MetaFilter

I AM NOT GETTING INTO THIS ARGUMENT! I DON'T KNOW! AAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH!

*head explodes*
posted to MetaTalk by MarkAnd at 7:24 AM on November 2, 2007

I don't know what it is about the whole 'social' thing that's got Matt so excited these days. It's a bit disconcerting, although since it's the flavour of the moment, I suppose it adds perceived value, if not much utility.

I remain unconvinced of the usefulness of website tools to replace or even supplement the ways we've made and kept friends in the past -- by talking to them, by sharing experience. Seems false and faux to me.

I'm not sure how... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:41 PM on November 2, 2007

RAAR I AM A VIKING
posted to MetaTalk by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:28 AM on November 2, 2007

I'm going as an admin conflicted about whether this thread is a good idea or not.
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 4:39 PM on October 30, 2007

How about a giant roast beef sandwich, heavy on the mayo, stuffed into a set of skid marked granny panties? How about that?
posted to MetaFilter by The Straightener at 8:00 PM on October 28, 2007

This story is like the perfect storm of everything I try mightily to avoid: Williamsburg, Herpes, Hipsters, Gawker, and Insane People who Put Up Flyers for Revenge. And yet, here I am.
posted to MetaFilter by deern the headlice at 6:51 AM on October 25, 2007

A steampunk juicer is just a hammer. Every Top Whatever List for Better Nonsense should automatically have an appended last item.

last: go outside.
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 8:34 PM on October 23, 2007

I thought it was going to be the N-word.

Three beautiful Nubian queens show up at the offices of a theatrical agency and ask that the agent consider taking them on his books.

"Maybe", he says, "but I'd have to see your act first."

They break out their equipment. The first woman takes out her violin and begins to play a fantastic piece by Bach. She's playing it note perfect, and... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by PeterMcDermott at 4:56 AM on October 23, 2007

Yeah, my husband and I like to play a game called What Do They Want You to Buy?, which consists of us flipping through the pages of our respective magazines and shouting out whatever the ads ostensibly want us to buy. It usually goes something like this:

Him: Car! Car! Truck! Watch! Car! Gadget! Sexy Tit-Flavored Alcohol! Futuristic Razor!

Me: Shoes! Jewels! Birth Control! A Tampon...Made out of Diamonds! Lipstick that Will... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Powerful Religious Baby at 3:29 PM on October 20, 2007

Here's the secret: view all advertising, lifestyle magazine articles, and reality tv shows as the product of clean and shiny white people with multicultural names, not eight years out of school, told all their lives that they were smart and special, now especially proud of themselves to be living in the big city with money to burn and to be working in a so cool renovated former industrial space with extremely comfy chairs, yet drowning their weekends in alcohol, cocaine and sex with strangers... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by TimTypeZed at 2:40 PM on October 20, 2007

*David Caruso puts on shades, Won't Get Fooled Again screams out of the bridge, I puke & move on*
posted to MetaFilter by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:51 AM on October 16, 2007

I can chuck your kid into poison ivy for nothing.
posted to MetaFilter by kuujjuarapik at 8:21 AM on October 15, 2007

Has anyone ever seen a good UI for threading?

Yes. It only allows two layers of hierarchy though. One is called "posts" and the other is called "comments."
posted to MetaTalk by grouse at 6:34 AM on October 11, 2007

Twenty bucks same as in

BREAKING: USED UP JOKE FOUND BEATEN TO DEATH WITH A WRENCH IN A DRAINAGE DITCH
posted to MetaTalk by Lentrohamsanin at 11:48 AM on October 11, 2007

I CAN HAZ BIRFDAY?

BUTZ I R NOT SHORTY!
posted to MetaFilter by Sparx at 8:54 AM on October 10, 2007

Allow me to sum up:
White people, black people.
posted to MetaFilter by jewzilla at 7:47 AM on October 10, 2007

*reads entire thread, begins screaming and waving hands overhead*

*still screaming, walks to kitchen, obtains pickle-fork*

*stops screaming, calmly plucks out eyeballs with pickle-fork*

*resumes screaming*
posted to MetaFilter by loquacious at 2:36 AM on September 30, 2007

[I unsmalled EBs footnote so it doesn't break everyone's My Comments page, I'll resmall it in a bit. xo, your neighborhood mary poppins]
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 6:37 AM on October 9, 2007

