MetaFilter

Maybe I'm reading too much into this but something about this doesn't quite sit right with me: My boyfriend said a lot of his exes gained weight after they started dating.

If this has been a pattern of his, all his exes gaining weight, it makes me want to look at the common factor: him. If your boyfriend is able to eat basically whatever he wants he's very fortunate or very active. But his apparent method of eating, big and more frequent meals, lots of... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by 6550 at 7:10 AM on September 9, 2009

No, the mods do a pretty good job of being serious about claims like this. (Although exposing some of the deleted material, a la the deleted blog would be slightly better.)

The community though is pretty terrible. Check out any MeTa post that criticizes MeFi or the mods and you'll find it filled to the brim with status quoism, groupthink and fling-poo-at-them-what-thinks-diff'rnt-ism.
posted to MetaTalk by DU at 6:18 AM on September 8, 2009

This has me thinking about how even within my small bit of Kentucky people like to hate on each other. The city school kids think the county school kids are hicks, and, well, I may be from the county but at least I'm not from Mud Creek, and...I don't even remember who Mud Creek residents consider more redneck. Magoffin Countians maybe? (And then when we're drinking my friends who hail from an area roughly equal to my own on the hick hierarchy like to accuse me of being from Mud Creek, and... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by little e at 2:09 AM on September 8, 2009

I kind of want to know who favorited that shit.

I favorited for the content of the story. What exactly do you intend to do about it?
posted to MetaTalk by Scoo at 12:50 PM on September 3, 2009

A whole new level of awkwardness is created when both I and my 5-year-old son enter a crowded public bathroom together (think, baseball stadium bathroom or amusement park bathroom, where this comes up a lot). There is usually only one or two short urinals, which are the only type low enough for him to reach. When it's crowded he'll often have to use the short urinal while I am several urinals over doing my own thing. When I need to check on him (making sure he's not taking off without me, not... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by The Gooch at 10:14 AM on September 2, 2009

Oh Sweet Cheeses
posted to Ask MetaFilter by mrsshotglass at 11:49 AM on September 1, 2009

In defense of DC...

1) As you seem to be aware, DC is a very multi-culti town, and diversity is pretty much the norm in the social scene here.

2) Because of the federal govt (and the contracts that support it), DC hasn't been hit nearly as hard as other parts of the country by the economic downturn. We definitely have jobs for people with business degrees and/or business experience. The cost of living is not low, but the salaries usually... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by somanyamys at 9:01 AM on August 21, 2009

The responses that don't answer the question should have been deleted, and I'm quite surprised that they weren't.

Civil responses that try to address the actual problem given are usually okay presuming that people stay decent. We delete grouchy "this is a bad question and you are a bad person for asking it" types of responses, but other responses that addressed other ways to solve the stated problem are usually left in.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 8:49 AM on September 1, 2009

"When a woman on Metafilter says she is offended by something she thinks is sexist, she's accused of being too light on the sexism trigger. When a man on Metafilter says he is offended by something he thinks is sexist against men, he's accused of same. That's how it goes here, pretty much every time. But men actually do possess male privilege."

Two things: First off, not every bias or privilege invalidates an observation or complaint. In fact,... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by klangklangston at 7:39 PM on August 28, 2009

Every prejudiced person thinks their prejudice is really, really sensible and justified and correct.

I think it takes us down the wrong road to defend the idea that it's right and proper to prejudge members of GROUP X because it's really true that members of that group are disproportionately responsibly for BAD THING Y. Because that's defending the idea of prejudice, and, sooner or later, and probably sooner, the same process is going to be used in a... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Zed at 2:57 PM on August 28, 2009

Okay Optimus Chyme, let's rewrite my post.

What I want to convey is:

When a lot more men are active in childrearing and a lot fewer women/girls (and men/boys) have experienced sexual assault by men, the problem of glaring parents and rejected photographers will take care of itself.

This is a feasible goal because it's possible for men to increase the childrearing work they do and to decrease the rates of sexual assault.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous at 2:23 PM on August 28, 2009

If my kid MUST approach a stranger or vice versa, I'd prefer it was the stranger significantly less likely, from a statistical standpoint, to murder.

That's funny. Parents used to (hell, some still do, just in a more oblique way) say exactly the same thing about having their kids be friends with/date members of another race. "I'm not racist, it's just statistics, you understand..." etc...

