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A lot of the ones that I disagree with are great creators or great songwriters or great musicians in general who happened to use a guitar. And so I sort of get how they end up here — because they're great! But you wouldn't really call Liz Phair or John Lennon into the studio because your recording project really needs some kickass guitar

And you sure as hell wouldn't call them before you called Andy Summers
posted to MetaFilter by secretseasons at 8:57 AM on October 14, 2023

Good god, 40 is young. Not to be an aged grouch (although I am), but no 40-year-old has any business whatsoever talking about the actual experience of old age.

Also -- speaking as someone who recently turned 70, the physical downsides (word chosen as tactful alternative to "horror show") of aging have nothing to do with the kinds of things that can be addressed with adornment, laser hair removal, Botox, or other aesthetic intervention. It... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Kat Allison at 4:34 PM on October 15, 2023

"Old people."

40 isn't old, kids.
posted to MetaFilter by Chuffy at 2:06 PM on October 15, 2023

I had a period of life where I could totally relate to this. It really is building a scaffolding and slowly patching it together.

One thing is - we get sold what a good life is, and it’s full of these status based achievements. Most of us live quiet lives. Like… really quiet lives. Accepting that and not feeling pressure to be exceptional really helped.

And also practicing gratitude for just being here to have a shot at life. It will be over so... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by St. Peepsburg at 10:50 AM on October 15, 2023

Depression Lies. Depression tells you that the good things you do, the support you get from others, your actual successes, don't matter. Depression tells you the glass is half full and the water is contaminated, too. The truth is that you are a human person with some successes and some failures. You've tried some things that didn't work out as expected, but you lead a life of compassion, integrity. You almost certainly have education, work and personal successes that you are unable to see.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by theora55 at 10:36 AM on October 15, 2023

It sounds to me like to need medication. Finding the right medication will take time and will have false starts. If you don't have Seritonin at home store bought is great!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Uncle at 8:55 AM on October 15, 2023

This sounds like the kind of anhedonia (reduced ability to experience pleasure) that is common with Clinical Depression.

The right type of antidepressant medication could really help.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 8:54 AM on October 15, 2023

Here is a source that does refer to Israel as a colonizing force.

Just reinforcing that there are varying perspectives on this specific question.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by latkes at 6:06 PM on October 14, 2023

You've probably guessed this already, but "how colonizer terminology is proper or improper" is by and large split exactly down the same fault line as every other question on the Palestine/Israel issue.

So whatever you read about it, understanding the writer's allegiance is probably more important than anything else because - spoiler - there is no definitive objective answer to this, and nor can there be. People on both sides will tell you that their side is... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by underclocked at 1:02 PM on October 14, 2023

It maybe sounds like you have the wrong number for them? Have you asked "Hey, [child] wanted to hang out on a walk last week - did you get my text?"?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by sagc at 4:17 PM on October 14, 2023

Are you 100% sure you have their correct/up to date phone number?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by EndsOfInvention at 4:17 PM on October 14, 2023

Being reminded of the excellent Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb has reminded me of Jamberry. We used to read that one A LOT.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Xalf at 7:30 PM on October 12, 2023

Sandra Boynton has a lot of these - her Barnyard Dance and Dinosaur Dance especially.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Mchelly at 6:05 PM on October 12, 2023

There was also the whole Tiffany or Debbie Gibson or Britney Spears point in time, too.

This is not a point in time that existed. Tiffany vs Debbie Gibson, yes, 1987 was a year, but Spears came more than a decade later.
posted to MetaFilter by jacquilynne at 11:52 AM on October 12, 2023

Also you need to watch the episode John Oliver did on HOAs.

If you have the option do not ever buy a house that is part of an HOA. Don't let anyone (realtors, potential neighbors, HOA reps) try to convince you otherwise. HOAs are scum. They are entirely unregulated, accountable to no one, and hold enormous powers over property owners. Try to find a place to live that has an actual, goddamn municipal government because it's way preferable to living under HOA.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by RonButNotStupid at 12:37 PM on October 12, 2023 marked best answer

My opinions:

1) Stay pretty far away (1/2 mile minimum) from a busy highway - any closer than that and you are going to have air quality issues. Do a minimum amount of research that no bad old factories were around you, especially if you live east of the Mississippi because that's where that stuff was located in the olden days. Most newer houses now are built on greenfield land.

