MetaFilter

I've been kicked in the balls during a fight. I wrote it off, ignored the pain and kept going; it just made me mad. Understand, I'm the epitome of pacifism: never have started a fight, actively tried to avoid them, always, very little formal martial training after high school wrestling and years of working as a bar bouncer.

What I worry about is this cutesy attitude about what could be a very serious injury. Guy cuts you off at the supermarket? balls. Guy accidentally... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by flowerofhighrank at 9:45 PM on November 12, 2014

If you think this is bad, you should see the other guy...
posted to MetaFilter by Devonian at 6:29 AM on November 11, 2014

I feel like this article can be summed up by: "Banksy is a woman because I think Banksy should be a woman."
posted to MetaFilter by jferg at 11:34 AM on November 5, 2014

Does this line of thought make any sense?

The entire article is a whole lot of assertion and logical leaps without much behind it. As art I give it a C. As journalism: F--
posted to MetaFilter by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 10:58 AM on November 5, 2014

"If more people had her courage, religious people might finally learn to keep their bullshit to themselves."

It's not all bullshit.

"You shall love your neighbor as yourself".

Or Karuṇā.

There are many many examples of religious ideals that aren't "bullshit".

The problem I have with the video is that parents use... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by vapidave at 6:06 PM on November 4, 2014

The man is clearly one of life's unfortunates. An annoying unfortunate, but an unfortunate. The law is on his side as far as the megaphone is concerned, but as a local, the father can work on getting the megaphone ordinance changed.

In the meantime, he and the ill-behaved child should learn a little compassion.
posted to MetaFilter by IndigoJones at 4:55 PM on November 4, 2014

Perhaps the author should read the followup linky:

So how do we break the cycle? Here's the top four things I do:

1. "Ask your father" (or "Figure it out yourself")
2. "That's your job"
3. "Can you call [insert back-up parent's name here]?"
4. "I'm leaving/napping/unavailable."

One of the biggest recurring arguments... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by disconnect at 12:45 PM on November 4, 2014

lol two parent household problems
posted to MetaFilter by prize bull octorok at 11:46 AM on November 4, 2014

They should probably have gotten rid of knives, pencils, rope, belts, baseball bats, ...
posted to MetaFilter by rr at 12:30 PM on November 2, 2014

I still will never understand why the family didn't get rid of every gun in the house as soon as Gus Deeds started showing signs of psychosis.

They all but did that. Gus's father took his shotgun apart, taking the receiver out of the house (the part of the gun that's basically the gun). All that was left in the house was an old gun that it was no longer possible to get ammunition for, which is to say it was functionally just a wood-and-metal stick.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by waldo at 11:33 AM on November 2, 2014

Jezebel would be an enthusiastic early investor. Reverse the gender pronouns, and Jezebel would lose their minds.
posted to MetaFilter by four panels at 6:09 PM on November 1, 2014

I think whether folks use Bayonetta 2 for porn is unknowable unless we ask some folks. And they choose to share. There are hits when one does various relevant Google searches, though.

Oh come on. By rule 34 that would mean everything is sexist.
posted to MetaFilter by Talez at 11:13 AM on November 2, 2014

But that the audience is still going to use it as jerk-off material is not as cool.

Is the audience doing this, though? Seems like people are using it to play a game
posted to MetaFilter by misha at 10:52 AM on November 2, 2014

Cortex refuses to allow me to defend myself.
posted to MetaTalk by Decani at 5:28 PM on October 31, 2014

Homophobia is to blame for homophobia.

Racism is to blame for racism.
Misogyny is to blame for misogyny.
Evil is to blame for evil.
Cancer is to blame for cancer.
Death is to blame for death.
Et cet, et cet, et cet.

Everything is its own cause, and we need think no further! What a lot of brainrotting nonsense.

"I don't hate gay people... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Thing at 5:41 PM on October 29, 2014

No, they're having their principles misunderstood. Homophobia and intolerance is indeed just as abhorrent when it happens in Saudi Arabia as it is here - but blaming "Islam" for it is like saying the reason there is homophobia in England is "because too many people are descended from Saxons". One does not follow into the other necessarily, and to assume that it does is.....bigoted.

