THE TRICK TO BUSNIESS SUCCESS IS SPECIFC DEMOGRAPHICS APPEAL WHICH IS WHY DOUR PEOPLE WILL FLOCK TO MY NEW PRODUCT "SERIOUS PUTTY"

April 14, 2010 9:53 AM

"HERES A HANDY TIP FOR NOT FORGETTING ABOUT DRE, JUST WRITE IN YUOR MOLESKINE 'REMEMBER TO PICK UP DR DRE ON WAY HOME FROM WORK'". Confused by Twitter? Don't see the point? MeFi's own Greg Nog single-handedly validates the micro-blogging site with his #twurts.

Recent gems include a very special Easter thought, a tip for women named Beverly, and the next great teen best-seller.

Greg, previously.

posted by jbickers (137 comments total)

Apparently, there is a mefi member who writes amusing tweets.
posted by Slap Factory at 10:01 AM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Yes, please.
posted by Dr-Baa at 10:02 AM on April 14, 2010

For more all-caps Twitter fun, check out 419scam.
posted by grouse at 10:03 AM on April 14, 2010

Why is this here?
posted by Afroblanco at 10:06 AM on April 14, 2010 [4 favorites]

YO GREG_NOG I HEARD YOU LIKED FOOD SO I MADE YOU A DELIGHTFUL SAFFRON RISOTTO WITH ALMONDS.

wait i think I did it wrong
posted by The Whelk at 10:07 AM on April 14, 2010 [10 favorites]

I just saw GregNog the other night, or at least I think I did, it's all a blur. He was singing show tunes, which is marginally less embarrasing than using twitter.
posted by jonmc at 10:07 AM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Why is this here?
posted by Afroblanco at 10:06 AM on April 14

It's pretty good dude
posted by Optimus Chyme at 10:08 AM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Greg_Nog and hermitosis DOING THINGS TOGETHER
posted by The Whelk at 10:09 AM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

wait i think I did it wrong

Yeah, you really did. Almonds?! Try octopus instead.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:10 AM on April 14, 2010

Apparently, Greg_Nog's check cleared.
Everyone is clever on twitter for at least 15 posts.
posted by willmize at 10:11 AM on April 14, 2010

Saffron risotto with octopus just sounds horrid.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 10:12 AM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Sounds horrid"? Try looks terrifying.
posted by Nothing... and like it at 10:14 AM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

It is good.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:15 AM on April 14, 2010

IN YOUR FACE, SHAKESPEHERIAN
posted by Nothing... and like it at 10:16 AM on April 14, 2010

It's pretty good dude

Okay, then obviously I don't get it. They seem to be half-coherent tweets in all caps that are funny in the "yes, I understand it's 'funny' but it didn't actually make me laugh" sense.

I mean, yes, I've met Greg Nog, he's a cool guy, etc etc etc, but is there any reason his twitter feed is particularly good?

Is there some kind of twitter inside joke that I'm not getting?
posted by Afroblanco at 10:16 AM on April 14, 2010 [5 favorites]

Don't see the point?

I still don't.
posted by chillmost at 10:17 AM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Which means they'll be part of the Library of Congress (ht to lewistate).
posted by weston at 10:17 AM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Okay, then obviously I don't get it.

basically waht happens is Greg uses twittar
posted by bondcliff at 10:17 AM on April 14, 2010 [16 favorites]

IN YOUR FACE, SHAKESPEHERIAN

THAT IS HOW I EAT IT

I PUT IT IN MY FACE

THE TENTACLES ARE CHEWY AND DELICIOUS
posted by shakespeherian at 10:18 AM on April 14, 2010 [14 favorites]

is there any reason his twitter feed is particularly good?

Yes, it's funny. This is a result of Greg Nog being funny, which in turn is the result of Greg Nog having a sense of humor.
posted by DU at 10:19 AM on April 14, 2010 [8 favorites]

THE TENTACLES ARE CHEWY AND DELICIOUS

YOU. ARE. A. MONSTER.
posted by The Whelk at 10:20 AM on April 14, 2010

http://twitter.com/the_ironsheik
posted by Damn That Television at 10:23 AM on April 14, 2010 [4 favorites]

Is this something I'd have to have a Twitter to understand?
posted by spinturtle at 10:24 AM on April 14, 2010

Saffron risotto with octopus just sounds horrid.

You white folks damned near a lost cause.

