MetaFilter

There's usually a report in EV Grieve some time in the week beforehand. I don't think this one was caught, although I also didn't think they were too bad.

The historical tradition for these shows is very strong (you probably noted how old the band was!) and I don't think they're going away any time soon. You picked the East Village to live in...it's probably the most organic cultural tradition that's survived the bros.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by praemunire at 3:28 PM on June 9, 2024

I think this sounds super fricking annoying and inappropriate but probably not actually dangerous to you.

A substantial minority of small-time landlords are like this, especially if they live on the property. They basically still treat the rental unit like it's part of their own home and they are doing you a favor by allowing you to visit. They don't appropriately incorporate things like operating costs (for the air conditioning and trash removal) and wear and tear into... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by mskyle at 7:03 AM on June 10, 2024

If you don't regularly eat a lot of fibre, corn and beans twice in a row could cause some digestive distress.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Stoof at 10:01 AM on June 10, 2024

Dude, I'm so sorry to hear this latest prognosis. Five years is a long time in terms of new treatments coming online. I hope you can inhabit that weird territory that encompasses both acceptance and hope. Good luck with the loan forgiveness.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by kate4914 at 11:42 AM on June 11, 2024

I'll repeat the same immediate thought I had after the deletion fest yesterday morning, which is HOW was the mod comment in response not an immediate and unequivocal "no, of course we don't have a special secret deal with this user, that would be absurd."

Brandon, I don't care if you are the newest mod (really that's the excuse? surely it's been well over a year at this point??), you have been on metafilter longer than I have, and you should know that's so... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by phunniemee at 5:26 AM on June 5, 2024

Hi! My comment kicked this off. I’ll cut to the chase - I’ll refrain from this in the future as I hate it when people say “the Democrat Party” when they know full well that’s incorrect.

I just really hate the former president.
posted to MetaTalk by Farce_First at 10:38 AM on June 3, 2024

in my eyes, fairly directly analogous to deadnaming.

it absolutely is the fuck not. that’s a WILD leap to make.
posted to MetaTalk by knock my sock and i'll clean your clock at 10:38 AM on June 3, 2024

This may be a cringe joke, but it is essentially the most punching up a joke can be. We don't need to limit jokes at the expense of incredibly powerful people.
posted to MetaTalk by ssg at 10:35 AM on June 3, 2024

Some people have taken to calling JK Rowling Joanne because 1) she hates it, apparently, and 2) she's a repugnant transphobe and massively platformed spreader of hate who ironically doesn't respect trans folks' chosen names and pronouns. There's a lot of overlap there with why people say Drumpf.

Is it cringey? Pointless? Annoying to read? Probably.

Is the strong preference just to not refer to these people at all? Probably.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by phunniemee at 10:25 AM on June 3, 2024

As a 2nd gen American whose family anglicized so the kids wouldn't get made fun of in school - this ain't it.

Please do not make immigrants pawns in a quest to be offended.


Exactly.
posted to MetaTalk by cmyk at 10:24 AM on June 3, 2024

Hi. I'm an immigrant and I changed my name in the US.

This is not an offensive joke. It isn't close to being one. Please do not make immigrants pawns in a quest to be offended.

Thank you.
posted to MetaTalk by Comrade Doll at 10:08 AM on June 3, 2024

I wish it didn't bug you so much, but I don't think there's a way to enforce this without a lot more trouble than it's worth. I support your right to make this request, and maybe you'll convince some people. But I don't think using the wrong name breaks any rules.

I think some people try to be funny, and other times it's just avoiding that complete loser's name. I suspect using "Drumpf" is because it would piss him off (granted he will never see it here, but it... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Glinn at 10:02 AM on June 3, 2024

Well the important thing is we've still found ways to scold each other over dumb shit instead of focusing on the actual problems. Never change.
posted to MetaTalk by phunniemee at 10:01 AM on June 3, 2024

So yes: tired joke. But the mental gymnastics required to present it as some kind of attempt to shame immigrants or dishonor the wishes of people who change their name are... substantial. We could find something better to put that much effort into than assuming that kind of bad faith.
posted to MetaTalk by DirtyOldTown at 9:58 AM on June 3, 2024

That includes not calling Biden "Brandon"
posted to MetaTalk by JohnnyGunn at 9:57 AM on June 3, 2024

The joke is supposed to be that the guy who calls immigrants and their families human garbage is himself descended from immigrants. Recalling his family's original name is a quick way to make that point in a single word. It's supposed to expose hypocrisy.

It's a weak joke, but it is not at all complicated or hard to understand..

The intent not only isn't to shame immigrants, it is to recognize that unless you're Native... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by DirtyOldTown at 9:53 AM on June 3, 2024

I've encountered bears in the woods probably a dozen times and they've all been either chill or eager to get away from me but Laura Killingbeck did it in Alaska and honestly the bears and the men there are both a lot worse than you're likely to find in the lower 48.
posted to MetaFilter by Parasite Unseen at 3:54 PM on May 24, 2024

Bears aren't going to scheme intelligently about how to manipulate the situation to their advantage. And generally bears, and I've had a lot of encounters with them, don't want to fuck with humans. They are after food, not people.
posted to MetaFilter by hippybear at 2:29 PM on May 24, 2024

I mean, I guess he came out of his own accord during #MeToo?

