Who's Ready For Some HOCKEY HAIR????
March 8, 2020 11:58 AM   Subscribe

The Minnesota State High School All Hockey Hair Team is back. Oh they got us so WORRIED last year, saying that it would be the final year of the Minnesota State High School All Hockey Hair Team!! It's hard to image mid-March without it and now we don't have to. Making us worry, for Pete's sake! Here we go now!

It's been a mild winter for the lower 2/3 of Minnesota this year. As a matter of fact, today is the most anticipated day of the year: the first 60*+ day. The vast majority of Minnesotans will be outside, squinting at that weird bright thing in the sky, un-hunching their shoulders for the first time in 4 months, getting blinded by extremely pale skin exposed for the first time of the year, and smiling like doofuses because ITS SPRING. And what comes with spring? HIGH SCHOOL HOCKEY.

The Hockey Tourneys are over as of yesterday so we have some winners here.
Mahtomedi (the name is Dakota for "White Bear Lake", which happens to be the name of the town across the lake...which is also called White Bear Lake) beat Hermantown in OT for their first ever Class A title. Hermantown, representing the Northland, headed back up Highway 35 defeated after dominating for not only the season, but most of the title game. Let's hope they stopped at Tobie's to get some cinnamon rolls.

As for the Class AA schools: as a native Minneapolitan I am pleased to report that the Cake Eaters stayed home and wept into their hotdish this year. Those nice kids from Hill-Murray beat Eden Prairie. Caterpillars, salad, stripes, and mullets abound. Poor Eden Prairie has been beat twice in the finals in the last two years. Slide over some of that weeping hotdish, Edina.

We're thrilled to see that the MSHSAHHT is back. Even if you don't support Hockey Hair (and why not? Hockey Hair is love), you can support the Hendrickson Foundation, supporting Sled, Adaptive, Blind, and Special Hockey. Hockey is for Everyone, and Hockey Hair is a beautiful thing.
posted by Gray Duck (24 comments total) 37 users marked this as a favorite
Criminy pete, dat's some serious salad on display der.
posted by slkinsey at 12:08 PM on March 8, 2020 [5 favorites]

Oh fer cripes sake, it's a heckuva deal then.
posted by Ber at 12:17 PM on March 8, 2020 [2 favorites]

Joe Pera talks to you about hockey hair.
posted by ssmug at 1:05 PM on March 8, 2020 [2 favorites]

So glad the retirement didn't stick.
posted by ivanthenotsoterrible at 2:39 PM on March 8, 2020 [2 favorites]

I may be expecting hockey hair. I may be looking forward to hockey hair. But I can never be ready for hockey hair.
posted by clew at 2:39 PM on March 8, 2020 [15 favorites]

I have no idea exactly what this was but watched it all the way to the end.
posted by jessamyn at 2:58 PM on March 8, 2020 [22 favorites]

The annual post I never remember I wanted but always welcome when it arrives.
posted by meinvt at 3:36 PM on March 8, 2020 [7 favorites]

Not exactly eponysterical, but a pretty appropriate OP name.
posted by kevinbelt at 3:59 PM on March 8, 2020 [4 favorites]

Hair-lellujah! The Hockey Hair Video is baaaaaaack!

I was thinking about a haircut on Friday but it seemed sacriligious this time of year.
posted by wenestvedt at 4:02 PM on March 8, 2020 [1 favorite]

Everything about this makes me nostalgic for my homeland. The accent. The shoutouts to Great Clips and channel 45. The town names. That great shot of Prince. And of course hockey hair!
posted by mai at 5:05 PM on March 8, 2020 [1 favorite]

As an urban Minnesotan, I'm always caught between enjoying this and horrible flashbacks to Fargo coming out when I was in college and my friends harping on every syllable out of my mouth for a month in the hopes of catching the stereotypical Minnesota accent that I don't have on account of being a city kid.
posted by bile and syntax at 5:45 PM on March 8, 2020 [2 favorites]

As a semi recent Minnesota transplant I salute these greasy metal footed ice lads.
posted by Ferreous at 6:08 PM on March 8, 2020 [3 favorites]

Hey, a kid named Strobel! In this anniversary year, too!
posted by wenestvedt at 6:35 PM on March 8, 2020

Bile and syntax, all your college friends had to do was trick you into saying the name of Minnesota towns that begin with “B.” Once I said “Brainerd” I was marked forever.
posted by Maarika at 7:05 PM on March 8, 2020

I have no idea exactly what this was but watched it all the way to the end.

I concur.
posted by biogeo at 8:09 PM on March 8, 2020 [4 favorites]

I'm glad that this is back. That fucking K-mart may be finally marked for destruction, but that doesn't mean Hockey Hair needs to be cut.
posted by dinty_moore at 8:18 PM on March 8, 2020 [5 favorites]

Player #2 was serving some nice Steve Harrington action there.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 4:54 AM on March 9, 2020

I enjoyed that a lot!

“This year we had our first owl. When your hair is this good, you’ve gotta turn your head all the way around.”
posted by kinnakeet at 6:31 AM on March 9, 2020 [2 favorites]

The names he invents are just the best. "Crosby, Stills, Ernst & Young" is a career zenith.
posted by JoeZydeco at 9:36 AM on March 9, 2020 [8 favorites]

Maarika, it doesn’t work because I have a very standard urban accent. I majored in linguistics and explained this repeatedly. It did not help.
posted by bile and syntax at 10:17 AM on March 9, 2020

Thanks for re-upping this for this year's edition.

Speaking as a former mullet farmer, this is never going to get old.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:45 PM on March 9, 2020

The hair must flow!

I sent this to my Canadian and Minnesotan co-workers and they were very appreciative.
posted by mogget at 9:47 PM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]

Danglin' some Cheli's for the W, bros! Ferda!
posted by slogger at 10:44 AM on March 10, 2020

As a Minnesotan and a hockey fan (the Venn diagram overlap is close but not 100%), I was delighted when FB showed me this year's video (and that there IS a this year's video), but Gray Duck, your post made it that much better. I hadn't known the meaning of Mahtomedi before, so thanks! And I read it all in the voice of the video's narrator, because you captured the tone so perfectly. Well-done!
posted by cinnamonduff at 5:44 PM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]

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