MetaFilter

The denizens of MetaFilter largely choose to live lifestyles that cause them to be surrounded with the enlightened. This is highly rational and understandable, but it does lead to some skewed perceptions. Based on comments here and in similar threads, I get the distinct impression that many people here don't have a good feel for the sheer numbers of people that do, still, in 2010, buy into social ideals like the crap on the list.

Mind you, in social circles where those... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by darksasami at 12:47 PM on July 28, 2010

Oh, I should note that one of the reasons I find this troublesome is that (however unintentionally) it feeds into the belief that women's pro leagues are not really pro leagues and the real test is whether a woman can make it into the non-exclusively-women's pro leagues. Note that they mostly aren't actually "men's leagues" as they are open to anyone.

So all of this "oh, women just need the same opportunities and training and then maybe... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Justinian at 2:37 PM on July 27, 2010

I won't be attending, but will admit to be somewhat interested in attending at some point in the future, while realistically being aware that I likely won't ever attend.
posted to MetaTalk by Richat at 2:09 PM on July 26, 2010

The insistence of people moving the news item from "woman loses suit over being consensually filmed" to "woman loses suit over sexual assault" seems like a pretty slippery argument to me.
I understand how people could be pissed about this or anything related to Francis. I understand having something so compromising coming back on you is a really messed up thing. I understand this is a really messed up topic for some people.
What nobody here knows... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by P.o.B. at 3:55 PM on July 25, 2010

What's amazing about these threads is how so many of the posters simply dismiss any comment that doesn't neatly fit within their worldview. Anyone who disagrees needs to "get better informed" and listen more, or is told to shut up.

All they do is teach men to better recognize when to condescend to women. Well done.
posted to MetaTalk by gjc at 7:22 AM on July 20, 2010

Someone wants a fight. Sorry.
posted to MetaTalk by smackfu at 7:05 AM on July 20, 2010

: >

posted by ??????

Oh come on. Maybe you should have some minimum length filter.
posted by desjardins at 1:18 PM on July 16 [1 favorite +] [!]

That's actually one of the easier ones I can think of.
*remembers amberglow*
posted to MetaTalk by Ufez Jones at 11:27 AM on July 16, 2010

It may be better to call that particular result the Special Guest/Apt Sockpuppet/Confused Person/Referenceability Axis. Though that's a pretty wordy name.

Breaking it down:

Special guests:
- stevewoz (because he's Woz)
- amandapalmer (because she's Amanda Palmer)
- eotvos (because he's our 10th meetup Antarctic rep)

Apt Sockpuppets:
- hex string (take THAT, conflict of... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 4:14 PM on August 18, 2009

[is relieved she is not on the list]

Me too, me too! but someone I know well is! :D

(*Hi Mom*!)
posted to MetaTalk by Lynsey at 4:23 PM on July 14, 2010

I actually wish there was a flag that was "this is not a good post" because then people could use the flag instead of making that comment on the post.
posted to MetaTalk by andoatnp at 12:41 PM on July 14, 2010

Speaking as someone who sent out such an email weekly for six years, and who did this exact transition in ~ 2008, I'd say you can safely move beyond your three concerns listed above. Nobody is worrying about text-only clients in 2010.

Part of the reason is that the vanishingly-few (and very infrequently-used) clients that we think of as being text-only are actually capable of rendering simple HTML markup nowadays. Example: Pline, and its cousins WebPine and AlPine.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by squid patrol at 9:18 AM on July 11, 2010 marked best answer

I grew up in MD. As far as crab cakes: LUMP MEAT! No other! The best crab cake should be huge lumps of crab meat barely held together by everything else. Whenever I eat crabcakes elsewhere they're always 80% bread crumbs 20% crab and it drives me crazy. I like mine broiled rather than fried too, but either way is legit MD.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by lockestockbarrel at 2:43 PM on July 11, 2010

If your husband is from the Carolinas, for this month only, Krispy Kreme is selling Cheerwine filled Krispy Kreme donuts.

They are magnificent.