A topic on the Internet that allows me to indulge indulge in self-righteous declaration regarding an issue with which I have no experience? Thank goodness, I thought this day would never come.
posted to MetaFilter by dantsea at 8:57 PM on October 7, 2007

Wilt Chamberlain eliminated 16,000 hymens.
posted to MetaFilter by papakwanz at 9:21 PM on October 7, 2007

If you're currently smoking when they ask, tell them you don't smoke.

always a winner.


see, it's funny because you actually ARE smoking, and are therefore contradicting yourself. That's the root of all comedy: contradiction. Well, contradiction and personal embarrassment. And hamburgers and pooping if you are a Dane Cook fan. Plus farts if you're five -- farts are funny. Heck, farts if you're fifty. Everyone loves farts! Anything... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by fishfucker at 10:19 AM on September 28, 2007

Roger's just trying to sleep with you. I understand you! You should sleep with me.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by blacklite at 7:20 PM on September 30, 2007

You've missed the point by a country mile, son. But I'm happy if you somehow feel superior for doing so. Small victories for the small-minded, I suppose.

And you've missed my gender by a country chromosome, son, not to mention my motivation: I was genuinely curious as to what you were implying by suggesting it was her social obligation to lie to you in order to manage your feeilngs in the face of the injury... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by scody at 7:08 PM on September 30, 2007

What Brian B did, whether he meant to or not, was to resort to a classic antisemitic rhetorical device, a device which, while not peculiar to antisemitism, has a very long and troubling history in the specific context of antisemitism. Religious texts, which in Judaism are always understood in relation to other religious texts, are highly susceptible to cherry-picking and, throughout history have been cherry picked to the nth degree for nefarious ends. I'm a pretty rational dude, and I think I... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by kosem at 2:37 PM on May 14, 2007

Awesome! Pink Floyd! I bet their stuff that's old enough to be decent has barely ever been re-released, almost certainly not in a previous box-set!
posted to MetaFilter by Artw at 1:52 PM on October 1, 2007

Yeah I once did a girl in a church and I can attest to that.
posted to MetaTalk by ND¢ at 8:37 PM on September 26, 2007

If it ever comes down to TPS or fandango_matt for "Metafilter Ambassador to the United Nations", the two comments just above are the basis on which it will be decided.
posted to MetaTalk by mr_crash_davis at 3:38 PM on September 26, 2007

I don't mean to panic you, but a pet theory that I was told once is that a couple needs to have a child or 'virtual child' within the first 2-3 years of being together - to take over after the honeymoon period - or the relationship will eventually disintegrate.

By 'virtual child', a pet is probably the most obvious thing that would spring to mind, but better yet is some sort of shared project - something beyond mere weekend leisure activities. This might be buying a... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by UbuRoivas at 12:14 AM on September 20, 2007

This post is good, but then again I slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
posted to MetaFilter by jimmythefish at 5:57 AM on September 19, 2007

Far From Heaven - that starred the dude from those Allstate commercials, right?
posted to MetaTalk by jonson at 10:30 AM on September 19, 2007

jokeefe writes 'I like big butts and I cannot lie.'

The song goes:
"When a girl walks in with an itty, bitty waist, and a round thing in your face."

There's no line that goes:
"When a girl rolls in with a 55 inch waist, and a round thing in your face." or "Kentucky waist with the Oakland Booty."

The first would get me sprung,... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by PeterMcDermott at 7:49 AM on September 18, 2007

Advice, pheh. When I was a single guy, if I scored it was a fluke, usually based on whatever internal drama the woman was going through at the time and I just happened to be the nearest guy. I suspect the same is true of a lot of guys. When this happens, your only mission is to not mess it up by doing something stupid or disgusting. That's all there is to it.
posted to MetaFilter by jonmc at 7:03 AM on September 16, 2007

Totally--they're the America we should have become.

Bland food, frigid weather, endless curling, and the mediocre shows that pass for entertainment on the CBC? No thank you.

