It's got swag, it's got salad, it's got flow
March 10, 2019 9:16 AM Subscribe
It's that time of year again: time for the Minnesota State High School All Hockey Hair Team. Let's hit it, kids.
Minnesota has dealt with the 4th snowiest month on record (February), record breaking cold, parking restrictions in the cities because we have too much snow to allow parking on both sides of residential streets, the busiest day in the Twin Cities Hospitals' Emergency Rooms ever due to falls from an ice storm followed by frostbite from the polar vortex, thousands of cars towed, and thousands more ticketed. Even hardcore fat tire bike commuters are having trouble in these deep snowdrifts. A local judge has issued a restraining order against winter...but looking out the window it seems that winter has not listened. It's been a tough one.
Prepare to have your days brightened because it's time for the Minnesota State High School All Hockey Hair Team. We've got salad, we've got hockey smiles, we've got flow.
It was a fun tournament: The Cake Eaters took home the 2A title by beating the 2nd Best Lake Beach Town in America in overtime.
Some say the 1A tourney was even better than the big-school 2A this year, with Herr Duck's Alma Mater taking home the trophy by beating the the Obligatory Team from the Iron Range, because it isn't Minnesota Hockey unless you've got a team of kids with taconite dust in their salad.
But even if you're not into Minnesota High School Hockey (and why aren't you? You should be) you can appreciate the hair. And you can support the Hendrickson Foundation, sponsor of the Minnesota State High School All Hockey Hair Team. They grow the game of hockey in Minnesota by providing opportunities for adaptive and sled hockey for those with disabilities. Hockey changes lives! Hockey hair changes lives!
This very well may be the last year of the Minnesota State High School All Hockey Hair Team. We thank you for ten years of salad and flow and wish you well as you plow and shovel your way out from under all of this snow.
Minnesota has dealt with the 4th snowiest month on record (February), record breaking cold, parking restrictions in the cities because we have too much snow to allow parking on both sides of residential streets, the busiest day in the Twin Cities Hospitals' Emergency Rooms ever due to falls from an ice storm followed by frostbite from the polar vortex, thousands of cars towed, and thousands more ticketed. Even hardcore fat tire bike commuters are having trouble in these deep snowdrifts. A local judge has issued a restraining order against winter...but looking out the window it seems that winter has not listened. It's been a tough one.
Prepare to have your days brightened because it's time for the Minnesota State High School All Hockey Hair Team. We've got salad, we've got hockey smiles, we've got flow.
It was a fun tournament: The Cake Eaters took home the 2A title by beating the 2nd Best Lake Beach Town in America in overtime.
Some say the 1A tourney was even better than the big-school 2A this year, with Herr Duck's Alma Mater taking home the trophy by beating the the Obligatory Team from the Iron Range, because it isn't Minnesota Hockey unless you've got a team of kids with taconite dust in their salad.
But even if you're not into Minnesota High School Hockey (and why aren't you? You should be) you can appreciate the hair. And you can support the Hendrickson Foundation, sponsor of the Minnesota State High School All Hockey Hair Team. They grow the game of hockey in Minnesota by providing opportunities for adaptive and sled hockey for those with disabilities. Hockey changes lives! Hockey hair changes lives!
This very well may be the last year of the Minnesota State High School All Hockey Hair Team. We thank you for ten years of salad and flow and wish you well as you plow and shovel your way out from under all of this snow.
Minnesota is largest wildlife preserve in America.
posted by srboisvert at 10:32 AM on March 10, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 10:32 AM on March 10, 2019 [3 favorites]
The hair was very good this year, is it possible that there is a correlation between amount of flow and amount of snow?
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 10:45 AM on March 10, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 10:45 AM on March 10, 2019 [5 favorites]
Having grown up playing hockey in MN (Denfeld Hunters #1!!!) I love this unabashedly.
Hockey hair was totally a thing - I got one haircut when school started, and another for summer. I had the most glorious mullett in high school, and the fact that it pissed off the olds made it even better.
Rock your locks, young men. You'll never have as much (scalp) hair to work with.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 11:11 AM on March 10, 2019 [11 favorites]
Hockey hair was totally a thing - I got one haircut when school started, and another for summer. I had the most glorious mullett in high school, and the fact that it pissed off the olds made it even better.
Rock your locks, young men. You'll never have as much (scalp) hair to work with.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 11:11 AM on March 10, 2019 [11 favorites]
That's a lot of salad!
posted by slkinsey at 11:15 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by slkinsey at 11:15 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
I've been waiting for this year's team and video! A sure sign spring may be on the way 🏒
posted by jazon at 11:20 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by jazon at 11:20 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
"Look at these oompa loompas."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:20 AM on March 10, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:20 AM on March 10, 2019 [4 favorites]
Bingo daubers!
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:20 AM on March 10, 2019
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:20 AM on March 10, 2019
Ferda boys now go get a boat. (way too much Letterkenney lately)
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 11:21 AM on March 10, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 11:21 AM on March 10, 2019 [5 favorites]
Has there ever been a better username-post combo?
posted by everybody had matching towels at 11:29 AM on March 10, 2019 [16 favorites]
posted by everybody had matching towels at 11:29 AM on March 10, 2019 [16 favorites]
I lusted after several NH hockey boys for their luxuriant flowing hair when I was in high school. If only I was 15 again.
posted by ChuraChura at 11:55 AM on March 10, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 11:55 AM on March 10, 2019 [3 favorites]
This was brilliant.
