MetaFilter

It's obnoxious, but it's not as if he goes on for long winded screeds of tortured logic, derailing threads as he drags the whole thing down in a firey shitstorm. He just jumps in, shoots off something that has a 90% chance of being absolute shit*, then moves on. I don't even notice him anymore, hardly.

But, that 10% of the time isn't bad, and he doesn't usually turn threads into stinkpots all about himself, so what's the harm? Consider him like that really obnoxious... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by absalom at 2:57 PM on August 26, 2007

Hmm. I would like to explain something to you. Please sit down, relax, clear your mind, and then slap yourself in the head with a giant balloon hammer. This is something that you should have learned in 5th grade but since you didn't (and let's face it, 90% of guys don't figure this out until much later), I'll use small words.

Some girls like to FLIRT because it's a GAME to them. It doesn't MEAN anything to them. If her boyfriend really does exist, then this girl... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Stynxno at 1:27 PM on August 24, 2007

I am the titan Epimetheus, come to inform everyone who does not yet have my gift of hindsight:

If you diverted the effort you currently use in hunting for tang, and did something constructive with it, you will be better off. Working harder to get sex has a net negative effect on how much sex you get.

if you are not generally successful at getting laid, your Facebook profile will not help you. If you are generally successful at getting laid... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Mayor Curley at 9:39 AM on August 24, 2007

Gay bags threaten the sanctity of heterosexual carrying.
posted to MetaTalk by solipsophistocracy at 12:51 PM on August 24, 2007

I was having zero luck with my Facebook profile until I put a closeup pic of my cock on there. YMMV.
posted to MetaFilter by LordSludge at 10:37 AM on August 24, 2007

You actually think these people give a damn? That they possibly have existential, meaning of life moments?

Fuck no.

They're getting serious tail whenever and however they want it. You think they want a conversation? (and that goes for the women too) No, they just want to fuck and show off their fuckability by being seen with other eminently fuckable people.

They don't care what we think. Fuck now, think later.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by C.Batt at 8:56 AM on August 23, 2007

It's nice to hear that the GPS tracking device that you hid in jessamyn's car is working, but I'm more interested in what & where this "coolest thing ever seen" is.
posted to MetaTalk by UbuRoivas at 9:53 PM on August 22, 2007

And now, pb with sports.
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 7:34 PM on August 22, 2007

Spinach? Black Beans? Carrots? Sure, if you want to be Popeye the Sailor Bunny with problem flatulence.

This from the pasty, anemic city guy who sweats hot chili Funyuns and gummy cheeseburgers! Boy, the longer you stay on that diet of styrofoam and grease, the easier it'll be for me and my healthy liver to drink you totally fucking retarded when we finally meet! Have a Twinkie!
posted to MetaFilter by loquacious at 4:51 PM on August 21, 2007

There are 16,000 Google hits for ["michael vick" mesothelioma]. Mashup time?
posted to MetaTalk by grouse at 4:41 PM on August 20, 2007

Yeah, back when I lived in Dayton, we'd always drive over to Columbus to pick our food. Ah, to see the rolling fields of downtown Columbus again. ;)
posted to MetaTalk by salvia at 7:24 PM on August 19, 2007

This kind of thing makes me so angry I want to vomit on the people who are marketing this. Fucking entitlement whores lie, cheat and bullshit their way through high school and then somehow make it into University, where they do the same fucking thing. Then they glut the fucking job market with their degrees, they get hired, and they can't even write a coherent declarative sentence.

Anyone caught using one of these things should be summarily dismissed from the school,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:58 AM on August 19, 2007

Martini drinkers don't go to places with martini menus.
Martini drinkers don't go places without stumbling and bumping into things.
posted to MetaTalk by Wolfdog at 12:44 PM on August 19, 2007

I thought Saalk cured Poolio.
posted to MetaTalk by klangklangston at 2:46 PM on August 16, 2007

I would love a podcast of nothing but Mefites reading their favorite snarky comments written by other Mefites.
posted to MetaTalk by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:47 AM on August 17, 2007

Nobody goes home with the bartender.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Caviar at 12:39 PM on April 21, 2006

(just as a warning, if I see Karl Rove out on the street some years from now, I'm totally kicking him in the junk.)