What the good lord? You can't blame Islam for... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Thing at 5:20 PM on October 29, 2014

Maher and Harris are bang on the money. What people like Ben Affleck, Reza Aslan and CJ "Plagiarist" Werleman can't stand is that they're having their blinkered faux-liberal double standards called out.

Still, it's always nice and easy to fling terms like "racist", "bigot" and - the dog-whistler's favourite - "Islamophobe" around when it's a middle-aged white male criticising your bullshit, isn't it?

Oh... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Decani at 4:54 PM on October 29, 2014

I've spent a lot of time on this site, and it is my contention that a poster who holds a controversial opinion, but who is able to provide reputable evidence and a sound, reasonable argument in support of that opinion is likely to be met with civil, rational disagreement rather than intolerance.

My experience has not been the same as yours, although I've been here almost the same amount of time. My experience has been that a poster who holds an... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by DWRoelands at 7:54 AM on October 21, 2014

That's at a totally okay point to want to make, but you need to find a better way to make it

This is one reason why your business is failing. This refrain is often given from on high, but the practice is that the Right Kind of Point can be made with the nastiest vitriol to much favoriting and acclaim, while the Wrong Kind of Point must meet a much high burden. Eventually, holders of the latter find something else to do.
posted to MetaTalk by Tanizaki at 8:00 AM on October 21, 2014

Here's another one: don't ever say anything nice about Christians, or say or imply that many of them are virtuous people whose faith is legitimate and deserving of respect.

On the other hand, don't ever say anything bad about Muslims, or say or imply that the atrocities committed by Islamic extremists are justified by specific readings of the Quran.

Never say anything good about the Bible or bad about the Quran.
posted to MetaTalk by Chocolate Pickle at 7:25 PM on October 19, 2014

I read the site, but not too much because political diversity here is very weak compared to most forums. The community enforces this because even mildy divergent opinions quickly become the topic of the thread and the poster is subjected to a variety of malicious misrepresentations. The moderation style enforces this as well. Last week the (already editorialized) voter-id thread had 200 posts and exactly one poster in favor of voter id for a short time before the owner of the site dropped in to... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Winnemac at 7:13 PM on October 19, 2014

Don't you dare ever suggest that the reason inner-city American blacks are stuck in a poverty rut is anything other than white racism, even a little bit. If you do, then you will be accused of being a racist, or even a genocidal monster.
posted to MetaTalk by Chocolate Pickle at 5:50 PM on October 19, 2014

Anything suggesting that various people that have been approved for ten minutes' hate are not actually monsters. (Zimmerman, Republicans, libertarians, rednecks gun activists, what have you)

Any element of history that goes against what people want to believe and that you don't have 46 independent cites for.

Anything suggesting that the left is indeed engaging in a culture war with the right.
posted to MetaTalk by corb at 5:52 PM on October 19, 2014

Maybe I framed my first post wrong, but this article is way more than an article about teaching methods.

you should have gone with the douchebag: "useless, sexist tool" line... which is pretty good.

But the problem is that "don't be a douchebag" is totally not the answer to: how do I become "anti-racist." However, it's exactly what young adults aspiring to the "middle class" want to hear.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by ennui.bz at 10:24 AM on October 19, 2014

Are the models the ones who are drunk? Or is it whoever is writing the captions?
posted to MetaFilter by Thorzdad at 7:22 AM on October 17, 2014

In addition to possibly the anxiety thing mentioned upthread, I'd wonder if your boyfriend puts high value on "Logic" -- and maybe not so high of a value on understanding subtle subtext. For people who value being "logical" above most other things, they will say things like this because they find them to be logical; you CAN'T know the future, you CAN'T be 100% sure of what will happen, or what circumstances might be, etc. In my experience with this sort of person, if he... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by freezer cake at 3:31 PM on October 17, 2014

The interviewers rank higher than you in this scenario. Therefore, they are the ones who should have offered you their hands to shake.

If they did offer you their outstretched hands and you just walked out and ignored them, BURN. You actively insulted them.