Just because The Melting Pot comes with sides of Homophobia and Craptacular President A La Mode doesn't mean you have to eat them.
posted to MetaFilter by dw at 2:34 PM on September 14, 2007

Rhetoric update: dismissing someone's arguments on the basis that they are a white rapper is now known as an ad eminem.
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 3:08 PM on September 14, 2007

No way I could have ever predicted that when I opened this thread that half the people posting in it would use the blink tag. You guys slay me with your crazy craziness!
posted to MetaTalk by iconomy at 6:09 AM on September 14, 2007

From now on, whenever I disagree with absalom, I am going to quote him saying "I fuck a baby" out of context.
posted to MetaFilter by tehloki at 3:47 PM on September 13, 2007

ND¢ writes "E-mailing other mefites that you are in communication with or leaving a note on your profile is saying goodbye to people at a party so they don't just wonder where you went. Posting to MeTa is getting up on a couch at the party and yelling 'I am leaving this party now!'"

Emailing, yeah. Leaving a note in your profile...maybe I use profiles differently than others, but I almost never look at anyone's profiles. Leaving a note... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Bugbread at 8:26 AM on September 12, 2007

*limberly and deftly swings stacked, unexpurgated 20-volume 2nd edition OED on an axe handle*

I know what you're thinking. "Is the complete Second Edition of the Oxford English Dictionary actually twenty volumes, or twenty-three, including the three 'Additions series'? Or is it 24, including the Compact Edition?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is The Complete Oxford English... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by loquacious at 7:07 AM on September 12, 2007

Is there an explanation somewhere of what each of the flags mean?

offensive content: Bush is a Nazi
noise: nazi nazi nazi nazi fishpants
derail: by the way, wasn't Prescott Bush a Nazi?
it breaks the guidelines: What do you think of Bush? I'll go first: he's a Nazi.
posted to MetaTalk by stupidsexyFlanders at 10:03 AM on September 11, 2007

followed by your HTML skills.
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 9:51 AM on September 10, 2007

Up-and-comer johnmc's one-man off-Broadway show "Smoke Break" is a masterpiece that will redefine how we understand urban anomie. Combining physical theatre - his aimless pacing recalls the the relentless, restless motion of the unforgiving metropolis - with a freeform monologue (warning, profanity) that demands we ask questions of ourselves just as the protagonist questions the very basis of the modern social compact. "Why is that arsehole boss always up in my shit?" Why... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Abiezer at 10:38 PM on September 6, 2007

But because everyone is stressed out trying to ensure it's perfect, it can never be. It's a self-failing system.

Interesting. Where do you get your information; Steve Martin movies?
posted to MetaTalk by found missing at 6:56 PM on September 6, 2007

ARE YOU READY TO ROCK, LAWYERS?
posted to MetaFilter by kuujjuarapik at 3:43 PM on September 5, 2007

Thanks, tanklimo.com. I'm sure high school kids needed something new to spice up the best night of their lives.

Be charitable! Which one of these post-Prom lies will sound cooler as you and your buddies are nursing your hangovers?:

"I totally fingerbanged Allison on the way back from the Cheesecake Factory."

"I totally fingerbanged Allison on the way back from the Cheesecake Factory IN A TANK!"
posted to MetaFilter by Mayor Curley at 10:06 AM on September 6, 2007

I love how everyone gets drawn into an argument they weren't planning to have.

The article is only interesting to the extent that it reveals the psyche of the author: "Don't they know that the mute indifference of nature is as terrifying and empty"

I've long held a pet theory which I call the Background Noise Theory. The background noise theory is quite simple: stupid people, violent people, and people who are... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Pastabagel at 7:43 AM on September 4, 2007

What the fuck, man?
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 6:19 AM on September 4, 2007

52,000 members think this would be the end of MetaFilter
posted to MetaTalk by mathowie at 7:35 PM on September 3, 2007

I suggest an additional interface feature called "blammo", note it next to the favorite + with an "*". Here's the thing, MAKE SURE IT DOES NOTHING AT ALL. Invite everyone to test it and make a permanent sidebarred open thread to discuss all issues -technical and social- related to the blammo. This would be the metafilter equivalent of those mini-vans with seatback dvd players so your kids will SHUT THE FUCK UP for five seconds so you can do your best not to slam the car... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Divine_Wino at 7:34 AM on August 31, 2007

Very cool.

I also have found a cool synchronization effect when I play Madonna's "Open Your Heart" video and -- 34 seconds in -- begin masturbating.
posted to MetaFilter by flarbuse at 12:26 AM on August 28, 2007

Spoiler alert: you are impeached by people who actually enjoy books and movies.
posted to MetaTalk by Gary at 10:54 AM on August 31, 2007