My first driver's license photo featured a luxuriant mullet. Unfortunately, I don't have it anymore.
The photo, I mean.
Also the mullet.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:59 AM on March 10, 2019 [3 favorites]
My first driver's license photo featured a luxuriant mullet. Unfortunately, I don't have it anymore.
The photo, I mean.
Also the mullet.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:59 AM on March 10, 2019 [3 favorites]
I saw this link and immediately texted it to my daughter telling her, "last year was kind of marginal, but I have high hopes for this year." And while I'm sad the all star team won't return, I'm happy they went out with a such quality flow.
posted by vespabelle at 12:48 PM on March 10, 2019
posted by vespabelle at 12:48 PM on March 10, 2019
Yes, hockey hair is a thing! There is an 1994 ECHL program out there with me rocking a fantastic wavy hockey mullet.
posted by remo at 2:25 PM on March 10, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by remo at 2:25 PM on March 10, 2019 [8 favorites]
I don't know what exactly I just watched, but it was pretty great.
posted by biogeo at 3:34 PM on March 10, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by biogeo at 3:34 PM on March 10, 2019 [8 favorites]
That is the most Minnesota thing I have ever seen and strangely enough it makes me feel warm all over.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:37 PM on March 10, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:37 PM on March 10, 2019 [3 favorites]
The last one? Aw.
posted by Autumnheart at 5:57 PM on March 10, 2019
posted by Autumnheart at 5:57 PM on March 10, 2019
"Has there ever been a better username-post combo?"
Yeah, for real -- I see you there Duck duck gray duck!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:31 AM on March 11, 2019 [4 favorites]
Yeah, for real -- I see you there Duck duck gray duck!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:31 AM on March 11, 2019 [4 favorites]
Minne-flowta is totally amazing!
posted by e1c at 7:41 AM on March 11, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by e1c at 7:41 AM on March 11, 2019 [2 favorites]
This very well may be the last year of the Minnesota State High School All Hockey Hair Team.
Okay, hang on 100%: this is not Okay.
Gray Duck, are you the guy making the actual videos, speaking for yourself? Or just, like the rest of us, a grateful, gob-smacked, Good Hair viewer? Either way, this news -- coupled with the fact that Crashed Ice wasn't on the Cathedral steps this year -- has me pretty upset about the stability of 21st Century Winter Traditions in my home state. Oh, the Winter Carnival will be fine, but....*sniffle* What'll I do without the Hockey Hair Video? WHAT DO I TELL MY KIDS?!
posted by wenestvedt at 7:57 AM on March 11, 2019
Okay, hang on 100%: this is not Okay.
Gray Duck, are you the guy making the actual videos, speaking for yourself? Or just, like the rest of us, a grateful, gob-smacked, Good Hair viewer? Either way, this news -- coupled with the fact that Crashed Ice wasn't on the Cathedral steps this year -- has me pretty upset about the stability of 21st Century Winter Traditions in my home state. Oh, the Winter Carnival will be fine, but....*sniffle* What'll I do without the Hockey Hair Video? WHAT DO I TELL MY KIDS?!
posted by wenestvedt at 7:57 AM on March 11, 2019
The narrator in the video said that this video is the last Hair Team one that he’s making.
posted by Autumnheart at 8:12 AM on March 11, 2019
posted by Autumnheart at 8:12 AM on March 11, 2019
Rock your locks, young men. You'll never have as much (scalp) hair to work with.
Yep. Boss balding up top, party on my back.
posted by srboisvert at 9:09 AM on March 11, 2019
Yep. Boss balding up top, party on my back.
posted by srboisvert at 9:09 AM on March 11, 2019
My Minnesota kid isn't a hockey player (he skis) but he's doing his damnedest to grow the flow. Mom keeps threatening to chop his salad but he's not having it. I need to show him this video. It'll inspire the guy to keep the locks. It isn't the longest he's ever had it, but it's getting there.
posted by caution live frogs at 10:37 AM on March 11, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by caution live frogs at 10:37 AM on March 11, 2019 [2 favorites]
The hockey players at my Minnesota high school never had this level of style.
posted by bile and syntax at 11:25 AM on March 11, 2019
posted by bile and syntax at 11:25 AM on March 11, 2019
The excellent content combined with monotone narration is just really My Culture.
Truly a sign of spring!
posted by Emmy Rae at 4:35 PM on March 11, 2019 [1 favorite]
Truly a sign of spring!
posted by Emmy Rae at 4:35 PM on March 11, 2019 [1 favorite]
"Would you like to be on the All-Hockey Hair Team?" "Oh, I'd love it. I think it was one of my goals for this year."
posted by clawsoon at 12:03 PM on March 17, 2019
posted by clawsoon at 12:03 PM on March 17, 2019
« Older Bull Plucky | Goddamn Snowflakes Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by Fizz at 10:31 AM on March 10, 2019 [2 favorites]