It was ridiculous then,... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by modernnomad at 7:59 AM on August 28, 2009

how, as a parent who does not know you, am I to determine whether you are a psycho approaching to kidnap/murder/maim/rape my child or a normal person truly intending to help?

Part of the point is that parents seem to overestimate the probability that a random dude approaching a lost child is going to kidnap/murder/maim/rape them. Most of the bad stuff that happens to kids gets done to them by someone they trust, so arguably parents should spend more... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by burnmp3s at 6:54 AM on August 28, 2009

I still think he's totally hotness on a stick

I don't consciously or unconsciously value people based on whether or not I'd personally want to sleep with them

So I guess you're doing it subconsciously, then? Or are you saying that you assign values to people based on how good they'd look on a stick? Not clear.
posted to MetaTalk by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:00 PM on August 24, 2009

Growing up I was a quiet,smart boy who loved spending hours alone in my room reading books and drawing. Until Summer came. I spent all of my summers growing up with my Aunt, Uncle and cousin, who was 3 months older than me. I have brothers and sisters, but my cousin and I were as close as twins pretty much from birth.

He was the bigger, stronger, more outgoing one, and I was the smaller sneaky smart one, and together we were like a tornado of mischief, broken stuff,... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by billyfleetwood at 12:26 AM on August 18, 2009

I didn't have a problem with the question -- some parents are laughably nuts. Thankfully, the kids usually turn out all right.

But I did have my own little laugh ... when I make an off-hand comment about the Body-Parts-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Inside-Sweaters, people freak the FUCK out. When anonymous asks, how can I keep my boys from acting like dicks as all unsupervised, un-neutered boys will always do everywhere, people (including me) offer helpful advice.
posted to MetaTalk by Cool Papa Bell at 5:24 PM on August 17, 2009

But I said as much up top and you're not literally asking me an honest question, so I guess I will shut up for awhile.

I was, though - apologies for my snarky tone getting in the way.

I still don't understand what you want. It seems to me that you're chiding people who answered the question without including delete-worthy language. People who said things along the lines of "You're wrong [but here's an... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by rtha at 1:32 PM on August 17, 2009

I admired the maturity of all the respondents in that thread, because I felt that question was really offensive and completely over the top, and I had to restrain myself with my own answer.

So I felt that people were doing a great job of burying their initial "Christ what an asshole" gut responses and answering in a helpful manner.

Now, seeing this thread, though, I have to say the "that's a reasonable concern" responses are... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by misha at 12:02 PM on August 17, 2009

I have two brothers, and we're all close in age. We're all quite successful, reasonably well adjusted, secure, and public-spirited, with people we love and people who love us. But we're also, sometimes, assholes. As is every human being I've ever met.

We're men, and we were boys. And pretty typical ones at that. Growing up has been largely, for each of us, about tempering our bio-social masculine energies to socially appropriate ends. We are each big guys, each... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by fourcheesemac at 11:26 AM on August 17, 2009

Nobody has mentioned Siblings Without Rivalry, so I will. I have found it to have helpful ideas about how to create a family environment where kids are less likely to compete in unhealthy ways and/or harass each other to death.

You should be prepared for your second child to possibly be very different from your first--he may be more active, less inclined to be polite, shy-er, etc, so you may have some challenges you haven't had with #1. Every child is his own person;... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by not that girl at 11:07 AM on August 17, 2009

For what it's worth, my take on this was also one of WTF. Gender stereotypes do nobody any good.

If I'm reading you correctly, AHFYA, you seem to be taking the responses the OP is getting as a validation of their stereotyping? (you: but I also wonder how possible it is to tell anonymous the he/she doesn't deserve to have a fucked-up worldview validated (by answers that simply say "I'm a brother and not a thug" or "I'm a sister and fought with my... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Stewriffic at 10:25 AM on August 17, 2009

There's a real difference between "How do I raise two boys?" and "OMG, the world is ending! We're having a second boy!". It's probably fair to think that such an attitude might colour the parents' relationships with their male kids. There's a self-reinforcing feedback loop there that may not be healthy.

Beliving the worst in your kids before they're even born probably won't lead to well-adjusted adults. There's cause for concern.
posted to MetaTalk by bonehead at 10:23 AM on August 17, 2009

I read this question last night, and it deeply offended me. So, I slept on it, because I didn't want to react. Plus, I wasn't exactly sure why it affected me so much. So, this morning I re-read it, but I'm still offended.

The problem is your crude generalization: asserting that males, without a controlling authority present, will naturally grow into brutes.