And only available in NC this month.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Comrade_robot at 1:10 PM on July 11, 2010

When I was 18 I too had a 52 year old boyfriend. He was great, a nearly famous painter who spoke eight languages fluently and had a terrific sense of humor, very little money and a lifetime of fascinating experiences to share. We had a wonderful time together and I have no regrets. It lasted about three months during which we traveled, did all kinds of cool things and met lots of fascinating people. He never promised or suggested any more and I didn't want that anyway. He sure as hell never came... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by mygothlaundry at 12:40 PM on July 11, 2010

One thing, xbeautychicx, that you might be aware of is that this community has an unfortunate tendency to view situations outside of their experience as "trolling." You know, "Oh, this cannot possibly be real. This must therefore be some elaborate hoax."

Some folks here, while I do not agree with their views, are so often regarded as trolls by others that I have come to believe that tendency to be a prime measure of how much an echo chamber a... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by adipocere at 2:40 PM on July 11, 2010

Where are the black female friends who should be opening her eyes about this man? Was she raised by white people? Really, really ignorant white people?

Whoa. Because only white people do stupid shit like dating men three times their age? We all know sisters wouldn't let a sister down like this! Stupid white women fall for older, richer guys. Women of color stick together, yeah!

Yikes.

To me, this... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by fourcheesemac at 6:45 AM on July 11, 2010

I dunno, I guess having been here a number of years, it's a little harder for me to take the whole chatfilter thing seriously. I mean, look back at AskMe from 3-4 years ago. LOTS of chatfilter. LOTS of back-and-forth conversation within the threads. I don't know when it changed, maybe a couple years ago, probably around the time that the Dinosaur Media started taking notice of the *fi sites and featuring us in their lists and crap.

I mean, I understand that it's a... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Afroblanco at 11:26 PM on July 6, 2010

Well, this isn't directed at anyone in particular, bu if you are using your own anecdotal life experience to support an argument for or against anything on the green, I think it's best to say so, because of course that affects the answer you give.

So, as far as this issue goes, if you've been abused in a relationship, you may be conditioned to see abuse where there is even the slightest indication of trouble and feel the need to intercede on behalf of the asker, because... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by misha at 8:23 PM on July 4, 2010

Here is an eerily similar AskMe where posters were able to be firm and helpful without resorting to epithets, even though in this case there is concrete evidence that the partner is controlling and difficult (asker is "expected" not to speak with female friends of 20 years).
posted to MetaTalk by grobstein at 10:16 AM on July 2, 2010

I totally agree with mondaygreens. The way the words "abuse" and "abusive" are cavalierly thrown around on AskMe raises the specter of a "boy who cried wolf" problem. One day, someone who's well-acquainted with how relationshipfilter usually goes may post a question about an actually abusive relationship, not realize it's abusive, read the answers using the words "abuse" and "abusive," and think: "Eh, that's what they... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Jaltcoh at 5:23 PM on July 1, 2010

23skidoo: well hell I see a bunch of people saying DTMFA because he is not ok with being friends with exes when the poster originally said that he was perfectly fine -- it was just the picture that concerned him. It certainly seems like people are ignoring the facts just to be able to say DTMFA. If someone uses askmefi a relationship question there is a good chance that the advice of the thread could significantly determine the outcome. It is completely unethical to answer questions with... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by An algorithmic dog at 3:48 PM on July 1, 2010

He's not an asshole, and you're not a victim. There's nothing "wrong" with him and there's nothing wrong with you. He didn't break up with you out of the blue, either: he broke up with you for perfectly rational reasons you just don't currently happen to be in the position to understand. If you were, you wouldn't be so surprised.

He obviously enjoys being around you enough to date you, but he doesn't want anything more than that: no moving forward, no marriage,... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by goblinbox at 2:11 PM on July 1, 2010

I don't believe that outside of the MeTa threads that people attacked men for being men. Some people do attack Americans for being Americans. (See notably telling us to stop wishing people a Happy Thanksgiving, a gesture not meant as harmful and certainly not offensive to non-Americans in the way that sexist overtures are offensive to women.) Since it's not directed at you, you probably don't notice it as much. There are times on MetaFilter where I feel it's expected of me to apologize... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by modernnomad at 11:11 AM on June 29, 2010

In an environment where American members of the site are often attacked simply for being American, it's very easy to get defensive when criticisms are raised.

