MetaFilter

Went to a hooters in Vancouver BC once with the whole family. I can't remember exactly why it was selected but I do know that it was chosen not by the males in the family but by the females.

I do recall that it was underwhelming for the naughtiness factor but that the waitress was memorably good at her job as a server.
posted to MetaFilter by bz at 12:16 PM on February 24, 2010

Overgeneralizing about religion is no more appropriate than overgeneralizing about nationality, race, sexual orientation, or gender.

This needs to be repeated a whole bunch of times. Maybe it should go in the FAQ.
posted to MetaTalk by neroli at 3:01 PM on February 23, 2010

stealabove, there's no consensus here. I think if you re-read some of the helpful comments upthread you'll find a lot of good thoughts, some of which may apply to you and your situation.

My personal attitude towards relationships is pretty different from yours, but I think we can both agree that what is essential is open and honest communication. You two need to agree on whatever you both can agree is acceptable -- freely and... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by seanmpuckett at 6:03 PM on February 22, 2010

Go ahead and ask for the boundaries you want and ask her if she can keep those boundaries. You're not acting as her "keeper" when you ask for her and you to come up with mutually acceptable boundaries.

And trust is earned. It is a feeling, not a reward you give someone. And she's done a lot of things that make you feel less trusting towards her than you'd like.

What's needed between you two is a good long talk. Accepting that you might... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Ironmouth at 7:16 AM on February 23, 2010

God help me but I think this is the way it went.

- TNH had a very popular blog with a small community at her personal website.
- She came up with this idea of "disemvowelling" problematic comments
- Other people latched on to this and gave it a lot of "OMG AWESOME" props
- Because there's not really much to say about moderation other than "be good at it"
- And people like to think they can... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 12:58 PM on February 22, 2010

Wrong. Vain and sexy are not being used pejoratively here. Sexy is in no way pejorative in my world. Vainity is. But the fact is she is both sexy and vain. The good and the bad - and I'm trying to deal with both facts.

Some of you are nuts. If your SO left you and ended up in a hotel room with a stranger she just met and they had a sexy photoshoot together - this is completely okay? I am controlling for thinking it's a bit of a betrayal of trust?? That is absurd.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by stealabove at 3:19 PM on February 22, 2010

Maybe there should be a bingo card for shitty arguments. The square for "my viewpoint is on such a moral high ground you don't even understand it" has come up at least three times already.

MeFi Projects, here I come!
posted to MetaFilter by P.o.B. at 3:42 PM on February 21, 2010

"I honestly don't care about further explanations or elaborations on this; I know exactly what you mean. And I'm asking you not to bring the discourse onto the blue or anywhere else on the site. It's degrading and offensive."

It's late I know and not to catch you in an uncharacteristically uncharitable moment but: What is offensive and degrading is an attempt to silence opinions that you don't agree with by appointing... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by vapidave at 1:48 AM on February 20, 2010

As for older people who target younger, I said nothing about patriarchy. I have explained why I think it is unwise and distateful, but that would require you to actually read my comments.

For the record, though, several people did connect it to patriarchy as if this were a trump card that showed men are bad for seeking out younger women.

The past 100 or so comments out of almost 400 (!) have read like a vigorous... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Jaltcoh at 5:37 AM on February 19, 2010

And I'm maintaining my position that there still exists a power differential in the younger woman/older man scenario that does not exist in the younger man/older (or fatter) women scenario, so that you can't exchange one for the other to make a point.

The power differential is not as simple as you seem to think. A hot, young woman can absolutely push an older, wealthier man around with her sexuality -- often without even trying. I've known plenty of... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by LordSludge at 8:20 PM on February 17, 2010

Oh, GOD no. Old men? VERY old men?! How did you ever survive the shame of being pursued by them? And they wanted *sex* too? Like LOVE and a relationship??? HAHAHAHAHA. God, it's like the creepers think they're people and everything.

Something tells me you're missing his point.

(And I actually just made a batch of Double-Cheeseburger Hamburger Helper, hehe!)
posted to MetaFilter by LordSludge at 5:55 PM on February 17, 2010

For my part, I just wish that people would stop judging or having strong opinions about what other folks do with their own sexual desires.

Jeez, its tiresome. 30 year old guy wants to date a 40 year old woman and she wants to date him back? Whats the problem? 40 year old guy wants to date a 20 year old WOMAN, and she wants to date him back, whats the problem?

Sex is fun. I like it. With all kinds of women.