(yes, I realize that risotto has become the white people (in the Stuff White People Like sense) Eye-Talian dish of choice, but I've been eating my nonna's risotto milanese since before i could sneeze properly and she didn't need no silly add ins. But octopus is pretty much always tasty. Fuck it, I'm going back on the porch.)
posted by jonmc at 10:25 AM on April 14, 2010

WANT TO WIN AN IPAD? JUST RETWURT THE WORD IPAD IN A BATHROOM MIRROR THREE TIMES! BE CAREFUL FOR GHOSTS THOUGH #TWURT #IPAD
posted by Artw at 10:26 AM on April 14, 2010 [4 favorites]

I feel that this comment about "Time for some stories" applies here as well:

"The caps make me feel like I'm running really fast with Greg Nog and he is yelling to me because you have to yell when you run and when you do it always sounds super important."
posted by specialagentwebb at 10:27 AM on April 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

I prefer Fireland
posted by thanotopsis at 10:28 AM on April 14, 2010 [7 favorites]

http://twitter.com/mrlarryking
posted by Optimus Chyme at 10:31 AM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

YOU. ARE. A. MONSTER.

OM NOM NOM
posted by shakespeherian at 10:31 AM on April 14, 2010

Dear MeFi, thanks for continuing to re-enforce my belief that Twitter is for the self-important and only marginally clever. Kisses!
posted by mikoroshi at 10:32 AM on April 14, 2010 [4 favorites]

Which means they'll be part of the Library of Congress

I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed or proud. It feels like the Vatican naming a saint for the internet (more on Isidore of Seville, and A Prayer before Logging onto the Internet and the Catholic Online Forum). Should I be happy they're getting involved with the internet, or snicker because they're trying to get "hip" to the times? How is twitter any more important than the vastness of Usenet, or any subset of the internet?
posted by filthy light thief at 10:33 AM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dear Mikoroshi, thanks for continuing to re-enforce my belief that some people are total dicks who needlessly shit on things other people like. Kisses!
posted by The Whelk at 10:33 AM on April 14, 2010 [21 favorites]

I don't understand Twitter is the new I don't have a television.
posted by Artw at 10:33 AM on April 14, 2010 [34 favorites]

Kisses all round!
posted by Artw at 10:34 AM on April 14, 2010

Okay, so it's just not funny.

I was thinking with the all caps and the misspellings that there was some kind of inside joke I wasn't getting because I don't use twitter.

Nevermind, carry on.
posted by Afroblanco at 10:34 AM on April 14, 2010

Maybe I'm easy to please, but "GO OPA TWICE AS LOUD" got me laughing, so go Greg go.

Don't see the point?

Hey, be nice. Most people can't see the tops of their heads.
posted by kittyprecious at 10:34 AM on April 14, 2010

This is the best twitter account: http://twitter.com/JoseCanseco

JoseCanseco Hey u idiots go to www.spiffbox.com I want to c u face to face u punks scared
about 23 hours ago via TweetCaster

lol
posted by threetoed at 10:37 AM on April 14, 2010 [4 favorites]

It feels like the Vatican naming a saint for the internet (more on Isidore of Seville, and A Prayer before Logging onto the Internet and the Catholic Online Forum).

So you're saying the Church has developed a prayer specifically to ward off Chris Hansen?

Strange times.
posted by felix betachat at 10:37 AM on April 14, 2010

Okay, so it's just not funny.
posted by Afroblanco at 10:34 AM on April 14

Yup that's it you win you have unlocked Unlimited Ammo and Insane Mode
posted by Optimus Chyme at 10:38 AM on April 14, 2010 [9 favorites]

it's like Jack Handey got together with the guy who does Cat Town, they got hopped up on some manner of goofballs, and started a twitter account.

except less funny.
posted by hollisimo at 10:38 AM on April 14, 2010

Looks like a flamewar is breaking out **dons flame suit suit, also furry suit** lets rock
posted by Damn That Television at 10:41 AM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Shakespehereian's link is entited "Fancy eating octopus?" to which my answer is "YES, AS OPPOSED TO PURELY DECORATIVE OCTOPUS."
posted by infinitywaltz at 10:41 AM on April 14, 2010

Can someone explain what #TWURT means, please? I mean, I recognize that it's a Twitter hashtag, but not what it's for.
posted by bettafish at 10:42 AM on April 14, 2010

Greg_Nog and hermitosis DOING THINGS TOGETHER

THIS IS AWESOME BUT NEEDS MORE LADY GAGA.
posted by infinitywaltz at 10:42 AM on April 14, 2010