I point you again to the 'boyzone' threads, where it was tirelessly (and correctly) repeated that men shouldn't feel defensive when criticisms of their behaviour were raised, even though that behaviour was not maliciously intended. To them it just seemed 'normal', because they were immersed in... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by modernnomad at 9:36 AM on June 29, 2010

Are you... actually complaining that the internet isn't US-centric enough?

No, I am complaining about all the complaining. For a while it was seeming that this place was unable to go a week without someone making a metatalk post asking some version of, "Why won't people think of my feelings!"

It got to where I was tempted to make a list of all the things people would rather other people not do, say, or be.
posted to MetaTalk by cjorgensen at 8:43 AM on June 29, 2010

UbuRoivas: "Note to Americans: Melburnians suffer from an inferiority complex and always want to be included, just like your little brother in backyard cricket."

We don't usually get crickets in the backyard until August or so, it's still only June here. What month is it in Australia now?
posted to MetaTalk by octothorpe at 4:02 AM on June 29, 2010

Not as exhausting as growing up with a dad who uses his 15 minutes to tell the world how much he hates your mom.

It's really exhausting the way we assume people who come to our attention are instantly "famous" and therefore their fame is worth our critical examination. It's a habit I'd like to see more people kick.

In the last year I've written three or four things which all led to my getting a lot of attention from... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Rory Marinich at 8:10 PM on June 24, 2010

It sounds like she had a rough time and some of the stuff she mentioned sounds really terrible, but the sensationalism woven into this is just absurd.
posted to MetaFilter by P.o.B. at 1:52 PM on June 24, 2010

I just have too many friends who are receptionists and get treated like crap on a daily basis by people who think they are too important to act like decent human beings.

Thinking that this is anti-receptionist misses the point just as much as thinking it's anti-cat. It doesn't matter what job the time-waster does: the fact is that he or she is asking the skilled person to do a professional job for free. Someone above mentioned the receptionist not... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by rory at 7:32 AM on June 24, 2010

I laughed. Several times.
posted to MetaFilter by iconomy at 7:05 AM on June 24, 2010

I mean no disrespect by this, but either your profile is deliberately misleading or you're a "[21-year-old] Experienced Web / Software Developer having problems finding work for the first time in years." Perhaps, like me, they wonder how a 21-year-old person can possibly have that much experience in the field.

On to a genuine attempt to be helpful.... You keep using the word "local" - perhaps the local (Calgary, according to your... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by richyoung at 4:32 PM on June 23, 2010

If the universities and the guys of Metafilter had their way, pole dancing and stripping would be considered "sports" for Title IX purposes. "Dude, like, Cam Whore is totally a sport, right?"

As a "guy of Metafilter", this shit sucks.
posted to MetaFilter by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 10:12 AM on June 22, 2010

That is simply great. Well done, all y'all!
posted to MetaTalk by five fresh fish at 1:09 PM on June 21, 2010

This doesn't bother me. "Fixed that for you." does.

I wish we could ban "I see what you did there" meaning you understand a joke or a reference.

Also, prefacing one's comment with "Oh for fuck's sake" as a way to say "I'm so right and you're so wrong."
posted to MetaTalk by Jaltcoh at 2:48 PM on June 18, 2010

Bondcliff is right on. In fact, I'm a little troubled that we seem to be condemning people who aren't liberal hippies. A gun question wouldn't even bat half an eyelash in a place like Texas. I hope we're not interested in driving people away who aren't like us so that we can continue to interact with people who are only like us.
posted to MetaTalk by Melismata at 8:55 AM on June 17, 2010

please deter your friends from the sorts of behavior we talk about

To be honest, the comment that frames this request doesn't exactly scan as healthy social behavior, either. You describe feeling "trapped" by polite gestures and made "helpless" by compliments; you go to some lengths to prove that the social graces are being employed to checkmate you, and that many encounters are reduced to simple fight or flight. The mere... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by kid ichorous at 5:56 AM on June 7, 2010

Effectively silencing? No. Nobody is stopping anyone else from typing, 'cept the mods and maybe some comment-length truncation in the code. If you believe that women are culturally indoctrinated to, ah, not engage in gladiator-style combat, still, nothing prevents you from either saying what you like in the fashion you like it or getting out your trident and net and going to town. Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?

You are free to act. No... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by adipocere at 6:53 AM on June 15, 2010

DNye -- great writing, point well stated. If you are sincerely asking for help in understanding the other point of view, how it could possibly be held by a somewhat reasonable person, I think we could break that down.