\rant
posted to MetaFilter by sfts2 at 4:11 PM on February 17, 2010

Wow, the vitriolic rejection of what is clearly a tongue-in-cheek genderfication of cupcake design is really speaking volumes.
posted to MetaFilter by DU at 11:47 AM on February 18, 2010

Frobenius Twist-

Really? Can you pick some more extreme language? He wasn't declawing cats in front of an altar. This is the kind of talk that is creating some of these problems. Everybody turn down your sensitivity meter just a tad and realize that your opinions may not be shared by others.
posted to MetaTalk by Big_B at 4:23 PM on February 17, 2010

bunnycup: "I don't disagree that there is some level of bias here at Metafilter, but I want to think about how we would define the bias. Without intending to present an exhaustive review, I would firmly suggest that there is a bias toward respectful, open, accepting speech and attitudes. In my very humble opinion, MeFi is very tolerant of a wide range of opinions so long as they are civilly and thoughtfully expressed. As compared to the outside world, I also see MeFites far more... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by jefeweiss at 9:25 AM on February 17, 2010

-picks jaw up off the floor-

You know, even having experienced this, I'm still always shocked and flabbergasted that people actually say this shit.
posted to MetaFilter by strixus at 11:50 AM on February 16, 2010

That is exactly what I wear at the brank that I manage!

Brank - That's just... it's...
posted to MetaTalk by Karmakaze at 10:10 AM on February 16, 2010

More on topic, you know what I think part of the problem is? Those who recognize that women are at an extreme disadvantage (their bodies are constantly scrutinized) want to pull all the way back to even it out (never scrutinize a woman's body). That's a common mechanism for social change - you push hard in the opposite direction, go too far, then the pendulum swings back a bit as a reaction, then forward again, and eventually we hope it finds a balance near the center.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by prefpara at 8:27 AM on February 16, 2010

This is the sort of thread I'm totally scared to comment in.

I find Christina Hendricks completely visually arresting (at least as she appears in the first couple of seasons of Mad Men, which are the only ones I've seen). I also think she's a talented actress, that she played a good lady scoundrel in Firefly, and that her Joan is as canny a Machiavellian puppetmaster as I've seen in fiction, but I have to say that my overall sense of her is framed by my perception of... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by killdevil at 5:24 PM on February 15, 2010

So you believe it was okay that women used to be belittled and infantilized. That's a rather unusual position to take. Personally, I couldn't disagree more.

Perhaps you think that having men AND women being shat on in a way that was previously mostly used against women is progress; you're entitled to your own opinions on what constitutes improvement. Frankly, I think it's pretty nasty coming from a group of people who pride themselves on being... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by eatyourcellphone at 4:30 AM on February 16, 2010

I don't see the usefulness of this meta. People who aren't idiots about gender don't need it (Hincandenza and others on his side of the argument are idiots)

I kinda want to pop him in the nose (I want to commit violence against hincandenza, and feel I have the right to announce this to the world at large)

hincandenza needs either a timeout, a nap or SOMETHING. (Hincandenza has the... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by eatyourcellphone at 1:19 AM on February 16, 2010

I'm probably wasting my time even posting this, since MeFi is a very unsympathetic crowd when it wants to be, such as hollers that I'm in an incredibly sexist pig to a blatant troll to jessamyn's wonderfully armchair psychiatric diagnosis of "he's haunted". Thanks, lady!

Honestly, the holier-than-thou people suck. The f-bomb that jessamyn deleted was because someone said "Try looking at the MSW of craigslist and then say that with a straight face".... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by hincandenza at 12:26 AM on February 16, 2010

"If I were your therapist..." which, I'm sorry, is clearly an establishment of a clinical relationship with the OP.

Lawyer here. "If I were your __________" = I am not your ________. Though granted not the best choice of wording when one wants to avoid creating the impression of a clinical relationship, the statement you cited does not "clearly establish" anything, let alone a clinical... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by applemeat at 7:04 AM on February 15, 2010

I agree with everyone who said that the mascot represents the merit, and inevitable and ultimate hegemony of feminism as it symbolically devours a repressive and derogatory cultural archetypal manifestation of the feminine gender.
posted to MetaFilter by found missing at 12:28 PM on February 14, 2010

yet we don't see a lot of studies that parade a bunch of naked men with different shoulder-waist ratios in front of women and observe their brain activity to determine the "ideal" male body.

