Rehearse this line, future slaves: "Merry Darkseid. I got you a Darkseid."

August 24, 2009 6:42 PM

Previously, we saw Darkseid rant to the empty air. Now the nightmarish lord of evil -- reduced to selling old Kiss cassette tapes to support his drinking habit, and living in a dumpster behind the Baby Gap -- rants to Twitter as HOBODARKSEID. Along the way, he shares his views on the ending of "Moonlighting," sings Dio's "Holy Diver," and confesses a love for "Mad Men." He also intends to destroy us all. Shudder/enjoy.
posted by kittens for breakfast (14 comments total)

@HOBODARKSEID @HOBODARKSEID @HOBODARKSEID @HOBODARKSEID @HOBODARKSEID @HOBODARKSEID @HOBODARKSEID @HOBODARKSEID #FOLLOWDARKSEIDAY #CRETINS
posted by Artw at 7:16 PM on August 24, 2009

Better than I would have thought, thanks K4B.
posted by doctor_negative at 7:18 PM on August 24, 2009

spells verkackte wrong.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 7:30 PM on August 24, 2009

What's fucked up is now I'm reading The Art of Dramatic Writing, and it all suddenly feels like it was written by Darkseid:

Some go so far as to claim there can be no rules [for writing] whatsoever. This is the strangest view of all. We know there are rules for eating, walking, and breathing; we know there are rules for painting, music, dancing, flying, and bridge building; we know there are rules for every manifestation of life and nature -- why, then, should writing be the sole exception? Obviously IT IS NOT. THERE IS ONE RULE AND THAT RULE IS DARKSEID. SOME WRITERS HAVE TOLD US THAT A PLAY IS MADE UP OF DIFFERENT PARTS: THEME, PLOT, OTHER STUFF, WHATEVER. THESE WRITERS ARE MISTAKEN. WRITING IS MADE UP OF ONE PART: DARKSEID. PLUS A SIDE OF DARKSEID. NOW GET DADDY HIS SLIPPERS AND SOME BOURBON. DARKSEID'S FEET HURT. OH GODDAMMIT HERE COME THE PIGS TO HASSLE DARKSEID SOME MORE WHO DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:33 PM on August 24, 2009 [16 favorites]

ROBERT MCKEE IS
posted by Artw at 7:34 PM on August 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

The current Goblet of Sorrow plotline is cracking me up. DO NOT DEPOSIT WITHIN IT THE LEAVINGS OF YOUR CURRENCY! ASS!
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 7:43 PM on August 24, 2009

I love Darkseid.

I might love hobo Darkseid more.
posted by HostBryan at 7:59 PM on August 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

After word of the Iran protests was able to slip through the Tehran regime's grasp thanks to Twitter, I went from hating the site to on-the-fence. Even after a couple weeks of Twitter use, I remained up on that fence. DARKSEID JENKINS is officially my tipping point. TWITTER IS!

also:

"IN POINT-FIVE MILES YOU WILL SUBMIT BOTH TO THE LEFT HAND TURN AS WELL AS TO DARKSEID'S WILL." THEN IT GOES BING-BONG.
posted by EatTheWeak at 8:26 PM on August 24, 2009

Why is Darkseid Jewish?
posted by 1adam12 at 9:35 PM on August 24, 2009

Whenever supervillains show up on twitter...it's never the ones you'd hope. Like Ashton Kutcher. Sure he's got that whole plan to destroy western civilization rocking, but I never sense the anger and bitterness that typically drives world dominating types from aplusk.

In other words, thank the twitterverse for HOBODARKSEID. I'm sure I will enjoy his gritty realism for a good long while.
posted by SinisterPurpose at 9:40 PM on August 24, 2009

Why is Darkseid Jewish?

*EVERYBODY* whose anybody in comics is jewish. It's a conspiracy!
posted by Artw at 9:50 PM on August 24, 2009

Nightmarish lord of evil, indeed.
posted by DaddyNewt at 10:48 PM on August 24, 2009

Why is Darkseid Jewish?

Because he was circumcised?
posted by PlusDistance at 6:53 AM on August 25, 2009

Let's not forget the Jack Chick-style Darkseid tract...
posted by bitter-girl.com at 8:24 AM on August 25, 2009 [2 favorites]