As a male parent of males, and as a sibling of males, I can tell you that your... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by TheOtherSide at 7:06 AM on August 17, 2009

Not to be an asshole, but shouldn't that be "please stop pissing in the penis post?

I take it you have never heard of shitting dicknipples. A google image search should provide enlightenment.
posted to MetaTalk by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:29 AM on August 13, 2009

I'm a recent convert to the "making positive changes to your diet alone will cause you to loose wait" camp. Thanks to SparkPeople (diet/nutrition tracking site) I've been able to lose 16 pounds in just under two months. I'm still eating foods I enjoy and haven't resorted to switching to lite-beer, but I'm learning (or relearning and actually applying what I learn) about portion sizes and balance. The weight loss is great, but for me the more important thing is that I actually feel... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Slack-a-gogo at 7:41 AM on August 13, 2009

Brandon Blatcher says it's not a stunt post and I guess I have to believe him. It seems more like a post made to make a point rather than "oh I think this would be a good post for MetaFilter" but Brandon Blatcher doesn't seem to want to explain it, so this is what we've got.

What are you talking about? Nobody asked for an explanation and I missed the requirement that every post be explained. Sorry my history of making stunt posts confused... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Brandon Blatcher at 7:04 AM on August 13, 2009

Consider that he may not want to know anything about you and that helping was enough. Thanks are fine, but as sad or unfair as it may sound, it's not really fair for you to try and get into his head like this. This is an intense time for you and the year-wait was likely instituted for a reason.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by rhizome at 3:45 PM on August 7, 2009

What a load of balderdash. The girls hate you, the guys are this, the girls are like this.

The players involved are not some generic stand-in character, they are individuals, the guys and the girls, and the situation varies drastically from club to club and night to night at the same club. The ones that I enjoy don't have the dont' talk to other men vibe in them.

I've been going to strip clubs since I was 20, when my ex-girlfriend drug me in. I... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by psycho-alchemy at 5:15 PM on August 9, 2009

adipocere: "I have yet to visit a strip club... Based on the article, I'm going to say that the only winning move is not to pay."

P.o.B.: "Exactly. From what I've heard, the minute you pay, you are just a customer/ATM at that point. The story kind of went off the rails the minute he mentioned his friend payed while they had a "real" conversation with the stripper."

YSMV but... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by pineapple at 9:15 AM on August 9, 2009

Unless one of us happens to be an abortion provider :)

Worst use of a smiley face ever.
posted to MetaTalk by smackfu at 2:34 PM on August 7, 2009

I don't really want to be Robin. Can I be Jim Gordon instead?

No! Now put on your green panties like a man.
posted to MetaTalk by Skot at 2:07 PM on August 7, 2009

May I just go on record as saying I can't stand this callout?

rtha, I generally have a lot of respect for you. I often learn a lot from your comments, and find myself agreeing with you more often than not. But this sort of "let's mob together and attack kldickson all at once" mentality is unpleasant.

Since kldickson asked, I'm going to reply to her here. I didn't pile on earlier because I thought that would be... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by zarq at 1:31 PM on August 7, 2009

Well, that was a very reasoned and well-considered response, kldickson.

I can't be too critical of you. Up until just a few months ago, I was a bit of a cowboy on the Web, and I still find myself reaching for my pistols when things get heated. I've been trying to be a lot more civil, tough, in part because it keeps my own blood pressure down, and in part because screaming at strangers on the Internet just became too exhausting. I try to assume people are arguing in good... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 12:35 PM on August 7, 2009

Exercise solved my mild niggling back aches. My experience is similar to homoncula's; lifting free weights resolved my night-time back aches. Unfortunately, it was replaced by muscle soreness. This, however, is much more manageable and preferable. Incidentally, lifting also helped with the wrist soreness I was experiencing.

Definately talk to your doctor first, but strengthening the muscles of your lower back may help.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Barry B. Palindromer at 9:28 AM on August 7, 2009

"Retard" is a pretty obnoxious little phrase. I know people will argue that it can have a neutral meaning, but, honestly, does anyone think that the potency of the phrase comes from anything but its mocking reference to the developmentally disabled? I wonder if we could get a ruling on that word and its permutations, as I think it really brings down the dialogue here; even if it were neutral, which I don't believe it is, the word is insulting and poor fodder for cilvility.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 11:17 AM on August 7, 2009

Hey look! It's VIA jessamyn! ftfy.

Hey I have a tattoo! Two tattoos. Neither are literary though. One keeps monsters away.