If you scroll down, references 1-6 are about how face shape, face masculinity and shoulder-waist ratios affect how women rate men, and how women's preferences change during their menstrual cycles. Although not linked to from here, there's also solid... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by metaBugs at 1:14 AM on February 11, 2010

AZ, I'm getting paternalism from this comment, and perhaps this comment alone:

Keep in mind, though, that feminism was a big proponent of the idea of false consciousness -- that people can be so enmeshed in the dominant idiology as to not recognize it, and accidentally act against their self-interest as a result.

I'm getting that from the interpretation that I can't know my own interests, and if only someone wiser than me... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bunnycup at 12:53 PM on February 9, 2010

Dope of all sorts is legal where I am. It's not a geographic thing, because I move around pretty much all the time. My leadership in the church along with the ability to fold space creates a de facto extra national zone around me regardless of political boundaries, encompassing the room I occupy. When outdoors the field extends maybe 2-3 meters out, even further when in a discreet or semi-enclosed space.

I am not sure exactly whether or not this... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Meatbomb at 2:43 AM on February 1, 2010

I'm going to give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt- let's say he does really view this girl as no more than a child, his lil' buddy. He definitely didn't handle you talking to him about it the right way, but if he really does see her as a "cousin", then it probably was bizarre for him to hear you say the things you did. I think you should refuse to attend any gatherings where she'll be present going forward, not making a big stink about it, but if he asks why you aren't coming,... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:12 AM on January 27, 2010

No will not have a freaky physique, but if you're goal is to do those amounts of repetitions then by all means go for it. But once you move past 20-25 reps, or so, you've outside of "strength" & "muscle building" training as goals.

Listed with first, second, tertiary priorities & effects:

% of Max / Reps / Dur.(in Sec.) /... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by P.o.B. at 7:38 PM on January 20, 2010

tip of my fucking cock

why does this sound like some kind of Irish greeting?
posted to MetaTalk by found missing at 4:49 PM on January 20, 2010

I don't think the connection is as literal as all that. The depiction of someone feeling a delirious happiness as being surrounded by birds, finding flowers and sniffing them joyfully, skipping...it's been around a long time. Delirious happiness can be caused by a lot of things.

The wit you're noting is in depicting its happening after sex, a la Bridget Jones, when in older media it was sometimes depicted at springtime (related to sex, sure), generic romance, or just... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Miko at 8:18 AM on January 19, 2010

Ohmigod. Please!

I consider myself a "sensitive male," but most of these questions sound so contrived and corny. I really don't want to know most of those things about the guys I hang out with in a social setting. Goes double when I feel like I've been sent out to "talk about man stuff" as if we've been given some sort of assignment. As if I were expected to do the male version of something women think is a good time.

Men... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by cross_impact at 11:48 AM on January 15, 2010

(Damn, there's a mess in here to clean up).

- What's your biggest fear about aging?
- Do you ever feel tempted to just walk away from your current life and become someone else?
- If you could travel back in time and tell your young self one thing, what would it be and what age in your past would you tell it to?
- If you could travel forward in time and ask your future self one question, what would it be?
- Have you found... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Ufez Jones at 9:19 AM on January 14, 2010

her body had been forcibly edited back to its pre-transition state

If you have to be taking hormones to maintain a "female" state, how is allowing what male centric hormones are still in existence in the body "being forcibly edited"?

If anything the external force was regular injections of female hormones.

Oh, and who's paying for the female hormones while in the hospital? As... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by rough ashlar at 8:41 AM on January 14, 2010

Therefore, just for practical reasons, I would avoid getting too worried about the fate of bugs.

I have to agree with those who say that you just need to accept the imperfection of the vegan quest. Even if you eat only fruits and vegetables, the reality is that farming kills a lot of bugs and animals, directly (through pest control, even organic pest control, and through the inherent violence of all harvesting mechanisms) and indirectly (through... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Miko at 9:25 AM on January 12, 2010

I have been trying not to dig into the discussion of Metachat and St. Alia's apparently final departure from it last August, but if we're going to keep coming back to it I want to be clear about a couple things.

There's a general expectation, on mefi and metachat both, that folks won't engage in cross-site drama—beefing about some negative mefi interaction on metachat and vice versa, essentially—and that's something both Jessamyn and I have made efforts to support over... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 11:57 AM on January 11, 2010

I believe what you are looking for is a Cease and DTMFA letter.
posted to MetaTalk by Babblesort at 10:10 AM on January 11, 2010

"I think all of this has been a pretty good illustration of what arrogant, self-important, ponderous, rug-burned pricks you liberals can be sometimes"

Lesson one of Metafilter: you're not a special wittle snowflake apart from the rest of the snowdrift. You're in here with the rest of us, and if you think attempts to create divides are good and healthy for the site, you should really think again. Stereotyping sucks dude.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by BigSky at 5:59 AM on January 10, 2010

Why the hell do you punch in another TD?

