MAKES MY DAY
THIS WHOLE THING
IF IT WASN'T SO MUCH CLICKING I'D FAVORITE YOU ALL
posted by Monster_Zero at 12:32 PM on October 22, 2008

I STILL HAVE TO HIT SHIFT TO GET AN EXCLAMATION POINT!!!!!!!!

L0L 2 TEH N00B111
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:36 PM on October 22, 2008

THIS IS JUST TO SAY

I HAVE EATEN
THE PLUMS
THAT WERE IN
THE ICEBOX

AND WHICH
YOU WERE PROBABLY
SAVING
FOR BREAKFAST

FORGIVE ME
THEY WERE DELICIOUS
SO SWEET
AND SO COLD
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:40 PM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY BUT I'M SAYING IT IN CAPS LOCKS MOTHERFUCKERS
posted by Football Bat at 1:20 PM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

OH HAY I WORE MY "ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME" T-SHIRT TODAY DUE TO UNINTENTIONAL AWESOMENESS.
posted by elizardbits at 1:23 PM on October 22, 2008

IF I COULD, I WOULD POST THIS IMAGE SEVERAL TIMES.

SO VERY CUTE.
posted by sparkletone at 2:07 PM on October 22, 2008

I WISH I COULD CAPS LOCK MY UNICODE SNOWMAN.

☃
posted by NemesisVex at 2:14 PM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

PRACTICALLY EVERY ONE OF THE TOP FORTY RECORDS BEING PLAYED ON EVERY RADIO STATION IN THE UNITED STATES IS A COMMUNICATION TO THE CHILDREN TO "TAKE A TRIP," TO "COP OUT," TO "GROOVE." THE PSYCHEDELIC JACKETS ON THE RECORD ALBUMS HAVE THEIR OWN HIDDEN SYMBOLS AND MESSAGES, AS WELL AS ALL THE LYRICS OF ALL THE TOP ROCK SONGS. AND THEY ALL SING THE SAME REFRAIN: IT'S FUN TO TAKE A TRIP -- PUT ACID IN YOUR VEINS.
posted by waraw at 4:19 PM on October 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

RETURNED MAIL: UNDELIVERABLE

THIS IS THE POSTFIX PROGRAM AT HOST MUEPRO.DE

I'M SORRY TO HAVE T INFORM YOU THAT THE MESSAGE RETURNED
BELOW COULD NOT BE DELIVERED TO ONE OR MORE DESTINATIONS.

FOR FURTHER ASSISTANCE PLEASE SEND MAIL TO POSTMASTER

IF YOU DO SO, PLEASE INCLUDE THIS PROBLEM REPORT. YOU CAN
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=========

FROM: "DHEERAJ OAR"
DATE: OCTOBER 22 2008 11:21:11 AM PDT
TO: [e-mail]
SUBJECT: FORTRICH

HELLO DARLING GEYSERMAIL.BLINK.PLOGOANZJXMJ
YOUR DICK WILL BE ROCK HARD EVERY TIME YOU NEED IT
HTTP://CAPSLOCKDAY.COM/

DHEERAJ OAR
posted by churl at 4:20 PM on October 22, 2008

FIRST PERSON TO MENTION SARAH PALIN.
posted by lizzicide at 4:34 PM on October 22, 2008

INCONTROVERTIBLE FACT: THE IPHONE SUPPORTS CAPS LOCK.

RELATED DISCOVERY: THE TYPO CORRECTION KNOWS FEW WORDS IN CAPS.

SOLUTION: TYPE IN CAPS ON MY PHONE MORE OFTEN.
posted by sparkletone at 5:08 PM on October 22, 2008

AS OUR EVENINGS WIND DOWN AND WE REFLECT ON THE DAY WE HAD FOR CAPS LOCK I THINK ITS IMPORTNT TO REMEMBER THE TRUE MEANING OF CAPS LOCK

IT IS A LOCK FOR CAPS AND THAT IS THE TRUE MENAING

DONT WORRY ABOUT WTHER OR LIONS IT IS ALL CAPS LOCK SURROUNDING US IN A BIG WARM EMBRACE AND IT MAKES IT ALL BETTER
posted by Greg Nog at 5:22 PM on October 22, 2008

Why is everyone shouting?
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 7:51 PM on October 22, 2008

we're NOT shouting, JUST celebrating
posted by infini at 8:16 PM on October 22, 2008

I MISSED CAPSLOCKDAY BY JUST A WEEK LAST YEAR BUT THIS TIME I AM HERE AND OMG IT SHINES WITH THE GLORY OF A THOUSAND SUNS I AM SPEECHLESS WELL NOT SPEECHLESS YOU KNOW BUT STILL I AM OVERWHELMED WHAT WITH ALL THE GLORY AND WHAT HAVE YOU
posted by maqsarian at 8:21 PM on October 22, 2008

I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED MY CAPS LOCK COMMENTARY IN THE WRONG THREAD THIS YEAR :[

BUT STILL

IMA LOCK A CAP IN YO ASCII
posted by moift at 8:53 PM on October 22, 2008

SO I HEER YOU LIEK--aw, crap.
posted by elfgirl at 9:02 PM on October 22, 2008

TIME'S UP IN THE EAST COAST, BUT I'VE GOT 50 MORE MINUTES.

I DON'T KNOW THAT I'M GOING TO USE THEM VERY EFFECTIVELY THOUGH.

I MENTIONED I LOVE YOU GUYS, RIGHT?

FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY ASCII <3.
posted by sparkletone at 9:10 PM on October 22, 2008

GOOD MORNING. IN LESS THAN AN HOUR, KEYBOARDS FROM HERE WILL JOIN OTHERS FROM AROUND THE WORLD, AND YOU WILL BE LAUNCHING THE LARGEST INTERNET MOVEMENT IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND.

MANKIND -- THAT WORD SHOULD HAVE NEW MEANING FOR ALL OF US TODAY.

WE CAN'T BE CONSUMED BY OUR PETTY DIFFERENCES ANYMORE.

WE WILL BE UNITED IN OUR COMMON INTERESTS.

PERHAPS ITS FATE THAT TODAY IS THE 22ND OF OCTOBER, AND YOU WILL ONCE AGAIN BE FIGHTING FOR OUR FREEDOM -- NOT FROM TYRANNY, OPPRESSION, OR PERSECUTION, BUT FROM MUNDANITY.

WE'RE FIGHTING FOR OUR RIGHT TO SHOUT, TO BE HILARIOUSLY OBNOXIOUS.

AND SHOULD WE WIN THE DAY, THE 22ND OF OCTOBER WILL NO LONGER BE KNOWN AS AN INTERNET HOLIDAY, BUT AS THE DAY WHEN THE WORLD DECLARED IN ONE EXTREMELY LOUD VOICE:

WE WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT

WE WILL NOT VANISH WITHOUT A FIGHT

WE'RE GOING TO LIVE ON

WE'RE GOING TO SURVIVE

TODAY, WE CELEBRATE OUR INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY!

…

WHAT’S THAT?

IT’S ALMOST OVER?

*cough*

Well. Damn.
posted by Rhaomi at 10:16 PM on October 22, 2008

dam
posted by flotson at 11:16 PM on October 22, 2008

I have never been more pleased with lowercase characters.
posted by Korou at 12:02 AM on October 23, 2008

DONUT WORRY IT WIL BE CAPS LOC KDAY AGIAN NEXT YEARRR111`1
> ▊
posted by not_on_display at 8:10 AM on October 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

FIN
posted by dmd at 3:03 PM on October 26, 2008