2) It doesn't matter what the siding and heater/AC are made of as... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by The_Vegetables at 12:20 PM on October 12, 2023 marked best answer

What trees are on the property? What species, how old, what condition are they in? If you buy a house with a giant, old tree in a tricky location, you could end up with a surprise $20,000 bill if it dies and is difficult to take down.

What condition are the walls in, especially if they are plaster? If you are looking at an old house with plaster walls, especially with wallpaper on them, you go right over to the walls and tap and press them in multiple places.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:14 AM on October 12, 2023 marked best answer

If the cat is peeing right outside the box, you can line the floor around with puppy pads. This is what we do for our arthritic cat who sometimes has trouble getting the second half of herself into the box.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jb at 10:15 AM on October 12, 2023

By "peeing outside the box" do you mean the cat tends to pee RIGHT outside the box, or like, anywhere they want/can? I suggest peel and stick vinyl floor to protect your hardwood floors until everyone has settled down... probably worth it to do the whole floor surface then reduce the footprint to the area around the litter boxes.

Note; with this kind of move, all bets are off in terms of historic cat behavior patterns, and they are likely to keep changing over... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by nkknkk at 10:12 AM on October 12, 2023

Sax - Kenny G

The fact that you included this as an example tells me that people aren't going to be able to agree on the mappings you're looking for. In my mind, the only conceivable answer for Sax would be John Coltrane.

With that caveat, I'll contribute Harp ==> Harpo Marx.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Winnie the Proust at 6:04 PM on October 11, 2023

At least for classic rock enthusiasts, probably Ian Anderson for flute.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Flunkie at 5:58 PM on October 11, 2023

Peter Frampton for the guitar + talk box combo.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by credulous at 5:32 PM on October 11, 2023

Um, autistic adult here. I do this. It's like one part of me is watching in horror while the part that controls my mouth says exactly what I know I shouldn't say.

Or I realise an hour later why I shouldn't have said it.

I could speculate about why this happens, including the intense world theory, but autism is characterised by difficulties with understanding social context.

No idea if your relative is autistic but a)... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Zumbador at 11:00 AM on October 11, 2023 marked best answer

Your description sounds to me like many of the autistic adults I used to serve in therapeutic settings.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by ImproviseOrDie at 10:48 AM on October 11, 2023 marked best answer

Liquid smoke was going to be my first answer. My second answer is harder, but also not "authentic" -- you could add some lapsang souchang tea to the oil with the annatto seeds, maybe for just the last minute or so. But the problem with that is you will also get tea flavor as well as smoky flavor. Similarly, you could consider adding some smoked paprika at the step where you stir in the lemongrass. Thinking it through a bit more, I think I would try the smoked paprika first.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by OrangeDisk at 12:28 PM on October 9, 2023

...when they reach an age when that is no longer possible or they die, that wealth goes to their children.

Now we get to the heart of the matter:...They want to kill us via climate change.

They want to make us poor.

They want to keep us from retiring.

They want to let us die from lack of healthcare.

Hence...The sheer... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by y2karl at 11:09 PM on October 5, 2023

OTOH there’s a fair chance you have a house and a pension, something a lot of people younger than me will never see. And the basic math of it is if you don’t fall off line-goes-up economics you’re going to get more from it as time progresses, and whoever gets on earlier gets less.

Houses aren't disappearing, you know? In fact this gets to the heart of the confusion of class and age. Where do you think that housing wealth (from the subset of older... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by atrazine at 5:01 AM on October 5, 2023

All of that is true but I was talking about here in this thread. Where someone wroteThe sheer malicious hatred the elderly exhibit towards younger people is staggering.

They want to kill us via climate change.

They want to make us poor.

They want to keep us from retiring.

They want to let us die from lack of healthcare.