KISSES MOTHERFUCKERS!
posted by Artw at 10:42 AM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh, and Greg_Nog's not bad, but the funniest Twitter account is @JJONAHJAMESON, at least if you read superhero comics.
posted by bettafish at 10:43 AM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

They made me actually lol, so thanks.
posted by thekilgore at 10:43 AM on April 14, 2010

PURELY DECORATIVE OCTOPUS
posted by The Whelk at 10:43 AM on April 14, 2010

The only capslocked twit I follow is Drunk Hulk
posted by dinty_moore at 10:44 AM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Greg's comment that introduced me to the whole #TWURT thing:

I use twitter to speak in one voice and one voice only -- the voice of a subliterate YouTube commenter. The asinine broadcasting of "HEY HERE'S WHAT I AM DOING RIGHT NOW" to anyone willing to listen struck as me so solipsistic as to be hilarious, so I just ran with it. At best, it's an interesting writing exercise. At worst, it's annoying as hell to anyone willing to read it. But I kind of dig being annoying, so that's great!
posted by jbickers at 10:45 AM on April 14, 2010 [4 favorites]

Is this something I'd have to have a Twitter to understand?

I'm almost entirely sure you can tell someone's age and/or internet acuity based on whether they say they're "on $SOCIAL_NETWORK" or "have a $SOCIAL_NETWORK".
posted by griphus at 10:47 AM on April 14, 2010

I like feeding octopus to my son because there is nothing more awesome than the sight of an eighteen month old boy with tentacles hanging out of his mouth.
posted by ook at 10:48 AM on April 14, 2010 [14 favorites]

Greg_Nog and hermitosis DOING THINGS TOGETHER

I saw them singing show tunes together! and you know what that means...

they have compatible voices.
posted by jonmc at 10:48 AM on April 14, 2010

This hasn't sold me on twitter. Still seems like people trying too hard to be funny-constantly-which is tiring.
posted by JBennett at 10:53 AM on April 14, 2010

http://twitter.com/the_ironsheik

Man, that guy better hope that the real Iron Sheik never learns what Twitter is, otherwise he gonna put him in the camel clutch, break his baaaack, THEN fuck his ass, make him haaamble.
posted by DecemberBoy at 10:56 AM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

hollisimo, thank you many times over for introducing me to CAT TOWN.
posted by everichon at 10:58 AM on April 14, 2010

I have not yet met Greg Nog, but he is on the short list of online people I would like to meet, or would agree to meet. There is also a long list of people I do not want to meet under any circumstances unless they are skilled EMTs and I need one some day.
posted by theredpen at 11:00 AM on April 14, 2010

I like feeding octopus to my son because there is nothing more awesome than the sight of an eighteen month old boy with tentacles hanging out of his mouth.

PIX PLZ
posted by shakespeherian at 11:01 AM on April 14, 2010

I like feeding octopus to my son because there is nothing more awesome than the sight of an eighteen month old boy with tentacles hanging out of his mouth.

PIX PLZ

You people are the first ones face-down in the tide pool when the revolution comes.
posted by The Whelk at 11:04 AM on April 14, 2010 [11 favorites]

This thread taught me that Italians are not white people.
posted by rusty at 11:07 AM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

One day people will find something else to whine about other than Twitter.

I'm hoping it's something meaningful. Like the end of bacon salt. Or a secret Steve Jobs/Bill Gates sex tape being revealed.
posted by mephron at 11:07 AM on April 14, 2010

You people are the first ones face-down in the tide pool when the revolution comes.

That sounds... DELICIOUS
posted by shakespeherian at 11:08 AM on April 14, 2010

Last time I felt like this was when somebody introduced me to Doonesbury. I didn't work in an office enough or something, so I didn't get it.
Seems with this I don't use the internet enough or something. Still, I'm glad that other people find it entertaining... I will persevere.
posted by curtj at 11:15 AM on April 14, 2010

Last time I felt like this was when somebody introduced me to Doonesbury. I didn't work in an office enough or something, so I didn't get it.

I think you mean Dilbert. If you don't get Doonesbury, you don't smoke pot enough.
posted by jonmc at 11:21 AM on April 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

Well, I thought that "THIS YEAR JESUS IS IN THE MOOD FOR SHIRAZ" was funny. Does that make me part of the Cabal?
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:26 AM on April 14, 2010

I'm almost entirely sure you can tell someone's age and/or internet acuity based on whether they say they're "on $SOCIAL_NETWORK" or "have a $SOCIAL_NETWORK".