He saw the social movement and sat down and wrote his op-ed about his own sexual misdeeds and left his job at his production company as public penance.

Maybe there's a larger story going on there but that seems like one of the most noble reactions to #MeToo that I've heard of ever.

If I have found a narrative that requires revising, please elucidate me. But... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by hippybear at 8:47 PM on May 24, 2024

🍟
posted to MetaFilter by clavdivs at 5:56 PM on May 24, 2024

Yes I know the McDoc was largely bullshit, but does it effectively matter? It helped bolster the message that the food is not good and industry pushing it is even worse. The other side bases their existence on full-fat bullshit and most don't lift an eyebrow.

He also was likely was a messed-up freak who did bad things to people around him.
posted to MetaFilter by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 6:35 PM on May 24, 2024

I choose to believe that everyone that chooses 2525 is doing so out of love for the cheesy '70s song.
posted to MetaFilter by The_Vegetables at 2:37 PM on May 20, 2024

I expect both, and my cleaner does do both.

She doesn't pull the stove out and do the sides of it. Boo.

Wet jet/damp swiffering is not cleaning in my mind. I don't use them, but if I did, it would be for a quick clean up of a mess rather than a proper clean.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Ftsqg at 6:32 AM on May 16, 2024 marked best answer

Could you put in a really temporary color, using something like Overtone? It's essentially a colored conditioner, which washes out in a few weeks and it's really kind to my hair. You'd probably want to do a strand test to see how it interacts with the color your have in already as well as the grey, but it is very likely to come out of both after a few weeks. For me, I've used the red for brown, purple for brown, and just brown and all of them did take in my grey streaks and actually looked... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by past unusual at 5:43 PM on April 27, 2023

I guess from here every generation will think they invented both sex and lowercase messaging?
posted to MetaFilter by Dysk at 3:19 AM on April 7, 2024

They should pay the whole thing not just the deductible? I dont see a role for your insurance here. When a flood from my condo resulted in damage to the unit below, I had to pay thr repair costs. When a flood from a pipe inside the walls damaged my unit the building paid to repair the damage. I am in Toronto. I am not a lawyer, a condo manager or anything else relevant.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by If only I had a penguin... at 7:58 PM on April 5, 2024

Is there a particular reason you want to pay the debt? Especially when you have no income? Do you have a need for credit in the next couple of years?

Credit card companies are predatory corporations and I guarantee you that they absolutely, 100% do not need this money and you have at least a 90% chance of needing this money.

Some (rare) exceptions aside (mostly what state you live in) this collections account will no longer be reported to any... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by rhymedirective at 2:08 PM on March 29, 2024

get a bunch of spikes or studs and put one over each letter.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 7:50 PM on March 29, 2024

All I can think is "BREATHE OUT FOR WHAT?"
posted to MetaFilter by drewbage1847 at 9:20 AM on March 27, 2024

I was always taught never to say anything about the dead unless it’s good. He’s dead. Good!
posted to MetaFilter by kirkaracha at 5:40 PM on March 27, 2024

When my husband cheated, and I found out by gut feeling and basically pinning him down for the truth, he was also apologetic. He was also sorry and contrite. He also met with the receptionist at his job that he was having the affair with to tell her it was over. We started counseling. We spoke more, had deeper conversations.

And a few months later her was at it again with someone else.

It's probably too late but I would have taken screenshots of... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by annieb at 6:19 PM on March 26, 2024

hope for the best, emotionally, but prepare for the worst, logistically.

This. You'll find it a lot easier to make emotionally sound and compassionate decisions if you don't have to worry about losing your home.

He's very torn at the moment and deeply sorry for hurting me.

Great, let him demonstrate how sorry he is by recognizing your equity in the house you live in and the other... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by rpfields at 1:52 PM on March 26, 2024

I think a large part of the work you need to do is on yourself right now. It sounds like your partner fell for someone and decided to start over already, at age 66. You can absolutely do the same at age 50 (or even later!).

The end of a long-term relationship always feels like the end of everything. So much change is coming; new home, new financial situation, maybe new friends, maybe losing some old ones. From this point on, everything is going to... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by invincible summer at 1:03 PM on March 26, 2024

But he owns a couple of big assets outright in his name only... like the home we live in. Whereas I've paid for big renovations, ongoing maintenance, insurance, etc.

I have gone through and favorited every answer that tells you to get to a lawyer, stat. You could lose your house. You probably will lose it unless you move on this right away. Put all the emotions aside, put all the fear and the love and the horrible disappointment and sorrow on the... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by mygothlaundry at 12:38 PM on March 26, 2024

I have to say it sounds like you are glossing over the part about your spouse cheating on you and lying to you for 18 months.

The person I know who had a similar experience (husband was found having a longish affair with a co-worker) broke up with him. It was not so much the sex (unprotected! and one of these people have herpes!), it was the lying.