Yet, because "ageism" is a weaponized term... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by y2karl at 2:49 AM on October 3, 2023

People that are normally good at spotting how powerful actoirs use identity differences to create political division that works to undermine potential coalitions often fail to notice that in action when it comes to age cohorts.

Yes. I honestly have to thank sotonohito for posting those links, and y2karl for noting their sources, because it highlights for me who is driving the "gerontocracy" narrative that seems to be exacerbating... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Artifice_Eternity at 2:44 PM on October 2, 2023

People that are normally good at spotting how powerful actoirs use identity differences to create political division that works to undermine potential coalitions often fail to notice that in action when it comes to age cohorts.
posted to MetaFilter by Miko at 11:39 AM on October 2, 2023

As someone said to me in a MeMail:

I'm glad you're speaking up. I wish I thought it could do some good. But the anti-old people narrative is just way too strong and unexamined, I'm afraid.

Too true that. As for someone's But Greta Thunberg! comment implying ageism going both ways, oh please. It's never been anything but strictly one way here. And we all know which direction that is.
posted to MetaFilter by y2karl at 11:15 AM on October 2, 2023

RE peanut butter: I help make sandwiches for folks in need every week, and 90% of the time the donated peanut butter is the palm oil/sugar stuff. But we have gotten 35 pound buckets of real peanut butter and it was a pleasure (after we worked out a way to blend it from its separated state).

The organization gives out a lunch bag with a sandwich, apple, chips, water, etc. and I really appreciate that we can give folks a little bit of protein and fat with all those carbs.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bink at 11:17 PM on October 7, 2023

Re donating hygiene products: FYI, you can use FSA money to pay for menstrual products like pads and tampons, so if you've got extra money in your FSA that will otherwise go to waste, buy a bunch of pads and tampons, and donate some to your local food bank.
posted to MetaFilter by yasaman at 8:22 PM on October 7, 2023

Netanyahu is telling civilians to leave Gaza before he "flattens" the entire area, but he has the entire place blockaded and surrounded. Where are civilians supposed to go before this happens? What happens to those that aren't able to leave or are forced back inside by the IDF?

According to CNN:

"Residents of the Gaza Strip, pay attention! Hamas operations force the IDF to operate in your place of residence. For... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by clawsoon at 7:56 PM on October 7, 2023

So if I understand the situation, Hamas has ruthlessly slaughtered women and children in response to the Israelis ruthlessly slaughtering women and children to which offense the Israelis will repond by ruthlessly slaughtering women and children? Excellent. Great stuff all around.
posted to MetaFilter by Galvanic at 4:59 PM on October 7, 2023

Well, NPR has already reminded me twice in about 35 minutes that Israel is the victim in its decades-long conflict with the Palestinians.
posted to MetaFilter by outgrown_hobnail at 2:27 PM on October 7, 2023

i wonder if hamas is counting on others to join their uprising? - either through solidarity or because of the bloody reprisals that are sure to happen?

my opinion is that a truly significant news event is being overshadowed by this - Drone attack on Syria military college kills at least 89 and wounds hundreds more

i am not claiming this has anything to do with hamas at all - but for the first time that i'm aware of drones with explosives have... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by pyramid termite at 1:21 PM on October 7, 2023

I woke up to pee at 430am and took my phone. Oops. Hamas has been posting video of them killing rooms Israeli of civilians in bomb shelters with bullet sprays. Posting videos of putting tied up families on the backs of trucks as hostages.
posted to MetaFilter by atomicstone at 12:08 PM on October 7, 2023

You can't hurt the dead so why not be honest? I wasn't asked to give my uncle's eulogy and if I had I would have wanted to say, at least he won't be around to vote for Trump again and teach the younger cousins the racist jokes he loved so much. He was terrible at his many marriages but did love his daughter. He and his brothers did fuck all to help my mom who cared for their abusive mother when she was dying, so thanks for nothing there, bub.
posted to MetaFilter by emjaybee at 6:40 PM on October 7, 2023

I would have written a truthful obit for my father had I been allowed to. Everyone acknowledged that what I wanted to write was the truth but god forbid we speak ill of the dead. It's such bullshit.