If not, you were perfectly correct.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by tel3path at 3:14 PM on October 17, 2014

Like it or not - if you're a woman, the lack of a handshake is a non-issue. If you are male and didn't shake hands with the male interviewer(s) - it might be an issue. But even then, it's not worth worrying about.

Concentrate on the ThankYou note.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by doctor tough love at 2:56 PM on October 17, 2014

Does your boyfriend struggle with anxiety, especially about being very precise with language? Is he reluctant to promise about other things, or to say things like "we will definitely go to Maine next June"? I could see a certain type of personality where he's getting hung up on the sort of "I don't want to cheat, I plan to work hard not to cheat, but A PROMISE IS A PROMISE and what if I lost my memory or had a total moral failure or something went horribly wrong? I cannot... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:02 PM on October 17, 2014 marked best answer

I, too, was puzzled by the breaking for the door thing. I've never been the victim of an armed robbery, so I can't judge. I don't think anyone really knows how they will react until it happens. It's possible that he thought he could best protect his family by drawing the robber outside, even at the risk of his own life. I mean, that's what happened, isn't it?
posted to MetaFilter by ogooglebar at 1:13 PM on October 16, 2014

If your takeaway from this article was that they were both creepy because the father isolated his family and the mother was a potential murder-suicide, then you need to step back from the keyboard and take a walk outside for a while. Perhaps the internet has made you too cynical.

FYI in buddhist societies in Asia, it is fairly common for widows who are driven to desperation to commit suicide with their children, in the belief they will all be reincarnated in a better... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by charlie don't surf at 12:30 PM on October 16, 2014

Wondered how long it would take for the pitchforks to come out for the dead husband.

These people both came from decidedly unique backgrounds and came up with ways to live life that were mostly working for them. Not to discount the obvious failings of their strategy. If your family is going to be utterly helpless if you suddenly die, then yeah, that's a weakness. But maybe the person best qualified to determine if Ao's life was creepy and her marriage a hellhole of... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Naberius at 11:58 AM on October 16, 2014

The story doesn't read as creepy nor does the anecdata from the family friends. She was quiet but could kick ass and a lot of what he was doing sounds a lot like what a lot of Asian husbands tend to do. Or from a previous generation. This isn't the first non abusive situation I've heard of where the wife was totally helpless in "external to the house" matters, though its tended to be more from my mother's generation. If he was indeed that much of a control freak, she wouldn't be either... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by infini at 11:33 AM on October 16, 2014

I've read that PDF and you could easily apply it to Metafilter or any other group of people with a perspective who fight about stuff on the Internet, really.
posted to MetaFilter by michaelh at 9:12 PM on October 13, 2014

I'm an LA Opera subscriber. I can assure you that no matter what you wear--from sweatpants and a t-shirt to full black tie regalia, there will be others dressed the same as you. Which is to say, wear what feels right to you; if you like the idea of "going to the opera" as a fun occasion to dress up, then there's no level of dressed-uppedness which will make you stick out and feel foolish. If you just want to enjoy the wonderful music/drama etc. and really don't care about playing... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by yoink at 11:00 AM on October 9, 2014 marked best answer

Also, there's nothing in here about murdering people from the sky with no legal justification.
posted to MetaFilter by sonic meat machine at 2:29 PM on October 8, 2014

Paul Krugman's deliberate choice to omit specific and very controversial sections of Obama's history (ceding healthcare reform to insurance companies, ceding Wall Street reform to bankers, ceding illegal eavesdropping reforms to the NSA and telecoms) only serves to decimate his own argument.

Obama came into office with a public mandate that was unseen in decades, and no amount of obstructionism that followed — which really only began two years after being elected — can... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by a lungful of dragon at 2:20 PM on October 8, 2014

I grew up with Speedy Gonzalez and his lazy, drunken cousin Slowpoke Rodriguez as the only characters that looked like me on children's television.