Yes, and it's not what most people think. For example, the average age of a twitter user is 39.

So... whose lawn am I supposed to get off of again?
posted by danny the boy at 11:28 AM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

I like feeding octopus to my son because there is nothing more awesome than the sight of an eighteen month old boy with tentacles hanging out of his mouth.

PIX PLZ

A little older than 18mo but...
posted by cosmac at 11:29 AM on April 14, 2010

Oh ha. Yeah - I meant Dilbert then.

I guess I used to smoke too much pot which is probably why anything kinda similar that begins with 'D', such as some American cartoon strip I have read once, feels like the same thing.
posted by curtj at 11:32 AM on April 14, 2010

It's like this is a Blue Thread but its blueness is actually a full-body skin suit with a mask. And there's a zipper in the back, just visible in the photoshopped mirror. The zipper is partially down and inside the sexy Blue outer skin we can see the actual Gray Thread Body.

I like this thread because of that skin-with-a-zipper aspect.

But wait.

What if inside the partially exposed Gray Thread body there was another, just barely exposed, Green Thread body and it asked you questions and stuff, like: What's a good risotto recipe?
posted by xod at 11:34 AM on April 14, 2010 [6 favorites]

Can someone write in 140 characters or more why I should be interested in Twitter? I clicked and clicked and can't quite see why it is useful and/or fun. Not hatin' on tweeters: just do not get it.
posted by kozad at 11:46 AM on April 14, 2010

For more all-caps Twitter fun, check out 419scam

For more all-caps Twitter fun, check out BIG BEN.
posted by Evilspork at 11:49 AM on April 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

Can someone write in 140 characters or more why I should be interested in Twitter?

Do you hate reading? Do you have electronic peripherals? Do they hate reading?
posted by kid ichorous at 11:54 AM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

haters gonna drink haterade in a hatecliner in the hatelounge all haternoon.
posted by The Whelk at 11:56 AM on April 14, 2010 [12 favorites]

There are many things to read, too many to count. I admit, books are my favorite, so you can just delete me from your friends list now, if you don't care for people who sound like elitists, but, seriously, I am not an elitist, and spend an hour or two a day on the Internet when it's available. I don't have an iPhone or a Blackberry and hardly use my cellphone, so I guess I must be a semi-Luddite, but I just don't see what makes Twitter funny: maybe it's just my sense of humor that keeps me from "getting" Twitter.
posted by kozad at 12:00 PM on April 14, 2010

you running around like he aint got guns, do you really think he sold them all? Possibly yes, but only to pay for the groceries for his family.
posted by chrisError at 12:02 PM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

When Greg starts giving out bottles of his home-made beer and cider you people are gonna be all "oh no I really do like twurts now for reals" and we'll be all like "psssst".


P.S GREG HINT HINT HINT
posted by The Whelk at 12:05 PM on April 14, 2010

Honestly, I didn't really get Twitter until I started following people who followed me back and we could have conversations.
posted by bettafish at 12:05 PM on April 14, 2010

Can someone write in 140 characters or more why I should be interested in Twitter?

Why do you need us to tell you what you should and shouldn't be interested in? Some of us find Twitter interesting. What I find interesting about Twitter is that it's sort of like a Swiss Army knife. People use it in a lot of different ways and for a lot of different reasons. I always laugh when people say "I HATE TWITTER WHY WOULD I CARE WHAT YOU HAD FOR BREAKFAST!!?" because, to me, that's like saying you hate books or you hate 8x11 sheets of paper or you hate, I dunno, rubber bands. I don't like getting shot in the eye with a rubber band, and if that's all they were good for I would probably hate rubber bands too. Thankfully, I've found a few uses for rubber bands and I've mostly learned to avoid getting shot in the eye with them. Twitter is sort of like that. Saying you hate it is missing the point.

A few reasons I like it:

Random comedy. Like Greg's #TWURT, or shitmydadsays, Sockington, or Steve's Roomate. It's like having a joke ticker on my desktop or a coworker who says the occasional really funny thing.

Useful to learn about news just about as soon as it happens. One day I looked out the window into Cambridge and saw smoke. I searched twitter for Cambridge Fire and immediately learned what it was. This was maybe ten minutes after it happened. If there's an earthquake or plane crash Twitter is the place to go for immediate updates.