(Oh for internet's sake, no you aren't. You're totally pointing at him to the friend you're walking with and saying, "holy shit is—is that Karl Rove? It is!" And then your friend is saying, "hey, yeah. I think you're right." And then you're saying, "weird. I wonder what he's doing here?" And then you... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by cortex at 7:54 AM on August 13, 2007

She's probably a "belle." Your collegue is a "dickweed."
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Phred182 at 6:33 AM on August 13, 2007

Heyes and hears and a houth and a hose.
posted to MetaTalk by sonofslim at 10:48 AM on August 13, 2007

Hees and Hoes.
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 10:29 AM on August 13, 2007

Heads, Houlders, Hees and Hoes.
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 10:28 AM on August 13, 2007

Eponysterical is not a word.

It is a word. You just used it in a sentence.
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 7:11 AM on August 13, 2007

It makes it a lot easier to tell that you're all just a bunch of twerps who never recovered from high school.
posted by Tacos Are Pretty Great at 6:34 PM on August 9

Your deep concern over high school makes me a little worried, man.

Does anyone actually care about junior high? No? Then why care about high school? Like, yeah, the lack of responsibility is pretty cool but if this were a thread about riding bikes... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Optimus Chyme at 6:44 PM on August 9, 2007

"Thoughts?"

Your post advocates a:
[x] community moderated
[x] technical
[ ] social
[ ] legislative
[ ] economic
[ ] authoritarian
solution to crappy MetaFilter posts.

I'm afraid it won't work due to:
[x] the King of the Shitpile problem
[ ] Matt doesn't have time
[ ] the code... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by majick at 7:43 PM on August 8, 2007

How on earth can you have an important discussion about a man hitting a baseball past a certain point for the 756th time?

Very, very easily. We can talk about Lacan, we can talk about the best way to make foul, we can talk about the clusterfuck in Iraq, we can talk about LOLCats (!), and we damn sure can talk about baseball. Your distaste, respectfully, notfuckingwithstanding.
posted to MetaTalk by kosem at 9:58 PM on August 7, 2007

I would have guessed that the robotic comment axing script just automatically deleted anything with the phrase "Dude, duuude" in it.
posted to MetaTalk by Dave Faris at 2:29 PM on August 7, 2007

I don't care what strictures people want to put on their own AskMe questions so I'm not going to talk about how I'm pro-fluoride and pretty upset that Portland's water isn't fluoridated because of hackneyed beliefs like these. (Congratulations, alternadipshits, for ensuring that a lot of poor kids in this town get to walk around with aching teeth.)

No, what I'm wondering about is all these new user names that are 70 miles long and sound like obscure McSweeney's jokes:... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by melissa may at 6:49 AM on August 7, 2007

New York City (all 5 boroughs) -- #13 (10,439 population density/km²).

C'mon now, that's not fair: Staten Island has ten people, a million rats, and a decomissioned landfill.
posted to MetaTalk by dame at 6:37 PM on August 6, 2007

I've noticed blatantly false statements about various religions well before I was even a member.

wow. i'll bet if you pay close attention on a sunny day, you'll even detect a huge ball of fire in the sky.
posted to MetaTalk by quonsar at 9:06 AM on August 6, 2007

apple scruff, anyone who has been on the bad side of an HR department likes anonymous's girlfriend a lot better than you, even if her felony was RPG'ing a hybrid-fueled bus full of orphans.
posted to MetaTalk by Mayor Curley at 4:00 PM on August 5, 2007

...once. When I was five.
posted to MetaTalk by Wolfdog at 4:22 PM on May 9, 2007

ha! he misspelled compliance. that's because he's done being a sheep and complying with grammar. all language is theft.
posted to MetaTalk by shmegegge at 12:37 PM on May 9, 2007

Treaty of Teamobilia
posted to MetaTalk by ludwig_van at 1:20 PM on August 2, 2007

Many of us wouldn't sleep with say Republicans, or smokers - why should this choice be any more controversial?

For one, it cuts down your field of available partners by better than 90%. Two, the remaining field is further 90% smug, shoot-from-the-hip liberals. That might work for an evening, but do you want to spend the rest of your romantic life hearing lines like "Tibet is, like, living under oppression and shit,"?... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Mayor Curley at 6:02 AM on August 2, 2007

If I travel back in time and kill myself as a todler, do I cease to exist? Lets ask some crazy people!
posted to MetaFilter by SweetJesus at 5:52 PM on July 30, 2007

and yet the majority of replies have nothing to do with answering what I've asked.