Good for her and good for her uncle for sticking up for her.
posted to MetaFilter by cooker girl at 1:59 PM on October 7, 2023

Thanks for all the tips, it was helpful to come back and check in with throughout the day while I was trying to get myself together. Managed to deep clean the bathroom fully, which will make it much easier to keep on top of over the next couple of weeks and it was one of the things I was most anxious about (paranoid about infection I think) so if nothing else that’s off my mind. Really appreciated the advice to lower my expectations and figure out what’s actually important in this situation.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by chives at 4:52 PM on October 7, 2023

I really like open bins on shelves, preferably covered with cabinet doors, as a midpoint between being too visually cluttered and too hidden away. If you have the money (can be fairly cheap), buying a bunch of matching bins makes it feel much less visually cluttered.

You can roughly group things by bins and by different areas/closets to make it less chaotic - for example, I have an office supplies bin, a craft supplies bin, a camping stuff bin, and other bins in a... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by randomnity at 11:11 AM on October 7, 2023

A tip I learned from a professional organizer: papers should be stored upright, e.g. in one of those cardboard 'store your magazines' boxes. They take up less space that way and won't get covered in clutter. If you happen to have some colored sheets of paper or cardboard, you can use that to make dividers, but really, just put it all in.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by demi-octopus at 7:54 AM on October 7, 2023

Probably your biggest concern should be raccoon roundworm eggs. They can survive for years and are not killed by bleach or other disinfectants. If you swallow the eggs and get infected, the result is much worse than just intestinal worms. The larvae migrate out of the intestines and through your body tissue. They can end up in your eyes or brain. There is no completely effective treatment. Here is a summary from Purdue Cooperative Extension of how to protect yourself, including instructions for... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Redstart at 3:55 PM on October 7, 2023

In addition to the food items mentioned above, the things we need are:

1. Socks
2. Deodorant/antiperspirant
...

Where we used to live, my partner put in a lot of volunteer hours at the nearby foodbank. To me, as someone who has never been in the position of needing to use a foodbank, the extent to which people relied on it for non-food items surprised me. (It shouldn't be a surprise, but I had just... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Dip Flash at 7:48 AM on October 7, 2023

In response to MexicanYenta asking to piggyback on this post: of course! Thank you for doing so!
posted to MetaFilter by JHarris at 4:37 AM on October 7, 2023

In southern Massachusetts we just drove past a five foot-tall cement manatee holding a suburban mailbox. I like to believe there's a Parrothead at that house.

My college roommate turned me on to Buffet in 1991, and he's always been a fond listen since then.

Buffett was a keen businessman, but his music -- and fans -- are mellow, genial, and mildly buzzed. It's not a terrible ethos, honestly.
posted to MetaFilter by wenestvedt at 12:14 PM on September 2, 2023

I've never been into his music, but his restaurants - specifically the Landshark Bar & Grill - have saved the day for grumpybearbride and I on more than one occasion when we were on the verge of calamitous, world-ending hanger.

The year is 2021, and we are taking a weekend sojourn to Atlantic City from Philadelphia via one of the true wonders of public transportation, the dedicated Philadelphia to Atlantic City train. We arrive late and the threat of inclement... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by grumpybear69 at 10:07 AM on September 2, 2023

Whatever my feelings about the Buffett brand and some of his lazier songwriting since that took wind, he was indeed a very good songwriter back in his day.

I really like West Nashville Grand Ballroom Gown, which tells the tale of a guy from Tennessee who picks up a hippie burnout hitchhiker who ran away from her old money Nashville family. She sends a note with him to mail to her mom.

She said, "Mama, I'm fine,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by DirtyOldTown at 9:06 AM on September 2, 2023

> I can only guess that almost every interaction you have with him, and your feelings about him, and his feelings about you, are very colored and determined by daily panic attacks and whatever is driving them. That seems like the thing to address first, and see where the marriage is after that.

Answering to Dashy only to clarify that I do not have panic attacks anymore. I went through a very tough period where I was suffering them for almost a year but things are... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Riverside at 7:31 AM on October 6, 2023