Promotion for Internet Famous People. I can keep tabs on some people who I like, such as Paul and Storm, Jonathon Coulton, the MeFi Mod Squad, and a bunch of other random people who spew forth short bits of humor throughout the day.

Ditto a few friends who occasionally say funny things.

I like it. It's fun. And I'm mostly a Twitter consumer, I don't really post on it much myself. People who use it for self-promotion get a lot more use out of it. In fact, Paul and Storm usually tell venues not to spend money advertising their shows because they can promote their shows via Twitter just as effectively.

I can understand the backlash against Twitter when people turn on CNN and instead of news they're reading someone's Twitter feed. This is a CNN problem though, not a Twitter problem. Don't hate Twitter because CNN is a bunch of hacks.

Not everyone needs Twitter. My mom would have no use for it. I couldn't even explain to her what it is when she asked me. My wife doesn't really get it either, but she's not really up on all things Internet. If you don't find it interesting, that's fine. Nobody can explain to you why you might need it.

But those people who go on and on about how much they hate it? They just look sort of foolish. Like people who say "I don't consider rap to be music" or "kill your TV because TV is the worst thing ever." Whatever.

In short: We don't all need to like the same things and we should probably all stop telling each other what to like and what not to like. Shit doesn't work that way.

I can't believe I just spent so much time defending Twitter. Talk about pointless.
posted by bondcliff at 12:06 PM on April 14, 2010 [25 favorites]

Greg_Nog and hermitosis DOING THINGS TOGETHER

I saw them singing show tunes together!

Either someone convincingly posed as me at Monday's meetup or it's time for another episode of Celebrity Mefite Rehab.
posted by hermitosis at 12:11 PM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Can someone write in 140 characters or more why I should be interested in Twitter?

People use Twitter for expression. Some of us find other people (strangers, even) interesting, and Twitter lets us peek into their minds.
posted by sallybrown at 12:11 PM on April 14, 2010

Either someone convincingly posed as me at Monday's meetup

Oh, yeah. My bad.

or it's time for another episode of Celebrity Mefite Rehab.

No. No. No.
posted by jonmc at 12:14 PM on April 14, 2010

Is this something I'd have to have a Twitter to understand?

I'm almost entirely sure you can tell someone's age and/or internet acuity based on whether they say they're "on $SOCIAL_NETWORK" or "have a $SOCIAL_NETWORK".

Just like how you can tell if someone is typing to fast if they type "teh", are George Bush if they say "internets", or are a teenage girl if they write "lol"
posted by delmoi at 12:21 PM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Random comedy. ... Steve's Roomate.

shhdonttellsteve continues to be one of those twitter-accounts that constantly delights me. While it's clear that it started as a way for the writer to vent (or, if you're one of those people who thinks it's fake, as a fictional portrait of someone venting), I've really come to care about Steve, the narrator, and Shelly. Anyway, I mentioned it once before when it was posted to metafilter, but that account is one of the best things about twitter, as far as I'm concerned.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:22 PM on April 14, 2010

Steve kinda makes me sad.
posted by The Whelk at 12:24 PM on April 14, 2010

Thank you bondclif!!! I may have sounded like those people who say "I don't watch television" or "Why would I care what someone had for breakfast," but I am just ignorant about Twitter, that's all. And your post was exactly what I was trolling for (if you'll pardon the expression). I learned something new today!
posted by kozad at 12:36 PM on April 14, 2010

shhdonttellsteve continues to be one of those twitter-accounts that constantly delights me.

I have this dream that one day Steve will find out about it but before he can get upset he'll realize how famous and loved he is and the entire cast: Steve, the narrator, Shelly, Burrito Girl, Slutty Tina and the rest of them will all appear on a panel at ROFLCon or PAX and finally, at the end, Steve will say something really dumb and the narrator will go "Oh, that Steve!" and there will be a freeze frame and we'll all just laugh and laugh and then Huey Lewis will play over the ending credits and it'll all wrap up like some comedy from the 80's.

Brothers and sisters, I have a dream.
posted by bondcliff at 12:37 PM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

I still fucking hate twitter, but i like Greg. he brought Moxie to my bar, which Phil the Bartender mixed with Bourbon to create a tasty as yet unnamed cocktail. This same barteder discussed farting corpses with Cold Chef. Another bartender served us racist and regionalist yet tasty shots.
posted by jonmc at 12:40 PM on April 14, 2010

My three favorites: Uncle Dynamite, Drunk Hulk, and Sean Scott
posted by keli at 12:41 PM on April 14, 2010

I was somehow mislead into thinking there'd be more Moleskine content.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 1:00 PM on April 14, 2010

But those people who go on and on about how much they hate it? They just look sort of foolish. Like people who say "I don't consider rap to be music" or "kill your TV because TV is the worst thing ever." Whatever.