You seem to be trying to wrap this into some kind of "its understandable because we've been... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by rhonzo at 12:10 PM on March 26, 2024

Also, respectfully, is it possible that the affair didn't come out of closeness from the shared venture, but that the venture came out of a mutual attraction they already had for each other, and the shared ventured gave them a way to explore that connection (even if it wasn't something they were saying out loud)? I think you are working from the assumption that he lied about one big thing but is being honest about everything else, and you might need some space to take a big step back and look... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by bluedaisy at 11:36 AM on March 26, 2024

I am no expert and have not experienced a similar challenge. But you are 50! That is young, in the grand scheme of things. Maybe this relationship has run its course? You could split up and have another 20 year relationship in your future with someone else, a few years down the line. Maybe it sounds harsh but honestly with the cheating and whatnot I'd be preparing to divorce and move on. If you were both in your 70s it might be harder to start over but you have decades ahead of you.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by emd3737 at 11:01 AM on March 26, 2024

I'm quoting you on this one:

I know that she fulfills a need in him that I simply can't, and that after 20 years the "sparkiness" can fade in a long-term relationship.
But I know that she wants a full-time relationship with him (through online DM's that tipped me off to the affair).

She's the shiny new and you're not, and she wants a full time relationship with him and she's left her husband? I think... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jenfullmoon at 9:45 AM on March 26, 2024

I'm so sorry. The best piece of advice I can give you is to proceed with the knowledge that a man having an affair can reframe their spouse as the enemy with astonishing rapidity. Get your financial affairs in order on the assumption that this will happen. Hopefully it won't. But any divorce attorney will tell you that previously kind, loving, trustworthy people frequently become almost unrecognizable to their spouses once this kind of thing is underway.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by HotToddy at 8:01 AM on March 26, 2024

To the list above I would add:

- get tested for STDs
- consider getting your own therapist

I would be wary about the switch-to-polyamory-in-the-middle-of-an-affair thing. Your husband has already acted without truth and integrity. Falling in love with someone isn't an issue. For me, lying about it for 18 months could well be.

I would like to be more polyamorous than my husband and I are (we're monogamish)... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by warriorqueen at 7:01 AM on March 26, 2024

Seconding everyone advising a sleep study, as this was a life changing event for me.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by ivanthenotsoterrible at 8:01 AM on March 26, 2024

Do you drink coffee or have a lot of caffeine and sugar during the day? That might be leading to poor sleep quality and booze might mean you're sleeping more deeply.

Just as an anecdotal point, I had to give up coffee for blood pressure reasons and I've discovered that I can wake up much more easily and feel better in the mornings now I only drink decaf. When I have too much caffeine these days I sleep badly and wake up exhausted, a lot like you're describing, and end... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by fight or flight at 5:20 AM on March 26, 2024

The alcohol might be pushing you past some kind of sleep disturbance? It might help to get a sleep study done.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by tiny frying pan at 4:41 AM on March 26, 2024

Checking in so far:

In addition to finally getting some clarity on "hey yo so this is a thing you want me to do and NO ONE HAS GIVEN ME CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS ABOUT IT, halp", I have also been very diligent about not working overtime (my boss gave me the go-ahead on that) and have been monitoring the sleep. I've also given myself permission to subsist on Grubhub more often than usual if I'm like "I literally just can't" about cooking.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by EmpressCallipygos at 2:00 PM on March 22, 2024

The Personal History of David Copperfield
Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 7:38 AM on March 24, 2024

I assumed that Kate had undergone a hysterectomy, probably as a result of having fibroids.

Same. 2 weeks surgical recovery and 3 months light duty is what's usually recommended for a total hysterectomy. That no-one in the media mentioned this possibility shows how little people know about gynocologic medicine.
posted to MetaFilter by fiercekitten at 7:54 PM on March 22, 2024

And on reflection, I'll give sharing a go. My dad has had anamolous test results last week, so he's scheduled for more. He's 77, and there's about a 10% chance it's going to be bowel cancer. He's already survived prostate cancer, my wife had major surgery for other reasons that turned out to be pre-cancerous, and I'm just crossing every finger I've got that he turns out to be OK. I'm terrified. Fuck cancer.
posted to MetaFilter by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 7:21 PM on March 22, 2024

For context, the sovereign grant for 22/23 was £86.3 million, which pays for the core royal family, mostly staff and property maintenance, which was 25% of the profits generated from the Crown Estate (assets held in trust, which is managed independently) - the rest goes to the Treasury. The King gets an additional £20 million (mostly rent) from the Duchy of Lancaster, and about the same for William from the Duchy of Cornwall.

For individuals? An obscene amount of wealth.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 6:30 PM on March 22, 2024

Let’s not jump too quickly to foretelling everyone’s medium term demise, here; people do survive cancer, sometimes even cancers with terrible prognoses at the outset — it does happen.
posted to MetaFilter by eirias at 5:50 PM on March 22, 2024

Not buying the illusion that wealthy celebrities - or, worse yet, aristocrats and royals - are like us.

They may have the resources to stave them off for awhile but pain, suffering and death come to all. Being top deck on the Titanic doesn't count for much at the end. But who wouldn't spend whatever it took had they had whatever it took?
posted to MetaFilter by y2karl at 4:20 PM on March 22, 2024