But your post seems more rhetorical and straw-manny, designed to mock at a higher level with a less-than-sincere statement of inability to eff, so I hesitate to take the bait. Feminism discussions here often devolve into sides-taking, and as a centrist... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by msalt at 11:47 AM on June 11, 2010

Instead, those of us who have expressed any sort of contrary opinion have been treated to the rhetorical equivalent of "I know you are but what am I,"

Look. I'm all in favor of having a reasonable discussion about this. However, really, people have to back off [on both sides yes] if that's what you want to talk about. I actually stopped listening about this point...

a community of thousands of people is... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 5:46 PM on June 13, 2010

I'd win any scepticism and cynicism contest, and I don't believe anything anyone says online without 10 kinds of corroboration. I was suspicious of this story initially and asked pointed questions. I was not dismissed and oprexx0rd, I was answered, by a variety of sources, in the thread. Subsequent evidence, from a similar variety of posters and agencies, has poured in. So either this was an elaborate scheme involving 10 different people and weeks of planning and several continents and possibly... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Potomac Avenue at 2:43 PM on June 13, 2010

You've just gotta love jessamyn.
posted to MetaTalk by nola at 8:17 PM on June 10, 2010

I think it will happen once your body adjusts. We're made to exercise.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Not Supplied at 11:37 AM on June 10, 2010 marked best answer

Actually, I am completely wrong about what weekend I will be away and I plan to attend this. Yahoo!
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 10:15 AM on June 8, 2010

>Yes, I don't get why a relevant link would need to be sent via a private message.

I'm not accusing, because I don't know what delmoi was thinking about when he did it, but it leaves the impression that the privacy is to conceal not-so-great behavior instead of to avoid a derail or talk about something personal. So I can see why three blind mice brought it here, back in public where it should have been originally anyway.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Tobu at 1:25 PM on June 7, 2010

The new findings are based on 77 families of both girls and boys. The researchers interviewed the lesbian mothers about their kids and then rated the teenagers on the Child Behavior Checklist, a standardized assessment that has been used for decades. Each teenager also filled out an internet-based psychological questionnaire.

When comparing the results to how mothers living in conventional families rated their teenagers, children of same-sex couples were more... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by kid ichorous at 10:24 AM on June 7, 2010

If you want to date a MeFite, there are seven things you can learn to ingratiate yourself with them:

1. SLYT. Two things you need to know about these initials. One, SLYT is short hand for single link YouTube. Two, you must have an opinion about whether a SLYT post is good or bad, especially if you are a frequent front page poster. The viability of SLYT posts is a very polarizing topic if the poles are defined as "apathy" and "hatred.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Mister Cheese at 5:09 PM on June 4, 2010

You know MeFi, you inconvenience me but yet I still come back to you, bruised and battered for my weekly fill of GRAR and hufflepuff. I sat at work yesterday, with very little to do, waiting all day for someone to take this thread to MeTa...

And this is the MeTa for that post? I am appalled sir, appalled!

TBM---the reason anybody wanted you to apologize is pretty simple, you sort of did the OMG REACTIONARY DRIVEL thing really, really early in... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by TomMelee at 5:07 PM on June 5, 2010

Er, I don't even know what the point of this list is. We stopped loading the Metafilter cannon with books because they proved ineffective against the upgraded armor of the Imperial Dreadnoughts. We've since swapped to using bacon, puppies, and (occasionally) languagehat.
posted to MetaTalk by Ritchie at 3:40 AM on June 5, 2010

Sadly, the Dunkin' Donuts on the campus of my employer only sells the coffee and not the donuts.

That's not sad; it's morally repugnant.
posted to MetaFilter by FelliniBlank at 12:27 PM on June 4, 2010

Thank you for posting a link to my elegy for Peter, nickyskye. He was so sweet to me when I was a kid-poet at Naropa, as I talk about in the piece. Peter and Allen were also the first long-term gay male couple I'd ever heard of, a hugely important role model for me -- and now my partner Keith and I are happily married. Allen scandalized academia by listing Peter as his "spouse" in Who's Who in the '60; it's nice to think that gay kids growing up now can have some... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by digaman at 11:10 AM on June 2, 2010