I think part of the backlash on twitter is the whole "THIS WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING" hype, which seems like people on the internet insist on saying about everything.

And maybe 140 characters is great for squeezing out a joke or a snarky statement, but most people are a lot less funny then they think.

The other thing is that conversations are extreemly hard to follow if you're not involved. You only see half of it with these @messages.

And the worst part is what they're doing to hyperlinks with all those damn URL shorteners people have to use because of the 140 character limit. For a while they were forcing links to be shortened, even if they fit in the limit, but thankfully they've stopped doing that, at least.

I understand the character limit was put in for people to use their cellphones, but with today's smartphones that's somewhat irrelevant.
posted by delmoi at 1:01 PM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Counting spaces seems completely unfair.
posted by xod at 1:11 PM on April 14, 2010

I wish this was on Reddit so I could downvote it for promising amusement and not delivering.
posted by egypturnash at 1:21 PM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

I don't consider rapping twitter to be owning a television's music.
posted by everichon at 1:22 PM on April 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

Why did I have his account blocked? Fit of drunken pique, I suppose. Oops. Unblocked and followed. And now to stalk the Twitter accounts of everyone else in this thread...
posted by BitterOldPunk at 1:35 PM on April 14, 2010

Who's to say that getting nothing out of this link means that either you're a Twitter Luddite or just don't get what the guy's doing? Shit, half the people on my FB friends list post the same kind of random, dada observations - myself included - and though some are better than others I wouldn't posit these "twurts" as any kind of elite example of this style of humor. With no particular disrespect toward Greg Nog personally, I have to wonder if the assessments of the FPP would have been as generous if it hadn't been identified as the work of a fellow MeFite
posted by squeakyfromme at 1:57 PM on April 14, 2010 [4 favorites]

THEY SAY NO WOMAN NO CRY SO BY THE TRANSITIVE PRORPERTY ITS MY PARTY AND ILL WOMAN IF I WANT TO

Ahahahaha. Ya'll can sit there all stone-faced if you want to, but this crap is funny.
posted by functionequalsform at 2:02 PM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

BitterOldPunk is stalking me on Twitter.

Which is kind of cool, really.
posted by mephron at 2:02 PM on April 14, 2010

In what dark and infernal purposes do my tweets dwell?
posted by The Whelk at 2:05 PM on April 14, 2010

I like feeding octopus to my son because there is nothing more awesome than the sight of an eighteen month old boy with tentacles hanging out of his mouth.

PIX PLZ

Here you go.
posted by Standeck at 2:06 PM on April 14, 2010

This seems like the sort of funny thing people who've never seriously done drugs would say "it's like he's on drugs."

And when I say funny, I mean not actually worth following on twitter funny. But I'd laugh nonetheless if I heard somebody muttering these things during lunch in a mental ward.
posted by nutate at 2:12 PM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yelling Bird
posted by bam at 2:13 PM on April 14, 2010

This is fun but I'm not sure it's more entertaining on balance than say, an rss feed of Greg Nog's Mefi comments would be.

What do the Twitter users here think about the new plan for ads in Twitter streams?
posted by yarrow at 2:13 PM on April 14, 2010

What do the Twitter users here think about the new plan for ads in Twitter streams?

Considering how many of us have been outed as Twitter Luddites, I imagine you'd be hard pressed to locate two fucks to rub together on that one.
posted by squeakyfromme at 2:26 PM on April 14, 2010

I guess I should get myself on one of these twitters
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 2:34 PM on April 14, 2010

Uh, I think this post broke my grammar.

Funny and good!
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 2:35 PM on April 14, 2010

I have to wonder if the assessments of the FPP would have been as generous if it hadn't been identified as the work of a fellow MeFite

Totally, respectfully disagree. The shit is funny.
posted by jbickers at 2:37 PM on April 14, 2010

But those people who go on and on about how much they hate it? They just look sort of foolish.

Well, I vaguely hate-ish Twitter, but that's just because I'm forced to think about it as part of my job. But that's my own fault. I'm sure it's not uncommon in the Valley for this to be true, though -- some of us have little choice but to pay attention.
posted by wildcrdj at 2:41 PM on April 14, 2010

What do the Twitter users here think about the new plan for ads in Twitter streams?