I totally value your actual point, but I'm also super amused by the idea that you're a mouse with a giant hat.
posted to MetaFilter by threeants at 9:32 AM on October 8, 2014

there’s actually no reason for that character to be Indian

Funny. There's actually no reason why I'm white either.
posted to MetaFilter by schmod at 9:28 AM on October 8, 2014

This is confusing. First he complains that no-one working on the show is Indian, then immediately backflips and says you don't need to be indian/alien/white to relate to or write those.

I guess I see where he might be coming from, but he deflates a lot of his own arguments. He's right to focus on whether a show is good or not, but then doesn't really address whether the shows are, instead opting for some concern-trolly tokenism fears.

Hmmmmm.
posted to MetaFilter by Jon Mitchell at 9:30 AM on October 8, 2014

There have been 14 Japanese Nobel Prize winners sharing 7 Nobel Prizes since 2000, all in the sciences. That's roughly the same as the USA and pretty damn impressive for a country of 70 odd million.

Japan's population is about 127 million.
posted to MetaFilter by biffa at 6:55 AM on October 8, 2014

Just imagine what this thread might be if we actually discussed women in physics, and not LEDs or what's wrong with the Nobel Prize in general.

Be the change you want to see or take it to meta.
posted to MetaFilter by cjorgensen at 6:23 AM on October 8, 2014

The answer was probably "DTMFA and get therapy for yourself" anyway.
posted to MetaTalk by turbid dahlia at 8:59 PM on October 6, 2014

Vanguard municipal bond funds average around 5% return. You would double your money safely in about 14 years.

Higher yields = higher risk. There really isn't any way around that.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by blahblahblah at 10:13 AM on October 5, 2014

I think it's totally fine to ask people to read a book for free. And it's generous to give them something for their time and feedback. Speaking as a 6th grade teacher, I would love for my students to choose a book that is unpublished (and for which they're giving feedback) for their independent reading project. Hell, kids reading AND doing literary and stylistic analysis ON THEIR OWN?! In a way that ACTUALLY BENEFITS SOMEONE in a real and meaningful way?!?!

Dude, I... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by guster4lovers at 8:40 PM on October 3, 2014

I'm a YA author and I have no compunction about asking kids I know if they want to read a draft. I don't pay them, but I do thank them in the acks and make sure they get a copy of the book when it comes out.

The only time I contacted a kid I didn't know (and paid them) was when I went in search of a tween/teen girl from a Maine lobstering family.

I wanted her to "Maine-check" and "lobster-check" the book. I asked her to point... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by headspace at 1:41 PM on October 3, 2014 marked best answer

I get that you don't want to confront him, but that is in my experience really and truly the only thing that has ever worked. You encounter this fuckstick every day, why should he get to dictate your walk to work? That's so unfair.

Personally I would stop one morning, look him dead in the eye, and say very firmly and calmly, "you do not know me, I am not your princess, you are being inappropriate," then continue on... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by phunniemee at 11:55 AM on October 3, 2014

Turning away has made you into an easy target. He knows you are afraid.

I lived in high crime urban areas for a long time. You have to act crazy and be confrontational. That is the quickest way to end this.

If you are to afraid of being confrontational - then amp up the crazy. Talk to yourself about how gross he is every time you pass him. Have a freak out meltdown on the street. Make a scene. Every time he says something, make a crazy... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Flood at 11:54 AM on October 3, 2014

If you do choose to use the bastard for practice, and you are of course under no obligation to do so, I humbly submit the following suggestions:

You have already got a handle on the most important part: Keeping your cool. When you choose to engage, you must maintain your cool. And it's a whole new level of skill to keep your cool when engaged. This, rather than your wit or cleverness, is the skill that will pay dividends throughout your life.
There are many... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by whuppy at 7:59 AM on October 3, 2014

This doesn't change people's broader points about the discussion, but the exact $19 figure must have been some sort of introductory offer to suck you into using the service.
I messed around on the Homejoy website and can't find anything less than $25 an hour, more if you add cleaning appliances, windows or walls, and $5 if you don't supply your own cleaning supplies. Seems like they're copying the airlines in offering the lowest possible base cost but then tacking on extra costs for... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Wretch729 at 7:49 AM on October 3, 2014