Who is so stupid, though, that they think of librarians as little old ladies with buns?

The idiot media.

I was at a wedding yesterday for a goot friend who I have known since I was eleven. One of her friend's parents who has also known me about that long... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by jessamyn at 5:21 PM on August 2, 2009

Cardio? Skipping.
Strength? ...yoga to start with.

Look at your body type and work with it. You sound a bit uncoordinated :) so don't pick activities where this will be a source of discouragement.

Make sure you are eating well! (If you loose 55 lbs you'll be dead.) Cardio - you'll need lots of good carbs to burn. Muscle - needs protein to build. (Whey powder is a good source plus it has lots of calcium. Yum yum.)... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by mu~ha~ha~ha~har at 11:03 PM on July 28, 2009

I have done Pilates and weight training concurrently. Some thoughts:

- I had one-on-one sessions of Pilates with an instructor. I didn't do it on my own, and I would not recommend starting on your own, simply because there are lots of alignment issues. For example, with mat work (i.e. no machines like the Reformer), my instructor tended to have to shift my hips to the one side when I was doing exercises lying down - it felt right to me, but my posture was actually wonky... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by djgh at 12:47 PM on July 27, 2009 marked best answer

ludwig i know you're much more experienced than i am so i am hesitant to chime in but i can squat my bodyweight all day so here goes. it sounds to me like you've let benchmarking (and its concomitant anxieties) become your workout, and you therefore don't really enjoy it anymore. what's the point in progressing at something that you don't find fulfilling or gratifying?

i used to run quite a bit and i always felt that it was really beneficial to... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by holympus at 7:48 PM on July 21, 2009

It seems like the solution here is not "NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY!" but "Could people give me a heads up before they take pictures so I can step out until you're done? I have epilepsy." Nobody harmed. Everybody happy.
posted to MetaTalk by katillathehun at 11:30 AM on July 16, 2009

the growth pattern of the mature plant screams "aster"

I remember screaming "aster" a few times. With an F in front of aster. Good times.
posted to MetaTalk by iconomy at 7:34 AM on July 16, 2009

I was one yesterday!
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 10:48 AM on July 15, 2009

Happy tenth, MeFi! I can't believe I've been around for eight of those years (lurker for the first year, member for the next seven), but at the same time I can hardly believe it's only been that long. You've been such a huge part of my life I know I take you for granted sometimes, but I love you.

What do you mean, I "never bring pay any attention to you anymore"? I posted to the front page just yesterday. Oh come off it, I don't know why it bothers you that I... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by orange swan at 10:08 AM on July 14, 2009

BILLY MAYS HAS SEVERAL FINE PRODUCTS THAT CAN HELP HOMEOWNERS REDUCE STRESS!
posted to MetaFilter by TheWhiteSkull at 11:41 AM on June 24, 2009

To be honest, I think you really aught to pick the most embarassing thing you can think of about your sexuality and tell him about it. Just to put things on an even footing.

Or do you really want him going to bed every night thinking that you're going to tell his female friends about this if he breaks up with you? Or that, gods forbid, you're sitting in semi-silent judgement of him for it?

He didn't ask to share this with you. The least you can do is reciprocate.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Orb2069 at 5:58 AM on June 22, 2009

Dude. You're in Cleveland. The punk song has to be Sonic Reducer.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by BitterOldPunk at 12:08 PM on June 18, 2009

I haven't liked the comments on her looks in this thread, and I thought the comment about her looking like a pakled was particularly egregious since it seems to combine a comment with her looks with a comment about her Asian epithelial folds.

However, when I read the article it made me really angry for several reasons:

1) Loh really lost me at the start because she wrote about her affair in the passive voice. She was too sly about it, and, in... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by OmieWise at 6:45 AM on June 18, 2009

mmm butter-boarding...

/drool
posted to MetaFilter by supermedusa at 7:46 PM on June 17, 2009

But we risk going too far in the other direction when we focus on eating more instead of on the underlying causes of anorexic models.

Uh, did you not read my second comment? Wherein I posited some underlying causes for anorexia among models? Namely, getting fired if they don't lose weight?

I think you're a) mis-reading me and b) viewing the discussion through the filter of whatever your own issues are. We're all guilty of B... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by grapefruitmoon at 5:53 PM on June 17, 2009

Sorry, I blew all my snark on the local blogs.

(Whoa, that sounded really dirty.)
posted to MetaFilter by JoanArkham at 12:19 PM on June 16, 2009