Hate with the burning rage of a thousand suns.
posted by misha at 2:50 PM on April 14, 2010

Well, I vaguely hate-ish Twitter, but that's just because I'm forced to think about it as part of my job.

Speaking for myself, I don't hate Twitter but between a) doing most of my social networking while I'm sitting in front of a desktop PC, and b) not using a smartphone for my telecommunications needs, I just don't see the point in it. You can program your FB updates to automatically post to your Twitter feed and vice versa, so if you're not bound by cell phone restrictions there's really no need for Twitter when FB does the same thing plus a lot more.

I think a lot of the initial backlash against Twitter was that before it came along most people had to wait until they were in front of a computer to update their FB or Myspace profiles, so when Twitter came along and allowed more people to do it on the go that just resulted in much more frequent updates, which naturally meant a spike in pointless, blow-by-blow minutiae as well. Now that you can cross-post between FB and Twitter, though, it's basically leveled the playing field: now we all get to suffer...
posted by squeakyfromme at 2:58 PM on April 14, 2010

Totally, respectfully disagree. The shit is funny.

That was a rhetorical question, ha ha. I didn't expect anyone to raise their hand and yell "busted!"
posted by squeakyfromme at 3:00 PM on April 14, 2010

Dear MeFi, thanks for continuing to re-enforce my belief that Twitter is for the self-important and only marginally clever.
In this case, even "marginally" is pushing it. Steven Wright-style one-liners without the delivery. Or any delivery, really.

But those people who go on and on about how much they hate it? They just look sort of foolish.
I have yet to see anyone going on and on about it. Twitter isn't useful to me, so I tend to ignore it (despite getting the occasional "follower" notifications more than a year after closing my account).

On the other hand, Twitter proselytizers have an annoying way of forcing themselves into my RSS reader, pointing out tweets I could easily find on my own if interested.
posted by coolguymichael at 3:17 PM on April 14, 2010

I just don't see what makes Twitter funny

Twitter isn't funny. Twitter is an online tool that allows people to post things. Some people (including Greg Nog, I think, despite all the hate above) post funny things via Twitter. Some people don't.
posted by inigo2 at 4:01 PM on April 14, 2010

On the other hand, Twitter proselytizers have an annoying way of forcing themselves into my RSS reader, pointing out tweets I could easily find on my own if interested.

And since I didn't mean to hit post yet -- those aren't "Twitter proselytizers". Those are posts by people who found neat things on Twitter, and want to share those neat things. They're not sharing Twitter. That's like saying "I hate all these worldwideweb proselytizers that keep putting posts on Metafilter!".
posted by inigo2 at 4:03 PM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

"I hate all these worldwideweb proselytizers that keep putting posts on Metafilter!".

To be fair, the site can suuuuure feel like that sometimes.
posted by The Whelk at 4:06 PM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

I, too, wish people would stop using the internet to send me websites on the internet
posted by NoraReed at 4:51 PM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Does anyone want a pizza roll? Post a comment on this web zone if you want a pizza roll. I'll mail you a pizza roll. They're good. They're hot, and pizza-y...
posted by DecemberBoy at 5:39 PM on April 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oh, and although I know the style isn't everyone's "cup of tea", those of you who enjoy CAPS-heavy nonsense would probably also love vumpire's twitter.
posted by Greg Nog at 5:46 PM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

I stomp your peeps. cry, bitch. cry.
posted by Jeremy at 6:50 PM on April 14, 2010

My personal favorite joke account is NBA Jam Announcer.
posted by mike_bling at 6:52 PM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

What do the Twitter users here think about the new plan for ads in Twitter streams?

Not really that fussed, personally. I used to use Tweetie for the Mac unregistered, which showed ads (more conspicuously than Twitter itself will, it seems), and that never bothered me. And I guess if Twitter actually starts making money, they may be less likely to be bought up and killed by someone like Microsoft of Facebook, which I can only see as a good thing.

What did annoy me somewhat was Twitter buying Tweetie, especially after having paid for it twice.

As for @gregerskine, I can't say it does much for me. But there are enough funny/interesting/weird things on Twitter to keep me amused. One of the nice things about Twitter is it's (pretty much) opt-in only, so there is little chance I'll need to worry about @gregerskine's all-caps interjections ever again :-)
posted by damonism at 7:38 PM on April 14, 2010

Not really that fussed, personally.