Don't want us to score? Then play defense.

I agree that Nick Saban is an evil asshole, though. But he's OUR evil asshole. At least until he gets a better offer.

And lysdexic: July's fine. Y'all come see us.
posted to MetaTalk by BitterOldPunk at 12:20 PM on January 8, 2010

"Now, could someone with a lot of time please create a wiki page with all current posters who used to be other posters?"

She's the only one.

Trust me.
posted to MetaTalk by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 12:19 PM on January 8, 2010

I killfilled St. Alia a while back.

Then how exactly do you know she's arguing in bad faith or good faith or any faith at all?

It's your privilege to killfile her (there are plenty of people I do my best to tune out around here), but it's dirty pool to say "I'm ignoring you; la la la I can't HEAR you" and then write extended comments trashing someone's character and accusing her of disingenuousness -- as if any of... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by FelliniBlank at 6:53 AM on January 8, 2010

I'm not a big poster, but I've read a number of posts with St. Alia battles and she's never come across as more strident or more obnoxious than many many folks who toe the mefi political line. There are lots of users on here with more similar opinions to mine whose comments I skip right past because they're just big-old-jerky-jerkfaces.

I'm glad there are a handful of active users with opposing viewpoints in Metafilter, and I wish there were more. St. Alia has a... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Dojie at 2:14 PM on January 7, 2010

Finally, science is gay and you are gay if you like science.

I am tired of you. This sort of "let me parody the other side using the crappy language that makes people mad when they use it" is actually part of the problem.

If you don't like people using words like "gay" to describe things that are bad, don't do it as a joke. Cleaning up after that sort of stuff -- especially in the... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 1:01 PM on January 7, 2010

For all the victim-blaming that is being accused in this thread, how many more times do gay men get called sexual predators of all stripes? Why is it so difficult to understand why the original comment is questionable?

A lot of people have acknowledged that there are, indeed, a bunch of problems with the comment duncadunk made. The most generous reading of his comment that started this is that it was a poor context for, and poorly thought-out way of,... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 7:09 AM on January 7, 2010

I think what may have confused you both is that the word "community" probably has warm, fuzzy associations for you.

Well, it's more that it doesn't have explicitly negative associations for us, I think, which I gather is something you don't share with us, and fine, that's your thing. There's a lot of value to this place as a community, in my opinion, but your twice emphasizing the "nice" in your characterization... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 3:34 PM on January 5, 2010

Holy Hell.

For all the none of you wondering why I don't comment as much as I once did, it's because shit like this depresses the hell out of me and then forces me to write long rambling responses like the one you're about to read or else wisely ignore.

emotions are best described as 'fitting' rather than right or wrong; there are standards of 'appropriateness' for emotions that are independent of moral... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Navelgazer at 9:02 PM on January 5, 2010

What I think is really sad here is that dunkadunc made a good-faith effort here to say "Hey, a remark I made was questioned, let's talk about it" and dnab basically went "talk about it!? How dare you! I quit!".

dunkadunc put his reputation on the line and demonstrated genuine interest in understanding other people's opinions, and for this alone I feel he deserves our respect.

On the other hand, I... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:26 PM on January 4, 2010

Bah, you know what? Fuck this nonsense. Metafilter is A-OK with homophobes, and is definitely A-OK with defending the homophobes when some silly faggot forgets his place and gets pissed off about it. I am, finally, done. My account is closed, and mods will not be reopening it. Bye.

ZOMG WHO IS GOING TO MAKE THE BAGELS NOW!?!?!?1>1>?!!?
posted to MetaTalk by slogger at 12:15 PM on January 4, 2010

I'm very curious to know whether you've read Starting Strength and why you wouldn't recommend it to someone who you think should learn how to squat.

Yes, and I wouldn't recommend the book for multiple reasons such as intent, goals and demeanor. Squats can be learned in a matter of minutes with a decent trainer. Someone doesn't need to read fifty some odd pages of Starting Strength and it's not the only appropriate answer for workout questions.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by P.o.B. at 5:42 PM on December 22, 2009

I think it's interesting that this gets called out, but the Myers-Briggs relationship question slides by.
posted to MetaTalk by drezdn at 6:18 AM on December 22, 2009