Because the problem you have and the solution you need are not related to the question you asked. You are 19. You think you are a revolutionary variation on the concept of Human Being and that we simply can't follow your logic. The truth is that at 19 or so people, myself included, are deluded, self-important clowns. Stop coming up with clever "life hacks"... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by yerfatma at 12:40 PM on July 29, 2007

You are a dope, NortonDC.
posted to MetaTalk by Mister_A at 12:30 PM on July 28, 2007

That was a totally bizarre Slavoj Zizek kind of moment there. The power class was buzzing around in the sky, watching the ruination of someone's life way down below - making buckets of cash by broadcasting someone else's tragedy,

This is the dumbest metafilter comment that has ever been posted.

The power class? Small market helicopter pilot/reporters are generally owner/operator small businessmen who net far less than... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by felix at 3:24 PM on July 27, 2007

IF YOU STOP LOOKING AT TEH LOHAN SHE WILL GO AWAY!!

Just kidding, actually, it's important for each of us to know of her actions and whereabouts at all times, to avoid being run down by her drunken deathmobile.
posted to MetaTalk by hermitosis at 11:29 AM on July 25, 2007

Oh, jeez, you guys... I'm just about to go back to my internetless home. Can't you save this for when I can enjoy it?

(Davy's often an abrasive jerkass, and was needlessly abrasive here, but you're kinda over-reacting instead of just being like, "Man, Davy's being all socially retarded again," and picturing him in a wheelchair wearing viking armor.)
posted to MetaTalk by klangklangston at 5:36 PM on July 24, 2007

I don't know about bacon salt, really, but just think about this for a minute:

You cook up some of that thick slab bacon, slooooowly. Then you take some fresh sliced sourdough bread and toast it lightly. Then you cut up one New Jersey beefsteak tomato (wait till you get a good one!), you need four thick slices because you are going to end up eating two of these, then one (ONE) piece of red leaf lettuce or Romaine (you need about 1/3 stem/thick end to leaf ratio), not... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Divine_Wino at 10:09 AM on July 19, 2007

Just out of curiosity, why do you think more moderators is bad for the site, quonsar?

think? who's thinking? it just sounded like something quonsar should say.

*shrugs*
posted to MetaTalk by quonsar at 1:58 PM on July 21, 2007

What I mean is that I wish MetaFilter was edited-for-content less.

I get that. If I thought it would make the site work, I'd be absolutely for it. But as a reality, I don't, and so I'm not.

I've had reason to trawl through some ugly, stupid, vicious forums that hold that character as a necessity or even a badge of honor: it's a practical result of the "we're not pansies, we're not censors" view combined with the free run of... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 8:12 AM on July 19, 2007

Perhaps Hotmail hacked into your Mefi account and posted it?
posted to MetaTalk by Aloysius Bear at 6:59 AM on July 19, 2007

My wife tells me about her dreams, and I have to pretend to care because I love her. You are not my wife.
posted to MetaTalk by Optamystic at 2:11 AM on July 19, 2007

The pursuit of lulz indeed. Seriously, this question has all the earmarks of fantastic lulz possibility and I'm almost disappointed this didn't taken place elsewhere to fully take advantage of it, like livejournal or something because I feel like effin' Bela Karolyi and I've just discovered the Nadia Comaneci of lulz. Then we'd be neck deep in an explosion of fanart from drooling fan masses encouraging and depicting the OP of the question to carry through with her "romantic" plans, the... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by kkokkodalk at 8:29 AM on July 17, 2007

I'm actually very glad you've asked this question. I've been faced with a similar choice - and it is, ultimately, just that. It's a choice to do something that doesn't sit well with you, or else you wouldn't have asked your question in the first place.

So......all of this is based on e-mails? This whole thing is based on things you've read? Okay, let's back up for a second.

Since you're considering all of this based on... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by TryTheTilapia at 7:56 AM on July 17, 2007

language fat lol
posted to MetaTalk by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 7:15 AM on July 17, 2007

Yale English professor William Deresiewicz argues that the newly-emerged stereotype of professors as "pompous, lecherous, alcoholic failures" ...

This dude sounds like the guy who sits next to you at the bar, takes a few sips of his drink, turns in your general direction and casually says "I'm not a drunk, you know. Not a failure either. I'm incredibly sucessful."

You then begin to think of the best way to... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Avenger at 8:10 PM on July 13, 2007

HEY EVERYONE, I ALREADY KNEW THEY WERE COVERS! LOOK AT ME!!!
posted to MetaFilter by puke & cry at 6:31 PM on July 13, 2007