One of the nice things about Twitter is it's (pretty much) opt-in only

Yay, if Twitter gets annoying I'll just...not use it anymore. It's a little added nublet, not a critical landmark in my life.
posted by The Whelk at 7:40 PM on April 14, 2010

ONE OF THE BEST THINGS ABOUT NARNIA IS THAT INSTEAD OF CREAM CHEESE THEY HAVE "DREAM CHEESE"

this is a magical gift
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 8:16 PM on April 14, 2010

Okay, now I feel kinda bad because it totally looks like I was slagging on Greg Nog earlier in the thread, when I totally didn't mean to. I just didn't see why somebody had linked to a random person's Twitter feed for no apparent reason -- even if they *were* a MeFite. It just seemed kinda weak for an FPP. But I understand that I don't always get everybody's humor -- and they don't always get mine -- and lots of you find this funny, so okay, maybe it wasn't so bad of a post.

Anyway, Greg Nog is still a cool guy, even if I don't get his humor when expressed in TWURT form.
posted by Afroblanco at 9:35 PM on April 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

I love both Stephen Fry and Misha Collins on Twitter.

Misha Collins is particularly fabulous.
posted by colfax at 10:03 PM on April 14, 2010

AFROBLANCO I DONT GET IT WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY PLEASE EXPLAIN FURTHER IN 7 MORE POSTS IN THIS THREAD ARE YOU PROPOSING MARRIAGE IM NOT SAYING NO JUST WONDERING #TWURT #NSFW
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:24 PM on April 14, 2010

Oh look, Twitter just created a new API so that web developers can add twitter input boxes on all their websites. Because, you know, there aren't enough buttons and crap that people spew all over their pages in order to juice hits.
posted by delmoi at 12:31 AM on April 15, 2010

OK. So I sign up for a Twitter account. Now what? What's it for? What do I do with it? Nobody has ever been able to explain this to me.
posted by salmacis at 2:55 AM on April 15, 2010

OK. So I sign up for a Twitter account. Now what? What's it for? What do I do with it? Nobody has ever been able to explain this to me.

If you want to post things online via Twitter, you use the account to do so. If you don't want to post things via Twitter, then you let the account sit without you doing anything with it. #PlateOfBeans
posted by inigo2 at 3:32 AM on April 15, 2010

I WOULD JUST LIKE TO UPDATE EVERYONE AND LET THEM KNOW THAT LAST NIGHT I ATE OCTOPUS

IT LOOKED A LOT LIKE THIS
posted by shakespeherian at 6:04 AM on April 15, 2010

I think the funniest twitter account right now is sexy executive
posted by handee at 6:12 AM on April 15, 2010

inigo2: But why would I post anything online via Twitter? Nobody would read it. I'm not trying to be difficult, I am genuinely trying to understand what it's for.
posted by salmacis at 7:02 AM on April 15, 2010

hollisimo: "... Cat Town,... "

I don't know how I've managed to miss CAT TOWN before now.

handee: "I think the funniest twitter account right now is sexy executive"

Hee!
posted by dejah420 at 7:17 AM on April 15, 2010

salmacis: See boncliff's comment above.
posted by xod at 8:07 AM on April 15, 2010

xod, I did. I just can't see how any of that applies to me. I feel like I'm missing out on something, but I don't know how or why!
posted by salmacis at 8:37 AM on April 15, 2010

I follow Twitter for the Tea Party and just show up to fuck with them.

(No, I don’t do that. I just sit at my desk and they send me talcum powder every couple of weeks.)

Rep. Anthony Weiner, (D-NY)
posted by xod at 1:56 PM on April 15, 2010

Why do we have to use Twitter feeds to be funny? Why can't we use them to help one another, and to build a better society for the future? Why can't we use Twitter to assist one another in times of need, for example by explaining what Twitter is for and how to use it so it does not become confusing for us or other people. This would be a more productive use of our God-given talents!

Shoot for the stars!! :-)
posted by magnificent frigatebird at 8:42 PM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

salmacis: "inigo2: But why would I post anything online via Twitter? Nobody would read it. I'm not trying to be difficult, I am genuinely trying to understand what it's for."

Well, generally you would have friends that would enjoy reading messages you post. They also, usually, would post messages you would enjoy reading, giving you additional reason to use the site.

That should be a good starting point.
posted by flatluigi at 11:43 AM on April 20, 2010